The Broken Prince's Love

It was almost pathetic. Both Cedar and the people around him were.

He was pathetic because he hadn't stopped thinking about that meeting with Lucille in the winter garden for the past ten days. Their words that day had meant much more than just a few empty promises. He caught himself recounting the conversation in his mind often enough, and then he almost saw Lucille in front of his inner eye. He saw how bashful she had been while receiving the flowers. He saw how she had looked at him and how she had told him that she liked him.

Those scenes replayed in his mind countless times. He was glad that he was training because he could blame his ears getting a bit red on being exhausted then. Like this, he could vent his frustration without anything happening. Even when less pleasant thoughts came, he could quickly ignore it.

Today, some people helped him with that. And despite him being so lost in thought, none of them here managed to defeat him. He put more effort into holding back not to hurt anyone here than into seriously fighting. Still, every single duel ended in his victory. Even though those guards had approached him while he had trained and attempted to make fun of him by defeating him. That hadn't gone as planned, which was certainly pathetic as well.

Right now, the fifth guard in succession landed on the floor, only to have the sword aimed at his neck a second later.

“Good attempt but too slow.” Cedar withdrew his weapon and scanned the other's neck to make sure that he hadn't left a wound. It seemed to be alright.

The guard was panting and stared at the prince in shock, but he was unable to say anything. That was better than him yelling like the third guard had done it.

Seeing this was enough to calm Cedar down, and immediately, he returned to Lucille in his thoughts. He would have to bring her flowers in a few days since the old ones were about to wither. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to put one into her hair again though. Then he might be tempted to kiss her once more, and he wasn't sure whether he could stop himself again. He almost sighed at that thought. Even training didn't seem to give him the relief he needed.

Lucille truly had implanted herself into his brain by just being by his side. And by saving his life, of course. That might have been the moment he had begun accepting that Lucille had become much closer to him than he should have allowed her to be.

Cedar wasn't allowed to stay lost in thoughts for longer.

The guard in front of him stood up while still seeming pretty baffled. “You are...good.”

Cedar hadn't expected a compliment from those knights, but he didn't show his surprise. “Thank you. It is easy to see why you are a royal guard too. You are skilled. You should focus on speed a bit without losing accuracy, and then you will be even better. Don't forget to keep your stance in the meantime, or you will stumble again.”

The knight weakly nodded before staggering away to his friends, who had probably expected the best one of them to finally win. They exchanged a few confused looks before skeptically eyeing the prince. Then they whispered a bit, but no one stepped forward. Good.

Cedar let his gaze roam across the small crowd behind them, and when he was sure that he would be left alone, he focused on his own training again. He had practiced swinging enough times today. Maybe he should go run a few rounds before repeating the usual routine with his different exercises. He didn't get far with that though.

A moment later, one of the guards stepped closer. He didn't seem to have any vile intentions and was just genuinely curious. “Pardon me. But could two of us try to fight you at the same time?”

And there Cedar's chance to train alone went away. He continued to smile as always and turned to them. The duels against one person hadn't been helpful when the others were so weak. Maybe trying to fight against two people would force him to put in a bit more effort, so this could help. “I certainly do not mind. I will continue to train for a while anyway. Do the usual duel rules apply?”

The guard nodded, and he and another knight came forward. “But using small tricks is fine, right?”

Cedar already knew what they wanted to do. “You can try that. But I wouldn't recommend it.” That earned him two confused looks, but he didn't care. He hated people trying to approach him from behind. He was always worried about the tendencies he had learned as a child resurfacing.

Back then, his mother had applied her special training to make sure that he would mentally switch into a fight mode as soon as he felt like he was in danger. Random surprise attacks from behind had been his instructors' favorite thing to try, so Cedar usually reacted without even needing to steer his movements. He should have proven that by catching the sword before the duel with Theodore, but he was willing to do it again.

The prince walked back a few steps to prepare for the upcoming duel. He allowed the other men to stretch for a moment before it began.

As expected, the guards' movements weren't very surprising. They acted exactly like the others, their similar training showing. The only difference was that one slowly began moving to the side.

This was such an obvious trick that Cedar almost sighed. But he kept quiet and focused on defeating the person in front of him while refusing to think about Lucille's soft hair in his hand. He had only parried a few attacks and dealt out some hits when the second knight finally acted.

Unfortunately, this guard hadn't listened to the prince's advice and might suffer from the consequences now.

Cedar only saw movement from the corner of his eyes and already cursed. He might be used to surprise attacks, but the problem was that he was also used to dealing with them without holding back. His body moved automatically to dodge the attack, but he immediately prepared to strike back when the guard lost his balance. Cedar's mind blacked out for a moment while he unconsciously moved to immobilize the other man. He stopped himself from overdoing it, but he was still much harsher than he had wanted to be. He disarmed that knight in a swift motion and held him in a stranglehold while forcing himself to apply less pressure than he was used to when he needed to get rid of his old instructors.

That probably had still been too much since the guard just froze in place as if he was scared. Damn it.

Cedar gestured the sword to the other's neck to signal that he had won and quickly let go. “I apologize for that. I did not mean to use that much pressure.” He held down his hand to help the other man up and almost expected to be glared at.

But the guard just looked at him with shining eyes. “That was incredible! How did you know I was there?”

Cedar had seen him and heard him move around. That answer wasn't very special. “When you fight two against one, it's obvious that they will try to corner the person in the middle. I only needed to wait for you to appear behind me and use the force of your attack to throw you off balance.” And he was used to sword instructors attacking him from behind. He wouldn't have his arm broken again, so he was overly cautious when it came to such things. That didn't mean that he would ignore the people in front of him though. The prince looked up to make eye contact with the second knight, who stiffly stood a few steps away. “Is the duel over? Or...” Should he defeat the other one too?

The guard quickly lowered his sword. “Well, I alone certainly don't stand a chance here. I don't need to begin a fight when I know that I will lie on the floor in a minute. I surrender.” That was surprising. Those royal guards normally refused to accept their loss. Apparently, they had already seen enough of their colleagues fall into the dirt today.

Cedar was content with that. “I see.” He put the sword into his sheath and prepared to run his rounds. But he didn't get far this time either.

The guard that had been on the floor spoke up quickly. He lacked the usual derogatory tone in his voice while he addressed the prince. “Your reflexes are impressive. You might be as good as Sir Maillont, Sir Aldis and His Majesty. Why aren't you training with the royal guards? They could learn a lot from you, especially since His Majesty won't join us for the next few weeks.”

Cedar almost gave the other man a snarky comment for that. But the guard had been nice, so he forced himself to reply calmly. “Well, most people here do not like me very much. That is understandable though. It has been....” He needed to think for a moment until he realized that he had been in the palace for four months now. That felt rather strange for some reason. “It has been eight months since the revolt, but you didn't forget that, did you? I know I'm on thin ice, and I would rather not cause any trouble because someone tried to provoke me.” He gave his best not to glance at the guard from the library, whom he had spotted at the other end of the training square. He hadn't been able to make himself clear though.

The other guard only seemed surprised. “But His Majesty lets you stay here, so it's fine. Why would you not be able to train with us? It can only be good if we all improve.”

Cedar showed the other man a bright smile. “You might think that. Others don't like being given advice if they dislike the person that tells them. I'm one of the most hated people here. So, there is no need for me to suggest training with you. Since my brother will return in a few weeks, it will be fine too. He only needs to get used to having his little daughter there, and then he will come back to see you.”

Just a second later, another guard chimed in as he came closer. “But His Majesty has a completely different fighting style than you do. You both try to have the other party to surrender within seconds, but he relies a bit more on strength than you. You are just using your speed, which is incredible.”

It would have been frustrating enough for this guard to come to flatter the prince, but he also brought along some friends. All of them seemed to be interested in listening to the response. Their looks weren't hateful though. It almost seemed like Cedar had gained some admirers now, which was more than problematic considering his role here. Those guards were supposed to serve Theodore and not be glued to the words of their master's biggest enemy.

And besides, Cedar wanted to train alone and not be bothered by them now. So, he gave the honest, and possibly a bit arrogant, response in hopes of making them go away. “I'm not using much strength on purpose. I don't want to hurt anyone here. If I applied more pressure, I would have cut someone or choked them already.” That wasn't a lie, but it also indicated that the knights were much too weak since the prince had to hold back to protect them during a duel. He waited for indignation to show on everyone's faces, but that didn't happen.

Instead, the guards only seemed to be more impressed. One of the younger ones, who had fought against Cedar first, began to beam as he spoke up with excitement. “That's great. Then you're better than most people here. Have you ever had a duel with Sir Maillont? I would be interested in seeing which one of you would win.”

Cedar honestly had to admit that that depended on how he and Owen, the head knight and Theodore's personal guard, would fight. If he wanted to be mean, he could easily win by targeting the enemies' eyes first or using some other petty schemes. But obviously, he wouldn't do that during a fair duel, so he had to admit that it could be difficult. After all, Owen was pretty muscular and strong but also extremely quick at the same time. Speed was Cedar's main advantage, so he would need to rely on exhausting his enemy until he could surprise him. He wasn't sure whether he would manage to do that. Possibly. After all, he had been on one level with Theodore, who apparently was as good as Owen.

“I am unsure. I would be able to defeat him by being unfair, and I would also be able to defend myself and run away from a serious fight. A duel could be more difficult. But I have no idea since I have never fought against him.” And Cedar hadn't seen Owen fight too often during the past year. He had only caught a glimpse during the revolt, and that wasn't enough to come to a conclusion.

This didn't seem to discourage the knights though. They still didn't disappear and stayed close to the prince, whom they should hate. That was weird. And problematic. They would surely attract the other half of the guards, the ones who truly disliked Cedar. And the prince wasn't keen on dealing with that.

A moment later, his worry was proven to be true. He glanced over to the side.

A group of people came close to the others. One of them was the guard who had tried to keep Cedar from entering the library twice now. At least he wasn't grinning so arrogantly anymore, but his friends looked like they were just as simple-minded. While he himself didn't do anything, the men around him seemed to watch the prince with obvious dismay.

Cedar already considered leaving because of that but was stopped before he could suggest it.

One of the guards from that group spoke up in a tone that sounded a bit too kind for someone who hated the prince. “It's truly impressive, even from afar. We noticed that you are good with the sword by now. It would be boring for you to prove that over and over again. There are other more interesting things. Can you use a bow too?” What did he want to hear?

Cedar didn't care much about proving anything here, so he stuck to the truth. “Yes. It's been a while since I shot an arrow though.” Last time, someone had almost shot one at him, and he had to admit that he liked being the one that aimed more than being the target.

The guard's smile became a bit brighter at that. “What a coincidence. You can do that too? It would be a shame not to practice such an ability regularly. How about you try it then?” He held up a bow and then gestured to the end of the training square. “Hit the target there. We're all very curious to see what you can do.” So, that was what this was. He was acting all kind and then chose the target that was the furthest away.

Cedar didn't care much. It was true that he should begin practicing archery again, so this was a good idea. He would rather do it all alone, but last time, refusing the guards hadn't gone well. He accepted the bow and the arrow. “Well, don't get your hopes up. It's been a year or so since I tried to shoot something. And I probably didn't aim at something that was so far away for the past seven years. The targets in confinement weren't this small either. But I can try.”

The prince made sure that he didn't run into any traps while he positioned himself in front of the target. He checked whether some idiot could run into the arrow's path thrice before truly beginning to aim. He didn't have to look to know that half of the people around him were grinning now while they hoped for him to miss. The other half was genuinely curious.

Cedar pulled back the tendon twice to get used to its elasticity before he put the arrow inside. Then he lifted the bow and aimed at the target's center. He focused for a few seconds. Then held his breath. He would ignore all people who could try to scare him and just concentrate on what he had trained for years. He let go of the arrow and held still while observing it as it flew through the air.

It only took two seconds before the impact followed.

Cedar had known that he would hit the target, but he surprised himself. He had been quite lucky. “Not the bullseye, but it's close. Not bad.” He lowered the bow and glanced to the side.

The guard that had given him the task stood there in utter shock. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water and looked from the target to the prince.

For a moment, everyone was quiet. Then a murmur went through the group.

The younger guard from before stepped forward with even more motivation than before. “You're just incredible! I've never seen anyone hit the target during their very first attempt. How are you so good? Normally, you would focus on either sword-fighting or archery, but you are a genius at both.” So much honest admiration was rare.

Cedar opened his mouth to respond, but another guard cut him off.

This knight spoke in a much colder voice. “He's been raised to be a murderer, did you forget that? He was always supposed to kill His Majesty, so it's only natural that he wouldn't bat an eye while doing something like this.” This silenced everyone around them.

The expressions of the guards ranged from shock to slight embarrassment and some averted their eyes. Now the mood was effectively ruined. Good. Now those guards might finally leave Cedar alone and let him train.

The prince didn't bother to say anything about the comment and was already focusing on his routine while he merely gave back the bow. But he was interrupted again.

This time, it was the young guard again. He wasn't overjoyed anymore, but he lacked the hostile tone he should have had. “Is that true? Did your mother want you to murder His Majesty from the very beginning?”

All of the guards around them took a step back and tensed. Did they expect the prince to lash out at them? Maybe.

Cedar didn't have any desire to do so. He replied truthfully. “My mother is a complicated person. I wouldn't understand her even if I gave my best. I don't think she wanted Theodore's death that early though. At first, I was only supposed to be better than him.” Before their father's demise at least. After that, Camille had personally told Theodore that she would make sure that Cedar would kill him and take his throne. Before that, she had still caused her eldest son a lot of trouble by hiring some questionable people to attack him to make Althea seem incompetent, but she hadn't wanted Theodore dead then. Probably. But the other option wouldn't be too surprising either.

The young guard didn't hesitate for a second before believing that. “I see. So, you probably had to learn a lot early. When did you start training?” He was too gullible. Everyone should expect a known traitor to be a liar.

Cedar almost wanted to advise the other man to be more careful, but he just replied to the question. “I'm not sure. I think I started with the basics, like muscle training, when I was three or so.”

The guard seemed surprised at that. “Honestly? No child in that age should have interest in things like that.”

Hadn't Cedar explained that just a second ago? He almost wanted to repeat the same sentence about his mother, but he didn't have the chance.

The brazen guard from before spoke up again. “As you said, no normal child. What makes you think he is normal? His mother is a hysterical wench that wants to kill her own son. What did you think she raised? That person there is not someone you can trust.” Even though he said that without holding back, he kept his eyes on the prince as if he expected some unkind response.

Cedar just continued to smile though. He didn't care about comments like this. He was even content being able to use them to leave soon. “I mean, you're not wrong. But you should be careful about saying that so loudly. After all, Mother and I are still royalty, even if I doubt that Theodore will allow her to keep her title for much longer. So, say things like that when there are fewer witnesses. Now that we came to a conclusion here, is there anything else?” He ignored the disbelief the people here showed him when he said that. He just wanted to go train.

But of course, he was interrupted before he could propose leaving. This time, it was a bit more subtle though. The prince heard footsteps behind him. They were faint, but the way that the guards looked up made it seem like there was a person behind him.

Cedar was pretty sure that the knights had tried to bow too, only for them to be stopped by some motion. And only one person here would be bored and stupid enough to try to sneak up on the prince. This was the emperor. Cedar let out a sigh and spoke up without turning around. “Don't try to scare me, Theodore. You know what will happen if you do that.” He wouldn't want his instinct to kick in since that would end with him throwing his brother onto the floor because he had expected an attack.

The person behind him gave up on being quiet and came the last few steps toward him to stop next to the prince. Unsurprisingly, it was Theodore, who seemed to be in a rather good mood, which was probably the case thanks to his lovely family. “As expected, not even I can sneak up on you. I'm thankful you didn't greet me with a sword.” Joking like this in front of his loyal guards, who were ready to attack Cedar at any moment, was a bit risky.

But Cedar didn't bother with saying that. He turned his head to grin at his brother. “It was a valid option. I might have considered it if you had tried to knock me out with a sword handle again. I don't want to repeat that. My head still hurts when I think about that.” Especially because he had put so many wet and cold cloths onto his wound to cool it that his hair had constantly been soggy despite his head still hurting. He remembered how nauseous he had been for the next few days after the revolt and how horrible the carriage ride to the confinement mansion had been.

Theodore's smile faded for a little moment. “I apologize. I am aware that I used a bit too much force. That wasn't-”

Cedar cut him off. “I wasn't accusing you of anything. It wasn't that bad at all. And do I even have the right to complain here? I don't think so. Besides, that topic wasn't what you wanted to discuss, right?”

The emperor didn't seem surprised. By now, he probably knew that his brother hated whining and that he shouldn't voice too many apologies, unless he wanted to hear how Cedar listed reasons as to why that had been his fault and not Theodore's. So, he went along with the change of the subject and spoke in a calm voice while he let his gaze roam across the guards, who were bowing to him now. “You may rise.” Then he directed his attention to his brother, who was in the middle of bowing as well. “You can stop that too. It feels weird when you do it. Say, what are you doing here? Are you in the middle of destroying our guards' self-esteem?” So, he had noticed what was going on to some extent.

Cedar beamed at that. “Maybe. You probably watched for a while, didn't you? But the more important question is why you are here and not with your wife and daughter.”

Theodore made a dismissive motion with his hand. “I will return to their side in two minutes. I just came here to search for you.”

“Why? What could the esteemed emperor want from me?” Cedar's head immediately gave him the response when he watched his brother. Theodore's smile was too bright to mean something good. So, he hurried to change his approach. “Oh, no.”

The emperor continued to grin. “You didn't even listen to me. At least let me finish my words.”

Cedar quickly spoke up again. “Definitely not. Once you say it out loud, I have to. But I feel like I already know what you want, and I refuse. That expression tells me that this is because of the contract you mentioned. I won't-”

Theodore cut him off. “You will, unless you give me a valid reason why you can't do it. You were the one who picked it up and proposed a hundred changes to make it more profitable for us. You will make sure that we get the most out of it now. Which means that you will go back to the office after you are done here and rewrite it. Or you can list everything for Leon to write it down, but that would cause more trouble for him. So, I want you to write it yourself. You have the entire next month, so you can't complain about there being too much to do.” That wasn't the problem.

Cedar had a completely different reason to complain. That contract was not just some little one. It was a contract between the royal families of Artias and Southern Ocrea regarding a couple of trades. Cedar couldn't just insert himself into one of the most important deals of the decade because his brother was a bit lazy at the moment. He had given in a little more each time Theodore had given him political tasks during the past weeks, so he would be stubborn here. Otherwise, he might really end up as a minister despite not wanting that position.

“You know-” The prince didn't finish that sentence. He saw a bit of red in the corner of his eyes, and an honest smile grew on his lips as he turned his head. He made eye contact and was greeted by the most beautiful smile in the whole world.

Lucille was there to pick him up. And her timing was perfect.

Cedar turned to his brother. “There my valid reason is. Unfortunately, I cannot go to the office now because I promised Lucille to take a walk with her.”

Theodore let out a chuckle at that. “How unexpected. I can't force you to leave Lady Valerian alone when all I do is avoid work because of my family. Go see her. I will remind you to deal with the contract later though. Remember that you have a month.”

Cedar was already steering toward her while he still beamed at his brother. “I can and will run away before you remind me. Good luck with the contract.” He turned around and ignored how surprised the knights were about seeing that the brothers had a pleasant interaction. He directed his full attention to Lucille and showed her a bright smile even before he reached her.

He might not be able to train anymore, but maybe that wasn't so bad. Maybe there was one thing more satisfying than training.

It only took a few seconds before Cedar remembered the conversation with Lucille. How she had told him that he wasn't just a friend to her. And how she had said that she wanted to stay with him. Immediately, his heart skipped a beat, and he was thankful for his acting abilities. If he didn't have those, he would have ended up admitting that he liked her too in much more obvious ways than using his words.

And as soon as he pondered that, the one bad thought came back though. Camille's words echoed through Cedar's mind and made him question one thing.

Did he really like Lucille, or was he just imitating his brother?

He was almost certain that this wasn't a game of his sick mind. But if his brain was playing tricks on him, there was no way to tell whether he wasn't just fooling himself. If he had truly just imagined these feelings, then it would be quite pathetic. After all, it felt wonderful to spend time with Lucille, and Cedar wasn't willing to give up on that.

All of this felt too real to be fake. And to be honest, he would rather accept them being fake than not having these feelings at all.