The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Crimson blood scent and sharp crash, along with the instability of not even having proper footing.

Like a swarm of moths drawn to light, the zombies surrounding us rushed towards Hee-ah without the slightest delay.

No.

Don’t.

Please, don’t do it.

—Bang, grab!

“—Stop!! Stop it, you bastards!!!”

[“—■■■,■….-!”]

I tried swinging my arms desperately to block their advance.

Yeon and Jeong-eun, having understood the situation, joined me in trying to stop their path.

But the creatures, without casting a glance our way, only fixed their gaze on Hee-ah as they charged.

My frail arms couldn’t stop the tide of zombies crashing in.

“Don’t…. don’t do it….!!”

When I managed to knock one or two down, dozens had already slipped past me, scaling the stairs towards Hee-ah.

Eventually, they reached the glass railing she was holding onto.

I prayed in my heart that the thick glass would protect her.

But, the railing was just a railing.

It had to withstand the weight of so many zombies leaning out, supported only by a tiny sliver of glass and a small piece of iron connecting it to the floor—

—Crash!

“──Ah.”

In the end, it shattered into pieces.

Like snow pouring down, the debris from the railing fell from the air.

The shards of glass that Hee-ah clung to scattered into the void.

“──────”

And through that, a wingless white angel was falling.

With one sharp shard stuck in her arm, the child desperately clung to the watch in her hand despite the horrific pain.

Even as she fell from great heights towards the horde of zombies below, Hee-ah continued to smile at us.

Her last words, distant and unreachable, undoubtedly were calling our names in longing.

Watching all of this unfold before my eyes, I couldn’t muster any action.

Not even holding her hand.

Not even responding to her final words.

Not even easing the pain that she was suffering.

“Ah—”

I couldn’t do anything.

Like I was trapped in ice, my body didn’t move at all as Hee-ah fell through the air.

Only a few meters were left until she fell into the swarm of zombies, frozen in time, I bit my tongue and screamed madly to finally move my right arm.

But still, it wouldn’t move freely.

I stretched it towards Hee-ah who was falling—

—Of course, my hand couldn’t reach her.

“───No!!!”

Bang—!!

I tossed off the blanket covering my body, waking under a familiar ceiling that I had seen many times.

This space was so familiar that I could clearly picture where my desired objects were stored just by closing my eyes.

It was a place I had lived in with everyone for nearly two months; not long ago, it had been a perfect stranger’s home.

Right there, was Hee-ah’s house.

“………”

The setting sun was painting the sky red.

Taking a deep breath to calm my pounding heart, I looked down.

My body, reflected in the sunset, was drenched in sweat and some unknown liquid.

…..

Had I unknowingly fallen asleep?

Yeah, it must have been a dream.

The trap we fell into at the store, where Hee-ah was caught by the zombies…

Such a dreadful and terrifying thing couldn’t possibly happen in reality, could it—

—Tap.

“──Hee-ah?”

I called out her name loudly.

I understood better than anyone that what I’d just recalled was merely a dream, yet I wanted to shake off the ominous premonition that was crushing my heart.

I had to see Hee-ah.

With her usual bright smile, I needed to hold her in my arms.

The distinctive calendar on the wall, the cozy little room, even the family photo that captured Hee-ah’s figure.

This was probably the second-floor room that she used as her own.

The others must be playing downstairs.

Hee-ah would surely be there with them.

Really, do you think so?

….

That’s right.

Surely, she was with the others.

Surely, she would be.

“……..”

But in what was usually a boisterous house, an eerie silence crept in, as not a sound of anyone could be heard.

Even as I thought it must be a false alarm, I called out for Hee-ah with a trembling voice.

But.

The strange dream should have just ended.

“──Hee-ah, where are you?”

For some reason, the nightmare engulfing me felt like it had only just begun.

“Hee-ah.”

With a gulp, I opened another door on the second floor, my heart racing with hope.

An empty room, with objects scattered here and there.

Hee-ah was not there.

Of course not.

“Hee-ah?”

Creek, I turned to open the balcony door.

Only the desolate landscape I had seen many times and a dusty old chair entered my sight.

Hee-ah was not here.

You saw it with your own eyes, didn’t you?

Tap, tap.

“Hee-ah, stop messing around.”

I dashed down the stairs, frantically searching the living room.

The place where we would all gather and play games until the sun went down.

“………”

“………”

Yet there lay Yeon and Jeong-eun, with vacant expressions, lying on the floor.

Despite knowing I had come down, they gazed blankly at the empty space without giving me a glance.

Hee-ah wasn’t there either.

You knew it all along, didn’t you?

You wanted to deny it.

Hee-ah wasn’t anywhere.

Where, then, could she be?

Outside. Yes, she must be outside.

Hee-ah, right before your eyes ──

—Bang.

“….What’s wrong, Jeong-eun.”

“………”

As I continued to call for Hee-ah while wandering the house, Jeong-eun suddenly grabbed my arm, halting my steps.

“……..”

With a lifeless gaze, she held my arm tightly while staring at me.

I screamed.

No, I pleaded.

“Hey, Jeong-eun. What’s wrong? I can’t see Hee-ah.”

“………”

“Hee-ah, where are you? Huh? Jeong-eun. Are you messing around too? I can’t see Hee-ah!! Jeong-eun!!! Where is Hee-ah—!!!!”

It was strange.

I was only asking Jeong-eun where Hee-ah was.

Yet my voice grew louder for some unknown reason, until I was yelling at Jeong-eun.

Yet, normally, Jeong-eun would have snapped back at me for acting like this, but she remained silent, staring at me.

By the time I regained my senses, I found myself kneeling before her, gripping her arm.

No, this wasn’t right.

“Please… tell me….!”

“………”

Tell me what I’m thinking isn’t true.

Just close your eyes and say it’s not true.

“……….”

“Anything will do…… even if it’s a lie… please, just tell me……”

That this was all a nightmare.

That I was still dreaming.

I must not have woken up yet.

Otherwise, the Jeong-eun I knew, the one who would act lively and bravely, wouldn’t be crying before me like this.

Otherwise, the Yeon, who grew bold at times and got angry at us when we joked around, wouldn’t be scratching at her neck with her nails until blood flowed.

Otherwise—

No, it couldn’t be.

Why was everyone staring at me with such broken expressions?

Why were they all looking at me as if something was shattered?

Really.

At this rate, it was as if Hee-ah had────

Died? Is that what it seems?

Red veins, crimson eyes.

The stench of decay and teeth that were missing here and there.

Hee-ah’s neck, her arms, her legs entangled with—

Fingers, teeth, crawling tongues, three eyes, powerful grips.

Long wounds, narrow scars, deep cuts, shallow scratches.

Purple bruises, broken bones, flowing blood.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

Sister, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts….

An unfamiliar child’s scream.

Sobbing, despair, pain, sounds.

Dragging trails, leaving blood marks.

The struggling child is dragged away.

The child is pulled into the darkness, into the darkness she feared.

Look.

You’ve seen it all, haven’t you?

“─────Uweeeek!! Cough, cough…!!”

I vomited.

The reality I couldn’t accept.

The reality that took everything from us.

Wishing that it had all been a dream, that everything was a futile illusion conjured while dying from being bitten by zombies on the first day of school.

I expelled everything inside me.

Hope.

Memories.

I expelled it all.

But the solid ground beneath me was still felt.

A reality so intense that I believed I couldn’t possibly feel it in a dream.

“──W-wha…!! Cough!!”

It was constricting me, squeezing my throat.

The suffocation and disconnection between the wind and reality.

I tried to forget, but the memories I could never truly erase clung to me.

—Swoosh.

“………Ah.”

After recalling everything, I collapsed onto the vomit I had expelled.

And just like that, I lost consciousness.

—

Zombie outbreak, Day 59.

And────Day 41.

Hee-ah is dead.

—

Ah, was this how it was?

I muttered to myself.

Observing their every move, there was something I had always wondered about.

Some would eat until nothing but white bones remained, leaving only cold corpses, and then nonchalantly walk away.

Others left only slight scratches like bite marks before finishing up, leaving casually as if their business was done—an incomprehensible behavior unique to zombies.

What caused the difference between the two?

What lay at the foundation that made the distinction between those two actions?

The ultimate goal of the zombies that existed at the root of all my questions.

Ironically enough, I came to know the answer to that by becoming one of them.

………

“──,───”

Right.

So, that was it.

──It was simply for reproduction.

No, perhaps it would be more fitting to say there could be no more appropriate reason than that.

Reproduction of the species.

Perhaps it’s an act that can be said to be the fundamental goal of all living beings encompassing humans, animals, and plants alike.

They didn’t hunt humans out of a desire to eat or hate.

It was purely to reproduce, to prioritize the attack and infection of humans who had the potential to become zombies.

Well, would it be easier to think of them as having the factors to become zombies?

Values as humans were crushed and suppressed, leaving them with the capacity to be members of the ‘zombie’ horde.

Even without those factors, the existence of humans could be hunted as a bonus, threatening the zombie group.

They could even create mindless zombies to use as ‘pawns’.

Those typical zombies were the ones without the factors, rushing mindlessly at humans to divert attention and thought.

The real ones were these.

They didn’t just die and become zombies.

From the very beginning, they were deciding who to kill and who to appropriately let go, choosing and discerning.

Like sorting out weak chicks from healthy ones.

It was all for the sake of the species’ prosperity.

Set out to expand ‘themselves’.

“──,──ㅇㅣ.”

And fortunately, this time, I was caught in it.

Well.

“ㅓ──,──ㄴ.”

I was glad about that thought.

If any one of them had the potential to become a zombie, regardless of what I did, in the end, everyone would have become zombie targets.

Their prime objective was to turn humans with the potential into zombies.

Well.

If that were the case, I would have endured having my limbs torn off to let them outside.

Though it didn’t flow entirely as intended from beginning to end, I was thankful for how the result had turned out.

It was fortunate.

Yes. Perhaps, I could call it fortunate.

—Creak, crackle!

“─ㅓㄴ,──니.”

Was something crawling inside me?

An unsettling sound echoed as if something unknown were gnawing at my insides repeatedly.

Even now, an unpleasant sensation was trying to penetrate me, aiming to control my body.

Of course, I was suppressing it with my mental strength, but still, it was an uncomfortable feeling.

As time passed, that discomfort only intensified, and who knows, it might one day swallow me whole.

I didn’t want that.

At least when I die, I didn’t want to be a zombie wandering around harming people.

I might have been living a life that only caused trouble to everyone, but being a burden even in death would be too miserable for me.

…

So, since I could still move my body.

As a human, I could stay alive.

Before I completely fell into the same state as them.

—Drop, splat.

“Un—ni────”

I want to move my body one last time.

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