The Gate of Shadows

Chapter 66: The Past



When I came to, I found myself in a free fall, with Melody by my side. Around us were chains of memories that threatened to engulf us if I didn’t control them. I had to organize my thoughts and focus, but the whispers from before made my mind unstable.

Melody held my hand dearly while I struggled to find a place that fit this scenario. Drawing my free hand forward, I tried to picture the perfect place to do research.

After all, this is all for an investigation.

Perhaps if I told myself that, I would come out unshaken by the things I would relive. Before we knew it, we were on solid ground, and bookshelves erupted from the ground surrounding us. Unable to contain herself, Melody scoured her surroundings, not quite believing where we were or not knowing where or when we were.

She jumped into this world without a clue yet refused to let go of my hand even though she was visibly startled.

"Where are we?" she questioned.

Our surroundings had become a library of books containing all the memories I had lived through. Once I could focus enough, my subconscious chose a place I was familiar with.

Besides the room, that place is my secondary cage, where I spend most of my time.

"How poetic," I sighed.

"Lilith, why are we here?" she asked, ears tilted back.

The black space probably didn’t help, but she would soon understand why we were here.

"Because I need to know what Stella knew about your curse and Fenris," I answered, attempting to move forward, yet she forced my gaze onto her with a sharp tug of my hand.

"Stella, as in the monster that did this to you, we can’t!" Melody growled loudly.

I could see how she felt, but it was a useless emotion in this matter.

"Yes, and we do. It’s the only way." I answered, burying my emotions deep down within me.

This wasn’t the time to let them get the best of me, mainly because of how unstable the entire spell was. I could see glitches around us as white fractures formed around us.

Any little thing can go wrong. We can’t linger here for long.

"No, you can’t do this. It’ll only hurt you." Melody huffed, eyes full of concern.

"It doesn’t matter. I relieve most of these horrors every night, anyway." I assured her, but she was almost like an unmovable boulder.

Lycans...

My words made her desire to want to convince me otherwise more robust.

"Lilith!" she growled, trying to sway me, but there was nothing to grab hold of.

My resolve was unmovable.

"Everything that you’ll see already happened. There’s no point in feeling anything over it." I sighed, not wanting to waste any more time.

This is why you should’ve waited outside.

With the spell as unstable as it was, it could collapse at any moment. Everything would've been for nothing if I hadn’t found what I wanted before it broke.

"Lilith, that isn’t right!" Melody huffed, gripping me tighter.

I already made up my mind: I must save you and Fenris. Nothing will change that, not even if you cry or hate me after.

"If I want to free you. There’s no other option since your curse isn’t an easy fix. You’ve had it since before you were born, and it was probably your parent's burden that was placed on you. I find it rather unfair for you to live with their mistakes." I informed her while leaving out any mentions of an eternal witch.

The curse was older than a simple generation; no, it was ancient, yet part of me still wished to deny that.

"Lilith..." she mumbled.

This time, I didn’t feel like entertaining her any further, and luckily, this was my world, so only my rules applied.

"Let’s go. The spell only works for a few hours, and we have much to cover." I shut her worries down, yanking her along into the library.

Even though I didn’t know what memory of the information I had, I did have relatively good guesses on where to begin. However, I had to avoid any memories that would make me unstable.

That dream… is a big no. Melody, you should’ve stayed outside.

Having my anchor next to me was not ideal, but it would have to do. Picking the first book out of the pile, it transported us to a time before my mother died. I played on the floor while she hummed a song, knitting a scarf.

This would be the first time I ever saw Stella's grimoire, but it would also be the day that would change my fate forever. We were passengers, only to watch everything that was about to unfold.

"Is that your mother?" the black Lycan asked, glancing at the woman rocking in her chair.

A younger me drew butterflies on the wooden floor with chalk.

"Yes..." I whispered, feeling bittersweet.

I had forgotten her face, but she was clearer than ever in this memory. There wasn’t an ounce of her beautifully curvy golden hair and blue eyes on me. My brown hair and eyes came from my father, something my grandmother loved to remind me of.

"She’s beautiful," Melody commented, in awe of my mother.

"Yes, she was. I had forgotten her completely." I simpered, shifting my eyes towards the door.

Her grip on my hand grew tighter when sounds erupted from outside. I knew full well what was coming next. Screaming erupted from the halls, causing my mother to yell at me and scoop me up in her arms. Before we knew it, the door slammed open, revealing a Cerberus officer coming to inspect the room.

"Lilith... is this when..." Melody gasped, unable to finish her sentence.

Unlike her, I silently watched the events unfold. The officer pushed my mother, who was holding me in her arms, aside, tripping her to fall onto the floor. I scraped my head with a desk near where we fell.

The moment my mother saw the blood flow down my head, her fragile sanity was lost. Setting me down next to her, she grabbed a pair of scissors that were on the table before jabbing the Lycan officer in the throat when he searched under the bed, killing him instantly.

No amount of healing could save a wolf from losing his jugular vein or artery. Covered in blood, she turned to me, smiling, promising to keep me before kissing me on my head and running out of the room. All I could do was stand up, trying to chase after her.

The first thing I saw were the victims she had attacked before she was caught by another Lycan, who crushed her throat. I could feel Melody's hand tremble with rage, trying her best not to lose it.

"Horrid! How could they do that to an unstable woman?! She only had a scissor as a weapon!" her voice quivered.

However, in her path, she killed another Lycan, who was unsuspecting and harmed a human officer.

I don’t blame them for killing her after she hurt them, but I wish they had approached it differently. If that man hadn’t pushed her, she’d be…

A soft sigh left me when I saw Stella standing there with her eyes wide open. Tears ran down her cheeks before screaming at the top of her lungs. Her screech echoed throughout the hall, alerting every sister about what had happened, triggering chaos to break, but the Lycans quickly quelled it.

When everything was set and done, she dragged me out of the room I had hidden in after I witnessed my mother die.

“You pathetic coward! This is all your fault!” the elderly woman shrieked, dragging me by my hair. “If it weren’t for you! She would still be here!”

A second later, she threw me against a wall, tossing books at my face, “The only thing in your mind should be to avenge your mother! You hear me!? Now memorize everything in these pages!”

This was probably the first time she tried to fill me with hate, just like she was. In her hurry to leave, she had forgotten her grimoire was in the books she gave me. Taking a few steps towards my younger self, who sobbed loudly, seemed surreal. However, I tried to bury any emotion I might have felt.

Instead, I focused on the goal, which was to gather information. The young me, who could barely see through the tears, slowly went for a book, picking her grimoire from the bunch before going from page to page. With a quick spell, I copied everything I saw in the book into a book back in the real world.

Luckily, it was a minor one that could be cast, even in the dream realm that we found ourselves in. After falling asleep, Shade brought an empty notebook for the incantation to take hold of. Thankfully, my wound was still bleeding in our reality for the sacrifice needed.

Once I was done, I headed for the door, only for Melody to stop me from continuing.

"We can’t leave her like this." She shifted her eyes to the younger me.

Her nature was so pure that everything she was about to see would probably change her.

I sighed, shaking my head. "This already happened. You can’t change it, no matter how much you wish," I reminded her, pulling her along unwillingly.

"But..." She pressed her lips before squinting.

She grew quieter with every memory we went through, allowing me to focus on gathering information. The violence I experienced was something that she could never fathom, and it was chipping at her core.

Yet she never let go of my hand, even as we dove deeper into the memories before the fall.


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