The Broken Prince's Love

This couldn't be happening.

That was all Cedar could think as he saw how Lucille stumbled back from the impact. This arrow had been supposed to hit him, but she had stood before him at the last second. It hadn't been a coincidence either. She had moved on purpose.

That might have been what made this even worse. Why had she saved him? Why would she throw away her own life for someone she barely knew?

For a moment, he just froze and stared at her in shock. But his paralysis didn't last long. He caught her when she fell and forced himself to view this logically. He needed to inspect her wound, and maybe he could do something about this.

But one look at the amount of blood that came out proved that his first aid wouldn't suffice. He could definitely stop the bleeding for a while by leaving the arrow in and wrapping bandages around it, but a doctor needed to sew this under any circumstances. There was only one person whom he trusted to take care of such a huge wound.

And it would be easy to get there if he just managed to carry Lucille down the street.

For once, Cedar was happy that his mother's assassins were stupid. That man on the balcony hadn't shot a second arrow but had left the annex to run here. He wouldn't arrive in time.

Cedar used some of Lucille's clothes and some of his to wrap multiple layers of fabric around the arrow and then lifted her with as much care as possible. She let out a groan, which was enough to make his heart skip a beat. He immediately began running toward the capital.

He needed a royal guard. Just one of them. Then everything would be fine. It had to be fine.

Cedar kept running and repeated the same thing in his mind the whole time. He would just think logically, as always. If he considered his feelings now, it would not end well. He couldn't allow his emotions to take over, or he would risk Lucille dying because he couldn't react in time. But this was easier said than done when he felt like her life was slipping out between his fingers. He couldn't keep his growing fear in check, even when he kept reminding himself that it was necessary.

If Lucille died in his arms now, after she had saved him, he would never get better. Surely, he hadn't been sane before this, but he was almost sure that he would lose his mind if a young woman with a bright future died to save him, the twisted prince. And that wasn't even everything.

Cedar didn't even want to think about how he would feel if he couldn't talk to Lucille anymore, if she died because he had been close to her. Hadn't he told himself to stay away from her? What had happened to keeping her at a distance? How foolish he was.

This had happened because he had gotten too careless. He had assumed that his mother didn't know about Lucille and hadn't taken the necessary precautions. He should have been focusing as soon as he noticed that he started to spend more and more time with Lucille. But he hadn't done that.

And now she was lying here in his arms and threatened to bleed out because of his miscalculation.

Cedar had been too full of himself. He had insisted that reminding himself that he didn't care much about her would be enough to make it true. But obviously, that wasn't the case. He cared a lot more for her than he should have. But this also meant that he needed to accept it now. He had just found Lucille, he couldn't lose her already. He would definitely save her, he had to. He didn't care whether all of his plans crumbled into nothingness because of this.

For once in his life, he prayed that the royal guards were as persistent as normal. He even hoped that Leonard was there, but that was probably too much to ask for.

But he had to be lucky just once.

Cedar kept running forward without stopping or looking back. He desperately prayed that this didn't make the injury worse, but he had to get Lucille away from the attackers. And he needed to find the royal guards soon, or it would be too late for them to travel to a doctor.

Cedar's chest felt like his heart was wrapped in a thorny chain that dug into his skin whenever he breathed. It hurt, and the fact that he knew that he wasn't wounded made it worse. His body needed to work with him now. He couldn't be a single second too slow, so he forced himself to drown out his emotions.

His eyes darted across his surroundings as he tried to find a sign of horses or men in uniforms. He didn't find that, but he did see a light in the distance.

A carriage. These had to be knights. Who else would be driving around here this early in the morning? A guard had to be there, Cedar wouldn't accept anything else.

The prince kept his eyes on that light as he rushed forward with even more speed than before. He needed to arrive on time. As he came closer, he identified the uniform of the royal guards, and for the first time, he could almost scream in joy upon seeing them. And the first thing he did was truly scream.

“Wait!”

He could see how the knights turned to him in surprise and how they froze upon recognizing him. Some of them drew their swords and prepared to block an attack, but most had seen that he was carrying a bleeding person.

When Cedar finally reached them, his lungs were burning, and his legs felt like they would give in at any moment. Yet, he didn't give himself a second to rest and immediately instructed them in the harshest tone he could muster. “Bring me to the royal doctor. Now.”

The knights were visibly undecided about what they were supposed to do and turned to the person who should decide. This could only be one man.

Cedar almost died out of relief when he saw how Leonard darted out of the carriage. “Leon! We need to get to the palace now!”

The royal advisor looked at the other man as if he had seen a ghost, his eyes wide and posture tense. But he only took a moment to identify the red-haired person in the other's arms and raised his hand. “We're driving to the palace. Hurry up.”

The knights around him seemed to be shocked at that, but they immediately prepared the carriage.

Inwardly, Cedar thanked Leon a thousand times, but he just focused on keeping Lucille steady as he brought her into the coach without waiting for anyone's instructions. He put her down on the bench and knelt down on the floor to press on the wound again in an attempt to stop as much blood as possible from flowing out.

Leonard came in a moment later. Thankfully, he seemed to understand the situation quite well. “We're taking care of the questions later. We need to deal with the wound. Let me apply pressure.” That man had been an assassin, so he should know how to treat injuries too, which meant that he could help more here than a prince could.

Cedar moved aside immediately. Still, he sat directly next to Lucille and put his hand on her forehead.

She was burning up. Hopefully, she wouldn't get an infection because of this damned arrow. But before he could worry about that, she needed to survive this. She would definitely survive.

He wouldn't know what to do otherwise.

Cedar watched how Leonard gave Lucille some pill that was supposed to thicken her blood, but he didn't really listen. The vehicle began moving after a short while, and the knights accompanied it toward the palace. It was the worst carriage ride of his life. Even though it should just have taken twenty minutes at most, it felt like an eternity of torture, and simultaneously, time seemed to slip through his fingers. He could only think about finally arriving at the palace so that the royal doctor could examine Lucille. He would gladly accept help from his worst enemy if it meant that he could save her like this.

To him, the world around them seemed to fade right now.

Cedar didn't glimpse out of the window once, so it was a shock when they reached the palace all of a sudden. He didn't even look around in his old home or think about announcing his presence to anyone. He wordlessly picked up Lucille again and climbed out of the carriage to bring her to the doctor's office.

One of the guards attempted to stop him, but a single sentence made him back away.

“Get your hands off.” The prince didn't bother to look at the knights and just rushed to the main entrance. He was pretty sure that Leonard followed him, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was protecting Lucille. So, he didn't care much about the guards that lifted their swords to stop him at the entrance. He did get more upset with every wasted second though and barely managed to press out his response without yelling. “Step aside.”

Those guards shouldn't listen to a wanted criminal, but apparently, his expression was scary enough to make them obey.

That was exactly what Cedar needed right now. He was relieved to be able to pass without needing to use Leon since that would only take away time, which was the one thing he didn't have.

As soon as he entered the foyer, countless staff members turned their gazes to him. It seemed like the whole palace would be in shock due to his arrival. If they were paralyzed because of that, it would be just perfect since they couldn't try to arrest him.

Cedar ignored all of them and rushed toward the doctor's office. He could find every location in the palace with his eyes closed, so it didn't take long. When he rounded the last corner, he almost sighed in relief.

There the doctor was. The elderly man was currently talking to another person and stood there without any obstacles between them.

Cedar didn't waste a single second. “Doctor! We need treatment!” He ignored how the two men in the corridor turned to him in shock and just rushed to them to show the doctor that it was serious. “An arrow hit her! You need to stop the bleeding!” His brain was clouded with fear, but even he noticed how desperate he sounded. “Please...”

For a second, everyone was silent.

The doctor took a moment, but after he glanced down at Lucille, he turned around and rushed into his office while yelling for his assistants.

This left Cedar alone in the hallway with the other man, who promptly spoke up with disbelief in his voice.

“Cedar?”

Only now the prince recognized him. This tall man with dark blue hair was Theodore Estien, the emperor of Artias and Cedar's older brother.

Normally, the prince would have bowed and greeted him politely while doing his best to provoke the other man. Or he might have gotten angry because he was forced to face the person he envied so much.

But right now, Cedar couldn't bring himself to care. He just rushed past the emperor to bring Lucille into the doctor's office. This had to be the first time that he had completely ignored his brother. But it didn't matter. He had other worries. He stormed into the room and let his eyes dart across his surroundings in search of the doctor.

The elderly man had already gathered his utensils and some bandages as he prepared one of the beds. “Put her here!”

Cedar didn't hesitate and did what he was told. He made sure not to move Lucille around too much, but he still felt like her wound had to be much worse than before. Hopefully, it had been a good idea to leave that damned arrow inside. And hopefully, those makeshift bandages had stopped some of the bleeding. He had no guarantee that anything he had done had helped at all, so he could only pray. The only thing that was left to do was to step aside to let the doctor do his work.

Even if it physically pained him, he let go of Lucille and backed away. Still, he kept his eyes on her as the doctor and the assistants ran around her and began the treatment.

She had lost so much blood. Lucille's face was even paler than it normally looked next to her red hair. Even though she was unconscious, her expression looked like she was in pain and desperately struggled to keep herself from crying. But tears had already stained her face and revealed that this wound had to hurt so much.

Cedar hated seeing her like this. It was more painful for him than his own injury from a month ago. Someone murmured in the background, but he didn't understand anything. He felt like throwing up. His stomach felt like it was flipping, and he couldn't focus on anything but the dread that rose inside him.

What if she didn't make it? All of this was his fault. He had hidden in her house and brought her in danger. He had allowed her to get close despite knowing that this would make her a target. He hadn't reacted when that assassin had aimed for him. He should have been hit and not her. Why had she saved him? What if he hadn't acted quickly enough so that she would bleed out now?

If that happened, it would definitely be over for his remaining sanity. Because all of this was his fault. He was the one that had started all of this in the first place. He was the one that-

“Cedar!” This time, a person yelled directly next to him and put their hand on his shoulder.

The prince whipped his head around to the side and snapped at his brother. “What?” This was the first time in a while that he had lost his temper without bothering to hide it.

Theodore didn't look like he was calm either. A deep frown was etched into his forehead as he scanned his younger brother. “It would be better if you stayed outside during the treatment. We can't distract the doctor. We will go out now.” That wasn't a request but an order.

Cedar's first reaction was to refuse. He didn't want to leave Lucille. He needed to keep his eyes on her. What would happen if she died while he wasn't here? But when he glanced at the bed again, he quickly realized that he couldn't watch this anyway.

Just seeing how they removed the arrow and hearing how Lucille let out a low groan was enough to make Cedar spin around and bolt out of the room. He couldn't stay here, or he might begin yelling at the doctor. He couldn't distract the people here under any circumstances though.

But he would wait right outside the door. He would be here and see Lucille immediately when she woke up. Because she would wake up. She had to.

Leonard was waiting in the corridor, but the prince didn't glimpse at him for more than a second. He began explaining something to the emperor, who kept watching his brother from the corner of his eyes.

But obviously, Cedar didn't comprehend a single one of the words that left their mouths. Maybe the secretary narrated what had happened. But that didn't matter much. What happened now was important. The doctor had to be successful, or Lucille would die. That fact was way too upsetting, but he would have to accept it. Yet, he knew well that he would only be able to live with one outcome here.

The prince began pacing through the hallway and walked from one end to the other before turning around and going back again. He brought his hand to his mouth and bit onto the skin next to his thumbnail. How long would this take? How long until he had a definitive answer? If he had to spend hours like this, he would go insane.

The more time he had to think, the worse his thoughts would get. He would begin asking himself whether he could have acted differently to change this outcome.

He bit his skin with more force.

The first memories of his mistakes already came up just a moment later. Cedar should not have stopped to wait for the other man to shoot. He should just have run and made sure that he was between Lucille and the assassin. Then he might have gotten injured, but it wouldn't have been so bad. His shoulder might have been hit, but he wouldn't have died.

Of course, he wouldn't have died. His mother would never kill him off so easily. Those assassins had been supposed to scare him. The goal had been to injure him to show that his mother wasn't on his side anymore, not to end his life.

Cedar had known that, but Lucille hadn't. That had been why she had jumped in front of him. She had wanted to save his life even if it came at the expense of her own. Why had she reacted like this? She should treasure herself more than that. But she had saved him again.

This was the second time that Lucille had protected Cedar despite knowing that she would be in danger because of this. Why had she been so foolish? No one should wish to give away their life this easily for someone they had just met a while ago. Did she really care about him this much, or was she just a saint who wished to help everyone she met?

Either way, Cedar hadn't deserved her protection. Not when he was nothing more than the traitorous prince of Artias. Not after everything he had done. Not after he had come to her house to-

“Cedar!” Theodore raised his voice directly next to his brother. He yanked the other's hand away from his mouth.

Only now, Cedar looked down to see that his thumb was bleeding. He had probably chewed on the nail again. He hadn't done this for the last decade or so. He had stopped after learning to control his breakdowns, but seemingly, his self-control had splintered into a million pieces today. It should probably hurt, but he didn't feel any of it. His whole body felt numb.

The only thing he sensed was this overwhelming nausea. He was a mess right now, and he didn't even care. He normally despised losing his temper, but at the moment, he deserved to be a little upset.

So, Cedar just dropped his hand and wanted to pace around again. He wasn't able to take a single step though.

Theodore put his hands on both of his brother's shoulders and pushed him toward a sofa, which stood in front of the doctor's office. “Sit down.” He didn't even wait for a response before making the other man sit. Then he spoke up again. “You need to get yourself together. It won't help her if you lose your mind now.” Was he worried about Cedar having a breakdown? Probably. He would have no other reason to attempt to calm his brother down.

It was true that the prince had been pretty aggressive whenever he had lost his temper in the past. But that had been a decade ago. Cedar had to admit that smashing a vase might be tempting right now, but that wouldn't help Lucille either. It would only risk distracting the doctor, so he wouldn't even think about doing that. He would stay silent and sit here until Lucille was better again.

She would get better.

Cedar swallowed and stared down at his palms. He was seriously shaking. He couldn't even keep his hands still in front of his face. Damn it. What if he had already moved around so much while bandaging Lucille? Had he accidentally touched the arrow? Had he made it worse despite wanting to help?

“Cedar.” Theodore's voice sounded again. The emperor sat down next to his brother and spoke in a gentle but still somewhat authoritarian voice. “Keep breathing calmly, and don't think about anything else. It will be fine. The royal doctor is able to deal with everything. You don't have to worry about anything that is happening inside there. I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer me. This is Lady Valerian, correct?” He made concentrating sound so easy.

But right now, Cedar's head was in a whirl as thousands of thoughts threatened to overtake him. Still, he knew that he needed to respond, or he would probably drown in all of the fears that plagued his mind. “Yes. Lucille Valerian.” He didn't lift his head while speaking.

The emperor should not have expected a reply, but he didn't sound surprised. “Why was she hit with an arrow?”

Cedar gritted his teeth as he remembered how Lucille had stepped in front of him before she fell back. He pressed out his response between his teeth. “They wanted to hit me. Mother's men, that is. Lucille jumped in front of me, and now she's...”

Now Theodore was surprised though. He sounded like he was in utter shock as he spoke up. “Your mother ordered what?” He was silent for a moment before resuming in a voice full of concern. “Cedar, what happened? Why did she want you to be hurt?” That would take too much time to explain.

“Later.” Cedar tried to ban the memories of Lucille lying in her own pool of blood, but he couldn't do it. By now, his terror and nausea were accompanied by another emotion too. A familiar blur of rage crossed his mind.

Those assassins hadn't just been sent to hurt him. They had been instructed to kill everyone in the estate, and their target had been Lucille too.

Cedar could have lived with them intruding and accidentally harming someone while they searched for him. But this made him much angrier than it should have. He wanted these assassins to regret accepting this request. And he wanted his mother to regret ordering something like this more than anything else. Cedar slowly lifted his head and made eye contact with his brother. “The Valerian estate. Send guards. Lord Valerian should have gone out, but everyone else was there. I don't think that anyone is left. But send knights just in case. If those people are still there...” If so, he wanted to see them so that he could pay them back for targeting innocent bystanders.

Theodore didn't have any issues guessing what his brother's expression meant. Thankfully, he had been in a similar situation a few times already and knew how to deal with this. “I understand. I will send them immediately, even though I'm sure that Leon already told a few guards to deal with it. If anyone suspicious is there, they will be brought to the palace for further investigation.” He turned his head and raised his voice. “Leon.”

The secretary nodded and rushed off. He would probably lead the investigation himself. That was good. If any assassin was stupid enough to have stayed, their former colleague would crush them. Unfortunately, it was doubtful that he would find anyone.

Cedar had informed him much too late after all. He should have sent the guards to the mansion earlier, back when he had found them. But he had been too distracted then, and now the chances of anyone being at the location of the crime were low. The only ones that would be left were the ones that he had taken care of already.

That thought reminded Cedar. He truly had killed some of his mother's men. The prince only realized what that meant now. Hadn't he unknowingly made his choice by turning on the dowager empress' assassins?

And yet, he couldn't bring himself to care. It was their fault for attacking a random noble estate and killing innocent people. He didn't regret eliminating them in the slightest.

All of those servants hadn't died for nothing. Cedar would make sure that the people that were behind them would regret this. It would take a while, but he remembered most of the faces of the men that worked for his mother. With a bit of time, he could find all of them. But he wasn't able to think about that for long.

Theodore already focused his attention on him again. “Are you injured? You are full of blood.”

Cedar didn't see the need to lie. “Not mine. I needed to get Lucille out of the building. Mother must have ordered them to kill her. So, I had to make sure that none of them got too close. I didn't get most of them though. I only met five. Four dead, and one should be still alive and immobile unless he bled out.” Even though he managed to speak in coherent sentences now, his voice was still shaky. He couldn't stop recounting his steps and thinking about whether he could have found another route to bring Lucille out safely. Had his mistake cost her life?

The emperor was silent for a short moment before speaking up again. “And you say that everyone there is probably dead?”

Cedar fought the urge to tell him that he didn't want to talk right now. But to be honest, it was better if he distracted himself as much as possible, so he should speak with his brother. Especially since the emperor was the only one who could protect Lucille from the dowager empress. “I didn't have time to look around, but I found some dead servants. And those assassins didn't wear masks, so you can assume that they were supposed to kill everyone silently. I was lucky enough to wake up by accident. I saw how they were searching for Lucille and quickly figured out what was going on then.”

He couldn't even speak properly despite already having had a few minutes to calm down. His voice was still shaking, and he felt like his brain was about to burst. It had been seven years since Cedar had been so miserable.