The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

It was a day when the snow poured down fiercely.

Pure white feathers, untainted by dirt, fluttered through the dark gray clouds.

The first snow of the year.

Feeling the chilling cold, I headed towards the entrance of Museion, where Remi lived.

Dragging my feet across the ground.

They were dull and slow.

Thud, thud.

“I said only two people were to follow me.”

“…I apologize.”

“It’s alright. It’s all my fault.”

While walking, I spoke to the two guards beside me.

Not wanting to unnecessarily provoke Remi, I clearly conveyed to them that I wanted to reduce the number of escorts following me as much as possible.

Now that I was in the imperial capital, there should be no immediate threats to my safety, I thought.

A procession of unnecessary guards would only make everyone, including Remi, uncomfortable.

Originally, I had intended to go alone, but I deliberately imposed a limit of two people.

However, I never imagined they would rebel against my orders and secretly follow me like this.

Their faces were clearly marked with traces of concern and reflection.

Yeah.

For them, who prioritize honor and loyalty, it must weigh heavily on them that they couldn’t respect my wishes.

But my safety, the most important value, had forced them into a tough decision.

Remi, the victim of my actions.

I had said I was okay, but they were probably worried that my sister would charge at me with a sword like before.

Or perhaps they were trying to prevent me from, in my despair, cutting my own throat and handing it over to Remi.

Whatever it was.

Everything was an extension of the results I caused.

And undeniably, all of this occurred because I was deemed reliable.

So—

“—Let’s go.”

“Yes.”

I had no right to punish them.

In fact, I could say that my wrongdoing was bigger for causing them worry and inconvenience.

Always, just like always.

Whiiiish.

The falling snow did not lighten with time; rather, it grew harsher.

What started as light flakes now swirled around like a horse’s mane.

In the first snow from the sky, children were forming snowballs and running off somewhere, while shopkeepers began to set up covers in front of their stores.

Indifferent-looking workers walked by with arms full of coal, oblivious to the snow falling around them.

None among the many people paused.

What moves them, and what do they live for?

Will there come a day when I can understand the minds of people finding balance between joy and boredom, living day by day?

“…..Hoo.”

The sun had long risen, yet there was no sign of brightness on the streets as I began to mentally organize what I would say to Remi when I met her.

I hoped she had been well.

Were there any places where she was hurt or in pain?

That everyone in the family worried a lot about her.

Those things that I could never say to Remi when facing her, I earnestly murmured each one in my heart.

Like forming snowballs, with great care.

But the snowball created in such a way would never reach Remi in the end.

‘Why…..why…..!!’

‘……….’

‘Why did you kill…Aris…What did she do wrong!!!’

The image of Remi, screaming at me to curse her forever, and to never show her face in front of me again flashed vividly before my eyes.

With a future tinged in earthy tones looming ahead, my lips failed to smile or shed tears; they only bore an expression of self-ridicule.

Even so, I continued to walk forward, following the people around me.

Even if the only thing waiting ahead was a cruel future.

A condemned prisoner on the way to the gallows is not allowed to stop.

“It’s cold.”

Quickly, let’s go.

Ding ding, the sound of someone’s small bell resonated through the shopping district.

With that sound as a backdrop, my steps quickened, increasing bit by bit with each chime.

Somewhere, jingling sounds echoed.

Tap, tap, two steps forward.

“Wow, the princess?!”

“………”

Despite the guards’ surprised voices, I didn’t slow my pace.

No matter how fast I ran, avoiding the snow pouring from the heavens was impossible.

The more I did so, the heavier the weight of the snow accumulating on my shoulders became, but still, in this futile escape where only the fleeing existed, I didn’t stop.

Where was I walking to?

Where was I running away?

“…..Ah.”

Right.

Museion, I was headed there.

As my pace took on a strange awkwardness, as if running away from something, the snow melted into the ground beneath my feet, and new snow began to layer atop the tears upon that spot, eventually blanketing the streets completely white.

My steps gradually regained their normal pace.

At the same time, the sounds surrounding me began to emerge as well.

The calling voices of street vendors enticing customers, the relieved sighs of the guards, the loud chatter of women clad in thick furs.

And—

[“…! Aris, thank you!! Hehe!”]

[“…….Yes.”]

A familiar voice, as well.

At first, I thought I had misheard.

That it was just someone with a voice similar to her, and that I was merely mistaken.

Or if not, perhaps my mind, still not fully recovered, was merely experiencing an auditory hallucination.

Even now, when I close my eyes, vivid voices of past memories often echo in my mind.

Aris and Remi playing in the flower garden, Aris running over to hug me while I quietly read a book in the distance—those unbearably cruel memories.

The bright, lively voice of Remi, which I could never hear again.

The cheerful voice of Aris, buried by my own hands.

I thought that those precious memories from that time were merely resurfacing to torment me.

Yeah.

That’s what I thought.

“….Cough, cough! Hah, haah..!”

“…Aris!? What’s wrong!?”

“……Ah?”

But it wasn’t that.

As I got closer to the source of the sound, it grew louder.

A voice that seemed to choke, filled with an anguish I had never heard before.

The guard beside me muttered his mixed speculation that the voice sounded like Remi’s.

And there, in the distance, I began to see Remi and beside her, a small figure trembling while holding onto Remi’s clothes.

I could only think of someone I knew.

Someone who shouldn’t be here.

I called out with a trembling voice.

“……Aris?”

Just a small question.

With my call, every gaze from those standing nearby turned to me.

Among them was Remi, staring at me with a look of abject horror as if she had seen something she shouldn’t.

And beside her, two girls with black hair were watching me, equally shocked.

But despite the gazes directed at me, my focus was solely on a single child standing there.

A small, child.

“…..Ah?”

It couldn’t be mistaken.

I couldn’t have failed to recognize that figure.

Though much had changed.

Though she had grown unrecognizably over the two years.

Beneath the black hood, silver hair spilled out from underneath, unable to be completely concealed.

Slowly turning her head my way, deep and clear turquoise eyes that resembled a forest and ocean met mine.

Aris Akaia.

My sister, whom I had thought dead.

The impossible reality of her presence before my eyes left me speechless, frozen in place.

Why on earth.

Why was Aris with Remi?

What had been a clear truth started to crumble under the undeniable evidence before my eyes.

Thoughts whirled around, like long worms crawling into my ears, ransacking my mind, squeezing it.

I forgot to breathe and could only stare at that form in a trance.

But was that the problem?

Could the altered present bury the past that had been?

My sins remained unchanged.

—Gwaaaak..!

“…I hate it…”

Slowly, Aris’s small lips parted as she looked at me.

Watching that, I perfectly recalled the disgusting jealousy that had consumed me and the terrible things I had done to that child.

A sticky sensation creeping up my fingertips.

The horrific feeling of piercing soft skin multiple times with a sharp blade.

The murderer faced the one he had killed.

Then where was this?

This was surely.

Without a doubt, hell.

“—I HATE IT!!!!”

Dozens of blades tore apart my heart.

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