The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Jjomul, jjomul.

“…Is it possible for me to survive for the next three years…?”

A lament from a girl who just turned sixteen and still has a few more years until twenty.

You might think it’s an unreasonable worry, but right now, I’m genuinely worried about my life.

A murder threat?

Honestly, that would be preferable.

My arm aches, doubting if it’ll leave a bruise. Should I touch the swollen spot? I blew lightly on it and rubbed around the still-hot area of my forearm.

It was a strange sensation of wanting to stop, yet wanting to continue, a painful but refreshing feeling enveloping me.

“……Hmm.”

On my once pristine forearm, there was now a clear red mark etched in a long line.

What on earth is going on?

It felt exactly like a bolt from the blue.

Well, at least the near 30 minutes of massage was enough to ease the pain that felt like it was going to kill me.

The pain still lingered, though.

…I wonder if it’s okay to touch it now.

—Thud.

“…..!!”

Nope, nope, nope —!!

Testing it out, I pressed hard on the swollen area, and my body jumped as if I were electrocuted.

It was like a halibut taken out of water.

Flop flop, I tried to muffle my cries while repeatedly banging my head against the wall I was leaning on before I finally calmed down.

Suddenly, a person banging their head against a still wall — that’s me!

“….Waaaah…”

Waaaah… Waaaah…

I’m having a hard time…

I want to go home…

In the waves of self-loathing, I glared at my arm with resentment.

Just looking at that swollen red mark, anyone could tell how fierce today’s swordsmanship class had been.

Self-defense, they said!!

A technique to protect myself, they claimed!!

If this is what ‘self-defense’ swordsmanship looks like… then what on earth have I been through…!?

A swell of sadness surged within me.

Even though I vented my unfairness countless times in my heart, in this place with not a single ant around, there was no comforting presence to hear my lament.

I was truly scared; is dying really how it ends for me?

Honestly, it felt easier to reminisce about the times I foolishly joined my seniors on bandit hunts before I even got the title of mercenary.

Yeah, bandit hunts.

Like hell, where blood and flesh were everywhere—

‘…Behind?! You, you bastard—!?’

‘The one who’s dead is the idiot. Keep this in mind, Hahn. Kick him in the balls or the eyes. A dead person can’t speak.’

…A blend of deception and strategy—

Puff! Puff, stab!

‘Kya… Aaaah… M-mother…’

‘Well, it’s not that there’s nothing to say, it’s just that you’re wrong, senior!’

‘A person is either a man or a woman. Therefore, that bastard isn’t a person.’

‘Oh.’

Just like that, swords clashing— um…

Ehe, um.

…It might sound strange, but it was indeed a bandit hunt.

Throwing dirt into each other’s eyes, discreetly tripping one another, stabbing the back of the head was common, but yes, it was indeed mercenaries taking out a bandit group.

For now, I think I’m right. Yes.

I remember trembling my hands and feet while watching my first-ever bloody fight unfold, so why is this the only scene stuck in my head?

All of this is because of today’s class.

Ah, by the way, here’s what happened during swordsmanship class—

…

‘—DIEEEEEEEEE!!’

‘Hiiiiiik—!?’

The moment I grabbed my sword, a person, their expression immediately hardened, looked at me with a murderous gaze, like they’d already killed one or two people.

If you have any enemies in your family, I apologize, but I don’t think that’s me.

None, huh? Then why’d you do that to me?

No, seriously, why…

I glanced at the judge teacher for help, but they had long left the arena.

The classmates I thought were my friends were outside the stage, praying my life would be spared.

Should I be grateful for at least getting some prayers?

Even now, I want to praise myself for not immediately turning and running out of the arena.

No, but thinking about it now, I probably should’ve just turned and run away.

Pride? What even is that, something you eat?

‘…Uh, um, Princess?’

‘…………’

Despite sending a heartfelt look pleading for just one glance, the person who approached me, whose original opponent I had just chased away, gritted their teeth and swung their sword down.

Bang, bang. A sound so unbelievable, it didn’t seem possible that it was just the sound of wood striking against wood, was born right between us.

Block, dodge, block again.

Where on earth does such amazing strength come from that tiny arms and legs?

The more I blocked, their attack became stronger without end, and I thought maybe it would be easier to just take a hit and lose consciousness right there.

Until I saw the ground denting where my sword met it.

Ah, that’s too much.

How many times did I block?

Crack, a loud sound echoed through our arena.

With a true intent to kill behind the attack, the training sword, at least made of wood, couldn’t withstand the force and shattered like dust.

Countless fragments danced in front of my eyes like petals, and amidst them was the terrifying glint of bloodlust…

I thought it was over as the sword had broken, but no.

Just as I thought the match would end in a draw, she came in close with her half-broken sword and dug it deep into me, leaving the wound currently seen — it was a scene worthy of a horror film.

Her name was, without any doubt, ‘Remi Akaia’.

The target to avoid, now firmly established as the glorious permanent number one.

“Ugh…”

Honestly, if I had to fight again, I’d rather bite my tongue and choose death.

I kept complaining to myself at a volume barely audible to anyone, making sure no one could hear me.

Not even able to speak properly.

Hiiing, this is too much.

Fighting criminals who’ve killed a few people is one thing, but sparring with a princess wielding a mock sword is something far scarier, even if it sounds weird — I hope you understand.

If you had seen that scene live, you’d say what I’m saying, too.

If I brought in a few spectators from that sparring match to tell this story, they’d all nod their heads in furious agreement.

Of course, they’d say that I should compare properly, comforting me with that.

—Thud, thud.

“Aaaah… my whole body feels sore.”

Was it because I was sitting on the stairs where people often passed by?
My pants, which I had unceremoniously sat down in, were now covered with dirt and dust.

After a few seconds of looking at myself, I dusted off my pants and prepared to leave.

Well, it’s all in the past now.

The sparring, the class, my whole day — it’s all over.

It’s all done now.

“…Remi, Akaia.”

With a hint of regret and sympathy, I whispered her name.

To be honest, I didn’t actually dislike her.

…Of course, the strange animosity and the feeling that I was looking at a suspicious person were a bit annoying, but truly, aside from that, I had no personal reason to dislike her.

She never harmed me directly—

She hadn’t done anything wrong to Alice either.

In the story conveyed through Saila, she was merely a kind victim who lost her beloved little sister.

If anything, I wanted to get closer.

Of course, her sister was an exception.

The reason I didn’t mention Alice was because of her sister, ‘Anna Akaia’.

If that weren’t the case, Alice—

“—Haaah.”

I gently twisted my shoulders to ease my stiff body and picked up the mock sword I had leaned against the wall, casually placing it on my shoulder.

Turning the corner, heading straight.

It was the path back to my dorm, now familiar to me.

I took in the fragrant smell of flowers, walking slowly to enjoy the scenery around me as if I were on a stroll.

Although it had only been a few days, it had now completely become a part of my daily life — this unordinary (non)ordinary life.

I thought I’d never get used to that huge commotion, yet I found myself nostalgic for it, giving a bitter smile to myself as I continued my steps toward my intended destination.

So, before I heard that voice, too familiar for me.

That should not be here.

That must not be here.

“—Sia Unnie!!”

“…..Alice…?”

Thud.

My legs, frozen like I had fallen into a swamp, wouldn’t move an inch.

Once my steps had stopped, they wouldn’t continue again.

In the stance I was walking, I didn’t even turn around.

Alice, why are you here?

That question looped endlessly in my mind.

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