The Broken Prince's Love

Sometimes when he closed his eyes, he saw memories of his childhood.

Those weren't always the ones full of anger and hatred. Of course, he remembered his mother's hysteric fits and his fights with his brother or how his father ignored him once again.

But sometimes, he also saw the calmer days in front of his inner eye. And that was much worse.

Cedar could deal with anger and frustration or fear and disgust. But catching a glimpse of what could have been if his mother hadn't been eaten up by resentment was too painful. One particular memory was the most upsetting one out of all of them.

Althea had always looked like a saint to him. She had been much too kind and had never shown the dowager empress or her son any anger. Instead, she had accepted all of the derogatory comments and the bullying by Camille without ever hating her lover's wife. At the same time, she had showered Theodore, her tormentor's biological son, with love and raised him as her own child. She had never scolded him or Cedar but once.

Cedar remembered that scene as if it had been yesterday, even though he was sure that it had happened sixteen years ago. It had been right after he and Theodore had fought about some stupid triviality.

Althea had raised her index finger then and loudly announced that brothers should get along. “I know that your age difference can make it hard for you to find something that is fun for the both of you. But those five years don't change the fact that you are brothers. You should try to play together instead of fighting.”

Both Theodore and Cedar had gazed at her with skepticism before exchanging an annoyed look. In the end, both had probably just agreed because they wanted to make Althea happy. Theodore because he wanted to make his mother proud and Cedar because that woman had been kinder to him than his real mother and father. So, the two of them had done what Althea proposed and played a few different games in the empty courtyard.

There had been no one there but the three of them. So, it hadn't even been a problem for the two princes to play around like normal children. They had tried to hide behind some bushes and climbed up a small tree. Althea had also gotten them chalk and allowed them to draw on the tiled pathway. She had even joined in for a few minutes until crouching down had been too exhausting for her.

For a long time, they had continued to play, and maybe both boys had had some fun then. Cedar remembered how he had tried to keep up with Theodore while playing tag, even though there was a five-year age difference between them. He had done quite well despite that. At some point, Theodore had even allowed his younger brother to catch him. That might have been the only time that Cedar hadn't been angry about not being better than his brother.

He hadn't even been angry when he tripped over a stone and slammed onto the floor head-first. His nose had bled a bit, but it hadn't been that bad.

Still, Althea had made a fuss out of it and tried to console him even though he hadn't been crying. Maybe she had been worried about why a six-year-old wasn't sobbing upon receiving the smallest wound despite that being unnecessary.

But Cedar hadn't found it too annoying when she had tried to clean up his face with a handkerchief. He had just smiled at her and said that it wasn't as bad as when he had gotten injured during training a few days earlier. That had made Althea really upset, and back then, he hadn't known why. So, he had tried to cheer her up in a very clumsy way.

For a short moment, the situation had been pleasant with him, Theodore and Althea getting along without anyone disturbing their peace. And then the same person as always had intervened.

That was the clearest memory out of everything. Cedar remembered grinning at Althea while she patted his head. Then he had looked over her shoulder and seen who was watching them. In an instant, the short-lived happiness had been replaced by stomach-churning nausea. Cedar had pushed Althea's hand away as he ran toward his mother. He had tried to hug her to keep her from getting too angry, but the expression on her face had already shown him that it wouldn't help.

And as expected, Camille had almost crushed him by pulling her into his arms, but even this hadn't calmed her down. Instead, she had yelled around in her usual shrill voice. “So, you are trying to take my second son away too? You filthy, greedy bitch!”

Cedar remembered Althea's expression as she had attempted to pacify the other woman. But neither her hurried curtsy nor her attempt to explain that this hadn't been her intentions had helped. In the end, everything had just earned her a slap to her face. Her cheek had probably been swollen for days after that. But she hadn't even done anything to get Camille punished. She could have gone to the emperor and told him what happened, and he might have helped his lover. Instead, she had been quiet and lowered her gaze to the floor because she had always been ashamed of taking away the other woman's child.

This obedient reaction had only made the dowager empress more furious. She had lifted her hand again, only for Cedar to attempt to stop her.

“Mother, please don't hurt Althea. She-”

Of course, Camille hadn't even let him speak. “Don't take that dirty word into your mouth. You won't betray me too!”

Cedar remembered exactly how he had almost wanted to back away as his mother had gazed at him with fury. He might have run away if he had had the chance. But his mother's fingernails had dug into his skin as she dragged him off toward her room. The red crescent marks had stayed there for the next weeks. He had been met with something even less pleasant that evening though. The mirror shards from then had left wounds that had been visible for months.

But that hadn't even been the worst thing about that day.

As Cedar had been pulled away, he had looked back for a moment and seen his brother's regret and Althea's sad smile. In that second, he had truly understood that his life would be much more happy if he was on the other side of the canyon that seemed to separate him from his family.

And as always when he dreamed about Althea, he saw the moment he regretted most in his life too. He saw crimson coating her light dress and her hair being sprawled out on the pool of blood that was growing below her.

Then he woke up.

Cedar opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He had ended up dreaming about it once again, and now he was lying in bed while pondering the past, for which he hated himself. He waited for sleep to take him again but knew well that this wouldn't happen any time soon. So, Cedar sat up and threw away all hope of resting any more that night. He stood up and opened the door to the balcony to look around.

Behind the roof of the main building, the sun was starting to rise as it tinted the sky in a reddish shade of pink that made the clouds look much more pretty than normal. The trees gently swayed in the morning breeze as the wind rustled through their leaves. It was a beautiful sight.

But none of this helped to cover up the horrible images in Cedar's mind. Remembering that day was bad enough, but seeing Althea's demise in front of his inner eye again and again made him even more upset. He leaned against the railing with a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.

He couldn't shake the feeling even after seven years had passed. Would he feel better if he had acted differently back then? Indeed.

But would he have been able to do anything? He didn't know that.

Back then, he had been fourteen, so he hadn't intervened much as Camille had plotted against her first son, who had recently become emperor after he had released the sick previous emperor from his suffering. So, the dowager empress hadn't been stopped as she had come up with an elaborate scheme to ensure that Theodore would die during the hunting festival, which had included two separate assassination attacks.

Cedar hadn't even fought back when his mother had sent him to examine Theodore's carriage after the second assassination attempt. He had arrived and quickly found out that his brother had survived. Apparently, Theodore had won against all of the attackers. But when Cedar had opened the door to the carriage, he had still found a victim.

Althea had jumped in front of Theodore as he had been attacked. As Cedar had come in, she had been lying there in her own blood with a little smile on her face. She had saved the son who hadn't even been her biological child while gladly sacrificing her life.

Camille had always seen motherly love a bit differently. To her, her son had always been a person who should be willing to sacrifice his life for her and not the other way around, so this image had come as a huge surprise to Cedar.

He remembered what he had felt upon seeing that. The strongest emotion had been disbelief. That had been followed by resignation, and this had been accompanied by wrath. But of course, he hadn't revealed any of that. He had just smiled and kept his head up high while acting like he was relieved that his brother was alive.

Maybe he had been really a bit relieved about Althea's sacrifice not being for naught. Maybe he had been satisfied about his mother's plan failing too. He wasn't sure.

But in the end, it hadn't mattered much. For a month or so, Theodore had acted like he was trying to get closer to his real mother and his brother.

Camille had been very content with that while Cedar had already known that this was a pretense. But he hadn't said anything this time either, even if he had hinted at it in front of his brother. He had just waited during the trial until his mother had made a mistake and revealed that she knew more about the attack than an outsider could have. That had ended with them being put in confinement for six years.

After that, Cedar had managed to convince a judge to redo the trial with some simple letters. And once again, Camille had ruined everything by refusing to listen to him. She had delayed the trial for months and sacrificed their freedom for a new plan again. Now after the failed revolt, everything had ended with them being in confinement once more. The dowager empress and the second prince should have stayed there for the rest of their lives, but it didn't seem like this would hold true.

Cedar was already outside, and he was pretty sure that his mother wanted to leave too.

The wind stopped for a moment and left behind complete silence. This only made the prince feel even more melancholic. When it was silent like this, it left him time to think, and that usually wasn't good. Neither for him nor the people around him.

Cedar took a deep breath while opening his eyes again. In the past seven years, so much had changed, and so many things had happened. Still, he regretted his behavior during that one day seven years ago.

Should he have acted differently back then? He had told Lucille that he would definitely change everything if he had a second chance. But was that really how he felt? He would certainly have favored it if Althea had survived. But at the same time, that might have made her a target for Camille.

The dowager empress had hated her husband's mistress more than anything else in her whole life. There was no way that she would have let the other woman live.

Maybe this had been the most painless death that Althea could have experienced. And yet, it was regretful that such a kind woman had been forced to die because of a useless grudge.

Cedar stared down at the grass below the balcony before gazing at the tree in front of him. Reeve hadn't come for the past week, which meant that there probably wasn't anything new the prince needed to hear. This meant that everything would continue as planned. He had already directed the flow of the water in a specific way, and now there was no way for him to change it again.

For a moment, Cedar wondered whether he wanted all of this. Wasn't it easier to give up here? It probably would be. Still, there was no way for him to go back. He had already placed all of his chess figures for the big act, so he couldn't just stop. He prepared to push himself away from the railing to go back to bed, even if he wouldn't sleep anyway, but he froze in the middle of his movement.

It was still silent.

When no wind came, it was completely silent. But that didn't make any sense. Why was it silent? Wasn't the sun rising? Why weren't any birds up already?

That thought was enough to make unease rise inside him.

Cedar's grip on the railing tightened as he leaned forward to look around the corner of the building, toward the main garden. There was no one there. He couldn't see a single person. Usually, that might have been calming but not in a noble estate. This wasn't normal in the morning.

The servants should be running around already while trying to clean up and wash some clothes before hanging them to dry. Cedar had been here for over a month, so he had gotten used to the servants' daily routine. He was sure that they should be up already.

Adrenaline rushed through his veins as he took a step back and spun around. He needed to get ready. He had to find out what exactly was going on right now and how he would have to react to that.

Was it time already? But why? He hadn't received any warning.

Cedar ran to the chest and pulled out his sword from behind it before hurrying through the hallways of the annex. He had gotten too careless. He had forgotten about his mother's threats, which was almost like a death sentence if it happened in the wrong moment. He should have given Lucille a small warning at least. Right now, she wasn't expecting anything and would just run into danger if she got up at the wrong moment.

It was too early though. Lucille was probably still sleeping, right? As long as she was in her room, it would be fine.

The prince slowed his steps when he reached the entrance. It was still quiet, and he couldn't see anyone, not even a single soul. He shouldn't think in the most pessimistic way, he knew that. But he also knew who had planned this attack. And then it suddenly didn't make any sense for it to be quiet anymore. It would be stupid to think that his mother wouldn't go this far, so he needed to expect the worst.

Cedar had a bad feeling about this, and unfortunately, his intuition was usually right about things like this. So, it was only logical that he stopped at every corner and hid behind the walls as he went through the garden to reach the main building.

Why wasn't anyone here? If his mother had really sent people, shouldn't they be causing issues everywhere? The servants should be yelling and crying while scattering all across the estate as they tried to get away.

Cedar clenched his jaw as he hid behind yet another bush before rushing to the side entrance of the kitchen. This wasn't normal. Something was off. But that wouldn't be a problem.

The royal guards were still examining this area. They would definitely arrive in a few minutes. Then everything would be fine. Everything would work out as it was supposed to. But would the royal guards come if it was this quiet?

The prince sneaked through the kitchen and crouched down behind a counter before listening again. No one was walking around. His mother had truly hired professionals this time, even though this certainly shouldn't have been part of the plan. This only meant that he had to hurry more though. He had to reach the second floor and warn Lucille quickly.

But as soon as Cedar put his hand on the door handle, he froze. What was he doing? He was the goal of this attack. Getting closer to Lucille was the worst option for her. So, he should stay away from her. He should return to the garden and choose a spot from which he could watch the situation before acting as planned. That was a good idea.

But first, he would check the hallway in front of the kitchen. From what he remembered, this should be where the servants stayed. If he just went there, he should immediately find chaos and staff members that were running around in a panic. Right?

Cedar carefully pressed down the door handle and glanced into the corridor. No one was there. He slowly dared to tiptoe inside while following the path that led him to the servant's quarters. It took a minute until he reached it, and seeing this part of the house only made him worry even more. Why wasn't a single person in this wing of the building either? It didn't make sense.

Usually, his mother wasn't subtle. She would want her son to notice that she was targeting him. The attackers would rush in and cause chaos while hurting a few people, but they wouldn't necessarily kill anyone since it was simply useless. So, the servants should be alive and free to yell for help.

Unless they had been silenced permanently.

But there was no need for his mother to insist on something like this. Had she not wanted Cedar to notice the attack? That was the opposite of what this was supposed to do. So, there had to be a reason why she asked the attackers to be quiet so that he would stay in the dark.

There was only one reason for this that would make sense. Camille wished to take care of something before her son realized what she was planning. There was no need for her to do any of that though. What here could be a bother to her and needed to be gotten rid of?

The servants didn't matter to her. This family probably didn't have any dangerous documents. And surely, the neutral viscount wasn't a threat either.

But in that case, there was only one person left. One person who could be a thorn in Camille's flesh.

Cedar gritted his teeth as his grip on the sword-handle tightened. He slowly pulled the weapon out of the sheath and tried to calm himself. He needed to stay composed, or he would make it worse. He tried to calm himself down, but it was already too late. Dread rose in his stomach.

There was one thing that could bother his mother. One person who had gotten much too close to the prince.

The second in which Cedar realized that was the exact moment in which he pushed all of his self-control away.

The plan didn't matter anymore. He needed to find Lucille now.

His steps became quicker despite him telling himself to be slow and quiet. He almost felt like he was suffocating with every second that he couldn't run, but if those people saw him now, it would be over, so he forced himself to be silent.

When he reached the second floor, he saw a person for the first time. It looked like this was a young maid of the house. At least she had been one. Now she was lying in the corner with blood pooling below her.

Cedar only needed a moment to realize that she wasn't breathing. He felt the last thread of his patience snap at that. Why were servants being killed? Did these attackers have to stay unnoticed under any circumstance? He had been absolutely sure that everything would happen exactly as he had said that it would. But this definitely hadn't been involved in his plan. He held his breath as he sneaked forward as fast as possible.

He found the hallway that led to the master bedroom a moment later. Lucille's room had to be somewhere here too, right? What if those people had already found it before him?

Cedar forced that thought aside and fought to think logically. He couldn't just open all doors and check. That would be way too slow. He needed to make sure that he didn't make a mistake here, or another person would pay the price for him.

The prince stayed close to the wall as he wandered forward. He had never been in this part of the mansion, so he had no idea where to go. The plans he had seen of the general layout didn't help him much here either. Damn it. He heard his heart pounding in his chest and bit his teeth together with so much force that it hurt.

Where was Lucille's bedroom? It couldn't be on another floor, right? The lady of the house probably slept somewhere close to the master bedroom. So, Cedar could be certain that it was somewhere around here. He just needed to find it.

The prince reached a corner and carefully pushed his head past the wall to glance into the hallway. He had been convinced that he wouldn't see anyone now either, but he stopped himself in time. He could make out two figures in the corridor in the dim morning light.

These two were in the middle of discussing something in front of a door by using a specific sign language Cedar knew all too well. Those were men who wore similar clothing to Reeve. They were dressed in black, and their attires allowed them to move around freely. Something was wrong with their clothes though.

Normally, attackers in such situations would wear masks to hide their identities. The only reason they wouldn't do that was because they believed that there would be no witnesses left alive to tell on them.

The men here had no masks.

That knowledge flipped a switch in Cedar. His mother knew about Lucille. He was almost certain about this. Had Reeve told her? If so, the prince would have to repay him for this betrayal. But he couldn't imagine it. Most likely, another person had given his mother information. Damn it. He shouldn't have been so lenient. He should have been more careful. But this didn't matter now.

What mattered was that Camille Estien would never allow the most important person in her life to care about someone except for her. That woman would target Lucille, just like she had targeted Althea. That was why she had suddenly changed the strategy and even asked for the death of the servants in this mansion. She wanted Lucille's demise too.

Cedar was rather sure that he had never been as angry at his mother as right now. But all of his fury dissolved into panic as he saw how one of the men put his hand on the door handle and prepared to open it.

If he was thinking logically, rushing out of his hiding place now would give away his location and that he knew about this plan. He would lose his only advantage by acting now, but there was no way for him to wait.

Lucille couldn't fight. Those men would win within a second, and they wouldn't have any mercy.

So, Cedar needed to be quick. If he was at this point already, he might already bet everything on one thing. What mattered most to him? His lifetime goal or the life of a woman he had been talking to for a month?

Deep inside, he knew that he already answered that question in the moment that he stormed toward the door and raised his sword to strike.