The Broken Prince's Love

It had taken exactly two hours. Cedar hadn't expected anything else, but it was still frustrating.

He had discussed it with his brother for a while but quickly realized that the decision had been made. Camille would be allowed to come to the royal estate again. Cedar could be as upset as he wanted to be. He could fume and worry while panicking about what his mother would do. It didn't matter.

The preparations were made, and the dowager empress arrived two days after the confinement mansion had burned down.

Obviously, Cedar hadn't gone to the entrance to greet her. He also hadn't visited the residence in which his mother would live now. He had told himself that it would be fine. He probably wouldn't see her at all. Camille wouldn't be able to roam inside the palace freely, so he should feel safe here. For some reason, he hadn't been able to relax though, and that feeling proved to have been accurate.

Cedar's day had been bad enough, so it was almost expected that it would get even worse. He had been in the middle of visiting the library to read up on some strange things his brother had said when he spotted that one annoying guard again. The one that had provoked him twice already.

The prince considered avoiding him completely but just decided to go straight toward the entrance. That had been a mistake.

As soon as the guards saw him, they stopped their conversation. A smug grin appeared on the annoying man's face. “Look who it is. His Royal Highness. Have you come to pick out romance novels again?”

Cedar didn't have the nerve to deal with him now. He was pretty sure that he wouldn't lose his temper, but his patience was hanging by a thread, and he didn't want to risk it. “I wish I had time to do that. My brother makes me read about Artias' economy. So, would you please refrain from causing a commotion this time again? I don't have the motivation to deal with you.”

The prince hadn't intended to upset the others with his words, but the guard seemed to be taken aback by that. “His Majesty? There is no way. What would he gain by making you read about that? He certainly doesn't need your assistance to govern the nation.” Someone seemed to be on edge today too. There was no other reason for the guard to glare at the prince otherwise.

Cedar sighed and tried to ignore the urge to put on a more intimidating smile while he replied. “Look. I don't have the desire to do this again. I had a duel with my brother and was told that you would stop acting like brats afterward. If that doesn't help, I don't mind taking away your weapon again. I don't need you to be distracted to win. So, stop-” He was cut off.

At first, he thought that this might have been good since he had been in the middle of threatening the other man. But then he recognized that voice.

“Cedar!”

He should have known it. It had only been two hours since his mother had arrived, and she had already found a way to get to him. The dowager empress had always been persistent, so this wasn't a surprise.

Judging by the guards' expressions when they looked behind the prince, they truly hadn't expected to see her though.

Cedar gnashed his teeth for a moment before he looked at the knights while still beaming at them. “By the gods. How did she get in here? I am rather sure that Theodore didn't tell you to let her in. Do you even know about her being here?”

The guards seemed rather shocked, which only proved that they weren't prepared to drag out the dowager empress. The second man barely dared to raise his voice when he responded. “We were informed about her presence, but...she shouldn't be here today already.”

Cedar could imagine what had suddenly sped up her arrival. His mother had probably nagged the coachman until they had left a bit earlier. So, she had arrived at noon instead of in the evening and had won a day here. How perfect. Now the prince would have to face her despite wishing to avoid that more than anything.

Cedar kept staring at the guards and showed them a wide grin. “Well, now you know that she is here. Is she supposed to come into the palace? I don't think so. How come you keep me from entering a library and can't even keep her out? She never lifted a weapon in her life and is in her fifties. And you pick a fight with me while not daring to arrest her? Sometimes, I think this whole palace is only filled with morons.” He hadn't meant to be so harsh, but he was rather annoyed now.

Especially since a pair of footsteps sped up, only to slow down behind him. “Cedar!” His mother called his name a few more times.

Cedar gave himself a moment to take a deep breath before he turned around with a blinding smile. “Mother. What a surprise to see you here.”

Camille had truly appeared in the palace, being accompanied by a young maid she barely paid attention to. She had dressed up in a fancy dress in the royal colors while styling her hair in the usual stern up-do, with two strands framing her face. It was clear that she tried to keep up appearances with the expensive necklace around her neck and the neat attire, but she couldn't hide it.

Camille didn't look too good right now. It seemed like she had aged overnight, which still allowed her to seem rather young for her age, but the difference was visible. She hadn't slept well for the past few days, but that didn't make the intimidating aura around her nor the coldness in her light brown eyes disappear. She immediately came much too close to her son when she spoke up. “Cedar, you were here! I was so worried about you. You didn't write me a single letter. I didn't even know how your injury was! Please don't tell me that you are still in pain.” Did she act like she cared now? That was rather useless when she hadn't asked him last time.

Cedar just smiled at her. “I am not in pain anymore. So, there isn't much to talk about in regard to me. I am more curious about why you decided to come here. Did you ask for permission? Theodore-”

Camille acted like he hadn't said that just now. She kept rambling without giving him a break. “But you can't just stop writing! I had no idea how you were doing. I couldn't have known whether your brother did something bad to you or whether you were lured into some sort of trap. And you didn't give me a chance to properly speak last time! I wanted to apologize for the fight we had before you ran away. That was why you are so upset now, right?” What was she talking about?

The two of them had fought, but that had been an act. They had pretended to yell at each other so that this could be seen as the moment that Cedar decided to run away. To prepare everything until Theodore accepted his brother into the palace again.

But obviously, the prince didn't care much about that fake fight. “You are mistaken. I am upset, but that is not because of that meaningless conflict. There are several reasons, including your ignorance of rules. As I tried to tell you kindly, you have no right to be here. So, would you please-”

The dowager empress didn't let him finish. She just continued blabbering. “Cedar, what are you saying? This is the royal palace! This is our home. Of course, we can be here.” She took a step toward him, most likely to hug him but was stopped by the guards, who she only seemed to notice now.

The knights had finally reacted to seeing a person who shouldn't be here in the royal palace. They didn't dare to touch her, but they held their swords toward her. Obviously, that didn't have the desired effect on a woman who was as prideful as Camille.

Instead of being scared, the dowager empress just straightened her posture, and rage overcame her features. She raised her voice without even hesitating for a second. “Lower your weapons, you insolent imbeciles. I am the dowager empress of Artias. How can you dare to aim your swords at me?” If she continued like this, which she certainly would, this would end with the guards carrying her out of the palace.

Cedar didn't need to see that. He also didn't have the desire to mediate, but he still added one little comment. “You entered the royal palace without permission, Mother. That's enough of a reason, isn't it? Maybe raising your voice also doesn't make it seem like your intentions are good. You should just calmly follow them and get an appointment with Theodore if you want to come here.”

Camille's gaze snapped to him, and she almost looked revolted. “So, I am supposed to ask my own son about whether I'm allowed to come into my home? That is ridiculous. I was promised protection in the royal palace, so I have the right to live here. Every staff member has to obey the royal family, so these guards had no reason to threaten me.”

For a moment, Cedar just considered turning around and leaving. He didn't want to deal with all of this and would rather lock himself in his room. But in the end, he gave in and replied. “Those are the royal guards though. They listen to the emperor only. And they are supposed to keep unwanted visitors away. Since Theodore certainly did not invite you for tea, they have every right to guide you out. After our last appearance here, you can't blame them for being overly cautious either. So, how about we make it easy for everyone here, and you just go out with them?” He didn't expect that to work. Unsurprisingly, he was correct in his assumption.

Camille was fuming by now and made an exaggerated gesture, which almost made her hit the maid beside her. “I won't go just like that! I came here to talk to you. I won't leave until you listen.” That was the worst threat she could have come up with.

“I see. I don't want to talk to you though.” Cedar turned around and prepared to leave. As expected, hysteric yelling kept him from doing so unless he wanted the whole palace to be woken up by this.

“Cedar! You can't leave like that! Come back here immediately! You-”

He spun around again and replied with more annoyance than he had wanted to show. “What?”

Camille raised her chin and spoke in a tone that made it seem like she expected him to listen. “You will stay here and talk to me. If you obey for five minutes, I will quietly leave afterward.” The prince doubted it. His mother's memory was often selective when it came to things she did and didn't want to remember.

But it was worth a try. At least this would probably be over faster than the lecture about how Cedar couldn't dare to ignore his mother would be.

Cedar scanned the woman in front of him and the guards, which seemed rather indecisive, between them. “Fine. But make it quick. After all, I don't have much to tell you anymore, and I don't want to listen to lies either. I heard that the mansion coincidentally burned down. How horrible.”

Camille hurriedly nodded. “I know. Some servant seemed to have accepted bribes for setting that house on fire. I almost would have burned to death.” Which would have been rather ironic since she had often hired others to set houses on fire in the past. “Someone wishes to end my life, so I have to move into the palace so that I will be safe here, do you understand? The fire was traumatic.” She began explaining how horrible that event had been and how scared she had been upon seeing the fire. She certainly did her best to make herself seem like the victim.

Cedar listened with half an ear while scanning their surroundings. If his mother got really hysteric, he would need to warn the servants around them. The guards could defend themselves, but whether the rest could was questionable. While he looked around, his eyes fell on a maid who was standing behind the dowager empress.

That woman seemed to be Camille's new attendant for the time being. Cedar recognized that girl. She was friends with Harris. It had been clever of Theodore to choose her. She probably hated the dowager empress for how Harris had been blackmailed and was loyal to the emperor while also knowing how to act well enough to fool Camille.

The prince quickly averted his gaze and made eye contact with his mother again.

Maybe Camille had seen how bored he was since she immediately changed the topic. “Now that I'm finally here, we can fix everything. We can find the vile people that wished to kill us, and we'll pay them back. And we can finally reconcile. Cedar, come meet me for a cup of tea. That's the least you could do for your poor mother. You have to visit me at least once a week. We need to talk about what happened after all.” Definitely not. Talking to her once was exhausting enough.

Cedar wouldn't rush into a meeting when he knew that all that would happen would be her showering him with fake affection to lure him back. He wouldn't fall for that. He couldn't. Cedar put on a little smile as he responded. “I feel like our definitions of ‘I don't want to have any contact with you in the future’ differ a bit. I was referring to the literal sense. I do not have any desire to support you from now on. You should have understood that after I wrote you ten letters saying the same thing. So, please do try to keep your distance.”

Saying that was much harder than it should be. The voice in the back of his mind yelled at him and told him to agree so that his mother would smile at him and be content. He quickly silenced that by reminding himself of another vase that had hit his head at some point.

Camille hadn't expected that response despite it being obvious. As her eyes widened, she raised her trembling voice again. “You... You...can't be serious. You must notice that something is wrong with you too. Who told you to act like this? Was it your brother or that whore?”

Cedar sighed without holding back now and glanced down the hallway. He had just checked whether there was enough space for him to run away at any moment but found a group of people.

They were at the end of the corridor and easy to recognize. Such a huge entourage could only belong to the emperor and the empress of Artias. Cedar recognized his brother quickly. Theodore watched the scene with a cold expression while holding his wife's arm. He didn't seem shocked though, so it seemed like this whole endeavor was planned. The emperor had known that his mother would rush in, which was a bit calming. It was easy to see what he wanted to do. For once, Cedar was willing to oblige.

There was only one issue.

Lucille was with them too. Her red hair was basically glowing, so she stood out much more than the others. While her presence would usually fill Cedar with joy, it made his heart skip a beat for another reason now. Suddenly, he felt much tenser, dreading what would happen in just a few moments as the worst options came to his mind.

Cedar didn't want Lucille to meet his mother at all. But at the same time, he didn't want to run off already. He had said that he would give Camille five minutes. Even though that would be horrible, he would endure it. So, he lifted three fingers to show Theodore, who nodded at him, that he would take three more minutes. In return, he hoped that the emperor would keep Lucille close to him and his guards to avoid any accidents.

That gesture was enough to make the dowager empress turn around. Of course, she recognized her hated son instantly. She clenched her jaw and fumed when she spun back around to glare at Cedar. “How can you even sleep knowing that that person is here? He killed your father and wants to get rid of us by accusing us of treason. He is the vile one, the monster, the person we need to destroy. Theodore is-”

Cedar could see how the guards next to them got more upset with each word, so he spoke up before she could insult the emperor. “Theodore is the person who took you in to protect you from the alleged assassination attempt. You should show a little respect. Father died because of a long sickness, and you know that very well.” To be honest, the former emperor had suffered for months and had begged Theodore to end his life until his son had obeyed. So, one couldn't really make Theodore the bad one here. “And regarding the assassination attempts, I don't have anything to say.” His mother had truly planned to kill Theodore multiple times, and it had always failed. When she was accused of this, she always denied it, but everyone knew the truth anyway.

Camille didn't seem to like being corrected very much. She narrowed her eyes at Cedar before turning around again. She scanned the group at the other end of the hallway for a moment before speaking up again. This time, her expression was even more grim. “Is that red-haired woman Lucille Valerian?”

Cedar's first instinct was to lash out. He wanted to say that this wasn't his mother's business and tell her to leave Lucille alone. But that would only make everything Camille already knew more obvious. So, Cedar forced himself to reply in a calm voice, even when he was almost a bit nauseous as he tried to sound unaffected. “Indeed. She is Her Majesty's lady-in-waiting, so she lives in the palace. Is there an issue with that?” Seemingly, that was an even bigger one than he had expected.

Camille's whole face was overcome with nothing but burning fury. She gritted her teeth but didn't explain why she was so upset. The fact that her son cared for Lucille might have been enough to ensure that she would get so angry, but he wasn't quite sure.

Cedar stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking again, attempting to end this conversation. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

Seemingly not, since Camille found her voice again. She spoke in a tone that was filled with nothing but layered resentment that had been in her heart for so long that she was slowly going insane. “You will see that you are making a mistake. You are just dependent on her because she acts like a saint while using you for her own dirty schemes.” So, her problem was Lucille. That was surprising. Normally, she would rather complain about Theodore, but it seemed like losing her second son wasn't pleasant to her either.

Cedar didn't like that at all. When his mother hated someone, she would do her best to ruin that person. Lucille didn't deserve anything like that happening to her. Even so, he didn't dare to use a harsher tone and hoped to cover up his worries with a smile. “I doubt it. If that's her goal, tell me what she wants. Power, money, a position in the palace? You can't answer because you don't even know her. It would be hard for you to judge her personality. Besides, it's called liking someone, not being dependent on them. Your definition of those two seems to blur.”

Camille balled her hands next to her hips and narrowed her eyes at Cedar. “You shouldn't defend her when you are condemning me. What's the difference between me and her? I heard about the last ball. She calls, and you run to her to tend to her every need. Why is it suddenly not alright for me to call for you anymore? I always gave you all of my love and affection. Suddenly, you get close to such a person and forget all of that?”

The prince shouldn't have the desire to discuss this when his relationship with his mother clearly wasn't the same as the one he had with Lucille, but for some reason, it felt like it was important for him to defend Lucille here. So, he immediately responded. “There is a huge difference between you and Lucille. Have you noticed that? Because you always call for help and expect everyone to drop what they are doing to join your side and take care of the problems you caused. You never offer anyone else help. The love you claim to give is only supposed to manipulate others into following your every word. It's different for Lucille. She also answers when I call for her and gives me support. So, I obviously don't mind helping her out when she is bothered by the schemes of a woman who may or may not be your ally.”

It felt weird to say that out loud. Surely, Cedar had always known that his mother was purposefully making him dependent on her and that she manipulated him with all she had. But he had never told her this to her face nor had he dared to express his dismay about that. Now the words had just flowed out as he couldn't stop them.

His mother completely ignored that accusation though and just replied with a grim expression and deep wrinkles on her forehead. “She doesn't care about you.” That was her issue?

Cedar didn't have to think long before refuting that. “Seemingly, she cares more than you do. She never tried to use my triggers against me.” To be honest, Lucille also didn't know about most of them. But she had also never tried to make him feel bad on purpose, so he knew that she wouldn't try to use them even if she found out about them. That was more than what he could expect from his mother or anyone else in his life.

Camille's face flashed with realization, and she averted her gaze for a second. “That was...just... You made me upset.” What kind of excuse was that?

“You made me upset too. Did I purposefully mention Althea? No. I also never threw vases at you.”

The dowager empress met his gaze this time and raised her chin while responding. “You could have caught those. I made sure that you would be able to react to such things.” What an excuse.

The prince's patience was slowly slipping away. So, he would wrap it up quickly. “I caught one once. You were even more upset afterward. Do you see the pattern here? You don't care.” And again, saying that felt odd even when he knew the truth. He forced himself to continue anyway. “You have problems, Mother. I would help you get over them, but frankly, I have enough issues I need to deal with myself thanks to you. That is why I asked you to stay out of my life. If you act like this, it will not raise my desire to return to you.” By the gods, he hated himself for saying that. It felt like he was driving an ice pick into his own heart while every fiber of his body screamed at him to stop.

But he couldn't stop here. He reminded himself of the many dead servants in the Valerian's estate. All those people had died for nothing, just because his mother had been jealous. He couldn't let that continue. Having ignored all other dead before wasn't an excuse for him to do it now.

Camille didn't snap at him like he had expected. Instead of her typical violent outbursts, silence followed. She slowly turned her back to the people at the end of the hallway. When she directed her eyes at her son again, her expression was cold. “If that girl is gone, will you come back to me? She is the one that fed you lies, isn't she?” It seemed like she still blamed everything on another person, preferably a random woman who had gotten closer to a member of the Estien family.

She had just made the mistake of threatening Lucille. And her threats were serious.

Cedar felt that his smile turned into a wider one too. He probably looked angry right now, even though he tried to hide it. “If you try to hurt her, I will use everything you taught me against you. Don't make me do that. That wouldn't be pretty. I just got over my anger issues, I don't want them back.” That had been too honest, which immediately made Cedar upset with himself, but he didn't get the expected response.

Camille met his gaze for a few more seconds before gazing to the side. She took her time scanning someone before a faint smile spread on her lips, which wasn't a good sign. She turned back to her son and took a step forward. For some reason, none of the guards intervened as she reached up to cup his cheek while whispering to him. “You would never hurt me. We both know that. I will make you come back. You need me, much like I need you. No one can pester your mind enough to make you forget that.” She gave him a sickening smile as she stroked over his cheek.

Cedar's instinct told him to lean into her touch, to relish in this little sign of affection since he wouldn't get much more soon. The only thing that saved him was knowing that Lucille was watching. He didn't want to show her how weak he was, so he would force himself to be a bit stronger. “We'll see.” He pushed his mother's hand off and turned around to walk toward his brother. “Five minutes are over. Go home now, and don't cause a scene. You're not allowed to be here, so you should leave. The guards are just doing their job without wanting to insult you. Goodbye, Mother. Have a nice life.” He didn't dare to hope that he would never see her again, but he wanted to be honest about his intentions.

He didn't get far before Camille raised her voice to speak to him again. “Cedar. You won't become happy like this. You know that.”

He ignored that. Cedar hadn't been happy before, so it couldn't get much worse. Unless something happened to Lucille. In that case, he might be even more unstable than before. But he wouldn't just quietly sit at the side while something like that happened either.

Cedar would do everything in his power to protect Lucille. And while doing that would be exhausting and wear him down due to his mother's meddling, he would be happy to do it. Lucille might be the person that gave him the most strength right now.

And he needed all the strength he could get if he dreamed about defying his mother from now on.