The Butterfly Effect

She told herself that she didn’t really want to help them. Eme kept reminding them of everything she knew; all of the reasoning she’d been told in the past, all of the things she learned for herself the hard way. But that didn’t seem to persuade them. They barely even acknowledged what she told them, apparently having come to terms with all of it a long time ago. By the time Kiara admitted that she’d already faced physical consequences for using Mávri Mageía—losing her eyesight some years prior—and still wanted to learn more about it… well, Eme had to face the fact that there wasn’t going to be any way she was convincing them out of it.

Eventually, she offered to tell them what she’d learned throughout her years of study, but adamantly refused to actually join them in the practice. She needed to be there for Astyu, after all. No matter what the others intended to achieve, it didn’t change the fact they were likely still going to fail. She couldn’t leave her son, no matter what promises she’d been given.

But even earlier in, she failed those promises she made to herself.

“You’re a little earlier than I expected,” Eme admitted as she held the door open for the three of them. “I take it you all found some place to stay nearby? I know that’s something you were worried about…”

Jasmin nodded. “Kiara and I have been able to strike a deal with the family that owns the cabin just outside of town. We’ll be able to stay there as long as we need.”

“But I wasn’t going to stay in some bug-infested cabin in the woods,” Brynn remarked. “I rented a proper apartment, as is fitting for someone like me. Between what I earn by myself and what Jasmin generously provides, it’s well within my ability to maintain it.”

“That’s good to hear.” Eme shut the door once they’d all entered. “Would you like some tea? I was just about to make some lunch for Astyu and I, too, so I wouldn’t mind making something for the three of you as well.”

Jasmin smiled. Eme never could decide if the act, whenever Jasmin did it, was unnerving or reassuring. “We’d much appreciate that, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Eme led the way to the kitchen and dining room, even if they all knew where it was by now. Kiara slowly, but confidently, made her way to the table and took a seat there.

“Astyu’s here?” she prompted. “We wanted your help today, remember..? And you can’t keep him busy if you’re helping us. You wanted to keep him out of it.”

“Of course he’s here—he isn’t comfortable around anyone else, and I don’t want to leave him somewhere he’s not comfortable,” Eme responded. “But he’s in his room and I made sure he knew that he shouldn’t bother me today. Just because he’s here doesn’t mean he’s going to get involved—I’m trying my best to make sure he doesn’t even know what’s happening.” She paused. “And I’m not helping. All I’m going to do is watch. It’s a complicated process, I don’t want you to accidentally miss something…”

“And for that, we’re very grateful,” Jasmin said. “I don’t think we would’ve been able to make it this far without your assistance. I’ve been working on this kind of thing for years, but I think I’d be hard-pressed to ever find someone as knowledgeable as you again.”

Eme let out a bit of nervous laughter. “It’s not that much. I barely even know how to apply it—nearly all of my knowledge is just in the fundamentals and the theories…”

“Yet even that might one day be able to save a life, don’t you think?”

Slowly, she nodded. “Perhaps it will be.”

They didn’t say much more on the matter, instead focusing on small talk and other mostly-pointless chatter. Eme preferred those moments the most; it made it feel like they were simply regular women, whose paths had not crossed because of forbidden magic. In those moments, she was able to forget all about why they were here and what she was pulling herself into…

Though, it also tended to pull her closer in. The more they talked, the more she acknowledged she didn’t want anything bad to happen to them, and the more willing she was to share her knowledge. It made her toe the line that she’d made for herself. She could never quite tell if that was something Jasmin intended—understanding the situation in a near-ethereal sense that she did—or if it was something that she ultimately regretted, seeing what it led to.

Once they were done eating—and Eme checked on Astyu, bringing his lunch and reminding him of her expectations—they went up to one of the guest rooms. It was where the three of them usually went to practice their magic and Eme often lingered by the door. This time, though, she entered when they did, finding a corner to judge their performance.

“You want it to be as balanced as possible,” she instructed. She didn’t dare move from her spot, though. “If one thing is imbalanced, then everything is. I don’t think I need to explain just how bad that could get…”

Jasmin let out a soft chuckle. “Yes, that would be a good thing to avoid.” She adjusted the setup a little bit. “Do you think that looks better?”

“Maybe,” was as honest of an answer as Eme was able to give. She didn’t like this—feeling responsible for whatever might happen, as the one guiding them. It made her wonder if it was really for better or worse that she wasn’t with Leander when he died.

“Are we ready yet?” Brynn asked. “I want to get started. We’re trying to summon illusions, aren’t we? The strong kind? I want to see it.” In a way that sounded both melodic and threatening, she sang, “I want to see them dance…”

“Impatience isn’t going to get you anywhere,” Kiara responded. “Unless, of course, you’re hoping to meet Vriuh rather early.”

Eme was about to say something—remind them both that they needed to keep calm, clear minds if they were going to do it properly—but there was a knock on the door. She quickly gestured for the others not to make another sound and went to the door.

She opened it just far enough that she could see the tiniest sliver of Astyu on the other side, hoping that her figure would’ve also blocked out what was behind her. “Do you need something, dear?”

“I know you don’t want me bothering you,” Astyu mumbled, looking up at her for a moment before turning his attention to a little book he held in his hands. “B-but…”

She recognized the book he was holding. “Do you want me to tell you a story?”

Nervously, he nodded. “I know you’re busy, though…”

“It’s not a problem, dear. I’m always willing to make some time for you.” She gave one last glance at the others, just to make sure they wouldn’t need her for anything.

“Go on,” Jasmin said with a nod. “I don’t want to keep you from your son.”

Eme nodded, too, and slipped out of the room without opening the door any more than necessary. She closed the door behind her and made sure Astyu followed her over to his room. “Do you want a specific one?”

“I have to do a drawing for school,” he said. “But I can’t picture it until you read it to me. One about Peiros…”

“Alright.”

When she got to his room, he immediately went to the little rug on the floor, and she moved to the chair in front of him. She knew exactly where to open the book—this one held all of his favorite stories—so it didn’t take long for her to start reading.

She tried to focus only on the text she was reading, though occasionally looked up to check Astyu’s progress on his drawing. It was in those moments, as she read to him alone, that she could tell just how strong his magic was—how it probably rivaled both hers and Leander’s combined.

Eme had never taught Astyu Illusion magic, yet little figures danced around his paper and across his room. A part of her wanted to be proud, she really did.

But she couldn’t shake the fear that, if given the opportunity, he’d stumble down the same path Leander did… the same shortcomings she ultimately fell for as well. She remembered what was happening just down the hall and hoped that he’d never even see it. She couldn’t lose any more of her family.

Unfortunately, she still ended up leaving him alone.