40. He Saw Everything
After Ruby’s inspiring words to Nadia, her attitude switched along with the sky from night to day. The smile stamped on her face refused to wear off, and her body language was carefree. It wasn’t like we were at war with one of the most feared groups known.
Alexious’ squad retreated to the local village for shelter. Inexperienced fighters would only be a burden on the battlefield. They could’ve stayed at camp, but that was also risky. In a vulnerable state, Nadia deemed that the enemy could potentially strike our clan. There was little to no defense, which wasn’t an issue in the past, considering we didn’t go up against anything like the Three Heads of Despair.
The lack of defense could bite in the rear. However, Ruby suggested half of Lex’s squad stay back to defend while the other half partake in the attack. Lex agreed, surprisingly. I assumed he would throw a hissing fit just cause.
Sitting on the edge of a flat rock, I sharpened my dagger, occasionally blowing off the dust. Whether I went against an elite swordsman with reactions sharper than steel or a crafty archer who slips through the branches like water, my weapon of choice would never change.
I prefer to be close to the enemy. Having a longer blade pushes them away.
Sure, I could fight from a distance, but it’s not my most comfortable aspect. In contrast, knives bring the enemy too close. At that point, it’s pretty much a fistfight. Daggers were just right. Not too close, not too far. Perfect. Just perfect.
While minding my business, Lex came up to me. “Hey there, Jill. Mind if I take a seat?”
I didn’t look up. “I’ve occupied this space already.”
“Your lap is open.”
I stopped what I was doing, glanced at his stupid, smug look, and went back to sharpening my blade.
“Take it you didn’t like that joke. My bad.”
This guy sure is a genius.
He continued. “I got a favor to ask you. Care to listen?”
The audacity to ask for a favor after attempting such a horrendous joke.
“Depends.”
“What are the possibilities of you staying at camp?”
I could only see so far into the question. It wasn’t because I was oblivious to why he asked. It was the way he enunciated his words. He emphasized ‘staying at camp’ while unable to sustain eye contact.
“Why would I stay at camp?”
“Well, er, uh, because of the, uh, for defending our home, y’know.”
This was the exact opposite of a confident answer. Seriously, why would I stay at camp? There was nothing for me, and to stray myself away from the battle would be ludicrous.
“There’s no point,” I said as I continued to sharpen my blade, “A counterattack is just a guess. We don’t know for sure that they’ll attack camp.”
He adjusted his body language to be neutral. He didn’t fidget with his fingers, nor did he look away.
“That isn’t the issue. You are.”
His words intrigued me. I stopped doing what I was doing and gave my full attention.
“I’m the issue? Meaning?”
“You want the short, sweet answer or the entire tale?”
“Everything,” I said.
“When you first came around, you appeared to be this timid, semi-introverted girl with a wonky desire. I didn’t speak to you because you struck me as an odd person. I couldn’t understand you. Ruby told me stories about her time with you, which were interesting, to say the least. You were a completely different person with Ruby than you are at camp. When you stroll alone, your guard is raised, and a mask is stuck to your face, concealing your mouth. You are more alert and on your toes. When you are with your little group, all that is gone. It’s like watching another person. You’re the complete opposite.”
“...”
“I wanted to know you better. It boggled me how someone could switch personalities, so much so that I begged Ruby for you to raid with me. I usually chill in the back for raids since the enemies are never strong. But for that raid, I hid in the distance behind the environment’s disposal.”
He leaned close enough for his cheek to graze my ear.
“Arnold, Jackie, Dinkle, I saw it all.”
The weight of those words destroyed my brain. My head scrambled for words to counter. I couldn’t think of anything. Those names recycled non-stop—over and over.
Over and over and over. Everything became distant. Those names were the only things running in my head.
“...ll. Jill?”
“I’m—I—I.”
Speak. Speak, please. Why couldn’t I say anything? Was it the realization that I was caught? He could expose what I’ve done. This place could no longer be my home.
“Hey,” he said innocently. “The way you actin’ is exactly how I acted when I saw what you did. I was shaken, terrified to move, and couldn’t breathe. You mercilessly killed them. The strength, technique, speed, everything exceeded a human's capability. I saw you punch a man through his stomach. Covered in blood, your fist went into his stomach and out his back. Is that even possible, even with enough rage pent up?”
“Wh—Why—you lied to her?”
I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see his face. Was he angered? Properly. Did he want me gone? Maybe. I tried to judge his body language since he was easy to read. But this—this was something different. It felt like a hell loop, and the devil was constantly torturing me.
“I saw the entire thing—what they did to you and Jeremy. You took revenge for your friend and yourself. As crazy as it may seem, that takes some titanium balls.”
“Wh–Wha?”
“Never mind by that. Basically, I am saying if I told Ruby any of this, it wouldn’t do her any good. Your friendship would be destroyed. You would need a new home. As someone who hopped around from home to home, I can assure you that this place is the most home feeling to me. I didn’t want to take that from you, even if you killed some of my squad members. It was only in the act of defense. From the stories Nadia told me, it was like she spoke of a different person. You limit yourself when the ones you care about are around. You're a normal fighter if you go with Ruby and the others. If you stay behind where the ones you adore are afar, then you’ll run rampant.”
I wanted to scream. He didn’t know the whole story. How could he? Would it even be believable if I exposed what was inside of me? No. I couldn’t. No way.
But he saw it all. He saw my capabilities. He knew what I could do. So why? Why did he not say anything to Ruby? Did he care that much? Was there some sense of urgency inside of him?
Either way, he must’ve seen my red eye, though he didn’t comment on it. It would’ve been mentioned. But why wasn’t it? Was he too far away and not seen? Did he see but refused to say it?
I couldn’t handle myself. My breathing increased as my mind went a million steps an hour. My chest rose and sank with startling rapidity. Every breath seemed urgent, like I wasn't getting enough air into my lungs. My heart pounded against my ribs like a caged bird wanting to escape. My muscles were stiff as if they were on the verge of snapping. My fingers tingled, and a peculiar sensation crept up my arms, followed by a wave of disorientation.
Panic washed through me, intensifying the uncontrolled gasps for air. My eyesight became fuzzy and unfocused as the borders blurred. My surroundings appeared to whirl, and I became further detached from reality. Each second seemed like an eternity as time seemed to stretch out.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Despite my commands, they kept closing, and they wouldn’t listen.
“Take this time to recuperate.”
Oh, the thingy spoke. It was so far away. What did it say again? I couldn’t hear.