Chapter 21: Past and Nightmares
Arren seemed to be submerged in a very long dream, but also in an instant. The dream confused him while also being very vivid. His first life flashed before him, and he was linked to his second.
As the experiences of the two lives became entwined, Arren himself became perplexed as to which was the true one and which wasn't. Both illusion and reality appeared in his dreams, confusing him more than he could handle.
Despite the perplexing and complex dreams, Arren was still enlightened to the fact that both lives were his and real at the same time, it was just that the previous life had ended and he was now on his second life.
Arren was both the observer and the participant in the dream.
Arren remembered that this was not his first time having such a dream; it had happened to him before. It was ten years ago when he remembered his first life. The feeling of having a vivid dream that was both himself being an observer and yet also relieving the dream was such an unforgettable experience that it left the biggest impression on him.
He saw himself in the hospital bed, his former parents crying by his side. There were also some relatives and a doctor in the room, but they did not bother the two. He shouldn't have remembered it because he was already dead.
It was strange seeing his own previous body lying motionless in the bed, obviously dead. He didn't know what to feel, but seeing his previous parents in pain and crying over his death brought back the pain in his heart.
He knew how much his parents loved him and how much they sacrificed for him in order to prolong his life despite all complications. Arren would not have been able to complete seventeen years of his life if his parents had not supported him. It was already regarded as a miracle.
He couldn't do anything about it; his first life was just that short. Arren could only hope that his parents would not blame themselves and would be able to let go of him. He sincerely wishes them happiness.
His dreams would shift from his first life to his second life. Arren discovered in his dreams that he was truly fortunate and blessed because the heavens provided him with loving and kind parents for both of his lives. Even though he only had a father in his second life, he was already content. He never knew or remembered his mother; all he knew was that she died when he was only three years old.
Actually, his father rarely told him stories or mentioned his mother. It was as if his father had already forgotten about her. In reality, however, this was not the case. His father still loved his mother and avoided memories of her. So, over time Arren just get used to it and even he also forgot to ask anything about his mother.
The dream changed again, becoming increasingly hazy; Arren recognized the scene as a very distant memory of his. Perhaps it was now a buried memory in his subconscious.
In the scene, there was a woman holding a boy who appeared to be only two years old. The woman smiled gently and warmly, her gaze fixed on the baby boy in her arms. The baby boy was laughing, and his joyful laugh traveled through the woman's ears, widening her smile even more.
With the two of them, the garden seemed more like a paradise. The beautiful woman resembled the baby boy, who was laughing without a care in the world. Even at such a young age, the boy's delicate and beautiful features were evident.
Arren watched the memory while becoming the young boy and laughing innocently at the woman holding him gently. In his second life, he finally felt the warmth of a mother. It both calmed him and made him happy. He had no recollection of the memory, and the image of the woman was not someone he recognized, but the feeling of familiarity was strong.
She was without a doubt his mother. Arren wasn't sure what accident had happened to his mother. He didn't even know the reason she died. It was as if all records of any incident involving her had been erased without a trace.
He was once curious about it, but asking his father about his mother when he knew it would reopen old wounds was something he couldn't bring himself to do. Arren had simply concealed his intentions for so long that even he had decided not to be concerned.
"Baby Arren... my baby," a gentle voice came out of the beautiful woman's cupid bow lips. Her tone was soft and clear, and the young baby in her arms smiled cheekily as if he understood what the woman said, what his mother said.
The woman caressed the young boy's face before gently playing with his soft baby hair. The baby giggled at his mother, his bright eyes never leaving her face. "Mum loves you, baby, I really do," her gentle voice carried by the breeze, making it especially beautiful and warm for the baby to hear.
The baby responded with a baby giggle, which warmed his mother's heart. The woman smiled all through her eyes and hugged her baby boy. Her hug was tight but careful not to suffocate the boy in her arms, baby Arren in her arms laughed even more being tightly embraced by his mother. But for some reason, the woman's eyes flickered with some worry but it was gone in an instant and was replaced with determination.
Arren witnessed his mother lovingly holding his young self, smiling gently, and speaking to him with loving words. Arren felt the unconditional love of a mother for his son. He suddenly missed his mother, whom he had forgotten but had seen in his dreams.
His heart was filled with regret and 'what ifs.' His mind also began to spin toward the reason why his mother died. Arren wanted to know how his mother died.
Arren didn't have to wait long to find out because the scene and images changed again, and this time the dreams were fragmented and difficult to comprehend. The fragments of memories made the dream unstable.
The scene was set in their mansion, specifically the nursery room. There were shouts and terrified screams, and gunshots could be heard. The whole mansion was in chaos.
Arren's head throbbed as his dream became increasingly indistinguishable as events unfolded. His mind seemed to reject all the memories but the dream had to continue against the will of his subconscious.
The nursery room was pitch black, with doors and windows slammed shut. Despite this, the noise and chaos from outside could be clearly heard. Arren observed the young him, and, as before, he became the young boy, but not at the same time.