Chapter 44 Statement
After a long walk, we arrived at a plain. I see a very poorly built wooden cabin, it looks like it's about to fall apart.
'The person who built this doesn't have an ounce of skill,' I think to myself, thankfully not voicing it out loud.
"I built this cabin when I was surviving. I found out this area has a powerful hibernating monster, so other monsters stay away. We can get some resources that are still inside," Uriel says to me as he points to the house.
"I-I understand, s-so you built it hahaha," I laugh nervously while thanking him for not saying out loud that he lacks skill.
He chuckles while looking at me.
"Don't worry, I know it's poorly made," he says, as if he knew what I was thinking.
"You express what you're thinking very easily," he says, seeing the surprised look on my face that he guessed my thoughts.
"Let's go," he calls me as we enter. It's just as bad on the inside as it is on the outside. I see Uriel has a nostalgic look.
"Is this place...special to you?" I ask him calmly as I observe.
"Yes... after I survived and came back, I realized I had a certain attachment to this place. And when I had become strong, sometimes I would come to this cabin to pass the time, sometimes I just wanted to be away from that political turmoil."
"Ironic, isn't it? I feel calmer in this monster-infested forest than in a peaceful hall full of nobles who hate me," he says in a playful tone, then opens a compartment in the floor.
"I made this passage when I got stronger. I keep some things here and thought it would be good to get some of them," he descends through the floor passage and I follow him.
"Wow... incredible..." Underneath the earth, it's completely different the walls are reinforced with some kind of steel, and the floor is metal. In the room, there are various things, from magical stones to items and even a bit of treasure.
"This forest is dangerous, so hardly anyone comes here. And since this cabin is in such poor condition, if someone saw it, they wouldn't notice this passage. Inside, I've stored some things I considered special," he says in a nostalgic tone.
"Many of these things have great sentimental value... they were things from my adventures... and some companions..." He speaks in a sad tone.
"What happened to them..." I ask carefully.
"They died, all of them... I live a dangerous life, and they all knew they could die, but they still decided to accompany me... We had great adventures, but in the end, all good things come to an end. They were killed in the war."
"Even though I'm a hero, I can't save everyone. That's an undeniable truth. In the end, I'm still just a human." His tone is somewhat self-deprecating, making it clear how others view him.
To the people, Uriel is more like a weapon or a tool. To them, Uriel is someone who has the obligation to protect them, even though Uriel didn't choose this life. In a way, it's sad.
He had no control over his own life his life was entirely based on being a hero until the day he dies.
"Well, enough talk of sad things. My companions wanted me to be happy. Being sad about it would go against their wish," he says as he starts to pick up some items and put them in his inventory.
"You can take whatever you want, Ayla, but unfortunately, there's not much you'd be able to use..."
I look around, and as he said, most of the things are things I wouldn't even be able to hold.
"I don't think I'll take anything, Uriel."
Soon, Aetheris takes a jewel and hands it to me.
"What is this?" I ask doubtfully, and Uriel responds.
"Ah... yes... I forgot this was here. This was a jewel that the former Saint used before she died. This jewel amplifies healing magic and holy magic. You can keep it. I'm sure the Saint would also want this jewel to be used."
"If you eat it, the effect will activate and become permanent. The former Saint didn't eat it because she said it wasn't necessary."
I soon decide to eat it. I can't use magic now, but it may be useful in the future. I put it in my mouth and swallow, and nothing seems different.
"Is that it?"
"Hahaha, yes, I was fooled by this kind of thing many times too. You expect something incredible, like a feeling of more power or a cool effect, but usually, there's no noticeable change."
"..." We soon leave the cabin. I don't know what he took, but I don't need to know if he took it, it must be useful.
"U-Uriel..." There's something that's been bothering me since the encounter with the wolves.
"Yes?" He speaks as we walk, never losing focus on the environment, showing his experience.
"Do you think I'm disgusting?" He freezes when I ask this.
"What do you mean, Ayla?" He asks, confused.
"W-Well... w-while I was in the castle..." I start to tell him everything that happened to me in the castle. As I speak, tears fall and my heart aches. I don't want to remember this, but my heart is restless about what Uriel thinks of me.
"..." After telling him everything, from the first time I was raped, to the moment he found me with Fenrir, I recounted the painful moments I went through in Valac's garden. I told him about the terrible things that happened to me during my time in that place.
"..." Silence falls as I close my eyes, my mind in turmoil.
'Ah... I-I made a mistake. Why did I tell him this? I'm sure he thinks I'm disgusting now, or that I'm just a lewd whore.' Telling him all this makes my heart ache, but I want him to know. It's not fair for him to not know the kind of person he's saving.
"..." The silence is unsettling. Soon, he walks up to me...
He gives me a hug, surprising me.
"U-Uriel?"
"Ayla, I've already told you, you're not to blame for anything. I don't think you're disgusting or repulsive. I've already said, you're perfect just the way you are. The only ones to blame are those damned people who did this to you."
My heart wants to believe what he's saying, but my mind denies it as just the kindness of a hero.
"You're only saying that because you're a hero, right?" I ask, my heart full of doubt. This doubt is painful. I don't want to imagine Uriel hating me and only pretending to care.
"No, Ayla, I'm saying this because it's you," he says to me in an honest tone.
"...H-How do I know you really don't hate me and are just maintaining your position as a hero? How could you really care for someone like me? Why would you care about me?"
"I'm not doing this just because I'm a hero. I'm doing it because..." He doesn't finish.
"I-I knew it... you're really just saving me because it's your duty..." The doubt is a terrible thing. Once it takes root and grows, it becomes a problem that's difficult to uproot.
"No, Ayla, it's not for that reason..."
"LIAR!" I interrupt him. I've become very emotional lately, but I've never had a place to release these emotions before, so they've just been accumulating, and now they're exploding.
"You probably don't even care. Hahaha, who would care for a damn kidnapped princess who only serves as a sexual object?" I devalue myself. It's painful, but it's the truth.
"Why would you care? If it wasn't just to maintain your reputation as a hero, you probably wouldn't even care," my doubt made me say illogical things, after all, he came to save me, throwing away that position.
"No, Ayla, it's not for that reason... it's just that..." He hesitates, which is a cue for my doubts to take over.
"I knew it, you can't even give a reason, of course, the mistake was mine... I deluded myself, I was foolish to be happy to be saved. I was so desperate that I simply sank into this illusion."
"I thought you would see me as special, as more than an object to vent your lust, but of course you don't really care, after all, I'm just a weak and useless princess who can't do anything on my own."
"How could I think you would see me as more than a burden? Even I don't like myself. My dirty body, my weak mind, my weak status, a false life, how could you like that? I just wanted to die..."
My tone is highly self-deprecating. When I say this, he holds me tightly.
"Never say that again, Ayla," his tone is serious.
"I love you," what he says shocks me. Something I never imagined him saying, but that I've always desired to hear over the past week.
"Huh?"
"I love you. I've always loved you since we were children, but I was too weak to protect you, too weak to go against the nobles to confess. And my insecurity lasted until you were kidnapped."
"When I heard the news that you were kidnapped, my world seemed to crumble. I just wanted to run straight to those bastards and save you, but I couldn't. This damned hero's duty are the chains that bind me so much."
"I couldn't even confess. I worked hard for you, did my best as a hero to have a chance to ask for your hand. If I finally made an impossible contribution, the nobles would have to accept me."
"I've planned to confess to you since I was a child. I trained hard, worked hard, and clung to my life in difficult moments, with you as my guide. In the moment I almost died in this forest, what prevented me from giving up was you the image of you in my mind always appeared in difficult moments, giving me strength."
"I wanted to see you, to tell you how much I love you, I wanted to be able to fulfill the dream of being with you. That's why I persisted, almost died again and again and again, but every time, you were my hope to continue."
"I've always loved you, Ayla, but I never had the courage to tell you how much I love you. Confessing to you was always harder than killing any monster. I wasn't good with words and feared ruining everything."
"And that's why I saved you, Ayla. I love you, and I would never see you as disgusting for what happened. As I said, you can put your hopes in me... just as I put my hope in you."
"...L-Lie..." I can't believe what I'm hearing. Uriel loves me? He's always loved me? Hearing this makes my heart skip a beat, but I can't believe it. My unhappy life full of suffering can't believe in this happiness.
"I'll prove it to you, Ayla. I love you," he says as he kisses me.