The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar had to admit that he had been prepared to forcefully separate Viscount Valerian from Lucille. But upon seeing the conversation, he was relieved to know that Raymond seemed to feel some kind of love toward his daughter. That was more than Cedar had expected. It didn't make up for the past in the slightest, and he definitely wouldn't forgive Raymond. But right now, he was in a good mood. He was more satisfied upon seeing Lucille smile than he should have been. So, he quietly sat next to them and just stayed to make sure that the conversation didn't suddenly turn sour.

At some point, Theodore left and hinted that it would be good to leave the family alone, but Cedar ignored that. He didn't want to risk anything and just remained a silent spectator.

In the end, Raymond stayed for two hours or so before the doctor came and gave Lucille another dose of medicine. Then he prepared to leave to let her rest. But no matter how calm the conversation had been, one dark shadow had loomed over it at all times.

Lucille seemingly couldn't allow her father to go before asking him about that matter again. She looked like she was rather nervous as she spoke up, but she still met Raymond's gaze with sincerity. “Before you leave, I would like to know. You said that you don't want to tell me now. But can I at least know what will happen with the people that got hurt?”

Viscount Valerian was quiet for a moment. He was reluctant to tell his injured daughter about this, but he still gave in and spoke in a quiet voice. “I know that it won't bring the injured people back, but I will compensate their families. I will also deal with the expenses that their demises may have caused. And I will promise them revenge. No one attacks our house without suffering the consequences.”

Lucille pressed her lips into a thin line as she nodded. But she didn't say anything and just looked down as she balled her fists. She tried to hide it, but it was obvious that she felt guilty. Even though she hadn't done anything.

Cedar made a mental note to talk about this with her as soon as her father left, but he wasn't able to think about this much more.

Raymond already spoke up and addressed the prince. “I don't know whether you understood it by now. If not, I will be more direct. From now on, your mother is our greatest enemy. If you plan on supporting her, I will not see you as a friend either. That woman tried to kill my daughter, so I will never forgive her.” Who was he to talk after neglecting Lucille for years?

But for some reason, Cedar felt the exact same way right now. He had never been as angry at his mother as he was now. “I already positioned myself on the day of the attack. I should have sat there quietly if I wanted Mother to win. But I didn't do that. I rushed in and ruined her plan. It's rather obvious that I won't support her anymore. I didn't run away for fun. It is my goal to cut all ties with her. I will not watch when she targets Lucille and me. I will be more careful and do my best to keep everyone here safe from now on.”

Viscount Valerian gritted his teeth and then turned his eyes away. He didn't trust the other man, and that was justified. At least it seemed like he wanted to protect his daughter from being with a person like Cedar, so he truly worried about Lucille's well-being. It was just questionable why he hadn't shown that before then. Instead of caring for her, he had even scared his daughter so much that she barely dared to meet his eyes. Had he changed now because she had almost died? If so, he should have noticed that he cared much sooner.

Cedar couldn't help but be a bit bitter about that, but he would refrain from ruining the mood and simply stay quiet. Lucille was happy right now, so he wouldn't interfere. Instead, he just made eye contact when the viscount looked at him.

Raymond stayed a minute longer before he rose to his feet. He stood next to the bed and didn't seem to know what to say for a moment. Then he opened his mouth. “I will take my leave. I don't want to keep you from resting any longer. You need to sleep as much as possible so that you can regain your energy quickly. I will send a servant with some of your clothes for tomorrow. I will come again in a few days to see how you are doing. If you are fine with that.” He added the last sentence after a short pause, as if he hadn't been sure whether the rest had sounded too authoritarian.

Lucille didn't seem to care either way. She was just happy that her father bothered to visit. “That would be nice. I cannot do many things either way, so other people visiting will always be good. I will try to rest.” It wasn't like she could do much else when she couldn't walk.

Viscount Valerian met her gaze, and for a moment, the both of them were quiet. Then he slowly lifted his hand and put it onto Lucille's head to pat her for a few seconds. “Take care of yourself. The palace is safe, but...it's still a new location. Be careful, and don't trust everyone you meet.” He glanced at the prince as if he wanted to see the reaction.

Cedar just stayed quiet and smiled at the other man. He didn't need to defend himself here. Raymond didn't trust him at all, but by now, it should be obvious that Cedar would protect Lucille to the best of his abilities. Within the palace, most dangers should be dealt with quickly, and the prince would take care of the rest. He was almost sure that Camille would send them her regards, but he was also sure that he knew his mother well enough to deal with everything she came up with. He had spent twenty-two years of his life reading her mood and reacting to her decisions after all.

Lucille nodded at her father before replying with a faint smile, which was incredibly sweet to look at. “I will remember that. But so far, everyone here has been really kind. Her Majesty even had a drink with me. We will probably say that I'm her lady-in-waiting for the time being. Just so that we have an excuse about why I have to be here.”

Viscount Valerian still didn't seem happy about leaving his daughter in the palace, but he gave his best not to show it. “I see. Then I will say that if people ask me. I will stay at home for the next few weeks, so you can also send a letter, and I will reply as soon as possible.” He just wanted to offer her help, but he didn't even say that outright.

Lucille seemed to understand though. “Thank you, Father. I have enough free time, so I should be able to write a letter to you. Will you inform my teacher? I don't think I will be able to attend her lessons in the near future.”

Raymond replied with a stoic expression. “I will. To me, it seems like she may not be needed after that anymore either. But we will look into it when this matter gets resolved. I hope that it will be over soon, but His Majesty says that it will take a long time. We will find a way to deal with it though.”

Lucille seemed to be happy to hear that. “Of course. I will try to stay quiet so that I won't bother the people here. I'm sure that the dowager empress will forget about all of this in a short while. Goodbye, Father.”

The viscount didn't seem to be convinced of that. “I hope so. Goodbye.” With that, he left while being visibly sullen. It was easy to see that this man was unsure about how he should deal with this matter. After all, he had been attacked by a powerful enemy. He couldn't just strike back, even if he probably would favor doing so.

When the door closed behind the other man, Cedar immediately turned to Lucille again. He scanned her expression and her posture before speaking up. “Is everything alright?” She shouldn't be in pain since she had just received some pills, but she looked somewhat exhausted.

Lucille gave him a weak smile as she put her hand on her head, where her father had patted her just a moment ago. “Yes, very much so. I was just surprised. I didn't expect this kind of reaction. Now I feel silly for worrying about this. I...” She interrupted herself and looked down for a moment. Then she was quiet for a bit before making eye contact with Cedar and changing the topic. “Say... Cedar, is your mother the type to forget things like this?” She had announced that the dowager empress would leave her alone soon just a minute ago, but seemingly, she wasn't convinced of that at all. Unfortunately, her bad premonition was correct.

Cedar gave her a little smile as he responded. “No, not at all. She still despises Althea, even though that poor woman died seven years ago. Althea was Father's lover and Theodore's adoptive mother, so you can see why my mother resents her. It is based on personal feelings, mainly jealousy. And unfortunately, Mother wasn't just unhappy about her husband getting a lover. She also hated it when Theodore fell in love. Maybe because Her Majesty reminded her of Althea, who had been a concubine as well. But also because she hates seeing Theodore happy. So, you shouldn't hope that she will ignore you. She probably thinks what my brother and your father are thinking too.”

Lucille was quiet at that. She slowly balled her fists on her lap and then spoke up a moment later. “And that is enough to make her want to kill me? She would have a problem with you falling in love and becoming happy? That woman is insane.”

“You are correct about that assumption. I can assure you that my mother is a threat. She is overly resentful and full of hatred for her own son. So, her targeting you and me isn't surprising in the slightest.” Even though Cedar had to admit that he hadn't expected his mother to hire an informant so quickly just so that she could spy on him. He had expected her to trust the influence she had over him a bit more. But the fact that Camille had moved as soon as she learned about something she saw as a threat wasn't special. That was why the prince should have expected an early attack as soon as he had gotten closer to another person.

Lucille slowly nodded and looked at him with unveiled concern. She was probably worrying about how he had been forced to spend time with his mother while obeying her every whim for so long, but she was considerate enough not to speak up. She knew that he hated being told how bad his past had been.

He had to admit that he wouldn't be angry at her though. Lucille could probably tell him whatever she wanted, and he would always be fine listening. When she spoke, it didn't feel like she was belittling him after all. She truly saw him as the victim here. Even if that was awfully naive, it was also cute.

Cedar gave her a smile and raised his voice after a short pause. “You just took a lot of medicine, so you might get tired. Do you want to try sleeping, or would you rather do something else first? Or should I bring you lunch?”

Lucille glanced at the clock on the wall before she replied. “Not yet. I'm not tired. I would like to eat something later, but I'm not hungry right now either. Could we just...talk a bit?” She sounded uncertain while saying that and looked up at him as if she fully expected him to refuse.

Cedar had spent the past week by her side, and even in the mansion, they had been together rather often. Why did she think that he would leave all of a sudden? He could only assume that she wanted to address a topic that was uncomfortable to her and that she wanted to give him a chance to refuse. But obviously, he wouldn't. He stayed in his seat and smiled at her. “It's my duty to sit by the young injured lady's side. What do you want to talk about?”

Lucille shuffled around, just a bit so that she didn't hurt herself. Then she was quiet for a little too long before speaking up again. “I...feel bad about what happened.” She didn't say more than that. At first, it seemed like she wanted him to say something, but her expression revealed that she was struggling to keep her composure and had to keep quiet because of that.

The prince quickly understood what she was referring to. He didn't hesitate to grab her hand and replied in a soft tone. “You told me that you would never blame me, right? So, you can't blame yourself either. That wouldn't make sense. If you say that no one but my mother is at fault, which is true, you should curse her. You don't need to worry about whether you could have done anything differently. Your only choice would have been refusing to flee with me. And that would have meant that there would be one more victim. That wouldn't have helped anyone. I should have tried to fight those men, but I assumed that they would focus on us since we are their targets and decided to flee instead of facing them. If anyone aside from my mother is at fault, it's me. I never considered that she might try to kill those around me after all. I should have been prepared for that.”

In retrospect, the assumption that his mother might not wish to slaughter all the servants in the mansion had been the biggest flaw in this plan of his. Cedar had just relied on knowing her well enough to justify this entire stupid plan. But in the end, he had knowingly put the entire Valerian mansion in danger. This incident was his responsibility. He wouldn't admit any details though.

For a moment, Lucille just looked at him. It seemed like she would argue with him again, which would have been much better. But she didn't say anything. Instead, she just shut her eyes and let her head hang forward. It was silent for a few seconds before she let out a sob. Then her shoulders began trembling, and she couldn't hold back her crying anymore.

Cedar thought about holding still for one second but quickly gave up and moved over to the bed to carefully pull her into his arms. It was odd for him to console someone like this, but he couldn't help it. When it was Lucille, he would immediately do his best to make her feel better. So, he carefully stroked over her head while speaking to her. “Everything is fine. We will take care of all problems and make sure that the perpetrators get punished.” Saying that when both he and his mother were the guilty ones felt strange. “We won't let anyone hurt our allies or back down. The attackers will get what they deserve. But you need to remember one thing. This isn't your fault. It never was, and no matter what others could say, it will never be yours either. Believe me.”

Lucille quietly shook her head while pressing her face against his shoulder. “But...” She could barely speak, but he managed to understand her slurred words somehow. “So, many people died...”

He couldn't refute that. But he could try to make her understand that this tragedy hadn't developed because of something she had done. “That doesn't make it your fault. You didn't kill them. The assassins that did it are already taken care of, or they will be found in a while. Leonard Astame is the one leading the investigation, so you don't have to worry about any of that. You only need to focus on recovering. Because all of these people would have gotten hurt whether you were there or not. That you survived just proves that the mission wasn't a success. So, make sure that that attack stays unsuccessful. We will win against my mother.”

As he spoke, Cedar realized something strange. When had he begun to see himself more on Lucille's side than on his mother's? Had that already happened a week after they met, or had he suddenly wanted to protect her even more after she had been shot with an arrow? He wasn't sure. But in any case, he knew that he wanted to console Lucille so that she wouldn't cry for much longer. He hated seeing her sad, and especially hearing how she blamed herself was painful to him.

It was ridiculous. Cedar had been at fault for this because he had known that his presence would inevitably be dangerous for those around him. And his mother had been the one to send assassins to kill everyone within the house.

Obviously, Lucille hadn't caused this to happen. He gave his best to explain that to her over and over again while she sobbed into his shoulder. In the end, they sat like this for a few minutes until her crying slowly became quieter. Cedar didn't let go of her even then and just waited for her to calm down.

As soon as Lucille could speak again, she began talking about the same topic once more as if she wasn't able to let go of it. “Mathilda died too. I've known her for five years. And she's just gone like this. I thought that I never liked her much, but I miss her. And I don't even know how the rest of the people are doing. Everyone I know could be dead because of...”

Cedar shushed her as he finished for her in a soft voice. “Because of my mother. You need to remember that she is the one who wanted bloodshed. No one else. Only she can be blamed now. That's why worrying about this won't gain us anything. You aren't responsible for the actions of another person. Keep that in mind and stay calm. Being dejected now won't help. Instead, we should move forward and prepare to deal with whatever my mother throws our way in the future. Because we won't let anything like this happen again. Alright?” He put his hand on the side of her face and made her look at him.

Lucille froze for a moment and then slowly nodded. She didn't seem to know what to do afterward. She just stared at the prince for a few seconds without moving. She almost didn't dare to do it, but she gave in and leaned forward to hug him again.

Cedar accepted it and gently put one of his hands onto the backside of her head while embracing her with the other arm. He hoped that he didn't accidentally press onto her injury, but she didn't flinch, so it should be fine. Like this, he let her enjoy his hug while he tried his best to calm her down.

He just repeated that she was fine and that they would do it without any issues, but it seemed to help.

After a short while, Lucille's sniffling slowly got quieter again, and she relaxed. It almost felt like she had fallen asleep, but she began whispering at some point. “Cedar. Can I ask you something? Something personal. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable though.”

He normally resented such questions, but he had a feeling that he would answer almost anything if she was the one asking. “Go ahead. If I don't like the question, I can just tell you.”

Lucille was quiet for a moment. She was reluctant to speak up, but that only proved that the question was important to her. A few seconds passed, and then she whispered to him in a barely audible voice. “Why do you smile so often? Whenever something unpleasant happens or you face people you dislike, you smile. The more upset you get, the more you smile. And I feel like you only stop when you are alone. Why?”

Oh.

It made sense for her to worry. They had just discussed the deaths in her house, and he most likely had smiled during the conversation. She had to feel like he was insincere about this. But she wasn't accusatory. And so, Cedar didn't feel the need to throw out excuses. The truth was that he wouldn't have endured his life until now if he hadn't told himself to be happy. But admitting that out loud was almost impossible for him.

He should just tell her that he couldn't answer that question. It would be that easy.

But Cedar hesitated a moment longer and then gave an explanation that was as close to the truth as he dared to get. “I smile because it helps me push away unpleasant emotions. It also infuriates those who try to upset me, and it makes them realize that I won't just allow them to ruin my mood when they do something insolent. But it's also a result of my mother always telling me to stop complaining. She got angry when I voiced my discomfort even when I was a child. So, I got used to smiling when I saw her, and when I appeared in public, I also had to put on a polite mask. Along with the fact that I had quite the temper as a child and needed to learn to suppress my anger, that caused me to smile more often. You can curse others in your mind as much as you want to. If you smile at them, they will not notice what you are thinking, or they can't do anything about it because you're polite. And as I said, I kept doing that for all of my childhood. By now, it's a little like a reflex.”

Obviously. After all, he had trained himself to beam whenever he got really angry. His true emotions often showed if he was close to losing his temper like when Lucille had gotten shot, but after a short while, his smile always came back. By now, he was so used to that. He doubted that he could unlearn it. Even though it was very impractical when problematic topics appeared.

Lucille listened carefully the whole time and only slowly lifted her head when he finished. She looked at him with her puffy eyes and was even quieter when she replied. “But...sometimes, you also forget it in front of me. I think. Why is that? You didn't smile when I woke up here either.”

He had been much too worried back then. After all, Lucille was important to him, even though they had just met a short while ago. But would he really admit that? Cedar sighed quietly as he came to the conclusion he would rather not mention. “That's because you are special. I trust you more than most others in my life. When we are alone, my brain sometimes forgets that it needs to smile. Maybe because I know that you won't scold me for that.” And because he knew that she was currently drugged again, which would make it impossible for her to remember most of this.

Lucille seemed extremely surprised when she heard that. She lowered her gaze for a moment before looking up again. Then a slight red blush came onto her cheeks, and she quickly pressed her head onto his shoulder again. “I...trust you a lot too. I...like you.” Seemingly, she was a bit embarrassed to say that. That was way too adorable.

Cedar almost laughed, but that would have embarrassed her even more. So, he stifled his chuckle and stroked over her head. “I see. That's good to hear. Then our feelings aren't unrequited at least.” He could almost feel how she burned up at that. This only made him grin more.

To be honest, Cedar wasn't sure what to make out of this either. He cared for Lucille way too much. He knew that he needed to cut his ties to her soon before she got dragged into the mess that his world was, but he doubted that he would be strong enough to do that. After all, he kept telling himself that he wanted to spend just a little more time with her often, only to demand more after. In the end, he already knew that he would keep finding excuses until it was too late anyway.

His mother already found out, which meant that hiding it didn't make sense anymore either. So, he might as well enjoy Lucille's presence to the fullest while he could. After all, he couldn't stay here forever either.

He still had a plan to fulfill.