LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 13 – Dangerous Words
Chapter 13
CW:
“Ugh!” Chelsea was quickly rubbing herself off like there was dirt on her. I stared at her, tentatively trying to understand what was wrong. “There was a James in that place!” She made a gagging motion as the car started to move away from the ice cream shop. My eyes shot open in surprise.
Oh shark! Smelling other clans, how could I forget about that!?
“I’m not surprised you didn’t smell it,” she said looking at me. “That was the most turned Turned I’ve ever smelt. Couldn’t be further from a James’ pureblood.” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “Still a James though.”
My mind was working overtime. What did this mean for Hazel? “Chelsea,” I said slowly. She turned back toward me, interest written across her face. “Why would there be a James’ in Hudson territory?” I tried to pose the question like I was genuinely interested in the topic rather than what she was going to do about it. I prayed it worked.
She studied me for a second then seemed to disassociate in thought. “It’s not wholly unusual. Many of those who aren’t close to their bloodline simply leave. It’s not like we hold people hostage!” She laughed. I inwardly rolled my eyes higher than I physically could. “Though,” she continued, “Maybe I should look deeper into the matter considering the recent issues. Good job Isabelle!” She reached over and put her hand comfortably on top of my own. I tried to fake the happiest smile I could, but I was distraught. Suddenly, Chelsea’s face contorted in anger.
“Something’s wrong. You feel deeply saddened by what I just said. Why?”
“Oh, uh, I’m uh,” I racked my brain with something plausible, finally, a lightbulb went off. “I, uh, I really don’t like the idea of torture or murder.” This time, it wasn’t hard to fake the frown that took over my face. I wore my emotions outwardly, letting her see my true feelings.
Her face softened again. “Oh Isabelle!” She rubbed my hand softly and unclipped her seatbelt. “Come here,” she said softly, “give me a hug and let me talk to you closely.”
I felt an urge tug at me to follow what she said. I didn’t try to fight it this time because I genuinely did need a hug right now. Today was just too much.
She wrapped me in a firm, tight hug. I hugged back and buried my face into her shoulder, blocking out all of the light around me. She started to rub my back in circles. We stayed like that for a moment or two in silence. The soft hum of the vehicle calmed me down slightly, while I hoped that she would just drop the James clan threat.
“Look, sweety,” she pulled back from the hug to look me in my face. “I know this world is new to you, but I need you to understand that death, among other things. is a large part of it.” My breathing stalled. “Hey, hey, hey,” she said worriedly. She pulled me back into the hug.
“I just mean death as a concept!” she spoke quickly. “Life is eternal for vampires,” she spoke into my back while the hug continued. “Generations rise and fall quickly around us. You’ll outlive people you knew in your human life tenfold. Life for the Turned tends to be shorter than the Pures’ but both are still relatively long. As for the person in the ice cream shop, I’m sure it doesn’t matter too much, so I’ll just have a detail installed nearby to keep an eye on things.” I felt myself relax as she spoke. Hazel was going to be ok! She needed to be warned about the detail, but ok.
“Thanks,” I looked up at her and she had a slight caring smile. I felt genuine warmth for a second. I still couldn’t be sure if it was my own, but I was happy with the situation. “Thanks, uh, mom?”
She chuckled. “Glad to hear acceptance, even if it’s unsure acceptance as my child, but you don’t have to call me ‘mom’ if you don’t want to or it makes you feel weird. We look more like sisters, but I’m still your vampire mother!” She pulled me into a tighter hug. “Look,” she pulled away slightly to look at me. “I know this is all hard and I’m not the greatest person. I’ve done things that humans would jail me for. Bloodbonds are rare and considering how rare you are, I may have been overzealous. I’m not asking for forgiveness and I have no idea how you see me, but I know it can’t be in a great light. I’m tired of pushing my children away. All I want is trust,” she looked down saddened, “but I just can’t seem to learn how to earn it.”
This was the first time in our whole relationship that I actually felt genuine feelings that I knew were my own. There was empathy there. For Chelsea. Not forced. I could tell the difference. Forced feelings felt foreign or uncertain, this was normal. It was how I felt before I turned. Maybe I could use this to learn when Chelsea was manipulating me. Regardless, I looked at Chelsea.
“I’m not the type to forgive so easily and you’ve certainly hurt me. Even today was just too much,” I started to tear up slightly. “But, I’m glad you can see that the course you’ve been on has been an awful one.”
She nodded solemnly. “I know. I come off as scary because I’ve had to be for the last 150 so odd years. People don’t exactly take you seriously in this world if you’re too kind. Some of these people have been alive since before modern civilizations. They’re ruthless. That’s the only world I know.”
Little bits of understanding started to frame my perception of Chelsea. She wasn’t redeemed by any since, but I could see how she somewhat came to be. “I get it, uh, kinda. But to me, this is all new. My life has been monumentally boring up until I met you and Tory. I was a human before I was ever a vampire, so that means life means a lot to me. It’s,” I paused, stumbling on my words, “It’s fleeting.”
“I can’t say I fully understand because I can’t,” she looked sad and stressed. “Maybe,” she paused looking down. She looked so– human right now. “Maybe, we can just have a casual day tomorrow. No training, no harsh words, no bloodbond. Just us. And Tory if you want. But I want to earn your love. Not demand it,” she smiled softly.
I considered it. She was such an enigma. Earlier she seemed like a determined dance mom who lived vicariously through her daughter, now she seemed more like she was genuinely trying to care about me. With how much she’s been manipulating me, I couldn’t tell what was even real anymore.
I took a deep breath, severely unsure if this was the right decision, “Ok. I’m fine with that.”
She lit up like a kid on Christmas day.
“Oh, yay! I’m glad! I can’t even begin to express it!” She beamed. She reached around me and held me until we got home.
***
Alone in my room, I fished out the hidden burner phone. Flipping the ancient tech open, I clicked on the only available number. I smiled to myself, glad that I had a connection to Hazel.
Messages:
212-555-5555: Hi
I held my breath waiting for a response. Minutes went by with nothing. I closed my eyes and flopped onto my plush bed, groaning in annoyance. I tried to relax and looked out my window. It really was a gorgeous view. A second later, the phone started buzzing. I picked it up and looked at it cautiously. It continued buzzing, clearly indicating that it was ringing.
Oh god! I need to make sure that no one hears me.
I quickly walked over to the bathroom and locked the door. Flipping the phone open to stop the buzzing, I held it up to my ear. I fake coughed heavily so that Hazel couldn’t talk, then turned the shower on.
“Hello?” I whispered, sitting down on the closed toilet seat. I was met by giggling.
“While I appreciate the cautious actions, it’s not that serious,” Hazel laughed. I was annoyed and knitted my brows.
“What do you mean? Can’t they hear better than us? We’re all vampires.”
“Well, yeah, but it’s more like active hearing that you have to turn on. It’s really fucking annoying to hear everything so the only time anyone does it is if they’re trying to be sneaky or eavesdrop.”
“Well isn’t that more of a reason to be cautious then?!” Her static laugh came through the old style phone speaker.
“If you want girl, but don’t worry to much. You’ll be paranoid.”
“Well,” I paused and fiddled with my hands, “maybe you’d react the same way if you’d had the last few days I’ve had.” There was silence. I could tell the tone of the conversation had shifted.
“What do you mean?”
I rehashed the entire events of the past couple days. The terrifying encounter with Chelsea and Tory, the gaslighting, the training, and how Chelsea knows about her existence at the ice cream shop.
“Ok, well that sucks,” Hazel sounded like she was thinking. I could only imagine she was making the same thinking face she made when she was younger. I giggled slightly, hoping she would hear me.
“What!? What are you laughing about?”
“Um, it’s just I figured you were making the same face you used to. You know, the one where you stick out your lips and touch your nose with them. It makes you look hilarious.” I heard her gasp.
“Hey! Don’t make fun of my thinking face!” She laughed on the other end, understanding it was an absurd way to concentrate. I laughed a little harder.
“Anyway, what do you think about the C situation? Can I trust her?”
“Hm. I’d say no, generally. She’s a vicious leader. That’s the well known truth. All Pures are. Don’t write her off entirely. I know it can be hard to understand your own emotions with her having the ability to both change them and use them to manipulate you, but she could be useful. Maybe,” I could almost hear the smile through the phone, “manipulate her back.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s clear she wants some sort of connection with you right?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Good. You said all of her kids have left her except one and that this is a touchy subject right?
“Yeah,” I could vaguely see the plan forming.
“Simple. You give her what she wants, but, and here's the kicker, use her trust to find out everything you can about her. Everything you can about this world. Use her, for your own gain, like she seems to be doing to you.” I liked the idea of getting back at Chelsea, but something was nagging at me.
“Why though? Like what do I gain out of this information?”
“Trust me, Isabelle. You said it yourself. You’re new to this world. Information is everything. Not everyone has direct access to their pure, but you're practically her dame. You’re practically a Pure yourself.” That kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
“But, I still don’t understand. What does having this information do for me? All I want is normalcy again,” I whined.
“Look, Isabelle. Normal is gone. It’s not coming back. You had good parents. Major emphasis on ‘had.’ They’re going to live short meaningless lives all while you’ll still look like you’re in your twenties for the rest of eternity or until something kills you.” I frowned at her nihilism
“That may be your reality, but I haven’t accepted that yet.”
“But you’ll have to one way or the other. Use her, Isabelle. It could be great for us!”
“Us? Is the only reason you want me to get information on her is because you want to use it for your own gain? Are you even trustworthy Hazel? Like what the heck!” I was getting angry. I expected to talk to the Hazel I remember. Not this chess player. I could feel the steam rising out of the shower and taking over the room.
“You can choose whatever you want Isabelle. I’m not going to make you do anything. You don’t want to tell me fine,” she spat the words. “But, you should remember who holds the keys to your collar and who can offer you a way out. I’ve known you forever, but you have no idea what I’ve been through since I last saw you! I had to change to survive. To fucking survive. Little miss prim princess would have no idea. None!” She yelled the words. I had to pull the phone away from my ear. The steam was getting thick now as it rose throughout the large bathroom.
“Whatever. Maybe this was a mistake, calling you. You could be the whole reason the whole Hudson clan is freaking out, you-you-you James!” I was pissed, so I said her clan name like the insult it was.
“You shut your dirty mouth. I didn’t go through fucking conversion therapy, live with my shitty father, and become a fucking vampire to deal with your shitty excuse for an insult. Sure, whoopty-due. I’m a fucking James. Sure. Say it like it’s gross. The whole clan system is fucking gross. Fuck you, Isabelle. Send me a message when you’ve come to your senses or get the fuck out of my life.” The call ended with a click.
I groaned and tightened my muscles, furious with the conversation. The whole room felt like a sauna. I needed to get out of my clothes. I threw them off my body and set the phone down. I didn’t know how to react to the whole thing and just wanted to scream.
I stepped into the shower and closed the door. I didn’t want to stand right now and sat down, letting the steaming hot water flow over my body. My thoughts started to ramble.
I knew she was moving, but was that why she moved? Conversion therapy? Her parents weren’t great but that?
I was still pissed, but the hot water helped calm me down. I closed my eyes and rolled my neck around. My hair was gathering in front of my face blocking my vision so I scooped it all up and threw it over to sit on my back. The little water droplets flung up to hit the ceiling and started to drip. I watched them and stared, still reeling with how to approach talking to her in the future.
I felt gross at stooping to the level of trying to use her clan as an insult. I wasn’t like that. I shouldn’t have been like that. I slapped my hands to my face, splattering water to the walls. I just hoped that we could come to an understanding soon, because I felt sorry already. Still annoyed and in no way ready to apologize because she was trying to use me for her own gain, but still sorry.
***
After drying my hair, I pulled on some casual clothes and walked out into the living room. It didn’t seem like anyone was there so I turned on the TV and started a Netflix show. I killed the whole day, binging, until Tory came home.
The elevator ding announced her arrival. “Sup sis!” She shouted as she turned the corner of the wall blocking the elevator from the living room. “Watch anything interesting?” She slumped into the couch beside me. I shook my head.
“Not really. I had a long day.”
“I heard,” she exaggerated her words while looking at me. “Chels really put you through the ringer didn’t she? She put you with Nek first?”
“Yeah, the man pulled a gun on me!” I opened my eyes wide to emphasize my surprise at it and waved my hands.
Tory laughed. “Of course he did. It’s his whole schtick. Confuse and abuse. That’s his motto, I swear.”
I giggled. “Yeah, it didn’t last long though after he lost track of me immediately.” Tory perked up and sat in a way that she could look at me. She was clearly interested in what I had to say.
“What do you mean he lost track of you?”
“The whole world seemed to slow down after I went to one of those block thingies, so I moved to another one. He seemed surprised and ended the session.” I shrugged.
She looked at me with wide eyes. “The world did what?”
“Um, slowed down?” Her mouth dropped open.
“No wonder Chels wanted to turn you! That’s freaking amazing! I’ve never heard of anyone who could do that though! Huh, you really are special aren’t you Belle?”
“I guess? I didn’t know that wasn’t normal under stress.”
She shook her head quickly. “No, it is definitely not normal. Not at all. Anyway, down to watch a series together?”
“Uh, sure,” I was surprised at her willingness to change the subject. “What you thinking?”
“Ooh! How about a romance? I’ve been so bored today and could use a change in pace. You down?” I hadn’t really seen a lot of romances before, so I couldn’t say I had too much criticism for the genre.
“Uh, sure. Why not?”
“Great! I’ll make the popcorn. Chels might not be back for a bit. She came by the diner and then said she had leader stuff to do.” I nodded as she got up to go start the popcorn. I returned my focus to the screen and started swiping through to look for something we could agree on.
***
The rest of the night went by quickly.We settled on a detective romance series and binged through it. Once it was close to midnight, Tory pulled out some left over blood bags and mxed them in with wine. It was absolutely divine!
We stayed up until about 3 AM then both crashed on the couch. Sleeping was weird. I didn’t exactly need to sleep anymore, but the day had drained me. We were both still a little drunk when the elevator finally dinged open around 8 AM.
“Morning sleepy heads! I see you both had a good night,” Chelsea was entirely too chipper for my pounding head.
“Oh, hey,” I grumbled, flipping over and throwing the blanket off of me. Tory mumbled in her sleep and kicked out. “Ow,” I lightly pushed her off of me, annoyed at the action.
“Glad to see you two are getting along,” Chelsea smiled then put her bag on the kitchen island. She opened the fridge and pulled out two small red bags filled with blood.
My eyes opened a little from their sleepy drunk recovery state.
“Want some?” She waved the small bag out tantalizingly. I nodded quickly and pushed Tory’s remaining blanketed feet off of me, resulting in a groan from her. I brushed my hair behind me as I stood up, rubbing the sleep out of my eye.
I yawned as I sat down at one of the bar stools. She took a mug out from the cupboard then flipped the contents of the blood bag into it. She opened the fridge again and pulled out some cold brew and threw that in as well.
“Here. That should help you wake up,” she smiled as she pushed the mug over to me and started making the same thing for herself.
“Mhm,” the noise just came out of me as I took my first sip. “Thank you.”
“No problem,” she answered.
We sat in silence for a minute until Tory finally sat up. “Ugh, you were just gonna leave me without a good wake up? I expect it from Chels, but from you Belle,” she feigned shock, “I’m hurt.”
“Wah-wah, get up here then! It was your idea to drink,” I said mockingly. She laughed slightly.
“Well, maybe, but that’s no reason to forget about your big sis,” she joked as she wrapped me in a hug.
I was still iffy on the whole situation, but regardless of how Tory’s treated me, she’s felt the most genuine. Drugging me and hurting me aside, it didn’t really feel like…well, her. Her casual jokes and fun, eccentric personality felt more like her, than the ruthlessness she showed sometimes. I wondered if this was my fate laid out before me. Become ruthless but still maintain some semblance of humanity.
“Belle and I were gonna have a girl’s day today, Tory. I just wanted to let you know where we’ll be,” Chelsea said through sips of her blood infused coffee.
“Does that mean I’m not invited?” Tory looked at me, clearly saddened by the prospect of not being there. I looked back and took a sip out of the mug. I didn’t know how to answer yet. Chelsea seemed to pause to let me speak.
“Well, Chelsea said it was up to me, so, uh, I don’t see why you can’t come,” I softly smiled, but stared into my cup. Hands clasped around me and made me almost spill everything.
“Oh yay! I’m glad I can come!!! I love spending time with you Belle!” She shouted entirely too loud for a day after drinking. “It’s been too long with just me and Chels,” she whispered in my ear.
My eyes went wide. I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant. Too long of just her and Chels? Like she was lonely or something more? I’d have to figure that out.
“Well, great!” Chelsea clapped her hands together. “I’m gonna get out of this get up,” she motioned to her business wear, “and take a shower real quick. You two get ready and we’ll all head out together. Sound good?”
We both nodded our heads. Chelsea got up and took her mug with her, walking up the stairs.
The rest of the morning was calm while both Tory and I chatted. Eventually we separated to go get ready.
We all reconvened in the living room sporting three distinct styles. Chelsea wore her normal goth persona, with flowy black garments, while Tory wore her normal bubbly persona, with a sweater and large oversized jeans. I was the mix of the two. I looked like I stepped out of a mixing machine. I had the same flowy black top style that Chelsea had, then had a similar set of jeans like Tory’s. It looked like an outfit I remembered girls at my college used to wear to go out drinking, so that’s why I picked it. I didn’t intend to be a mix of my new family, but that’s how they took it. Cooing over my decision excitedly.
After a second or so of talking about the plan, which consisted of shopping, normal food, nails, blood bank, then dinner with drinks, we set out.
