Chapter 105: Embroiderer (27)
In the past year, the emperor's health was much worse than before. He had been sick for more than a month in a row. During the day, he coughed and felt dizzy. At night, his heart was palpitating and sweating, and it was difficult to fall asleep. After he finally fell asleep, he would have a lot of nightmares. Although he could not remember what happened in the dream after waking up, the empty and depressed feeling would stop in his heart for a long time.
His hair was much grey, and his handsome face was wrinkled with age. Facing his children and concubines around him, he somehow felt a little impatient and even bored. He liked to be alone more and more. Only the letter from the eldest prince he raised could make him a little happier.
That person was also in Lin'an, but the eldest prince didn't mention a single word about her in the letter. The emperor looked through the thick pile of letters, again and again, searched word by word, but he got nothing. He had thought that the eldest prince would come back at the end of the year and spend the Spring Festival with him, but he didn't expect that he would meet the enemy and almost die at the bottom of the sea.
When the emperor received the report of the war, his mind was blank and he could not think of anything. When he came to his senses, all the people of the court had already knelt down, and he had unwittingly written down the imperial edict to go to Lin'an. It was not until now that he let out a sigh of relief as if he could do nothing about it.
Half a month later, accompanied by Du Rusong and his sister, he went to the Taoist temple and quietly looked at the person standing on the edge of the cliff with his back to him.
"You're here." the woman said three words indifferently. A whistling wind blew up from the bottom of the cliff, blowing her words into pieces. She didn't kneel down or greet him. She just looked at the dark clouds in the distance and didn't know what she was thinking.
"Here I am." the emperor opened his mouth and found that his voice was so dry as if he had tried his best to squeeze out this sentence. Until now, he still remembered that the woman's tearful eyes and the bloody scars crisscrossed on her forehead before she left. Their love was just like those scars, painful and deep, but could never be restored.
"It's going to rain." the emperor didn't know what to say to her, so he could only say casually.
"Yes, it's going to rain." Empress Du finally turned around and looked at them.
Even Du Rusong and Du Ruyan had been used to this rebirth after Nirvana these days, they couldn't help but be stunned, not to mention the emperor and his confidants who were unprepared.
The guards were stunned and gasped. The emperor took a step back and seemed to be unable to bear it. Then he took a few steps forward and shouted hoarsely, "Fan……Fange?"
A gust of strong wind with water vapor blew up from the bottom of the cliff, stirring the hem of Empress Du's pure black clothes. The hem of her clothes reflected the dark clouds behind her, like waves, or like some ominous sign. Empress Du glanced at the emperor indifferently, turned around, and looked into the distance. A burning manjusaka blossomed between her eyebrows. It was enchanting, but her eyes were like a bottomless pool, without any emotion. She lost a lot of weight. Her robe, which was too wide, gently flew over her body, as if it had integrated with the rolling and endless darkness behind her.
In the past, she was so beautiful and flamboyant, but now she was more beautiful than before, but she had lost her burning temperature. Looking at her dark and cold eyes, the emperor felt a sudden and indescribable pain in his heart.
"Is that you, Fange?" he asked again, unable to take his eyes off her lonely figure.
"Come here. The cliff is dangerous." seeing another gust of strong wind blowing the hem of Empress Du's clothes, the emperor's heart almost stopped beating. In a trance, he thought with cold sweat: If Fange takes a step forward, will she disappear in this boundless black cloud forever?
Empress Du ignored him.
The emperor wanted to step forward, but he was afraid of frightening her, so he changed the topic. "I'm here to ask why you did that. We have been together for more than 20 years, why can't you trust me?"
Empress Du finally turned around and said word by word, "This is also what I want to ask you. Why can't you believe me?" she looked at the dark sky again and her voice was erratic: "Do you know that twenty years ago, to save you from the pool of cold water, I was completely injured and could never get pregnant again. I was worried that you would feel guilty and self-reproach, so I asked the imperial physician to keep this secret. When the eldest prince lost his mother at an early age, I raised him myself. The fourth prince, the sixth prince, as long as your child lost his mother, all of them were raised by me? I knew I couldn't conceive, If I really want to raise a child of my own, why do I have to wait for twenty years to bring the Miss Li into the palace? For so many years, I have been in charge of the palaces and raising children for you, and I have been on the verge of life and almost died for you several times. For you, I can risk my life, but in return? Do you know, as long as you, believe me, I will tell you the secret? I hit the pillar, I went on a hunger strike, I stood in front of the gate of the cold palace and waited for you day and night, but I waited for a useless imperial edict, so I didn't want to say anything. Forget it, that's it… "
When telling all this, Empress Du's tone was very calm, as if she was telling someone else's story. She chuckled and said indifferently, "It's raining. Your majesty should go back."
It was boring, really boring… She shook her head and smiled quietly, as if she had buried the past, leaving only debris.
It was the first time that the emperor had heard of this, and his heart seemed to be cut by a sharp blade, which was unbearable. He said in disbelief, "Twenty years ago, you knew you were infertile? I… I didn't know." Twenty years ago, he was forced to jump into a cold pool to escape because of being assassinated, but he was unable to swim ashore because of cramps in his hands and feet. Empress Du rushed to save him with her guards and jumped into the cold water under the condition that everyone gave up on him, saving him from drowning in the pool. Since then, Empress Du was extremely afraid of cold and stayed by the furnace every winter, unwilling to move. When she got her period, it would be painful to death.
He thought she had suffered for him, but he didn't expect her to lose her most precious thing. Looking at her beautiful but cold face, the emperor was at a loss.
The raindrops fell, wetting everyone's clothes and Empress Du's face. The fiery red manjusaka made her as bright as the sun, but it made her eyes even colder. She took a last look at the emperor and left with mud. The emperor stood still, not knowing whether it was rain or tears on his face.
Du Rusong and Du Ruyan bowed to each other silently and disappeared into the rain.
After a long time, the emperor came to his senses and staggered towards the Taoist temple. He pounded the door of the quiet room hard, but there was no response. He called the name of Empress Du again and again, but only the cold wind was whistling in his ears.
Winter had already passed, but the weather was so cold that it was bone-chilling.
—
After returning to the temporary residence, the emperor called the imperial physician who had served him for more than 20 years over and asked, "Can't Empress Du have a baby?"
The imperial physician knelt down in fear. "Yes, to save the emperor, Empress Du was injured and could not get pregnant from now on. At that time, Your Majesty was in danger. You could not bear any stimulation, so Empress Du ordered me to hide it. I'm sorry, your majesty. Please forgive me."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" The emperor wiped off the censer on the table and roared hysterically. No wonder Empress Du treated every child as her own and patiently taught them. It turned out that she had long known that she would never have a chance to be a mother in her life. She raised several princes herself and had a deep relationship with them. Why did she have to kill Miss Li? The one in Miss Li's belly was still unknown whether it was a prince or a princess What's the use of killing Miss Li? It had been twenty years. If she wanted to raise a child, why did she have to wait until now?
The biggest crime of Empress Du being relegated was the murder of the emperor's son. The emperor once believed in it, and then was disheartened with Empress Du. But now, his heart seemed to be tightly wrapped in a fire, burning, painful, and unbearable.
That night, the emperor fell ill, but on the second day, he forced himself to go to the Taoist temple and wanted to see Empress Du. Empress Du stayed at home and didn't want to see him.
On the third day, he still went to the Taoist temple and couldn't see Empress Du; on the fourth day, the fifth day… Seven days in a row, he was so sick that he couldn't even get out of bed. His originally thin face sank at a visible speed, mixed with much silver hair gradually stained with white.
On the ninth day, he had a high fever and fell into a coma.
The eldest prince was kneeling in the waiting room of Empress Du. It was not until midnight that the door, which had been closed for a long time, finally opened. The stunning but cold Empress Du looked down at him with unspeakable deep eyes.
—
The emperor had a nightmare again. He found himself soaked in a pool of cold water, surrounded by water weeds and bottomless darkness. The piercing cold made his hands and feet stiff and unable to escape. He soon could not breathe, but he saw a familiar figure quickly swimming towards him in despair. The one pushed away from the water weeds, revealing a beautiful face, and opened his mouth. The breath of life entered his mouth. He held her tightly, as if holding a beam of light in the darkness, or as if holding fire in the boundless cold.
Despair and anxiety instantly went away from him
"Fange!" he suddenly opened his eyes, only to find that the man he had been dreaming of was really lying on the edge of his bed, holding his hand tightly with one hand, as if he had been taken care of every time he was sick before, and he had never left for a moment.
"Fange!" at this moment, the emperor, with tears all over his face, had to admit that he couldn't let go of this woman, nor could he watch her walk away and take her as a passer-by.