The City of Ionia

“And then when I woke up, she was gone. Her backpack wasn’t there, so it’s safe to say she went to the House with Answers.”

“And you’re ok with that?” Jeremy asked.

Ruby took a bite of her roasted potatoes. “Salty…”

“Citrus, not me. And don’t change the subject.”

She took another bite of her potatoes. They were salty. Citrus was one of the greatest chefs she’d known when he actually cooked correctly. Other times like these, it would have been better if Quinn had run the show.

“Of course, I’m not okay with that. It hurts seeing a friend leave. If Harley was still here, leaving the cult wouldn’t even cross Jill’s mind.”

“That’s a ‘what-if’ scenario. We’re talking about reality here.”

“I know—and don’t wave your finger at me.”

He stopped and pulled back his hand, resting his face on his palm. “She said she’ll return if she can’t defeat the SCAR agent. I’m pretty sure that’s what will happen.”

Ruby chuckled, almost in disbelief. “You saw what happened in the cave. Do you really think one SCAR agent is going to stop her?”

Jeremy plucked a potato off Ruby’s plate. “We’re talking about a SCAR agent here. If I were to put it on a scale, I’m pretty sure one agent has the strength of more than a hundred men.”

“And you know how?”

“Just guessing based on the stories.”

It was a vague answer, but one Ruby accepted. She knew SCAR agents had incredible strength. There was no doubting that. But to have the strength of a hundred men is unheard of.

While pondering, the room shook with unimaginable force. The door busted open with a jolly laugh, rattling the kitchen's pots and pans. Ruby almost jumped out of her seat, her heart pounding with surprise.

“Roasted potatoes! My favorite!”

“Goddamn, Randy! Don’t break the place!” Jeremy cried while on the floor, grabbing his chest.

“The excitement of beautiful potatoes never ceases to disappoint. Jeremy, serve me six serving sizes. My mouth is salivating.”

“Hate to break it to you, but Citrus made these insanely salty.”

A cold voice came behind Randy. “Oh, isn’t that disappointing?” It was someone who Ruby least expected.

Ruby shifted herself to appear more confident.

“Nadia, I didn’t see you behind Randy’s frame.”

Nadia hardly spent time with Randy, so this was a rare occasion.

She responded in a surprised manner. “I wouldn’t have guessed you to be here.”

Ruby was about to speak, but Randy’s bellowing voice interrupted her.

“Enough with the chatter! We can discuss it after my roasted potatoes are made. Jeremy, get to work!”

“Huh? Why me? Get Citrus to make it. Cooking for you is like preparing a feast for a family of four. It’s too much work.”

Randy stood over the miniature Jeremy. The compact kitchen made his body seem overly huge. It was like a mountain looking down at a mouse, and the mountain wasn’t so happy.

“If you aren’t going to remake those roasted potatoes, then I’ll just have to try the ones Citrus made. It can’t possibly be that bad.”

He threw a small piece in his mouth.

“Next time, ask before picking food off my plate,” said Ruby, who awaited Randy's reaction.

He maneuvered his lips in vast positions until he made a statement.

“Don’t bother making a new batch. These aren’t so bad.”

Jeremy sighed as though a horrendous burden lifted off his shoulders. “Thank God.”

Randy and Nadia pulled chairs over to the table. We spoke casually about various topics. It was like nothing horrifying had happened in recent memory. Randy stuffed salty potatoes down his throat, constantly sipping on water. Jeremy smiled while speaking as usual. That smile never scrubbed off his face. Nadia stayed rather cold for some reason. There was no reason to ask, but Ruby did find it strange.

Nadia was always quiet, but something about her gaze seemed more fierce. It was like a blazing cold rather than a winter cold.

Randy shook the room with his low, rumbling laugh.

“Ah, yes, I remember that. She’s always been a little on the weird side. Speaking of Jill, where is she?”

Ruby scratched the back of her head, uncertain of how to answer.

“Ah…well…eeehhhhhh,” Jeremy stuttered. “She—She left.”

Randy slowly placed the piece of potato back onto the plate. “She left? How come?”

“Well…Ruby knows the details.” He said with his hands slightly up, indicating surrender.

Randy and Nadia turned to her. Ruby shifted herself again, conflicted about how to tell them.

“I…”

She couldn’t get the words out.

“It’s ok. Take it slow and tell us one bit at a time.”

“And then… next thing I knew… she wasn’t there.”

“The House with Answers,” Randy repeated. “There’s a reason why people don’t know its true power. No one comes out alive to tell the tale.”

“Not true,” Nadia said. “Jill joined the Baraic Cult upon surviving the brutality of the house.”

Jeremy threw his input. “Let’s not forget Harley saved her.”

Nadia mumbled something under her breath, though Ruby couldn’t hear.

Randy spoke with a potato in his hand. “Should we help her defeat the SCAR agent?”

“I don’t think she wants help,” Ruby said in a low tone.

“What makes you think that?”

“Something tells me that she wants to do this alone.”

Randy scoffed. “Even if it equates to her death?”

Ruby didn’t tell them about Jill’s mysterious eye. She didn’t want to overly complicate something unexplainable. Even if she attempted to explain, it would be something straight out of an urban legend. They wouldn’t believe any of it.

Jill wasn’t going to die so easily. She escaped death over and over again. To think death would finally catch her here was absurd.

But it wasn’t impossible.

“I don’t know. I doubt anything will happen to her.”

Jeremy pushed back his chair. “Sorry, but I forgot it’s my turn on laundry duty. I gotta go before someone yells at me.” And with that, he hurried out of the kitchen.

“That came out of nowhere,” Randy said.

“Please do not talk and chew.”

He swallowed his food. “Forgive me, Nadia.”

Anyone with functioning ears could realize how fake of an apology that was.

“So, where were we? Oh—yes—Jill fighting the agent. Do you believe it will go so smoothly?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t even know how to act in this situation.” She buried her face in her hands for a few seconds until she dropped them on the table before continuing, “A part of me wants to believe that she will not fail. The other part thinks the opposite.”

“Which part of you believes in her survival?”

“My heart,” she responded with her head down, ashamed of such a weak answer.

“I am guessing the other part that believes in failure is your head?”

She shamefully nodded with a deep puff.

Randy went on. “Your head is smarter than your heart. Your head is what makes you a great leader. Your intuition can cut a boulder into a thousand pebbles. That head leads with purpose and logical thinking, carrying us to victorious nights. But when you lead with your heart, disasters such as what happened to Harley unfold. You swore to them their survival. Look what happened. Your best friend ended up—”

“That’s enough!”

Ruby slammed the table with her fist, temporarily causing the few potatoes on the plate to fly. Her eyes were wide, and the crips air snuck through the tiny gaps of her teeth.

“You don’t have to remind me of my faults.”

“Very well. I will not.” He leaned back into his chair in a relaxed manner. “So, what are you going to do about Jill?”

She hung her head low. “What is there for me to do?”

“You can forget about her.”

Ruby’s gaze jolted upwards, surprised by Nadia’s quick words.

“Forget about her? I can’t do something like that.”

“Errrhh, she may be right,” agreed Randy. “Jill’s departure is going to hold you back. It’s difficult to erase someone's presence, but I do feel like it is the best way for you.”

“How…? I can’t just forget someone who’s been with me for years.”

“Ruby, take a seat.”

Without noticing, she stood over the table. Her head vibrated as she winced with unexplainable emotions.

She sat back down and shook her head in disbelief, followed by a giggle. That miniature giggle turned into a frightening laugh that echoed throughout the kitchen. Randy and Nadia remained silent while waiting for the rain to pass.

“Forget about her? Are you serious? You want me to forget about her? How can I forget something so recent? I still recall the day Lexy died in my arms! I still haven’t forgotten about her, and it’s been years. Years! I still have nightmares of that day. I haven’t forgotten at all. I remember it like it happened yesterday. I don’t say anything because I’m supposed to lead an example and be the strongest one here. I’m supposed to act like everything is alright. Poor Quinn caught me crying in the corner of my fucking room just two nights ago. My own child! That’s how pathetic and weak I am. I’m not strong enough to accept what happened to Lexy. I don’t have the strength to forgive myself for what happened to Harley. I can’t accept Jill walking away when I need her the most. I’m tired. I don’t want to continue on like this…”

Ruby hunched over the table. Spit and tears dripped down her face. Her shoulders trembled with each gasping breath. A wave of tiredness and weakness clouded over her throbbing head. She felt lonelier with each breath.

Randy got up and placed his giant hand on her slumped shoulder. “What is it that you want?”

She looked up at Randy with watery eyes, biting her lips. “I want atonement,” she said. “I want to make peace with myself. I can’t live knowing my lack of strength killed the closest ones around me.”

Randy circled the table back to his seat. “Then why not go to the House with Jill?”

“Absolutely not,” Nadia blurted with a cold tone.

Randy leaned over to Nadia. “And why is that?”

“Ruby’s life will be put at risk. It’s a suicide mission.”

“What if that is what she wants?”

Nadia’s eyes widen, rapidly darting between Ruby and Randy. “How can you say something horrific so casually?”

“He’s not entirely wrong…”

Nadia shifted her seating position. “What do—Don’t joke about suicide so causally!”

“I’m not referring to that, but…” She paused to gather the proper words. “I’ve made a lot of successes and a lot of mistakes. It’s normal. We are all human, so mistakes are inevitable. The mistakes I’ve made, though, outweigh my successes. Lexy died in my arms. I wasn’t strong enough to save her. I got Harley in that mess because she wanted to come with me. I didn’t have the strength to refuse. I should’ve gone alone. Look what happened. I am the one who killed her. I brought her to that cave and stuck a knife in her throat. It was me! I killed Lexy because I was physically weak. I killed Harley because I was mentally weak!” She paused to wipe the single tear that quietly rolled down her face. “If I can save Jill from the SCAR agent, a glimmer of peace could maybe restore my mind.”

Randy reached over the table and took Ruby’s hand. Plagued with callous and dried cuts, he gently rubbed her middle knuckle.

“You want to confirm Jill’s safety, correct?”

Ruby nodded. “She claimed to come back if she cannot defeat it. If she doesn’t return, she insists that I assume she made it to Ionia. But if she doesn’t come back, how do I know for sure that she made it to Ionia? What if the fight with the SCAR agent doesn’t go as planned? Then what? Do I just assume that she lives and made it to Ionia? I can’t accept that.”

“She doesn’t want help. You said it yourself,” Nadia said in a desperate attempt to dissuade her.

“You’re right. Jill is stubborn and wants to do everything by herself. Sometimes, getting help here and there isn’t a bad thing. She’ll have to accept it, especially if she wants to fulfill her dream.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Randy said, rubbing his chin with his index finger and thumb. What was her dream again? Something about getting into Ionia?”

Ruby’s smile was subtle, but it was just wide enough for the others to notice.

“She wants to unite Ionians and outsiders. That’s what she told me during her first bonfire. I didn’t take it seriously. It’s a foolish, immature dream. How can such a fantasy occur? But to Jill, it’s not only a dream. It’s a promise she made with her first friend. I don’t know much about this first friend, but how Jill speaks of her is important. She cherishes her first friend’s dream and molds her life around that promise. It’s remarkable how she’s chasing the distant stars. I never dreamt that big or made a promise that dictated my own life… I wonder… Oh… that’s right.”

In the silent night, with stars twinkling like diamonds, the white glowy sphere with specks of craters stuck out like a beautiful tree surrounded by perfectly grazed grass. With just her and her leader up on a hill, gazing at the dark horizon, she made a promise that dictated her life.

“If something happens to me, please lead the cult.”

She smiled, wondering how she had forgotten those daunting words.

To take on the responsibility to lead a cult weighed a tremendous burden on Ruby. She didn’t know whether she would be worthy to lead or not. Doubts clouded her mind, and hesitation grew.

When Lexy’s life came to an end, she had no other choice but to lead. She couldn’t walk away from a promise, especially from someone she admired with the utmost respect.

Ruby understood how important this was to Jill from the start. When she spoke with Jill while glaring at the fire from a distance, she realized Jill wasn’t any different than her. It was almost like looking at an imperfect reflection.

Ruby pushed her chair back and stood. Nadia and Randy did the same.

“I’ll be back.”

“Are you going to get Jill?” Nadia asked almost nervously.

“Of course not. I’m going to help her. We’ll defeat the SCAR agent, and she will get into Ionia. From there, it’s all up to her.”

“Ruby…”

“Yes, Nadia?”

Nadia walked around the table, standing eye-to-eye with Ruby.

She grabbed Ruby’s upper arm and squeezed, her head swung low with a hunched back. Her entire body trembled as she forced the words out.

“Please come back.”

Ruby pulled Nadia in, hugging her for the first time in forever. Nadia wasn’t known to accept hugs. She rarely hugged. Ruby couldn’t remember the last time they embraced each other like this.

“I will.”

Nadia pushed herself and turned her back away from Ruby, covering her face. Ruby didn’t know why, but she didn’t bother to question.

“Ruby.”

“Yes?”

“Never mind,” Randy said.

Ruby silently nodded. And with that, she left the kitchen in hopes of helping Jill.