The Broken Prince's Love

Not many people would prepare for a meeting with their own mother with such great care. Cedar had made sure to keep a small dagger and wore an attire he could run with, just in case. He knew that nothing should happen since he was the only one who could fight. But still, he would like to avoid a physical conflict, even if he couldn't prevent his mother from lashing out if she snapped. He was prepared to act either way.

He was the person that knew her best. So, he had laid out multiple plans on how to act when she did something specific. It was unlikely that she would do something completely different, and yet, Cedar couldn't stop worrying.

The prince had made sure that the hallway was empty thrice and still gave himself two more chances to confirm. He only moved out from his hiding place when he listened and heard no footsteps close to him. If anyone followed him, they were a professional, and Cedar couldn't do anything about that. He tiptoed to the grandfather clock and slowly began searching the left side for a little handle. When he found that and pushed it, the side of the clock opened to reveal a narrow pathway that led into the wall.

Cedar squeezed himself into the pathway, only to close the door right behind him. Now it was almost completely dark inside here so that he could only follow the wall and move sideways in hopes of not running into any spiderwebs. This was one of the oldest secret pathways in the palace, so his odds of being lucky in that regard were low.

He wasn't even sure whether Theodore knew about this path. After all, the paranoid emperor probably wouldn't have left a direct way from the palace to one of the mansions within the royal estate. Cedar would probably tell him about this tomorrow so that Theodore could close it, if he hadn't noticed on his own by then. For today, it was good that he could still use it though.

The prince pushed himself forward and let out a sigh of relief when the path finally became broader. At that point, he could walk normally again, which was much more pleasant than being pressed in between two walls. It was still dark, but he would manage as long as there weren't any sudden twists and turns.

Cedar seemed to be fortunate when it came to that until he reached the end of the first pathway. Then he had to move down a spiral staircase that was so narrow that he was almost circling on the spot. He couldn't fall thanks to the tight walls, but he also couldn't see, which made this a little unpleasant.

When he finally reached the cellar level, a long broad pathway greeted him. Now he would only need to walk straight until he reached the mansion. He allowed himself to speed up a little here but only so much that he wouldn't run into any walls and that he wouldn't make too much noise.

It felt like it took an eternity nevertheless, after all, he tried to cross a distance that would normally be traveled with a carriage. Cedar had probably walked for twenty minutes or so when he finally noticed that the path was going up. He slowed down and prepared to reach the end, which was good since he barely avoided running into a wall when the path took a sudden left.

After another minute, he reached a ladder, which he climbed up. Upon opening the hatch on top, he found himself in a small bath. Apparently, the escape route had been hidden as a clothing basket. Cedar was careful not to make any noise when he climbed out. If he was right, he should be in the cellar.

Then his mother was probably waiting at the end of the long staircase in the living room. She had never cared much about being subtle, so she wouldn't even think about hiding that she was currently not in confinement, where she should be. She deserved to be caught, but since Cedar was here too, he hoped that that wouldn't happen. He didn't need to be seen as a traitor now that he had made his decision. He only needed a few more minutes to prove himself, so he hoped that he would get that chance before anyone intervened.

Cedar took a short moment to orient himself before he found the staircase he was searching for. He went upstairs and didn't bother to ask himself why no guards were here. Either no one cared enough to patrol here in the usually empty building, or those people had been taken care of. He suspected that it was the latter option.

That was a risky thing. But then again, this was what he needed.

Cedar opened the door at the end of the staircase with caution and looked around for a moment before trusting the silence. He relaxed a bit when he found the men with the black masks who sat in front of the door to the living room. That they were here proved that his mother had arrived too. He just needed to make sure that they wouldn't be here when Camille was yelling. That was easy enough to do. He nodded at them when he arrived. “Swarm out, and check the surroundings. No one can come close to the building.” He didn't look at anyone specifically to hide his uncertainty, but he saw how they jumped up to listen to him.

Good. No one seemed to doubt his power yet. His mother had no idea.

No one worried about him being followed either.

Cedar put his hand on the door handle and considered pushing it open without a warning. But in the end, he decided to knock and enter then.

When he came into the room, the fireplace was already lit. That the smoke could be seen by someone outside and alert knights seemed to be completely unimportant. Cedar almost wanted to sigh at that already, but he forced himself to stay quiet in favor of smiling at his mother.

Camille Estien was in her fifties now but still a sight to behold. The dowager empress exhibited the aura of a stern and majestic ruler, at least when she wasn't having a hysteric fit. Either way, she was intimidating. Many people couldn't deal with her presence and avoided her because of that.

Cedar was used to it, but even he could see why others hated his mother so much.

Camille made everyone feel like she was looking down on them. Her light blue hair already was a bit more silver than Cedar's, and she wore it in an up-styled bun with two strands still framing the sides of her face. That was a typical hairstyle of a strict empress, and in her case, it only emphasized her cold brown eyes. Normally, a stoic expression graced her face, but right now, it was different.

Camille had noticed her son and stood up from the sofa. She had probably missed him for real this time. For the most part, she didn't have such a bright smile on her face when she saw him after all. “Cedar. My dear, there you are.” She came toward him, which was unusual for her as well, and extended her arms.

Cedar was used to coming to her whenever she demanded it, so staying still was much harder than it should be. He unwillingly tensed and felt how his smile widened.

His mother didn't notice anything about his struggle though. She closed the distance between them and put her arms around him. As expected, it didn't feel warm or wonderful at all. This was once again one of the cold hugs that the prince had known since his childhood. Camille didn't even stay in this position for long. She quickly went back a bit to put her hands on her son's cheeks and squeezed his face, which caused her long fingernails to brush over his skin in an unpleasant manner. “Let me look at you. It's been three months since I saw you. You've grown up a little bit, haven't you? How much changed in so little time.” Indeed. She had no idea how much truly had changed.

Cedar would reveal it to her soon, but he needed a short moment before doing it. He would enjoy the last moments of peace first. “It seems like even a few weeks can turn over the whole world. Hello, Mother.”

The dowager empress smiled up at him and squeezed his cheeks again, without any intention of letting go. “It always seems like that. I remember picking you up when you were as big as my arms. And now, you are all grown up and ready to take over the world with your abilities. Everything that you want will belong to you.” She patted his cheeks again. “How was life in the palace? Did you have any issues? Do we need to get rid of someone? Did anyone suspect our plan?”

Cedar beamed at her without being able to move his head away from her iron-like grip. “Nothing much happened. No issues. No people I need to be gone. No one doubts me. I would give you the longer version, but I fear that we won't have the time. Unfortunately, I cannot stay for long. I need to make sure that no one notices I'm gone after all.”

Camille nodded at that and finally released his face. “Of course. But you can't just leave after a moment. Come sit with me for ten minutes. I brought you some snacks to cheer you up.” She didn't even listen to his reply before grabbing his arm and then dragging him toward the sofa.

The little table in front of it was neatly decorated with two tiered cake stands and a pot of steaming tea. It looked like there was honey candy as well along with some strawberry tart. Seemingly, his mother was desperate if she brought everything she thought him to like. Thus, it wasn't surprising that she clung to his arm so tightly that it felt like she would rip it off.

Camille made her son sit down next to him and still didn't let go. Instead, she leaned against him and raised her free hand to pat his head. Right now, it seemed like she was scared of losing him, so she was even more clingy than usual.

Cedar had enjoyed that in the past since it had been the closest to receiving affection he had ever gotten, but now he could barely wait before leaving. He wanted to see Lucille, who would hug him in a manner that made him relax instead of tense.

Was it normal for him to be so indifferent about his mother? Definitely not. He had been raised to be completely dependent on her. So, he should fall right back into her hands when she was here. But it seemed like something was holding him back this time. He wasn't sure what that was, but he assumed that it was the fact that he now knew that real affection felt different.

Cedar didn't want this hollow excuse. He wanted real comfort. He wouldn't get that from his mother, so he was ready to let go. Most likely, reality would catch up with him in a short while, and he would remember his childhood in just a few hours. Then he might already regret cutting his ties to her. But right now, he only wanted to get it over with. He would be careful while beginning the topic, watch her reaction and then leave. There shouldn't be any issues.

Camille had been quiet for a surprisingly long amount of time, and so, it wasn't odd for her to begin soon again. “You know, it was horrible not to hear from you for so long. And then we had to exchange those awful letters. I was so worried about whether you would take that well. I didn't want you to break down, so I thought about sending you another note, but that was too risky.” Of course, she saw him as weak as possible. She should know that he hadn't had any breakdowns in years, and still, she acted like she was the only thing that was keeping him from having one. Her mental state was much worse than his. Yet, she had to feel like she was needed more than anything else.

Cedar listened until she was finished and gave her a wide fake smile. “It was better that you didn't send one. I took it well. I told you what you were supposed to write before, didn't I? And I also asked you to be direct in your letter. You just stuck to the plan. That was perfect. Theodore found the letter as planned, so he would have found anything else too.”

Normally, mentioning his brother was an easy way to get Camille to fume and complain about her oldest son. But today, she seemed too focused on her fear of abandonment. She only kept staring at Cedar, and her expression became a bit more serious as she spoke up. “I know, but I still worried. Especially when nothing went right during the attack. You said that getting wounded would allow you to sneak into the palace. After all, me hurting you would prove that we are fighting. But actually sitting at home while those men were supposed to aim at you broke my heart. In the end, I am glad the arrow didn't hit you at all. I was so relieved when I heard that you were fine.” She stroked over his head again and ruffled through his hair.

Cedar held back a comment about how it definitely wasn't good that the arrow had hit Lucille and replied in an emphasized calm voice. “In the end, nothing ended up like it was supposed to. Did you not want to send me a specific gift before the designated day to warn me? I couldn't be sure whether we would stick to the discussed date, so I asked for that as a confirmation. And you even changed the day without informing me first. I also believe that ordering those men to kill everyone in the estate wasn't part of the plan either. Our goal was to have no causalities except for me being wounded, remember?”

Camille held one hand in front of her mouth as a trace of regret appeared on her face. “I...do remember. I did not want to go that far either. But...I could not hold back. I truly didn't want to catch you off guard. But I was already...worried about that woman. And in the end, you also deviated from the plan, so you can't blame me. You never were supposed to kill any of our men. It made everything much more believable, but still. I would have sent the ones we dislike if you had warned me.” It was a bit hypocritical to tell him to warn her when she had been the one not to do it.

Cedar glanced at her face and was silent for a moment before he couldn't hold back anymore and replied. “I didn't plan on killing them. But as I said, it wasn't planned for them to kill the innocent people in that house either. They had nothing to do with the conflict. I would even guess that they were only silenced to avoid waking me.”

Camille's face scrunched up for a second. That was enough to reveal that she would change the topic. And that was exactly what she did. “That day was unfortunate. But at least you came to the palace without getting hurt. Are you sure that everything is going forward without any issues? I can intervene at any given time if necessary. I know that we should hide our followers for now, but it would be better to ensure that no one troubles you. The most important part is that your brother trusts you fully so that he will lower your guard around you. Did you confirm whether he has gotten better at sword-fighting?”

Cedar would normally be honest, but he felt like Theodore suddenly becoming a genius might be a good advantage if one kept it a secret. So, he challenged his acting skills and made eye contact with his mother while lying to her face. “I did not. He doesn't seem to train at all though.” Theodore trained daily. “He may be as good as a royal knight by now, but it's nothing special.” It seemed like even saying that while knowing that Theodore was as good as him sounded convincing.

Camille's small smirk returned. “Good. Then the rest was simply luck. That will make things much easier. Is there anything new in the palace? Something that I need to be aware of?”

Cedar shook his head. “Nothing. Did something happen in the mansion?” He doubted that his mother would mention her breakdowns and how she had almost killed a servant by throwing them down the stairs. But he still asked in case something had happened in his absence. He needed all the information he could get out of her right now. After all, he would need to prepare for war after this conversation.

Camille was quick to deny everything. “Nothing special. The servants are as incapable as always, and the investigation was annoying. That arrogant advisor came. The one that almost broke my leg. That bastard had the nerve to show up while he was searching for you. I showed him the best act of me being hysteric that I could, and then he left.” She probably meant to say that she had had a fit while Leonard had been there, but Cedar didn't care much. “After all, he has to believe that you left me. But of course, you would never do that.” She smiled at her son and reached up to squish his cheek between two fingers.

Cedar didn't even enjoy her doing this anymore. He just wanted to prepare everything he needed to say. “I just remembered. I do need to tell you one thing. From now on, I would suggest that Reeve doesn't come to the palace anymore. I don't want him to be captured.”

His mother held still for a moment before she replied. “But we need to exchange letters. How will that be possible?” He wouldn't send letters to her at all anymore. And he wouldn't read hers. That was easy to understand. Cedar was a second away from saying that when Camille already continued. “And I also need him to keep an eye on everything.” Her expression darkened, and her grasp on his arm tightened. “I don't trust that woman one bit.” Her voice was layered with poison when she said that.

Ceder wasn't surprised. He could already guess what this was about. He put on a bright smile as he acted dumb for the moment. “Which one do you mean? You have quite a few women you dislike.” This could either be Althea, Blanche or, the most logical person in this context, Lucille.

Camille confirmed his guess a moment later with a sour expression. “Unfortunately, you are correct. There are too many filthy harlots that approach our family. It almost seems like a curse. Your father and brother are too blind to see the truth, so I am extremely worried about you. In this case, I was referring to the redhead.” She had never paid much attention to Lucille, and now she seemed to hate her with the same burning intensity she hated Blanche with. It was concerning to see how quickly Camille began to resent without even needing to speak to the concerned person.

Cedar leaned against the backrest and prepared for a long speech about how horrible Lucille was. He wasn't disappointed.

His mother narrowed her eyes as she began talking. “She suddenly thinks that she can stand on equal ground with you just because you gave her a bit of attention. How pathetic. She is merely a viscount's daughter without anything special about her. She isn't remarkable in any way. She isn't pretty or intelligent and still believes that she could impress you. Oh, please.” Camille gritted her teeth before she continued. “If she was admiring you from afar, I could forgive her for her insolence. But she went way too far. That redhead actually dared to touch you and even forced you to escort her by throwing herself at you like that. What a manipulative little witch. She approached another man, and when he followed her, she suddenly made herself out to be the victim. I have rarely seen a cunning bug like her. She is almost like that wench that bewitched your father.”

Once again, his mother's mind did its thing. She twisted and turned the truth until it was to her liking and blamed completely innocent people.

By now, Cedar was already at the end of his patience. He was used to the trace of misogyny that the dowager empress seemed to develop whenever other women were close to members of the royal family. Arguing rarely helped and only led to her accusing him of being fooled by those around him. But when she said something like this about Lucille, he found himself getting even more irritated than usual. And maybe he could be honest about that for once. At some point, he would have to start anyway.

Cedar collected his thoughts for a moment while ignoring what his mother was going on about. Right now, she was in the middle of offending the woman he cared about, so wasn't this the right time to finally stop this? He waited until she took a breath before speaking up. “It's Lucille.”

Camille froze in the middle of her narration. “What?” She genuinely seemed to have no idea what him suddenly saying that name was supposed to mean.

So, Cedar helped her out a bit by continuing. “Her name is Lucille. She is a wonderful, kind, young lady and not what you accused her of being. She never threw herself at me, and she didn't force me to do anything either. She isn't calculative or vile. Merely a bit naive.” And he hoped that her desire to trust others wouldn't hurt her again like it had hurt her because he had used that exact trait for his benefit.

The dowager empress' face scrunched up for a moment before she relaxed. “I see. If she is naive, you can easily make her help us, right? So, you intend to use her to fool your brother? You will act like you care about her to remind him of his stupid little romance so that he will pity you.” Seemingly, she didn't get it. Either she didn't want to understand, or the thought had never crossed her mind.

The prince smiled at her before he slowly directed the conversation in the direction he needed it to go. “Actually, that isn't the plan anymore. I have a much better idea.”

Camille seemed to believe in his undying loyalty. She didn't even worry for a single second. “If that plan includes getting rid of your brother and his filthy wife, I will gladly listen. You've always been the one who came up with the most intelligent schemes. I will do my best to ensure we reach our goal in just a few months. We will make you emperor, no matter what it takes.”

That was the problem.

Cedar finally had the chance to speak up here. He slowly moved away a little to turn to his mother and smiled at her while he said what would reveal all of his intentions. “Mother. There is one little issue with that plan. I don't want to be emperor.”