01: Relapse
“I'm Rhyder Pierce.”
A name that almost everyone had misunderstood at least once. A name that seemed to invite confusion, jokes, and comments every time it was said aloud.
"Rider? Like someone who rides a bike or a horse?
That line was something I had gotten used to, and I pretended like I hadn't heard it a hundred times.
"Um...yes, I guess it is a bit like that, hihi."
"So, do you like riding things?"
"Well...no."
Whenever I had to introduce myself at the start, I felt the need to clarify it, just to avoid the constant questions.
“Yes, it’s Rhyder, with a Y."
"That's unusual name for a girl."
“Yes, it is.”
The fact that my grandpa gave me that name to be unique girl. However, the true meaning behind that was still unknown for me. Or maybe it was just a name.
In the room, even my classmate mess it up.
“Rider—no, uh, Rhy, Rhyder...where are you going? The second class is about to start.”
I raised my head to see the person with eyeglasses,Clark, approaching towards me at the door exit.
“I’m not feeling well."
"Oh, let me guide you to the clinic then."
"No need. I'm heading home anyway."
Come to think of it, that person was our top notcher every semester and worked part-time at the restaurant after class. How did he manage that, while I was studying all night but ended up with a five-point-zero?
"Ah, um, do you need help?"
Clark wasn't a type of person who would offer help to anybody at any time. In fact, people inside this class room knew that the class president was an unapproachable and nonchalant person. Nobody expected any kind of assistance from him.
I hated to admit it, but I felt a bit proud of myself knowing I was the one who had made him act this way. He offered to help willingly for the third time? For me?
Someone outside this school might misinterpret his behavior. He was neither soft nor concern for me, because there was one specific objective he had in mind.
Anyway, I had no plan to reveal his secret. I didn't even care about someone else's business.
“Yes, cover for me, ok?”
No need to explain why I was leaving, but I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. I had seen my grade, and it was all I could think about.
“Oh, o-okay...”
“Thanks.”
I didn’t wait for his reply. I walked straight out of the classroom, not looking back. I had more important things to think about than attending class.
Escape was something I need. And I lied to Clark. I needed to get to the beach immediately.
It was a two-hour trip on the bus, but I didn't mind. As soon as I got on, I settled at the back seat and put my earbuds in. I didn't realize how heavy these feelings had become until tears formed in my eyes as I quietly looked out the window.
I didn't want anyone to notice, so I turned away slightly, trying to hide my tears. But as the bus rumbled through the landscape, my emotions continued to spill out in silent sobs.
It was so heavy. Really. I tried to close my eyes and rest, but every time I did, tears would escape, and the lump in my throat would grow larger. I didn't want to cry, but it was difficult . The bus journey continued, but all I wanted was for it to end.
When I arrived at my grandparents' house, the entire place was empty. Grandma had likely gone to the town market, leaving the house vacant. Without wasting any time, I marched towards the beach and yelled as loudly as I could, until something came out from the wildest dream.
Grandpa hadn’t been around for a long time. Still, I wished more than anything that he was there now. And he would have been the first person to believe me about what I just witnessed right here in the shoreline.
"Hey Lily," she was my friend who left me ten missed calls just a few minutes ago. I decided to call her back but didn't tell her where I was, instead, I left her a message sounded like a will.
"I don't think I'll be able to have lunch with you today or tomorrow. If anything happens to me, would you please take care of my dog, Wowo?"
Now, I didn’t know why, but my feet moved on their own, carrying me toward the water. I tossed back my phone to the sand after sending the voice message. I had to know, had to see if what I’d witnessed was real.
The first wave reached the hem of my school uniform, soaking my skirt as I stepped into the sea. The gap between the shoreline and the foreshore stretched far and wide, and the deeper I went, the slower my steps became.
The water was at my waist now, and the waves were growing larger, pushing against me.
I looked around, side by side, trying to pinpoint the exact spot where it had fallen.
Dragon.
That’s what I called it, even though it sounded ridiculous. But it was the only word that made sense after seeing its wings as it fell from the sky.
I took another step, then another. The water pushed against me as if trying to stop me, but I kept going. This was what the world had given me something else to focus on.
"Why?!" My voice broke through the rushing waves. It felt like my life was written by the cruel author. "Why am I struggling so much?"
The wind picked up, slapping my face with salty spray, but I pushed forward.
"What did I do to deserve this?!"
Questioning the world won't give me an answer anyway. It just felt like my purpose in this world was to struggle everyday.
"I keep trying, but it's never enough! It’s NEVER enough!"
I swiped a hand across my face, but it did nothing to stop the tears.
"Everyone else... they get to live, they get to be happy, but me? I'm stuck! I'm stuck here drowning in this, every damn day!"
The waves hit me harder now, slamming against my legs, as if punishing me for speaking out. I pressed a fist to my chest, as though I could rip the pain out with my bare hands. The sky above me brighten opposite the feeling I accumulated inside.
"I wish I was never born..."
The words scarcely left my lips, carried away by the wind before I could fully hear them myself. And then the sob came, tearing through me until I couldn’t tell where the tears ended and the ocean began.
And then, my feet slipped beneath me, plunging downward to the deep depression of the ocean.
Glub, Glub, Glub
The world flipped as I fell. My head was under the surface, my body sinking into the depths. It was deep, far deeper than I had realized.
I floated underwater, enduring not to breath. My eyes widened and blinked, the saltwater burning my eyes.
It wasn't an illusion after all. It appeared...really.
Beneath me, there was a huge sand crater, the sides around like a sunken hill. I blinked again.
"What ~~" I forget for a second that I wasn't Ariel the Disney princess. So, I gasped, choking as water rushed into my lungs. I kicked upward, desperate for air, breaking the surface with a deep inhale.
"HAAAAGURGLE Cough! Cough! No wayyy..."
The waves made me bob up and down.
"Cough! Nooo way..."
After catching my breath, I sank back under water again.
The seafloor beneath me, but I knew it was there—an enormous crater. As I descended, the wreckage of the coral reefs came into view, broken and scattered. Small fires flicked around. The sand marked with burnt. Everything had been destroyed in this parameter because of the impact.
But where was it? As I dove farther, my eyes scoured the sandy depths for any sign. I was sure it had fallen here. The one I saw with my own eyes.
I wasn’t sure what I was thinking or how bold had I been, throwing myself into the ocean after it? I saw it fall. It was huge, and now I was at the very spot where it had landed.
Moreover, I could be killed down here. Diving into a crater made by the beast… I hadn’t even considered it. But maybe that’s the point. I wasn’t afraid. Maybe I didn’t care. Maybe disappearing was part of the plan. Maybe that’s why I came.
So, I pushed forward. I wasn’t done. As I dove deeper, I could feel my breath thinning, but I continued. Then I saw it.
A lone dark shape resting on the seafloor. A few small fish circled it, curious, darting around.
I found it.
At the moment, my lungs began to burn. I had no time. I dove straight for it, disturbing the ocellaris fishes. Then, I grabbed hold of the creature.
It was heavy. But I kept my legs swaying through the water as I struggled to carry it upward following the faint light from the surface. The light was my way out, our way up.
When I finally reached the sand beneath the water, I walked towards the shore with the creature's tail in my hands, pulling it behind me that guided by the waves.
"Cough! Cough! Cough!"
After the moment of navigation, I finally reached the shoreline.
Then lay, sprawled out on the wet sand, my arms spread wide as I stared up. Everything was soaked, even my watch whose screen was dead, waterlogged, completely useless now.
I turned my head to the right to see my proof that I wasn't crazy. It was laying beside me. Its chest rising and falling. In short, it wasn't dead, but its eyes remained closed, as if it were peacefully asleep.
"Where are you even came from?"
Still disbelieving, I took a closer look. Its scales were a deep, glossy black, like polished obsidian. Its wings lay folded against its back, too small to carry anything larger than a bird. Two little horns curved from its head. The tail tucked close to its underside. And its body… it was small. How could this be the same creature that had fallen from the sky with such force?
It was no bigger than Wowo, my golden retriever. I laughed slightly. The huge, terrifying dragon I had seen, the one that crashed into the sea, had somehow become this small, a baby dragon.
"What am I going to do with you now, Blackie?"