The First Mage

There could’ve been many reasons for the worry on Aelene’s face, but her mana seemed the most likely culprit, as I couldn’t think of a reason why she would deliberately concentrate it in her abdomen. Before anyone spoke a word, a series of theories was already running through my head for what was going on. I frowned as my head first and foremost came back to the issue of Awakened having issues with their mana. It wasn’t supposed to be a smooth experience.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked.

The way my eyes darted back and forth made it obvious what I was looking at. “So you’re seeing it too,” she said, her grimace intensifying. “Is that good or bad?”

“Well, I suppose that depends.”

I stood up and approached her to take a closer look. To my knowledge, we hadn’t encountered a case where we Sourcerers couldn’t see mana yet. The visibility seemed tied to the mana flowing through us, and our eyes in particular. If I hadn’t seen it, it would mean she’s imagining it. On the other hand, seeing it meant this was real, and something was happening to her.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“I’m fine... I think... but it won’t go away. Is this what you were talking about? Is this a sign that something’s wrong with me?”

With pleading eyes she begged me to tell her that her fears were wrong, but this had been my first instinct as well. Though I couldn’t say for sure.

“Honestly... I don’t know,” I said. “Is anything different from before this happened?”

“Before? Not really...”

“And you can’t control this at all?”

“No...”

Aelene appeared to be on the verge of crying. She was able to have fun with scripts, but uncertain situations scared her, and while we were doing our best, quite a few things about this field were still up in the air. Under this light it might have been better had I not told her about the possibility that we might all die from awakening, but there was nothing I could do about that now that it was out.

“Don’t worry,” I said, easing my expression, to appear less concerned. “As long as you don’t feel ill in some way, we shouldn’t assume that you’re in danger. We’ll figure this out.”

My attempt to soothe her seemed to be well received, her eyes clearing up slightly, but I didn’t think that she actually believed me.

“Uhm, Tomar? What’s wrong?” Hayla suddenly asked from the other side of the room.

“Something unusual is going on with Aelene’s mana,” I said, glancing back at her. “We’ll go to the clinic. See you later.”

Hayla looked back at me knowingly. “I see. Okay,” she said before going back to work.

I wordlessly walked past Aelene, and exited the office, listening to her footsteps following me, which Bren’s added to the mix a moment later, while Brie stayed behind.

What’s another strange thing in a sea of crap, right? The moment I think at least our mana isn’t a threat to us, something happens. Because of course it does. There is no peace of mind to be had in this world. Good job, me.

I walked along the same hallways I saw every day, rounded the same corners, and nodded to the same priests in greeting. Somehow my life was a mix of the most boring monotony imaginable and constantly being on edge because lives were at risk.

God, I’m starting to fucking hate the temple.

Moving relatively quickly, we had almost reached the stairway when I was suddenly spun around by my shoulder, staring up at Aelene in confusion.

“Tomar!” she said, her voice raised.

“Huh?”

She glared at me, somewhat irritated. “Didn’t you hear me?”

“Oh. Sorry, guess I zoned out. What did you say?”

“I... I asked why you’re taking me to go to the clinic. What are the doctors supposed to do about this?”

“Right, I probably should’ve explained that. Shadi should be there. The healer, you know? I figured this must be right up her alley.”

“Oh, you found her?”

“Hm, hm.”

It was a little weird that she kind of disappeared after her ritual, and even more so that Reurig couldn’t find her at first, but we had let her go, and she was allowed to do whatever she wanted. She still had to get a job though, and after we knew where she was, we invited her to come work at the clinic once more, with today being her first day.

“Okay, that makes sense,” she said.

The second she let go of my shoulder, I turned around and was about to climb down the stairs, when she spun me back around again.

What now...

“Hey... Are you okay?” Aelene asked.

My eyes widened slightly as I averted my gaze to think. Nobody had asked me this in a while when I was in such a mood. I was usually annoyed by it, but at that moment I felt a bit of relief over someone worrying about me, and I realized my behavior might have seemed strange. I was trying to go through the motions of attempting to solve yet another issue, and had just expected her to follow me.

“Yea... Just a lot of problems at once right now. But I’m fine, and we’ll figure out this one. I actually have a lot more hopes for this than some of the others,” I said with a wry smile.

“You’re overexerting yourself... Where is Lilly? Didn’t you tell me she did most of the work?”

Nope, Tomar must’ve told you that... While Lilana was nothing but a vessel...

“She is... still outside town, doing research on the threats waiting beyond the walls. That’s more important. And Hayla is helping me now, so everything is fine.”

“It’s clearly not! You’re an entirely different person since Lilly left you alone with this, and it’s getting worse by the day!”

She really cared about Tomar... That would’ve been good for him...

“Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I can’t change anything about it right now. I need to keep going until at least a few of these problems are resolved.”

What would you have me do? Leave town?

“Screw this town then! You can just leave!”

I had looked around a bit aimlessly, trying to get this conversation behind me, but now snapped back to full attention, utterly perplexed by her statement.

“Well... that’s obviously not an option.”

I briefly glanced at Bren, standing a couple meters away, doing his best to appear like none of this concerned him—ever the dutiful guard. Though I didn’t want any Fighters to think that this thought might cross my mind, regardless of whether it did or not. It was also good that the third floor of the temple was sparsely populated, and the chances for someone to hear us was very low. Aelene seemed less worried about this, however.

“Why not?” she asked, bewildered. “You kept raving about the Wildlands, and that you just came back because the king and the High Priest were after you guys. It’s great that you want to help others, but not at the cost of your own well-being! Let Lilly do this stupid job! Or Hayla! Even if the king came back to power, I doubt he would try to come after you anymore.”

“Maybe not. But I’m not done yet. I have to go on.”

It was Tomar’s dream for the world to become a better place, and even though it wasn’t going great right now, I hadn’t thought even once about abandoning that hope.

I just have to make it one more week... in one week the most critical issues will either be solved or I’ll be dead... Either way, that will be the end of all this turmoil.

I started walking for a third time, and when she went for my shoulder again I shook her off.

“Let’s go, please. We need to look into this before anything else happens that requires my attention.”

While Bren immediately walked after me, it took a few seconds until I heard Aelene follow suit. It wasn’t until this point that I remembered her reluctance to move around the temple, but I thought that she might be doing better after having been here again twice.

We walked on in silence until we arrived at the clinic a few minutes later. The door open, I strolled right in and was greeted by rows of empty beds, while Nym and Shadi sat at the workstation on the farside of the room.

“Hey,” I said, raising my arm slightly when they turned around.

“Tomar. Good afternoon,” Nym said, looking at me expectantly, waiting to hear what I was there for.

Shadi nodded as our eyes met, though she immediately looked away, in the direction of the person coming in behind me. Her expression changing to one of curiosity, she stood up and walked in our direction to meet us halfway.

Nym followed her lead, having noticed that something had piqued Shadi’s interest. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“‘Wrong’ might be the wrong word,” Shadi responded.

She seemed to understand why we were here and went right up to Aelene. “Hi, I’m Shadi. You have a bit of a situation going on here, don’t you?”

“I guess so... the mana just appeared earlier and it won’t go away.”

“Go away?” Shadi asked in confusion, until she started giggling. “Oh, I suppose you don’t know what this means. You’re expecting.”

“I’m... what?”

“Congratulations,” Shadi continued.

I stood to the side as she led Aelene to sit on a bed, the blood draining from my face.