LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 38
“Was Lady Eliya playing around with something?!”
“…….”
My head hurts.
Really. I feel dizzy….
“That’s not it….”
“I-it’s not that…! So you really mean that you and the lady are seriously…!”
“Ugh, seriously! No! Shut your mouth! What if someone hears us?!”
Richard pointed in shock.
“You, you! Telling me to shut up?! What kind of talk is that? This is a full-blown rebellion, you know?!”
“If someone mishears this, we’ll get arrested for noble slander! Is that what’s important right now?!”
“You really care about that?”
“…….”
“So, do you have a preference for older women or not? Just say it.”
“Is that really important right now?!”
For a moment, the image of the adult Eliya flashed in my mind.
Not too tall, not too short; just the right height.
If I had to choose, she’s slightly taller than average.
Long, straight legs.
Fair and smooth skin.
Looking down with a blank expression.
Red lips.
Curving black hair and body….
…What’s happening? Have I finally lost my mind?
Is it these guys that are messing with my head right now?
According to Judas’s age standard, it’s true that she is older. Yes, that’s right….
‘Why am I thinking about this?!’
I scratched my head in frustration and replied.
“Ah, for heaven’s sake, I don’t know anything about that! It’s something I’ve never even thought about!”
“Hmm….”
That means I’ve never really thought about romantic interests.
It’s not just a simple excuse coming from Judas’s age.
Embarrassingly enough, it’s the truth.
Since middle school, I’ve only done judo.
In my life, I’ve only had contact with the opposite sex in terms of throwing around and grappling.
At that time, there was no romance or heart fluttering.
My heart had its own swell.
From exhaustion.
I do have experience of my face turning red.
Because if I choke someone, blood doesn’t circulate.
When I really got into sports, there was no chance to spar with girls, and since then, I’ve only focused on judo.
“Yeah, well… that can happen, hmm….”
“What do you think you’re talking about…? You shouldn’t expect any cookies in the future.”
“What?!”
Five people, including Richard, all widened their eyes in unison.
Among them, Argon was the first to throw himself to the ground.
“I’m sorry! I was wrong-!”
Following that, the rest fell on the ground like they were in line for punishment.
“I won’t do it again!”
“I’m really sorryaaah-!”
I sighed as I looked down at them yelling at the top of their lungs.
‘Now that I see it, these kids in our room are on the older side.’
It is indeed that age.
…Even though I spent that time focused solely on sports. But I can understand.
“Judas… I-I’m really sorry… I made a mistake… we were short-sighted…”
“Anyone would think you were doing confession with how serious you are. Stop it and get up.”
“Then, what about the cookies…?”
“I was just joking. But do you all really act like I’m your personal organizer?”
“Hmm.”
As Richard cleared his throat and stood up, he asked indirectly one last time.
“…So, that means you don’t have a preference for older women, right?”
“……”
This punk… why is he so obsessed with older women?
Instead of answering, I just gave him a narrow-eyed glare.
Richard turned his head and started humming as if nothing had happened.
*
“What happened?”
We returned to where Hermis was.
She looked at my face and asked with concern.
“Excuse me?”
“Your face has turned red. Your expression is also stiff compared to before you left. Are you being bullied?”
“No, no. That’s not it.”
I quickly waved my hands.
“It’s just that, um….”
Hermis and I usually head into the forest together.
Unwanted thoughts kept nagging at the back of my mind.
“Ah, you’re getting redder.”
“N-no, really, I’m fine. I just had a… heated discussion with some colleagues about various things… the household guidelines…. And I’m not the kind of person who gets bullied.”
“Well, that is true.”
I got into the carriage with Hermis.
She always sits across from me.
It used to always be Anna sitting there.
These days, we leave the mansion together with Anna and Hermis, but on the way back, it’s only Hermis.
We’ve had plenty of light chats, but I’ve realized I don’t know Hermis’s age.
“May I ask how old you are?”
“I’m 17.”
By this world’s standards, that’s just before adulthood.
The coming-of-age ceremony is at 18.
“I must have become the youngest knight in this continent.”
There was pride in her tone.
I genuinely admired and praised her.
“You’re amazing.”
“That’s why the lady chose me, isn’t it?”
“Oh. She said she selected you herself?”
“Yes. Among several candidates for the position of guarding Judas, she筛 selected me at the end. There weren’t many volunteers, but that doesn’t mean I lack competitiveness.”
“You mean there were few volunteers?”
I wanted to hear more, and it seems those knights despise me.
I somewhat knew that.
I’ve picked up rumors along the way.
I’m just some random guy who suddenly appeared and settled in a grand noble’s mansion, or something like that.
‘Crazy people everywhere….’
By the way, Eliya personally selected me, huh?
I thought she would’ve just left it to others to handle.
…Well, I’m a little grateful.
For some reason, the image of the adult Eliya came to mind again.
‘Get out of my head….’
It’s because of those guys.
Richard, Argon, those other idiots!
“Oh, your face is turning red.”
I opened the window without a word.
The cold wind touching my face feels icy.
More than usual.
It’s not because my face is hot, absolutely.
*
“… That’s all.”
Hermis finished her report to Eliya.
It was her duty to report any peculiarities during the time spent with Judas.
“Well… Balak Duke….”
Eliya slowly blinked.
Her expression was deep in thought.
Hermis felt a strange sense of pressure.
Though a small and young girl, she fit the presence of a ruler perfectly.
…Except for the stuffed cat in her arms.
“Shylock, Gaston, Dalant. The three of them, huh?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“And Shylock wasn’t fond of this from the beginning and decided to side with Judas.”
“While there were some excessive methods of subduing and interrogating, that was the outcome.”
“And you asked Hermis to act as if you were following Balak’s orders?”
“Yes.”
Having confirmed the facts, Eliya nodded.
Although there was some autonomy on Hermis’s part, there was nothing to reprimand.
Such ability was more than acceptable while protecting Judas.
“Bring that Shylock.”
It’s quite a distance from Eliya’s mansion to the training ground.
He can’t simply be called over immediately, but Eliya decided to wait gladly.
A servant hurriedly left.
Eliya quietly observed Hermis.
Standing still before her without any commands, waiting.
A model of a knight with order and discipline.
She’s also quite capable.
I’ve heard she lightly subdued Shylock, who is also a knight.
Choosing Hermis to protect Judas is indeed the best decision.
‘I already knew…’
As she watched, a memory suddenly surged up.
The two people whose faces had been close.
An area she still hadn’t reached.
‘What is this…’
Defining feelings is not easy.
No academic discipline has accurately classified and organized human emotions.
‘This is…’
She vaguely defined this strange discomfort as possessiveness.
It was a hypothesis that seemed very plausible.
She was extremely sensitive when someone touched her belongings.
She once had a similar experience.
In the time after her mother’s funeral, when she was dragged to her family home.
She had several possessions left behind by her mother.
Clothes that were too shabby and simple for a noble.
Or the bear plush that she often carried around.
Once, Balak’s fourth child, Aghan, hid that bear.
During that time, Eliya wandered endlessly around the vast family estate.
Even when the moon rose.
She hadn’t eaten, was hungry, and couldn’t sleep, feeling tormented all over.
Then she collapsed.
Just lay there.
Incapable of moving.
It felt as if all the blood had drained from her entire body.
Her limbs kept trembling.
Ever since her mother’s belongings had been taken away.
Until Narcissi found her to scold her, she helplessly curled up.
Though countless thoughts raced through her mind about setting the mansion ablaze, in reality, she was weak.
A leftover part of her life.
Her body and mind were disgustingly weak back then.
Naturally, after regaining her senses, she took her revenge.
She shoved Aghan’s precious ornate model sword into the horse dung pit.
Once, Sara, the fifth beast born from Balak and Narcissi, tore apart the dress her mother had given her.
She returned that favor.
She burned all of Sara’s jewelry and accessories in the incinerator, turning them to ash and dumped them on Sara’s sleeping face and cut the precious dress to shreds and turned it into a toy for the guard dogs.
Anyway.
The discomfort she feels now is strangely similar to that time.
The feeling of someone else meddling with her belongings.
A feeling of her territory being invaded.
A flickering flame waves within her heart.
Like a match flame born in the cosmos, it is small.
The crazy seed of fire that has appeared after a long time whispers.
Just get rid of…
“The scarf looks great on you.”
Hermis said.
Facing Eliya, who stared at her without blinking for some time, she casually.
“……”
Eliya cautiously pulled the scarf up to her nose.
It smells pleasant.
Her heart calms down.
She speaks in a deliberately haughty manner.
“… You have a good eye for items.”
“Thank you.”
Hermis smiled brightly.
The light compliment, thrown to break the quiet atmosphere, was effective.
Given she always wears it, it seems to be a favorite scarf of hers.
Though it’s a bit large for a scarf.
Hermis was unaware of the fact that it was a gift from Judas on her birthday.
“I’ve brought Shylock.”
The attendant said from outside.
“Let him in.”
“You called for me.”
Shylock smiled pleasantly and bowed.
Eliya smiled lightly.
‘He’s pretty good at wearing a mask.’
It was her first real encounter.
She didn’t even know Shylock was in the training ground.
However, Eliya immediately recognized his face as a mask.
Since she too wore a mask, having seen various masks before, she could tell.
It was an intuition developed from experience.
Eliya decided to skip any needless exchanges or hints.
With a mask like this, it’s an unnecessary process.
Straight to the point.
“You’re working under the duke’s orders.”
Shylock changed his mask.
Still, a slightly smiling face.
But there was guilt evident in his somewhat shriveled expression.
“I’m sorry to say, but that’s correct.”
“Since when?”
“I swore loyalty to Duke Balak from the time of my appointment.”
“But I hear that’s not the case anymore starting today.”
The witness of that, Hermis, stood right beside them.
She unconsciously gulped.
She never expected he’d be so direct.
“I’m sorry, but I felt that as a human, it’s something I shouldn’t do at all.”
“Why?”
“To do such a thing to a child is something I can’t bear….”
“I’ve yet to even call him a child.”
“I assumed the noble young lady is already aware of it and addressed it that way. I apologize.”
“Well, that’s quite a progressive value you have there. The discrimination based on age and maturity level is something that has only recently started to be discussed among scholars.”
“I’m still inexperienced but living with interests in various studies. Not as much as you, my lady, though.”
“So, you broke the code of chivalry because of that? Ignoring the matter of providing for your family as well?”
“…….”
Eliya took the opportunity to strike.
There were circumstances Hermis and Shylock hadn’t mentioned.
His family.
Hit the nail right on the head.
Shylock, who had been smoothly answering, suddenly closed his mouth.
An awkward silence fell.
He became rigid, as if stabbed by a spear.
It was an easy deduction for Eliya.
She had recently gone through the process of picking trustworthy people.
The two key elements that mattered back then.
Skill and loyalty.
Skill was something you could see with your own eyes.
Loyalty was different.
It wasn’t something that revealed itself.
Thus, Eliya focused on the grounds for loyalty.
The more materialistic, the better.
Abstract values like honor or gratitude are utterly useless.
Money. Revenge. Family. Lovers.
The simpler it is, the more solid the motivators for loyalty.
Like Hermis, who cares about her distant relatives.
Shylock and Hermis.
Both of them became tense.
The little girl in front of them was a noble sharper than the rumors.
“Let’s summarize. You received orders from the duke. Your target is Judas. But you defied those orders because they contradicted your values, violating the code of chivalry, and chose not to target Judas, even ignoring the matter of supporting your family. I don’t think that all of this is true.”
Eliya continued.
“Then, what’s false? Your defection? That’s not it. If that were the case, you wouldn’t be standing before me like this. You’ve certainly decided to go against the duke’s orders. That much is clear. Your lie is one: the excuse about your values. Then, why did you have to fabricate such a lie?”
The wicked woman chuckled.
“It’s likely because Judas resolved your family’s support issue. It’s suicidal to defy the duke simply because the problem was solved for you and you accrued a debt to Judas.”
“…….”
There was another possibility.
If Hermis had helped resolve his family issues.
But she chose not to mention it.
If that was the case, Hermis would have told her beforehand.
“Hermis.”
Eliya leaned back in her chair after pausing her words.
With ease and generosity.
The demeanor of a ruler shone through.
Hermis, nervous, took a moment to respond.
“… Yes, my lady.”
“This is your last chance. Everything you’ve hidden from me, say it all.”
*
Hermis swallowed hard.
She had to admit it.
She had been complacent.
She concealed too many parts to hide the information about the information guild.
And Eliya had accurately read the hidden portions of the story.
Because she hid it, it had become useful information in a bizarre way.
She had somewhat underestimated Eliya.
As a member of the information guild, she had done numerous espionage activities.
She’d met many smart individuals.
Undoubtedly, none of them were as sharp and intimidating as Eliya.
It wasn’t merely about deductive ability.
She had a knack for piercing through others’ intentions, uncovering emotions, and shaking the atmosphere.
It was genuinely a monstrous ability.
It wasn’t just a simple talent.
It was the result of desperately mastering survival while being trained at her family home, studying diligently to bring down the Bevel family.
“To tell the truth….”
Hermis confessed.
Of course, she omitted everything concerning the information guild.
She reluctantly revealed a little about Judas’s actions.
The only silver lining was that Eliya reacted promptly whenever stories about Judas emerged.
She focused particularly when it related to Judas.
“… It turns out that Lord Judas has been staying in a village near the front lines. He recalled the treatment concerning Sir Shylock’s family from there and came up with an idea.”
Eliya had not known that detail.
Yet, she couldn’t let it show.
She listened calmly, as if she had known all along.
She assumed Hermis would bring up this much about Judas.
Eliya contemplated.
‘The village near the front lines….’
A place where Judas had supposedly spent time.
‘Something I don’t know….’
Hermis knew the background that was kept from her.
Someone who spent more time with Judas than she did….
‘Why am I even thinking about this? It’s not a crucial matter.’
Eliya recalibrated her priorities.
‘Anyway, the gaps in the story have been filled.’
She divined the concealed parts Hermis had been hiding.
Judas swayed Shylock using the information he gathered from the knights and the information she had known.
In this act, Hermis had asked him to act as a double agent.
Since Shylock had owed a debt, he agreed.
Still, Hermis didn’t reveal everything.
She kept a few minor secrets.
However, there were no logical flaws.
Eliya had no choice but to trust her.
The fact that Hermis was a member of the information guild and that Judas had first sought out and utilized that guild was something she wouldn’t logically think of.
While pursuing their secrets, in the end, the fundamental situation had not changed.
Shylock—who was under Balak’s orders.
His disobedience.
Everything remained the same.
The only thing added was Judas’s actions and clues.
Though a minor detail, it was considerable information for Eliya.
The testimony that Judas had resided in a village near the front lines.
The whereabouts of the Judas she had been pursuing came to a halt near those front lines.
It was too much to pursue further than that for now, but she had gained a meaningful lead.
Her curiosity only grew.
Who on earth was Judas?
Where did he come from?
In truth, she didn’t need to know Judas’s origins.
At first, she was merely intrigued to dig deeper, and the more she learned, the more she wanted to understand, now she knows it’s meaningless, yet she can’t help but be curious.
Eliya wrapped up her thoughts.
There were more important things at stake.
The trio that Balak sent to the training ground.
‘Shylock, Gaston, Dalant.’
She knew none of them.
Their identities weren’t significant.
What mattered was Balak’s actions.
‘Why is he making it so complicated?’
The target is Judas.
What he’s doing is nothing more than rumors, ostracizing, and a bit of violence.
Judas isn’t the type to yield.
Balak isn’t the sort either to indulge in such childishness.
Killing or sparing.
The choice has to be extreme and swift.
Given what she knew of Balak, he’d undoubtedly have to kill Judas.
That method shouldn’t be difficult for Balak.
‘……’
Thinking about Judas’s death made her frown without realizing it.
She shook her head, trying to push those feelings aside.
She regained focus.
On Balak’s suspicious demeanor.
While Judas was the target, no. Eliya denied that.
The true purpose ought to be something else entirely.
That was her speculation.
Balak would bear a grudge against her.
However, what that was remained unclear for now.
What is he planning to do in her training ground?
There was a useful phrase in front of her.
“Sir Shylock.”
“… Yes, my lady.”
“I understand now that you’re not on Balak’s side. That you’re not my enemy either.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll take responsibility for your family.”
Since he turned his back on Balak, she would keep an eye on them.
At the same time, the security of his family would now depend on her.
It was a threat, comfort, and a proposal.
To work for her.
Shylock merely lowered his head.
“… I’m honored.”
“Hermis, too. I look forward to working with you going forward.”
Eliya said, smiling.
Hermis had no choice but to bow her head in return.
“I’ll do my best.”
*
The time still remained effective to care for the Moon Deer every evening.
And Eliya comes as often as she can.
Sometimes when busy, I might come alone.
And whenever I arrive at the stable where the Moon Deer stays, inevitably….
“Oh, hey. Oh my goodness, so good. Oh yes.”
The Moon Deer bolts out and nuzzles up against me.
Ever since I came back after the first exam, it’s always been like this.
Bradley said it was really anxious back then.
Perhaps it misunderstood that I would abandon it.
So, every time I come, I’m more affectionate and pet it even more than before.
“Oh, so good. Yes, yes, you’re so excited. Yes, I’m also….”
But, sometimes, the excitement is a bit much.
It licks my face so often that I can’t get a word out.
‘It’s like a puppy…. A ridiculously big puppy.’
It may be excessive, but I feel good with such a warm welcome.
I thought it was enough to be cute.
I vigorously scratched the Moon Deer’s neck and back.
“Oh, that feels nice. Yes, yes. Right there.”
Any slobber can just be wiped off later.
The stable keeper, Bradley, chuckled.
“That little guy has been lively ever since you’ve returned.”
“Yeah, right. I can’t leave for too long.”
“That means it follows you closely. …Oh, my lady. You’ve come.”
Bradley set down the water bucket and greeted me.
I turned back.
‘Looks like Eliya is less busy today.’
Eliya was standing at the entrance of the stable.
She stood still and quietly.
She was gazing intently at me.
It feels awkward to greet her, like she’s obsessively staring.
‘…Is she looking at me or the Moon Deer?’
While the Moon Deer cluelessly keeps licking me.
One can’t expect manners from a beast, so I pushed it away with my hand.
I pushed it, but it just clung closer.
Eliya walked toward me in silence.
Her large eyes surveyed me from top to bottom.
“… My lady? What is the matter?”
Her lips pursed, then she shook her head.
“It’s nothing.”
Soon the usual routine of caring for the Moon Deer began again.
The time remains uneventful.
Eliya groomed the deer, and I fed it water and hay while scratching its neck.
However, Eliya had changed.
She wasn’t as stiff as before.
She had grown quite skilled and natural at it.
Her expression too.
It was a rare time to see Eliya’s gentle face.
‘Did she take quite a liking to the Moon Deer?’
The purpose of having the Moon Deer was singular.
To showcase it at the birthday banquet.
There was no need for her to remain interested afterward.
Yet Eliya consistently takes time.
Swish, swish.
The sound of brushing.
Chew, chew, the sound of the Moon Deer munching hay.
Ria waits behind Eliya for any unforeseen incidents.
Bradley has now adapted to cleaning the stable comfortably.
The atmosphere is relaxed, softening my heart a little.
Seizing the moment, I cautiously opened my mouth.
A question I wanted to ask Eliya.
I wasn’t sure how she’d respond.
It might be rude to ask something like this to my master.
But still, I can’t help but be curious.
The reason Eliya, my master, wishes to kill me.
Receiving an answer might shed some light.
“My lady.”
“Hmm?”
Then Eliya asked a question.
“What do you think of me?”
…Standing here, it made me a bit nervous so the question came out a bit wrong.
At that time, Eliya had asked how she was perceived.
Well, but that’s really the same thing, isn’t it?
“You?”
Eliya looked at me while grooming.
It’s clear she’s got grooming down now.
“Yes.”
She stared earnestly at me.
Like I was an unusual species.
What an odd question to ask, it seemed.
Her expression remained impassive as usual, but I felt a slight shift.
Her head tilted slowly.
Once to the left.
Once to the right.
As if to say, why do you care about such a thing?
‘So cute… oh, no.’
Eliya, who had been staring at me, turned her head away.
Grooming in a nonchalant manner, she spoke as if she’d thrown it out casually.
Upon hearing that, my heart just stopped.