The Gate of Shadows

After that day, Fenris became colder and more calculated toward everyone around him. However, every day in our room, Fenris would hold me until satisfied; even as the years passed, that never changed.

Was it to make me depend on him or something else? I didn’t know.

This wolf shared little with me, and it wasn’t like he had before, but I knew he was holding more back. Before, he would tell me about his day, but recently, he never got into it, and while outside of this room, he completely ignored my existence.

I wouldn't know if it was to please others or because he was insecure about me. I never approached him either, and it didn’t help that Layla stuck to him like glue. Perhaps it was to please her, but he also showed little interest in her.

Often, he would be spotted pushing her away. By the time I was twenty-three, I got used to things. Fenris was being groomed to be the new leader of Cerberus while I spent my time secretly studying to close the gate within myself.

My goal was to free Fenris from his servitude to me.

It doesn't matter if my head rolls after the gate is no more. Part of me wants it. No, I wish for it. Sadly, I haven’t gotten any closer to my answer in all these years.

The gate merged with my soul, making it inseparable. The only way was to destroy the gate itself, but that was impossible for someone like me, and my limited resources only worsened my chances. Although, I was sure the order had its people trying to get it out of me, too.

For Fenris's sake, I had to find a way, and even if it seemed like a dead end, I refused to give up. Most of the time, I would be at the library, even though it reminded me of the incident with the two witches.

The information I need is on these bookshelves. All I have to do is find it.

The library contained millions of different grimoires and research. Yet I never spent too much time in there. Even when I tried to mind my business, eyes would always fall on me. When that happened, I knew it was time to leave.

Especially when the usual nasty whispers around me erupted into an uproar. They were worse than the demons inside my head. Closing the book I had, I headed to place it away. That was when Cora, a vampire who had been trying to befriend me for the past half-year, came towards me to surprise me.

Instead of having the desired effect she was looking for, I walked away from her as if she had done nothing at all. I tried not to get close to anyone, but she relentlessly tried to interact with me. No matter how many walls I tried to place between us, she would smash right through them every time.

Grabbing onto my arm, she prevented my usual escape.

"Hey! Wait a minute!" Cora struggled to keep me in her presence.

"I’m sorry, but I have to go." I smiled, attempting to tug away with no success.

She grunted, hating my fake attempt for a grin.

Too forced, she calls them.

"No, Lilith! Don’t do that! Your pretty face doesn’t deserve that." She squealed, tightening her grip on my hand.

I sighed, gazing away from her.

You never give up. Unrelentless…

Yet she was the only one who tried to get to know me.

"If you aren’t letting go of me, hurry and tell me what you want. I really am busy." I gave in a little.

Why can't you leave me alone?

Any social interaction was useless for me.

"Not fair. You’re always busy! When can you spend time with me?!" Cora whined, pouting.

The sigh train continued.

"Fine, let’s just go somewhere else," I suggested.

The stares of disapproval were stacked on us, turning the atmosphere heavy. Luckily, those would be my last words before she squealed, dragging me down the halls. My legs could barely keep up with her, gliding on the floor.

Shade struggled to hold on to my dress while we swiftly moved through the building until we reached the entrance. Even though we had been far from the ground floor, we somehow ended up there in a few minutes.

I hesitated to step outside, knowing I couldn’t leave the premises unguarded and without permission.

When was the last time I came out of my cage? Has it been six years already?

The vampire warily gazed around to see who would witness our escape.

"Cora, I don’t know about this." I tried withdrawing my hand from her, but she kept pulling me along.

"It’s fine! I have the perfect place in mind, too!" she beamed.

Before I knew it, I was outside, feeling the sun's warmth hit my pale skin. It reminded me of when Fenris yanked me out of the alley and into the sunlight.

Ah… I can’t remember the last time I felt the sun on my face.

Taking a breath of fresh air to fill my lungs, a soft hum left me before I spotted Fenris, Liam, Ezra, and Owen sitting at a table. They were all enjoying the warmth the day brought and eating lunch, unaware of us as they were deep into conversation.

They were a rowdy bunch.

I haven’t seen them together since…

"Ah! Man, I can’t get a break! These girls break up with me like I’m nothing!" Owen complained, face planted on the table in defeat.

Much to his dismay, his friends laughed at his troubles.

"Maybe it’s because you’re too laid back and don’t clean after yourself. Modern girls aren’t looking to be maids, you know." Fenris smiled.

I hadn’t seen him have fun like that all the time he was with me.

Owen shot back at him. "Well, excuse me! Not all of us are future leaders here! All the Lycan girls love you! Poor Layla will have to chase them away after the festival!" the yellow-haired wolf defended himself.

Fenris flinched back, much like he had stuck his nose somewhere he didn’t want to go into.

"That’s right! You have to marry her after the blood moon. What are you turning now, twenty-five? Man, how time flies. Have you gotten any action in before Layla ties you down?" Ezra nudged Fenris, catching him off guard.

A soft smile rose on my lips, seeing him like that.

"W-What are you t-talking about?" my wolf answered with a question.

So... You also stutters when caught by surprise. How cute…

"He probably has little time to deal with ladies. After all, he has to care for his charge." Liam tried to defend Fenris's honor, but Ezra had no off button like always.

The grey wolf wanted a definite answer from his future alpha.

"Fuck that! I want to know how many ladies you’ve done the deed with. Set an example for us to follow! Oh, dearest future alpha." Ezra snickered, enjoying having the upper hand on Fenris.

The silver wolf narrowed his eyes as his smile vanished.

"I don’t know how that concerns you." He countered with a slight growl.

"Man, that makes me feel like you’re a virgin! At this rate, you must try it before you get married in a month! Layla’s pretty and all, but isn't it boring to have the same?" Ezra pressed on, rolling his eyes.

In an instant, my wolf’s cheeks turned bright pink. He…

"Geez, you just won’t drop it! I have already! Leave me alone!" Fenris’s cheeks turned redder with every moment that passed.

They were such close friends to tease each other like this.

What could have been if I had never destroyed…

Owen jumped into the conversation. "Oh? With whom? How many? Man, I’ve had like ten." He commented with a sly smirk on his lips.

Liam studied his friend’s reactions, leaning closer to the silver wolf.

"It doesn’t matter with who and just one if you must know. Just change the topic already." Fenris answered, flushing his cheeks.

Just one...

My heart skipped a beat when those words left his lips.

Does that mean you were pure when you did it with me? But that would mean it was your first time. Wait… Was I your first?

I could feel my cheeks wanting to fall off, trying to soothe my racing heart. Cora appeared annoyed at the boys, who were too loud with their banter. The wolf who owned my heart captivated me, rendering my legs useless.

"Just one?! Impossible!" Ezra snorted.

Fenris glared at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Ezra pointed towards him. "You need more than just one! Man, you don’t know what’s good for you! How long have you been with this girl?" He scoffed.

Fenris’s eyes twitched, growling deeper than before. "I only need one! I'm not willing to whore myself out like you! Why the fuck does that matter how long I’ve been with my girl? I’ve held her for nine years, and I still feel the same every day for her as I did when I first started!”

It was the first time I had seen someone get under his skin. His eyes were giving off a light hue, too.

“Maybe there’s something wrong with you?! Who the fuck needs to lay with so many girls?!" The silver wolf huffed; cheeks were red as a tomato when he realized what he said.

The rest of the boys appeared to be shocked, too. However, Liam, as cunning as always, finally spoke up.

"Oh? Nine years, and you never mentioned it to me? Is this a love triangle I’m sensing?" the brown wolf commented calmly.

Though his tone could’ve cut through anyone, Fenris had lost his cool, struggling to form the correct words before he glanced down at the table in defeat.

"Arg... Men are so nasty. Should we show them how wrong they are with our future love?" Cora suggested, shifting my gaze onto her.

My heart wasn’t keeping up with anything anymore, affecting my mind.

"What?" I mumbled.

She suddenly yanked me towards her, holding onto my hips.

"Hey, men! This is how it’s done!" Cora shouted, catching not just the boys' attention but everyone around.

Once all eyes were on us, she pulled me into a kiss, leaving me stunned. After the brief brush of our lips, she swiftly picked me up in her arms before shifting her eyes towards the silver wolf, whose eyes shone brighter.