The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille had guessed that Cedar would be cautious now that he expected an attack. But she hadn't believed that he would seriously insist on having the servants treat her meals like the ones of the royal family. Now her food had to be tested by someone else before she even received it.

In addition, the royal doctor suddenly brought up examining her every two weeks, which was usually only done for the members of the royal family too. She suspected that Cedar might have talked the man into doing that. Seemingly, no one was bothered by that decision though, so she just accepted it. She would rather be safe than sorry.

Due to these changes, it was surprising that Cedar even proposed going out for a picnic.

Of course, Lucille immediately agreed, even after he warned her about something possibly happening. Inwardly, she prayed that everything would go right despite this defeating the original purpose of finding out whether the servants were loyal, as Cedar called it. It seemed like Lucille was lucky though.

They had already arrived at their destination in the forest again and sat down at the glade on a big blanket. The servants had taken a seat a few steps away, so Lucille and Cedar had their privacy to some extent. The couple chatted about different things for a while until there was a short pause.

At that moment, Lucille considered beginning a discussion that was a bit more serious. She would like to find out more about Cedar. After all, they had spent half a year together now, and he still wasn't as open as most would be, even if she was sure that she knew much more than others. She wanted to know more, and if he even proposed marriage at some point, he shouldn't mind sharing.

That thought was enough to color Lucille's cheeks red again, and she averted her eyes. When she had regained her composure, she already found Cedar grinning at her. He would tease her again if she didn't manage to change the topic now. So, she hurried to speak up. “Would it be fine if I ask you a few personal questions? If you dislike them, you can just tell me.”

Cedar let out a little snort. “I thought we had this conversation already. Go ahead and ask. I won't be offended. Unless you make fun of me on purpose. But I can assure you that many have said much worse things, and I never cared.”

Lucille didn't like hearing that he first expected an insult at all, but she didn't comment on it. Instead, she was already lost in thoughts and tried to determine what she wanted to know about Cedar. Maybe finding out what the foundation for his current circumstances was would be interesting. At that thought, Lucille unwillingly remembered the conversation with Lady Peril.

Jenna loved talking about what Cedar had experienced during his childhood. Of course, it was questionable whether she was always telling the truth, but she had a general idea of what the prince had lived like.

Lucille, however, knew little. That was because she hadn't appeared much in public back then, so she had only interacted with Cedar four or five times before he had first been put in confinement. She knew that this had probably been the most difficult time for Cedar, but it had also been the most important one. So, she needed to hear about it if she wanted to stay close to him in the future. She scanned his expression for a while before he opened his mouth, most likely to tell her that it was fine. Then she finally forced herself to ask. “Can you tell me a bit more about your childhood? If it isn't a bother.”

Cedar stayed as calm as always as he showed her his typical bright smile. “There isn't much to tell you. I had a rather boring childhood.” She was pretty sure that their definitions differed here. “But I can go into detail if you ask me about specific things.”

Lucille took a few seconds before she remembered something. “Did you learn a lot? You said that you practiced waltzing when you were young.” She had heard a lot about how much princes usually studied, so the same would apply to him.

Cedar thankfully didn't seem to be sensitive to this topic and just replied in a neutral tone. “Indeed. As one would expect, the children of the royal family are required to excel at everything they touch. Whether it may be ballroom dancing, speaking freely, manners and etiquette or any political subject you can imagine. Learning filled the biggest part of my free time. I studied by reading all kinds of books from the royal library, writing essays and executing whatever I could in reality. We had teachers who taught us about dancing, table manners and things like that. That was probably the most boring part. When you are as good as your instructors, they usually begin picking at your smallest flaws and correcting you until you are perfect. Even then, they criticize you until you are done with the subject. I'm pretty sure that Theodore's teachers weren't like that, but well.”

That sounded rather rough. If Lucille had to guess, she would say that Cedar's mother had probably forced him to work much harder than a normal child should work too. He had mentioned being supposed to be better than his brother multiple times. It wouldn't be surprising if he had been forced to discard playing in favor of studying.

Lucille balled her fists while hiding them behind her body. She tried to force her voice to sound calm, but in reality, she doubted that she was able to hide her dismay. “And you learned sword-fighting at a young age too?”

Cedar nodded. “Yes. I began with muscle training when I was three. Of course, I was useless back then. I only started to run and began with the smallest tasks. Then I picked up a sword with four or so. I had many different instructors. All of them were very strict but had varying levels of how harsh and skillful they were. The first one wasn't really good. I defeated him just a year after I started training for real. Then the second instructor came and so on. I won against the last one a little after Theodore's coronation. That served as proof that I was good enough, and I stopped training with others. When I do it alone, it's much more efficient anyway.” She had already seen the fruits of his labor. Cedar was a phenomenal fighter. Many knights here wouldn't be able to reach his level even if they did their best.

“I know that I don't have much of a clue when it comes to duels and such. But I did see you fight once. You are very good. You react to movements so quickly and never fail to avoid an attack.”

Cedar still beamed at her after she said that. “Thank you. But to be honest, that isn't really my reaction. It's more of an instinct. My instructors told me one thing again and again. If fighting is ingrained into your very being, you will not lose in case of a life-or-death situation. So, we practiced that a lot. I was supposed to pick up on the smallest movement and hear the slightest of sounds so that I could prepare. And I quickly learned how to react if someone suddenly attacked me. Not reacting ended up with some rather...harsh repercussions. So, I became used to that early. It might also have made me much more aggressive, and this instinct can still be a problem. If people suddenly approach me from behind, I'm already prepared to knock them out.”

That sounded horrible. If Cedar, who had gone through so much pain without grimacing, deemed it a harsh repercussion, it would probably have crushed normal people. And he had been forced to experience that while he had been a child? Every second, Lucille felt even more unwell and cursed Camille even more. That woman was a monster.

Lucille grasped the blanket behind her and forced herself to fake a slightly happy tone. “And what did you do for fun? When you were young, I mean.”

Cedar finished the small strawberry he had just put into his mouth and shrugged before he replied. “To be honest, training was the most fun. If I did well, I was praised and could go study afterward. But sometimes, I even practiced for longer than necessary. Training makes it easy to clear your mind. You focus on your movements and can forget everything else. Or you can use it to think more efficiently. I don't know whether everyone feels that way, but for me, it is a very pleasant experience.” Surely, this couldn't be it. How could a child just do all of that without having a pause to play?

Lucille was still trying to act like she wasn't upset, but she couldn't hold back the bitter undertone in her voice. “You surely must have done something else during your free time too, right? You didn't just train and learn, did you?”

Cedar still beamed at her. It wasn't his forced smile and not one that covered up his annoyance either. He truly didn't care about what had happened. “No, I did not. Most of my time was spent like that, but I did have free time. Like I said, I often used it to train. When I didn't do that, I usually did something with Mother. Occasionally, she read something with me, or we took walks around the palace. We were sometimes visited by my aunt and cousin too. Then I and Luciano could bother each other a bit, but that barely happened. In rare cases, I also secretly met with Theodore and played with him and Althea. That only happened when I was certain that Mother wouldn't notice, so it wasn't that relaxing since I was always on edge. But it was funny to see that these two were different from what my mother had told me about them.”

So, he had noticed that Camille was way too opinionated at some point. And then, he had tried to build a relationship with his brother and Althea, but the dowager empress had come between them often. That was just wonderful. How could a mother be so horrible toward her own son? Hadn't anyone noticed what Camille had been doing to Cedar and interfered? Surely, not many people could criticize the dowager empress, but the emperor should have helped his son.

That thought made Lucille pause. She knew a lot about Cedar's mother and how cruel that woman was. But she actually didn't know a thing about his father. She had very vague memories of the former emperor. She had barely seen him since she hadn't gone to events when she had been around ten. Lucille only remembered that he had been even colder than her own father and that she hadn't even dared to make eye contact. But she had heard rumors about the former emperor not caring about his second son. That had reminded her of her mother being out of the picture while her father used her for his games. But to be honest, she couldn't be certain of how Cedar's father had been at all.

For a moment, Lucille was silent before she met the prince's gaze. “Say... If you don't mind, would you tell me...a little bit about your father?” She already regretted voicing that question a moment later.

Surely, Cedar wouldn't like talking about him. Especially not since they were sitting around outside. When Lucille spoke about her lost mother, she always cried, so she couldn't expect him to talk about a deceased parent without a care.

But Cedar defied that logic. He seemed completely unaffected as he replied. “He was a good emperor. He gave his all to rule the nation and lived for his work and not for himself. That is what I can tell you about him as the ruler. But in person, he was a bit different. Father was...distant. That has to be the word that describes him best. He didn't let anyone close to him. Not even Althea, whom he loved. She was probably the person who saw most of him, but he wasn't always as kind to her as he should have been. I'm pretty sure that he also never treated Theodore with fatherly love but more as if he was teaching a student without really feeling a personal connection.” Cedar stopped here as if he was done.

Lucille hadn't heard the important part yet, so she just stared at him.

Cedar quickly understood and resumed, still without caring much. “Father mostly disregarded my mother. He ate with her occasionally and spoke to her when they met or brought her to events. But he didn't care about her, even though she...claimed to love him. The person he ignored most has to be me though. He only greeted me when we saw each other and then left again. I can count the real conversations we had on one hand.”

That was enough for Lucille to conclude that the previous emperor wasn't as wonderful as people said that he had been. No child should be treated like this by their parents. If Theodore had been seen as an heir and nothing else, that was bad enough. But as always, Cedar had gotten the short end of the stick and had been completely ignored. That wasn't just unpleasant, that was cruel.

Lucille pressed her teeth together before she tried to respond. “That's-”

Cedar cut her off a moment later. “Don't pity me. I don't mind what happened. I have to admit that I was very discontent seeing Theodore with Father the whole time while I was just ignored. But only in the beginning. I quickly gave up on impressing Father. By now, I'm happy that I didn't bother to see him more often. After all, Father only saw me as a way to keep Mother from annoying him because she wanted Theodore back. And in the end, I only saw him as the man my mother wanted to impress too. It would be a lie if I said that I cared about Father. Even his death...didn't interest me, as harsh as that sounds. Mother had a complete breakdown, so it was good that I was calm, but...it's still not normal.”

Certainly, most people would be a little dejected to have a family member die, even if they hadn't had much contact with them. But Lucille wouldn't blame him for anything. Not only because his mother was at fault for most of his problems. “Of course, that's normal. Why would you care about someone who never spent time with you? No one can blame you for that. I also wouldn't care much about a person whom I only talked to a few times.”

Surely, Lucille would miss her mother less if Emily had just disappeared right after her daughter's birth. But her mother had spent six years at her daughter's side, only to disappear overnight. So, it was obvious that Lucille would be much more affected. Cedar had never had a father, so losing the person who was supposed to fill that role wasn't really important to him. That only made sense.

Still, Cedar seemed rather taken aback by her words. He looked at her while just smiling for a while. Then he spoke up. “Are you sure? I would say I'm not very normal.”

Lucille couldn't help the way her heart skipped a beat while he met her gaze. Her throat felt dry. What she said now would probably mean more to him than she could imagine. She had to be careful. She was scared of messing up, so she forced herself to just speak calmly. “I...don't think that matters. You probably find those around you strange as well. It's normal for us to feel like everyone else is odd. Because everyone's normal is a bit different. And it doesn't mean a thing if you are called abnormal. I like you a lot, and that is why I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I saw you more often than others did, right? If I say that you're wonderful, it has to be true.”

She was a bit embarrassed to say that. Lucille usually didn't trust her judgment very much, but in this case, she believed that she was right. She wouldn't claim to know everything about the prince, but she knew enough to be sure.

Cedar scanned her expression as if he wanted to pick up on all the traces of her differing emotions. She could swear that his smile was much softer when he replied. “You truly are the person who saw most of me. I guess you have to be right then. After all, you are the best example of a wonderful person. Maybe I took some inspiration.” And in the end, he had turned it around and complimented her again.

Lucille could only look at him for a moment before she averted her eyes.

Afterward, Cedar used her obvious embarrassment to tease her for a bit. But he held back when she started to get red, because he wouldn't let anyone else see her like this, which he named as the reason. She had the suspicion that Cedar had changed the topic after she told him that he wasn't a bad person on purpose, but she didn't address that.

For the rest of the meal, they stuck to more lighthearted topics again. That was good because Lucille already pondered what she had found out the whole time. She did her best to refrain from showing that on her face, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Cedar had experienced as a young boy. She was even lost in thoughts when they sat back in the carriage and began moving toward the palace again. As expected, her expression showed it very openly.

Cedar only waited a minute or so before he addressed it. “Are you still thinking about what we talked about earlier?”

Lucille would have liked to deny it, but she knew that it wouldn't work with her missing acting skills. So, she looked to the side and spoke up. “Yes... I can't...really forget what you told me. It's just...” He might have said that it was fine, but his mother had done enough to ruin his childhood. No child should be forced to learn day and night while also being confronted with sword-fighting and harsh punishments.

Cedar was quiet for a moment before he opened his mouth. He didn't get to respond.

The carriage suddenly stopped. It didn't come to a halt slowly but so abruptly that Lucille flew forward.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that Cedar caught her and immediately pulled her against him while he crouched down. “Don't move.” He had whispered that to her in a calm tone, but it was enough to make her hair stand on end. He was too tense for this to be an accident. Cedar held still for a few seconds that felt like an eternity before he slowly loosened his hold on her. He looked out the window and listened to the servants' chattering outside before he sighed. “It's nothing dangerous. Just a petty attempt to scare us. It's fine.” He said that, but the smile on his face told her that he was more than a little annoyed. He opened the door of the carriage without waiting for help and jumped out.

Immediately, the chattering died down.

Cedar's presence was enough to make the servants freeze in place, which should have been a sign of him being in a terrible mood. No one dared to move even while he offered his hand to Lucille and helped her climb out of the carriage. She could practically feel how tense the situation had gotten and barely allowed herself to look at the other people.

The servants were only standing there in silence while waiting for the prince to speak.

Cedar let them wait for a while. He slowly walked toward them and stopped to show them a bright smile. A few seconds passed, in which he scanned the face of every single person, before he spoke up. “So. What exactly happened?”

No one wanted to respond. But a moment later, one of the servants, a young man, hurried to speak up when he realized that no one else would. “We sincerely apologize. There seems to have been a problem with one of the wheels. The carriage must have ridden over a bump. We will probably not be able to fix it until we arrive at the palace.”

Cedar didn't seem to be happy about that, even if he continued to smile. Lucille felt like he was boiling but hid it as well as always. He scanned the other man until the servant cowered and then spoke up. “I see. Please show me what part has been damaged.” He didn't need more than a few seconds until his order was followed.

The second servant, an elderly man with white hair and a full beard, was the one who stepped to the wheel at the front left of the vehicle. His voice trembled a bit while he explained. “It seems that this wheel is broken. There are small cracks, and one of the axles seems to have been destroyed. Unfortunately, we could not have predicted something like this. We would have liked to prevent it, but since no one has gotten hurt, we should just walk home and make sure that it doesn't happen again.”

Cedar took a moment to crouch down and ran his fingers across the wheel. His smile widened a bit, which was enough to make Lucille guess that something was wrong. He stood up again and walked back to the servants before giving them the response they were waiting for. “Naturally. Such an accident is horrible. No one could have expected that. We obviously will not punish anyone for the carriage's failure.”

One of the women quickly bowed her head. “Thank you, Your Royal Highness.” Apparently, she had been happy a bit too early though.

Cedar's expression revealed that much.

Even Lucille was a bit worried by now. She stood directly next to him and only felt safe this way. But she stayed quiet the whole time. It seemed like Cedar would deal with this. She didn't want to interfere with what he planned.

The prince crossed his arms and scanned the servants for a moment before speaking. “Usually, I get rather upset because of things like this. But...I have to admit that I'm impressed by your audacity.” His words carried a certain tone with them, which revealed that this wouldn't be fun for the servants at all.

The two men and two women in front of them quickly noticed that. The smaller and way more shy maid was the one that replied in a weak voice. “Your Royal Highness, what do...you mean?”

Cedar showed them his blinding smile. “The fact that you are lying to my face. Haven't you heard about me being able to figure out something like this easily? There wasn't an accident. The wheel doesn't crack like that when it rolls over a stone, and we didn't feel the alleged bump either. Someone purposefully removed a few crucial parts of this frame, and then the wheel surprisingly didn't stay intact. That certainly doesn't sound like an incident.”

The younger man opened his mouth in shock. He looked to the side for a moment before replying. “What...are you hinting at? There is no way that we would-”

Cedar cut him off immediately. “You should know who my mother is, right? Don't you think she already used strategies like this often enough? I know when a person tempered with a carriage when I see it. So. Now that we have come to a conclusion here, I deserve a response. Who was it? One of you can surely tell me who happened to be the one playing around with a royal carriage. If I don't get a response by the end of the next minute, all of you will leave the palace as soon as we get home. You will lose your job, your retirement pay and your shelter. Think twice about whether you truly want that.”

Lucille was a bit shocked upon hearing that. Could Cedar really throw out those people just like this? If he even thought about that, the situation had to be more serious than a broken wheel. Whatever this was, it wasn't a mere joke. And so, Lucille already expected the worst

As expected, the more vocal female servant immediately raised her voice. “You cannot punish innocent people!”

Cedar didn't care much about her. “I'm not planning on doing that. But I will have to punish the people who protect a criminal if no one here speaks up. You are aware that people could have gotten hurt during this little act here, aren't you? Not only I, a member of the royal family, was endangered, but also Lady Valerian, who happens to be Her Majesty's lady-in-waiting. If you want Her Majesty to take care of this incident, you can call her.”

The younger man hurried to chime in with fury painted onto his expression. “Maybe that would be better. She wouldn't accuse us of being traitors without having any evidence.”

Lucille got a bit upset when she heard that. Cedar wouldn't lie or accuse anyone while being uncertain. Surely, that meant that there was evidence too. They just needed some more time. She opened her mouth to weakly propose getting the royal knights to help, but she wasn't quick enough.

Cedar let out a quiet laugh, which only served to make the people in front of him freeze. That wasn't surprising when he smiled at them as if he looked at people he could get rid of within a single second. “I don't need evidence when I'm met with such horrible actors. I already know that two of you did it. One might have guessed it by now, and the fourth person is unknowing but should also realize what happened since the others were alone in the carriage. Is that about right? I can tell you who had which role here without listening to your excuses.”

Lucille didn't doubt that Cedar was right.

After all, the servants completely froze in place when they heard that. They exchanged a few gazes, which almost looked like they were in a panic, before looking at the prince again.

Cedar was still as confident as before and spoke without caring for the other's dismay. “And to be honest, involving my brother wouldn't be a good idea. After all, I would guess that the person who hired you to do this could be related to my mother. Helping her surely won't make Theodore happy. You can guess that, right? Obviously, I will be a more lenient judge than he would in this case. I'm giving you one last chance to confess. If you don't use it, you will have to search for a new job tomorrow.”

It took a handful of seconds.

At first, it seemed like no one would say anything. The younger man only paled while one maid refused to move even a little bit.

But then the smaller maid reacted. She took half a step back before her legs suddenly gave in. It only became clear that this had been on purpose when she fell to her knees and pressed her forehead onto the ground. “Please forgive us, Your Royal Highness! We didn't know!”

Lucille felt something unpleasant churn in her stomach. She should have sympathy with that woman, who looked like she was mortified. Cedar could be terrifying if he wanted to intimidate people, and he certainly did now. Lucille should have felt bad and asked him to stop, but she didn't. She didn't want to either.

The maid had just admitted to being related to some strange plot, one by Camille nonetheless. Lucille didn't trust that person anymore, and she surely trusted Cedar. So, she would leave that to him.

Cedar was truly good at acting out the role of the villain. He almost looked at the woman on the floor as if she was nothing but an insect that needed to be crushed below his heel. But even that wasn't enough to make a chill run down Lucille's spine.

It seemed like her favor was too strong in this regard.