Chapter 46 - Is He Worth It?
"What? Say that again."
Ariom abruptly stopped running. Thenio was taken by surprise and went several paces ahead before halting and turning around to look at him.
Iggy, who had been trotting along behind them, also stopped and flopped down on the training room floor, his tiny pink tongue hanging out as he panted. He liked running with them when they did their warm-up jog around the archery room, but he could only keep it up for a few laps before he got tired and had to quit and watch from the side.
"He said he was the one who told the Association to hide some of the information they have about chaos morphs," Thenio repeated.
"So that was his fault?" Ariom scowled. "Just what sort of game is he playing here? How does he expect me to figure anything out if I don't have all the information I need?"
Thenio made an awkward expression. As expected, Ariom wasn't at all happy to learn that Ki'shiu was the one responsible.
"Well, it wasn't like he didn't have any reason for it. He said it would be really dangerous if the wrong people found out about the true nature of chaos magic. That they'd try to do something horrible to me if they did."
"Like what, exactly?"
"I don't know. All Ki'shiu said was that 'there are things worse than death.' It sounded like he'd rather let me explode and kill myself than go through...whatever it is."
Ariom frowned. "Did he say who those people are?"
"No. But...." Thenio hesitated. "Well, didn't Eteon say he really hated the Order of the Ravener? And he told me later on that I needed to be careful not to attract their attention because they have some real monsters lurking behind them. So I thought maybe that's who Ki'shiu was talking about."
"I see.... That's possible. They've definitely shown they're willing to do horrible things to people if it helps them achieve their goals. But why does he have to hide things from me? He doesn't think I'd sell you out to people like that, does he?"
"I don't think so? Not really. I think he's just being careful. I mean, he wouldn't have let me come live with you if he thought that, right? And he also said that he didn't want to tell you everything right away because he was afraid of giving you too many preconceived notions about chaos magic. He wants you to look at it with a fresh perspective instead of just seeing it the same way he does. But he's not planning on keeping things from you forever."
Ariom made a face. "That's annoying. I can sort of understand his reasoning...but it's still annoying."
"How do you think I feel? You're still getting more information than I am."
"True. Though I didn't actually learn all that much from my talk with Mideis last night. He told us the gist of it earlier—that we need to be careful about what kinds of information you're exposed to. The rest was just some specific things to be cautious of."
Thenio raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's all it was?"
"Pretty much." Ariom hesitated, his brow furrowing a little. "Although I admit I'd really like to know the significance behind some of those things and why learning about them would be such a problem for you...."
He stared into space for a moment, wearing one of his scowls of concentration. Then he sighed a little and shook his head.
"Well, it's not something to worry about right now. Let's keep going. Tell me the rest of what you learned from Ki'shiu." Ariom took a step forward before pausing and looking down at Iggy. "We're going to run some more, little guy. Why don't you go get a drink of water and then rest in your box for a few minutes while we finish?"
"Mmm. Okay."
Iggy still looked tired, but he seemed to have caught his breath again. He got to his feet and then jumped up and flew off toward his dragon box. The one on this floor was positioned in between the two training rooms, with windows looking into both of them.
Thenio and Ariom resumed their jogging, and Thenio continued describing his lesson on dream magic from the night before.
"That stuff seems pretty amazing," Ariom commented when Thenio had told him about recreating objects inside Ki'shiu's dream. "I'd really like to understand the mechanics of it. I wonder if I could talk Eteon into giving me a demonstration.... It sounds like it's a more flexible version of the physical manifestations that sorcerers use."
"Ki'shiu said it was similar. He said dream magic is highly oriented toward manifestations—that's why I was able to get around the normal limits of my current magic level to make that chunk of ice yesterday. But he doesn't think I'll be able to do much more than simple manifestations like that until I'm an actual sorcerer."
"It's scary enough that you can do that much. If we can stabilize you enough to get you to sorcerer level, you're going to be quite a force to be reckoned with...." Ariom was quiet for a moment. "Well, that probably answers one of my questions. I've been wondering why Ki'shiu would have singled me out as someone who could potentially help you, rather than any of the experienced doctors and researchers he could have picked. But from what I've heard so far about dream magic, I think it should have a good synergy with thaumaturgy. And if dream magic is that important for learning to control chaos magic, maybe Ki'shiu thought a thaumaturgist would have an advantage in figuring out how to help you."
Thenio considered that. It was true that the dream magic practice he'd done last night had reminded him a lot of the shaping exercises that Ariom had taught him.
"But I assume that Ki'shiu could have taught you about thaumaturgy himself if he'd wanted to. So that alone must not be enough to make a difference." Ariom looked thoughtful. "I'm curious about that phrase you used earlier, when you were talking about the danger of the wrong people learning too much about you. 'The true nature of chaos magic.' Did Ki'shiu use those exact words?"
"Yes. He said there were people who would try to harm me if they learned about the true nature of my magic."
"True nature, huh...? Did you ask him about my idea that contact with essence magic might be altering your magic circuit?"
"He said it wasn't exactly right but wasn't exactly wrong either. Apparently the general idea is right. But he wouldn't tell me any more than that."
"Hmm.... Maybe it's the correct result but the wrong process. So essence magic does affect you, but it's not by deforming your magic circuit? But there still has to be some way to account for those abnormal scans.... I'll have to think about it more. Was there anything else you learned from Ki'shiu that you haven't told me yet?"
"No, I think that's everything."
Thenio had left out a few things in recounting his meeting with the dream beast, of course. Mostly the embarrassing parts, like when he'd yelled at Ki'shiu or gotten emotional over flying with him.
He'd left out any mention of flying at all, actually, simply saying that Ki'shiu had taken him into another dream and told him he'd be able to change his magic to different attributes once he learned to use dream magic properly.
Considering how Ariom felt about his father and Jasel, Thenio was pretty sure that saying he wanted to learn magic acrobatics someday wouldn't go over too well....
"All right." Ariom nodded and slowed to a walk. "Well, we've already gone longer than our usual warm-up time. Let's move on to strength training now."
"Hiiii!" Namyis smiled brightly and waved at Ariom as she jumped lightly down from her carriage—a light blue one with silver accents, pulled by a white, gryphon-shaped golem. "Nice to see you again!"
Ariom scowled at her. "The feeling isn't mutual."
"Aww...come on." She put on a pitiful expression. "We worked together so well yesterday...."
"Right. We're working together. We're colleagues. Not friends."
"You can be friendly with colleagues, though? You and Mideis seem to get along quite well."
"I've known him for more than a decade. I've known you for less than a day. Obviously I'm not going to treat the two of you the same."
Namyis pouted. "You're just prejudiced against me because I'm a combat wizard."
"Yeah. I am. You have a problem with that?"
"Of course I do. Nobody would be happy with something like that.... Well, I'm used to it, though. Lots of people hate combat wizards." Her pout suddenly turned into a playful smirk. "Most of them are criminals, though. So aren't you in good company?"
"You...." Ariom scowled again and turned toward the house. "Come on. Mideis is already upstairs."
"Has he been here long? I didn't get the meeting time wrong, did I?" Namyis asked, glancing over at the black carriage parked next to hers.
"He came early to give Thenio some meditation training. We're hoping that improving his mental focus helps with his magic control."
"Ah, I see." Namyis nodded. "I went through training like that, too, when I was younger. It does help."
Ariom gave her a sideways look as they went in through the front door. He hated to admit it, but she was a valuable source of information on magic control, since she'd had to go through much more intense training than the average wizard did. If he had to be around her for the next couple of weeks anyway, it would be foolish not to take advantage of her experience.
Even if she was annoying....
"Is Thenio going to be practicing with us today? He was originally supposed to be the one recording the magic formations, wasn't he?"
"Yes. We've found that he's unusually good at receiving telepathy, and he can draw formations very quickly. So having him help us seems like the best option as long as we can do it without putting him at risk. As far as we know, what happened yesterday was just an unfortunate combination of circumstances. We should be able to avoid similar problems in the future, now that we know what to watch out for. So it should still be safe for Thenio to participate."
"That's good. He seems like a very interesting boy, so I'd like to have a chance to talk with him more. After yesterday, I was a little afraid you'd hide him away somewhere and never let me see him again."
"I considered it," Ariom said drily. "But I think we'll settle for just making sure there's a barrier between the two of you. We need to have one set up for the enchantment analysis anyway, so it shouldn't take that much extra work."
"Well, talking through a barrier is a lot better than nothing. Especially with that nice enchanted glass you make! I still want some of that...."
"I told you, I don't take jobs from people in the Magic Corps," Ariom growled. "Yesterday was a special exception, and I did that for Thenio's sake, not yours. There are lots of wizards who can make enchanted glass. Go buy it from one of them if you want some."
"So stingy." Namyis stuck her tongue out at him. Then her expression turned serious again. "Will you at least let me hire Thenio to paint something for me, if I can talk him into it? It really seems like he could use the encouragement...."
"I hate to say it, but you have a point," Ariom admitted reluctantly. "If he wants to do it, that's fine. But don't push him too hard, all right? He really is insecure about his artwork. And it's dangerous to upset him too much."
"I know that. I'm in the Magic Corps, remember? Battlemages always have to be careful not to get too emotional." Namyis put a finger on her cheek, looking puzzled. "Why is he so insecure about it, though? His skills seem pretty good to me."
Ariom sighed. "I don't know. His skills are good. Even the guild master evaluated them highly, and she's one of the most demanding enchanters I know. I've been trying to persuade him to study aesthetic enchanting, since he'd clearly be good at it. But he has some kind of strange aversion to the idea of becoming a professional artist. He won't say why."
"Hmm. Some kind of past trauma, maybe? You know, like how a certain grandmaster enchanter has a strange aversion to working for the military?" Namyis said with a wink.
"Stop that. It's annoying." Ariom glared at her. "But yes, it's probably something like that. Something a former teacher did to him, maybe. I know he had a rough time when he was at the Royal Magic Academy. His general school experience probably wasn't any better."
"Poor kid...."
They both fell silent as Ariom led the way up the stairs and down the hall. The door to the magic reference library was closed, and when they reached the workroom, it was empty.
"I guess their lesson isn't quite over yet. Well, have a seat. Mideis knows you're here, so he should be joining us soon. There are snacks over there. Help yourself if you want any."
Ariom nodded toward the refreshment cart, which was standing on one side of the room and was laid out with human-appropriate foods. Thenio and the familiars were going to be staying in the library for this practice session, so they had their own snacks in there.
"Since we have a few minutes, there's something I wanted to ask you," Ariom said, watching Namyis as she poured herself a cup of juice.
"Ask away," she said with a cheerful smile. "Though I'll dump ice water on you if it's something rude. Just so you know."
"Don't make threats with a smile like that. It's creepy," Ariom complained. "And of course it's not anything rude. I just wanted to ask if you've ever met a mythic beast before."
"Oh, that. Yes, I have." Namyis nodded. "I've met Naslunal and Essu. Well...you don't exactly meet Naslunal. But I've seen him up close, anyway."
"You mean you went on his shell? I thought high-ranking sorcerers usually weren't allowed on."
"No, they're not. I knew that, but I really wanted to see him, so I went over on the boat and just stayed there the whole time. I got to talk to Naslunal's agent for a while, though. He was very nice."
Ariom had never seen Naslunal in person, but even he was aware of how the giant turtle operated. It was quite well-known, since he was the only mythic beast who regularly interacted with humans. Or showed himself to them, at least. As Namyis said, he didn't interact with people directly due to the huge difference in size.
But he would occasionally swim close to coastal cities and stay for a few days to allow humans to come over in boats and gather resources from his shell. One of his agents stayed in a small house on the shell and monitored the process in order to protect the rare plants and magic beasts who lived there.
Since high-rankers like Namyis could potentially cause a lot of damage to a place like that, they usually weren't allowed on Naslunal's back.
"What kind of mythic beast is Essu? I don't remember hearing that name before."
"He watches over the First Rift and the surrounding wastelands. I met him when I was there for Rift duty a few years ago. He's a bit shy and doesn't normally interact with the combat wizards there. But since his magic domain is snow, he's more comfortable around ice mages. So I managed to coax him out to play with me a few times."
Ariom raised an eyebrow. "'Coax him out to play?' This is a mythic beast we're talking about, isn't it...?"
"I think he's one of the younger ones. He has quite a childlike personality."
"No wonder you got along with him.... What does he look like?"
"A big, white wolf with red eyes. He's so pretty and fluffy!" Namyis smiled at the memory. "He's really cold, though. It's like his body is actually made from snow. Well, I didn't particularly mind that. It was more of a problem that he didn't really want to be cuddled. He only let me hug him once, you know? Just before I had to leave."
Ariom gave her an incredulous look and then shook his head. "Why does it not surprise me that you would go around trying to hug mythic beasts? Honestly...."
"She's trying to hug mythic beasts? What?"
Ariom turned to see Mideis, who had just appeared in the workroom doorway and was looking very confused.
"Oh hi, Mideis," Namyis said, waving at him. "I wasn't trying to hug all the mythics. Just one of them."
"It wasn't the one that's interested in Thenio, was it?" Mideis looked rather alarmed. "That guy's scary. Seriously. Don't mess with him."
Ariom raised his eyebrows. "The message on that token really got to you, didn't it...? Don't worry, it was a different mythic beast that she met in the past. A lower-ranking one, sounds like."
"Oh. Good." Mideis sounded relieved. "Well, I'm still not sure I would recommend trying to hug any mythic beast. But at least it's not that one. I really don't want to see what happens if he gets angry at someone...." He shuddered a little and came over to sit at the work table next to Ariom.
"Is he really that scary?" Namyis asked curiously. "The mythics and agents that I know of all seem to be pretty nice."
Ariom shrugged. "Depends on who you ask, I guess. Thenio doesn't seem to be afraid of him."
"Thenio's the one that Ki'shiu is trying to protect," Mideis pointed out. "Of course he doesn't need to be scared. It's the rest of us that need to be worried if we don't take good enough care of him."
"Tell me about it...." Ariom let out a bitter sigh. "At least you just have to be careful not to do one of the things Ki'shiu warned you about. He's expecting me to actually come up with a solution. Did you know that he worked with eleven chaos morphs before Thenio? Eleven. That mythic beast has tried eleven times to save a chaos morph and couldn't do it. And somehow he thinks I can succeed where he failed? Now that's terrifying...."
All three of them were silent for a moment.
"Well...is he worth it?" Namyis said finally.
Ariom frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Thenio. If that frightening responsibility is the price you have to pay to have him in your life, is he worth it?" She tilted her head questioningly. "Or is he not? Would you rather you'd never met him?"
"That—" Ariom broke off, not quite sure how to answer her.
He'd never thought of it quite like that before....
"It's something that Isia told me once," Namyis went on. "Sword Queen, you know? My trainer. My adoptive mother, really. Anyways...I caused her a lot of trouble when I was younger. I really didn't mean to. But the training they made me do was so hard...especially the first few years. Absolutely brutal, like you said yesterday.
"Looking back now, I know why it was necessary, but as a child, I didn't really understand. It seemed cruel and unfair. So I fought against it. And of course my magic was always going out of control.... Well. Like I said, I was too young to make the connection between those two things at first.
"So one day, I'd lost control of my magic again and caused a lot of damage to the house we were living in. I was sure Isia was going to be furious with me, like my parents always were whenever I broke things or hurt someone. I even hid under my bed because I was so afraid to face her.
"But you know what she said when she found me? She's never been one to beat around the bush, so she straight up told me that yes, I caused a lot of trouble, and yes, it was hard taking care of me, and she got really frustrated sometimes. But it was all right, she said. Because I was worth it to her. And if all the trouble and frustration were the cost of having me in her life, then she was happy to pay that price.
"That really meant a lot to me, you know? I still wasn't great at sticking with my training after that, but I got a lot better. That was when I finally started to recognize that going through painful or scary things could be worth the reward." She gave Ariom a gentle smile. "Well, you don't need to tell me your answer. It's okay if you don't even know the answer yet. But maybe thinking about it like that will help a little bit."
The room went quiet again after Namyis finished speaking. Ariom was simply staring at her with a blank expression. She met his gaze with a pleasant smile.
"Stop saying impressive things like that," he said finally, looking away. "I might forget to be annoyed with you...."
Namyis laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."