The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar had gotten tense as soon as his eyes had made contact with his mother. He might have been able to fool himself, but Lucille had seen that he could never fully relax when he knew that the dowager empress was in the same room. Still, he kept trying to make sure that Lucille was doing well despite being in a bad mood the whole time.

And yet, Lucille had no idea what to do. She felt useless at his side. She just stood there and forced him to pay attention to her even though she couldn't do anything in return. The only thing she had helped him with was holding his hand when he tightened his grasp so much that she thought that her fingers might end up hurting for a while. But aside from that, she had been rather quiet and inconspicuous next to him.

Cedar didn't act like he minded that and just smiled at her whenever they made eye contact. When they didn't talk to anyone else, he had a short conversation with her and didn't seem to mind her curt or uncertain responses. It was too kind of him to take care of him, and she felt horrible because of that.

But each time that Lucille tried to gather some courage to speak, she noticed that someone was glaring at her. No matter when she looked over her shoulder, the dowager empress was still watching her with fury oozing out of her expression. Even though Lucille hadn't done anything, the other woman seemed to hate her. Knowing that someone was watching her every move was bad enough, and when the other party had murderous intent, it was horrible.

In the end, Lucille was almost relieved when they talked to some nobles because that gave her a reason to be worried about something else for once. All in all, everyone was nice, but it still felt like she was much too inexperienced to make small talk for more than a few sentences. When she compared herself to Cedar, who could talk for hours if he wanted to, this prospect was depressing. But the fact that he was with her made it so much better. If she had been alone, she might have been sunken into the floor in embarrassment because she didn't know how to continue the dialogue.

However, this only pointed out the difference between Cedar and her. Lucille remained uncertain whether she deserved to be by his side the whole time, and the closer they came to the end, the more she worried.

The conversation with her father had been long and strained. Viscount Valerian hadn't been exceptionally angry, but he had glared at Cedar openly. He was quite unhappy about Cedar escorting his daughter for the second ball in succession.

At first, Lucille had been relieved when that conversation ended, but she had quickly noticed that the worst part was yet to come. The dance. She was absolutely terrified at the prospect of being forced to dance in public. Even if her partner was Cedar, who seemed to be a genius when it came to ballroom dancing. Practicing a few times during the past weeks hadn't helped her much when she was still so nervous that she was shaking.

The royal couple didn't seem to do their dance this year due to Blanche being heavily pregnant, which gave Lucille some hope of avoiding it, but that was crushed quickly. The other nobles moved into the center of the room and soon positioned themselves to wait for the orchestra to start.

That was her and Cedar's cue to go dancing too. But if she was honest, she would rather not do it. Her legs already felt like they would give in now.

Cedar noticed that she wasn't feeling too well and quickly turned around to her. “We don't need to dance if you don't want to. There is no need to push yourself if you are too nervous.”

Lucille quickly nodded at that. “I'm really sorry, but I don't think I will be able to force myself to-” She cut herself off when she looked around.

Almost all of the couples stood on the dance floor, which was usual. But most of them seemed to stare at the prince and his partner.

Lucille unwillingly shrank in herself and turned to Cedar. “Why are they looking at us like that?”

Cedar put on the same polite smile he had shown before, seemingly unaffected by the others staring at him. “Ignore them. Usually, a member of the royal family begins the official dance. Since my brother isn't doing it, they assumed that I would. But Theodore never asked me, so there is no need for us to listen. In the past, they were fine without another royal dancer too.” He turned to her after a moment of meeting the others' stares. “Should we go to the buffet to show that we won't dance?”

Lucille pressed her lips into a line. Everyone was waiting for them? Why did she have to be so unlucky? She knew that Cedar would have liked to dance since he had mentioned it immediately after inviting her, and at the same time, it was his duty to dance as some sort of formal opening. Now he might be unable to do it because she was too cowardly. Great. She had been so happy that he invited her, and now she would be the one ruining it for him.

Lucille tensed when she glanced at the couples in the center of the room again. There were so many people there. Wouldn't it be fine if she joined them for one music piece? No one would be able to keep an eye on her the whole time anyway.

If she danced, Cedar would probably be happy about it. He was the one who held back for her, and he had done so during the last ball too. Shouldn't she just force herself to waltz this once? Just so that Cedar could dance at least one time? If she wasn't selfish, she should do this now.

But was she ready to dance in front of so many people? Not really.

Lucille looked at the center of the room and then at the prince before scolding herself. She would have to dance in public at some point. Then she might as well do it with the best dancer she knew. She lowered her gaze and spoke up in a whisper. “If you want to, we can go dance. I...need to gather the courage, or I will never dance during a ball.”

Cedar turned his attention to her and seemed slightly surprised. “Are you sure? We really don't have to do that just because people are expecting it.”

Lucille stared at the dance floor again before meeting his gaze. “It's fine. I have to do it at some point, right? I'm eighteen now, so I should grow up.” She slowly raised her hand and tapped Cedar's arm. “I would dance with you if you want to do it.” Even though she hoped that he didn't have the desire to do so.

But Cedar quickly showed her a bright smile again. “Then it seems like we should go dance now. My Lady?” He offered her his hand, and she reluctantly took it.

It felt like everyone was watching them while Cedar led Lucille toward the other couples. Maybe Cedar was being considerate, or it was just a coincidence, but he didn't bring her to the center of the room, which would have been seen by everyone. Apparently, the orchestra waited for them to position themselves because it only began playing when Cedar carefully put his arm around Lucille's waist.

She was glad that they had practiced a few times so that she could be sure that she wouldn't mess up completely. But she still felt like dying when the first sounds of the music echoed through the room and they began moving. Lucille closed her eyes again and ignored everything around her to focus on her feet and posture. She counted with the tact and forced herself to stay in sync with what Cedar did. She only needed to do this for a while longer, and then it would be fine.

As always, the prince didn't make a single mistake, so she could rely on him while setting her pace. Lucille did just that and avoided thinking as much as possible. She only focused on her movements, which proved to be a good idea.

She made it through the entire music piece without tripping.

The last tact sounded, and a wave of relief overcame her. Lucille opened her eyes and beamed at Cedar while opening her mouth to thank him. But the moment she did that, she realized that it had been a mistake. She had been so overjoyed that she hadn't paid attention to her steps anymore. That wouldn't have been a big issue if she hadn't attempted to correct it immediately. But she did just that, which made it worse. She moved too quickly and stepped onto the hem of her dress.

Her second attempt at keeping herself stable only made her fall in the other direction, which was slightly better but still problematic. She automatically reached for something that would keep her upright and slammed against Cedar with much more force than she had hoped for.

Thankfully, Cedar only took a small step back and kept both of them upright. To do that, he had been forced to put his arms around her though, which meant that they were hugging in the middle of the ballroom.

Lucille lifted her head in a panic, and a hundred different ways to apologize flooded her mind. She fully expected shock or annoyance but was surprised to find him grinning.

Cedar looked like he was amused when he spoke up. “Suddenly, you are rather assertive. If it's you, I might like it.” He squeezed her waist before slowly pushing her backward until she stood upright again.

Lucille felt how her face got hotter again and told herself that this was because she had almost tripped. “I... I'm sorry...” She barely dared to meet his gaze out of embarrassment. He was right despite joking about this. She had basically lunged toward him and put her arms around his body. In private, that might not have been an issue, but right now? She didn't look up to see the others' reactions and kept her eyes on the floor. “I didn't... I really didn't mean to do that. I-”

Cedar linked his arm with hers again and slowly pulled her away from the dance floor. “It's perfectly fine. You tripped, and I caught you. I'm glad that you came toward me and not in the other direction. That would have made me helping you much more apparent. But I think most people should not even have interpreted that as you falling. They might just think that you wanted to hug me.” Was that much better? If people believed them to be a couple, that would put the prince in a difficult spot. After all, his partner's chances for marriage might decrease if people thought that she had a lover.

Lucille would have liked to look up to confirm whether people really seemed like they believed that, but she didn't have the courage. She just stayed closer to Cedar and sheepishly glanced up at him. “But then rumors might...cause problems for you. I...didn't mean to do that in public. I'm really sorry.”

Cedar stopped in his tracks and turned to her to show her a confident smile. “Do you think I would care about rumors? I'm the person in noble society that is being treated with the most caution right now, so you have many more rumors to worry about. If I wanted to prevent gossip from spreading, I wouldn't have invited you when we already spent the last ball together. But I didn't pay attention to that, did I? That is because I truly don't care what other people think. I'm only spending time with you because I like you, and-” His eyes locked onto something behind her. Immediately, his smile became much brighter. “We have unwanted company.”

This could only refer to two people. The dowager empress' presence would already have been suffocating, so she wasn't here. That only left one person.

Lucille turned around and wasn't surprised to see Lady Peril in front of them.

Jenna held her fan up to cover her much too sweet grin. It was almost painful to see how much effort she put into not seeming angry. Maybe she wasn't exactly fuming, but there was an undeniable trace of frustration on her expression, and when she scanned Lucille, it felt like she was judging the other woman very harshly. Jenna took her time while fanning herself and approached the couple. She curtsied, and the look in her eyes became much different when she gazed at Cedar. “So, we truly happened to see each other again, Your Royal Highness. I coincidentally watched your dance just now, and I have to admit that I'm very impressed. I rarely met a person this skilled. You must have practiced since you were born.”

Cedar showed her his typical fake smile when he met her gaze. “It seems that you were right with your assumption. We have met again. You were correct about me having learned how to dance early too. As a member of the royal family, that is not very special though.”

Jenna closed her fan and slowly lowered it while beaming at the prince. “It is special. If you are skilled at something, you should be much more eager to show off how good you are. It is truly an honor for anyone to be able to stand at your side while you dance.” She glanced at Lucille and let out a barely audible chuckle. “Lady Valerian, I have to say that I'm jealous. If I had known that simply falling was enough to get His Royal Highness to catch me, I might have been more clumsy in the past.”

Cedar chimed in before Lucille could reply. “Well, Lucille is special. So, it would have been a bit different if it were you.” His wide smile made it seem like he was rather annoyed, so he probably meant that he would let Lady Peril fall to the floor on purpose.

Jenna pursed her lips for a moment and acted like she was playfully pouting but quickly smiled again. “Then I truly have to be jealous. After all, you always said that you dislike dancing. Since you never danced with anyone, I held back from asking you, but you proved that you are not only willing to dance but also very capable. It would be unfair if you only made an exception for Lady Valerian when the whole ballroom wishes for you to join them. Will you not grant me a single dance as well? I promise that I will not ask you again after that.”

Lucille rarely felt bad when people didn't talk to her. She usually liked being allowed to stay quiet, but right now, her presence was being ignored completely.

No one would ask a person with a partner for a dance. Especially not when you were there with your own spouse. But Jenna's husband wasn't anywhere to be seen, so she probably didn't see the need to hold back.

Lucille unwillingly tightened her grasp around Cedar, more because of her anger than because she feared that he would agree.

After all, the Cedar she knew would only give one answer. “I sincerely apologize, Lady Peril. But as you can see, I have a charming young lady I need to take care of here. Unfortunately, I am not able to split myself in two, so I will have to decline. I am afraid that I will also decline in the future. I am not fond of dancing and only agreed because I was asked to dance by Lucille.”

Jenna opened her fan with a click. “Oh?” She glanced at Lucille again. “That is very daring. I like it.” She didn't. Her fake grin showed that much. “You did well for dancing in public for the first time, Lady Valerian. Since you never did this before, no one will have paid attention to all the small mistakes. During the next ball, you will be much better after you practiced a lot.” She didn't wait for a response to this obvious ridicule either and just blabbered on while talking to Cedar. “I understand your reasoning, Your Royal Highness, and I am touched by how loyal you are to your partner. But Lady Valerian's father is here, is he not? Surely, it would be fine to leave her with him for a moment. Lady Valerian wouldn't disagree. Dancing with me might make you like waltzing a bit more too. I am a very skilled dancer. It would be a completely different experience. It will only be for one music piece, so Lady Valerian wouldn't mind. Right?” She looked at Lucille and immediately turned away again. It was obvious that she wanted to continue speaking.

But Cedar already looked like he planned a murder in his head with his smile being much too friendly.

And to be honest, Lucille was frustrated too. She might not be a good dancer, but being treated like this was still annoying. She didn't want to be ignored and set aside so that this woman could bother Cedar even more. Maybe her anger at Lady Peril for molesting Cedar seven years ago gave her some courage too. So, Lucille forced herself to speak up. “I would mind.” She hadn't been loud and hadn't dared to make eye contact either, but she had been honest.

Jenna hadn't expected that. She turned to the other woman and stared at her in confusion. She took a moment before restoring her smile and hiding her frustration. “Oh, my. I was not aware of that. I apologize. Then I will not disturb you two for much longer. But surely, you will not mind answering my question first.”

Lucille did mind, but she had already used up her courage for the day. “I don't. Please ask ahead.”

Jenna's smile became brighter, which was a bad sign. “I would like to know where you take your confidence and skill from. The first attempt did not work, but the second did, so I am quite impressed.”

Lucille pressed her lips into a thin line. She had no idea what the other woman was referring to. Asking Jenna only felt like inviting her to say something odd too. But in the end, she had no choice but to reply. “I fear that I do not understand what you could mean by saying that.”

Lady Peril looked to the sides before lifting her fan in front of her mouth. She spoke in a quiet voice when she continued. “Well, you are at His Royal Highness' side now. You have always been interested in the more...influential people. Wasn't His Majesty your target once too? That means that your second attempt worked despite the endeavor almost seeming impossible.”

It took Lucille a moment before she understood what Jenna was saying. A frown came onto her face, and she glanced up at Cedar. She had no idea what to say about that.

Luckily, Cedar just smiled down at her. “It seems like Lucille is just as confused as I am. Since she doesn't know what you are referring to, you must have made a mistake, Lady Peril. After all, what you just mentioned might rather be your strategy.”

Jenna quickly put on a surprised face. “What are you referring to? I would never accuse Lady Valerian of something inappropriate. Of course, I understand that it may have sounded like that, but it wasn't my intention. I sincerely apologize if you misunderstood. How about we speak about different things from now on?”

Cedar smiled at her. “I fear that there is not much time for us to stand around here. Lord Valerian is waiting for us, and my cousin also wanted to discuss something. We haven't greeted all of the guests yet either, and my brother will start to walk around soon. We have to take care of all of that before we can come back to chatting with you. I apologize.”

Lady Peril seemed to be dejected at that. “That is disappointing. But I am sure that we will have a chance to speak later again.” She put on a bright smile and quickly curtsied. “Goodbye, Your Royal Highness. Goodbye, Lady Valerian. I wish you a wonderful night. May you enjoy this ball to the fullest.”

Cedar only nodded at her. “Of course. We hope that you will enjoy it as well. Good night, Lady Peril.”

Lucille hinted at a curtsy as well. “Good evening, Lady Peril. May you have a joyous time here.”

She expected that Jenna would leave after that, but Cedar already moved first. He carefully pulled Lucille with him and steered toward the Vasquez family, maybe because they could grant them some kind of protection with a long conversation. After a few steps, he slowed his pace and began talking to Lucille. “I apologize for that conversation. Lady Peril is horrible. We should have gotten rid of her for the evening, but naturally, avoiding her entirely would have been even more pleasant. I'm sorry that we didn't manage to run away in time.”

Lucille glanced over her shoulder, only to find Jenna watching them. She felt the urge to show the other woman a quite unfriendly gesture, and the only thing holding her back was her lack of self-confidence. She hurried to turn away again and replied in a quiet voice. “Ah, it's fine. It wasn't your fault. And it wasn't that bad. She was extremely impolite, but more than that, she was confusing. Why did she say that part about His Majesty? I have no idea what I did to make her say that.”

Cedar let out a low chuckle, but it sounded rather unamused. “Of course, you don't. You don't seem like a seductress who runs around and collects hearts to me. She wanted to upset me. After all, it would be quite dejecting if I thought that you were aiming for my brother and then settled for me.”

Lucille stared at him for a moment. “Aiming?” She took a few seconds before understanding what he meant. No way. Jenna had been referring to what had happened a few months ago? That was ridiculous. “But I never-”

Cedar interrupted her before she could begin. “I know. You would have felt much more guilty if you had planned on doing something like that. And since I personally know that our meeting could not have been orchestrated by you, I am not very concerned about that. And there is another reason why I know that you couldn't be planning anything like grasping power by influencing men.” A little grin formed on his lips. “You are much too easily impressed for that. You wouldn't be blushing so often if you were used to this.” It was great that he was able to joke about this.

Lucille wasn't. She knew that Cedar hated losing to his brother, and being told that someone had attempted to get close to the emperor, only to fail and approach him would hurt him a lot. So, she felt the need to specify what this was about. She lifted her hand and tugged at his sleeve to keep him from turning around.

She wasn't sure whether she would find the right words to explain this, but she gave her best. “There was a time in which I talked to His Majesty a few times. But that was because of my father. He wanted me to create an opportunity for him to propose a business deal. So, I was only supposed to chat with His Majesty until Father came. It just was a normal conversation with me almost dying out of embarrassment, and that happened maybe three times. So, I'm not sure why she suddenly that turned into me trying to get closer to His Majesty. I was always rather...intimidated when I talked to him. Even wanting to give my father a chance to speak to him made me feel like I was doing something wrong.”

Cedar stopped and completely turned around to her. He showed her a smile, and to her relief, it seemed to be genuine. “I know, Lucille. I'm thankful that you are trying to reassure me, but you don't need to worry about that. I'm good at reading people and used to ones that have ulterior motives. If you tried to use me, I would have noticed, and I wouldn't have liked that very much. I know that you aren't like that. You don't need to worry about me misjudging you. Lady Peril would only jump to such conclusions because gaining a man's favor is her way of becoming more powerful. She sees romance, or rather seduction, as nothing but a tool to gain influence. She simply can't imagine that you would talk to someone without having ulterior motives.”

Lucille stayed quiet for a moment while trying to hide how relieved she was. Why had she been so worried at all? It would really have made her uncomfortable if Cedar had misunderstood this. “Good.” She lowered her gaze before quickly meeting his gaze again. “I mean...it's good that you know that I wasn't trying to...well...” She didn't even find the words to voice what she wanted to say here.

Still, Cedar smiled at her as if he wanted to reassure her. “I've known you for almost four months now. I happen to know that you are a good person. So, you don't need to be so worried about things like this.” He slowly turned to lead her forward again but stopped after just a few seconds. He gazed at her again and showed her a little smile before continuing in a lower voice. “Can I ask you a question?”

She quickly nodded.

Cedar spoke up immediately. “I heard some...stories about you. About you doing some things that don't seem to match your current personality. I heard that you caused trouble during the hunting festival by picking a fight with Duke Duremont's son. That seemed odd to me since you aren't the type of person that would do something like this. Did that happen because of something your father told you as well?”

Lucille nodded with more emphasis. “Yes. Father sometimes told me to purposefully make some other nobles angry. The easiest way to do that was to smirk at them while saying something insulting before running away. Then I could quickly act like I was confident before hiding. That caused more problems than it did me good, but at least I managed to do what my father told me to do then.”

Cedar was silent for a moment before he began leading Lucille toward their destination again. They walked a few steps before he leaned over to her and whispered. “I imagined something like that. But being more confident wouldn't hurt, especially when you face specific people. You have the emperor's, the empress' and my protection. There is no need for you to worry if you offend people that cause trouble. I explicitly mean Lady Peril since she will definitely trouble you after what happened today. My brother hates her and I do too, so you shouldn't worry about what happens if you insult her back.”

Lucille hadn't expected that. She looked up at him with confusion. “You mean I'm supposed to be disrespectful toward her?”

“Whenever you want.” Cedar showed her a smirk. “Especially if she mocks you again. She deserves it even like this, but if you are only the one replying to insults, she can't even complain.” He seemed much too satisfied imagining that.

Lucille still wasn't sure whether she could just insult a marchioness, and her lack of self-confidence made that much harder too. She didn't really want to stand there and accept insults from others, but defending herself sounded impossible when she knew how meek she was. The whole ball had reminded her of that once again.

Though, the thought of being with Cedar made her a bit more confident.

For the rest of the evening, no one troublesome came to talk to them. Still, Lucille was tense and felt like they were being watched the whole time. When she checked who might be observing them, the result quickly became obvious.

It looked like many people were interested in the prince and his companion, but they didn't seem to be upset. The guests were mainly curious.

That didn't make the fact that the dowager empress was glaring at the couple without a break any better though. After all, she carried pure hatred in her gaze.