The Broken Prince's Love

Saying that he was surprised would have been a lie. Cedar had only waited for this.

It was obvious that the reaction to his letter would come as soon as Reeve had delivered the original note. Most likely, the guard had purposefully stalled for time to delay the arrival for a week. Now there wasn't much he could do anymore though since waiting for too long would be suspicious. So, he would bring the response to Cedar's letter. Of course, that one wouldn't be kind.

The prince didn't have to think twice about what he would have to deal with now. It had been easy to guess how his mother would react in such a scenario, and now it seemed like they would follow the exact scheme in reality. “I see. I expected to be in trouble. But we already thought that it was rather bad. How did it get worse than that?”

Reeve hugged himself and paused for a moment before replying. “Well... Your mother hit a maid with a bowl. She did that about three times before a guard intervened. Then Her Majesty was dragged into her room, and she yelled the whole day. She was having hysteric fits and switched between being depressed and full of fury the whole time. No one dared to get too close to her, and they just put five guards in front of her door. She obviously said some not-so-kind things about you too.” That poor maid.

Cedar had expected that his mother would lose her temper, but he hadn't believed that she would overdo it like that. Maybe not giving her vases to throw had made her anger worse after all. “I hope that that woman is fine. I mean the maid she hurt. And was Mother injured, or did she hold back after the knights came?”

Reeve looked to the side. “About that... She may have struggled and kicked the wall with her bad leg on accident. That only made her even more angry. All servants are actively avoiding her, and I don't know what happened during those days either since I stayed away too. But I did dare to meet her after she called for me a few days later. And as expected, she wrote a response for you. She wants a reply immediately.”

Cedar glanced over his shoulder and saw how Lucille listened to the conversation with round eyes. It didn't seem like she was suspicious of him because of this. Instead, she hid behind him and kept her eyes on Reeve. She was truly too trusting. Wasn't she even wondering about how his guard had found him here? She probably couldn't imagine that the dowager empress had her ways to locate anyone despite being in confinement.

Cedar inwardly sighed at that and turned to the other man again. “I assume that she will tell me a few unkind things. What does she want? Did she understand that I was serious about cutting off my contact with her?”

Reeve nodded and lowered his gaze to make eye contact. “She understood. That's why she is this upset. Her Majesty gave me a long speech about you owing her, and she may have said that your life belongs to her too. I think the whole house heard, but I won't repeat all of that. She said that this is your last chance to come home. She said that you won't like what will happen otherwise. You will apparently regret betraying her. Here's the letter.” He lifted an envelope between two of his fingers. Then he put it onto the table next to him before leaning against the doorway again. “I don't think you want to read it. It's full of stuff you really don't need to hear. But she told me to give it to you.”

Cedar didn't need to read it to know what his mother had written. It was too obvious that she had reacted exactly like he had expected her to. Still, he would pick up the letter to at least make it seem like he was interested in what his mother thought. So, he gestured for Lucille to wait and walked to the table to get the envelope. Then he opened it and read the letter.

He wasn't disappointed.

Anyone who read this letter would get that Camille was unstable and that she believed that her son had to obey her without a second thought. To people Cedar knew well, this might even seem worse than that because they would be able to point out that his mother had attacked all of his weak spots. Normally, he might have gotten really upset about this, but since he had been prepared, it didn't affect him much.

Cedar read the letter and folded it again without giving it a second glance. “I knew all of that already. And this is truly supposed to be the last chance? If I leave now, she won't forgive me?” That was exactly what he needed after all. He wanted to show that he distanced himself from his mother, so it would be good if she was angry with him. Then he couldn't go back no matter what, and everyone would be aware of that. He would be able to use this letter as his proof that he was serious.

Reeve nodded again. “She was very clear about it. You told her to be direct, but I think she already was. What is your response?”

Cedar's reply had been clear from the very beginning. He tilted his head to the side and scanned the guard as his smile widened. “She said that she will make me regret going against her? How creative.” He glanced downward at his letter before slowly lifting his head again. “And it does sound like she is truly disappointed and upset. I understand that. But one question remains. Maybe you will be able to answer for me.”

The guard shrugged. “I don't know. I have no idea what Her Majesty is thinking, but I should be able to explain some things. What do you want to know?”

“Well, she sounded like she was extremely serious about this. And I get that she will have her revenge or something like that. She wants to keep me from leaving her behind, but...” Cedar slowly lifted his head and beamed at his guard. “What is she going to do about it?” His voice dripped with mockery as he said that. It was easy to be smug when he just read the exact text that he had expected. Everything was happening exactly like he had imagined it to, so of course, he was content. “I mean... She is the dowager empress. But does she have any power in her current state? Will Theodore scold me for her? He would rather congratulate me. Will she come out and beat me up herself? She is neither strong enough nor will anyone let her out. She is in confinement, isn't she? Can she send assassins like for her first son? I don't think so. Her every move is under surveillance So... What will she do about me leaving?”

Reeve pressed his lips into a line. He didn't seem too happy about hearing that. Most likely, he was already trying to phrase all of this nicely to avoid making Camille blow up when he told her. But he could never keep her calm in case her son decided to end all relations with her. That tantrum would end up being so loud that everyone would hear it. Though, he had known that he would hear all of this anyway and just waited for the prince to finish his part of the act.

Cedar remained silent for a moment before speaking up again. “You don't seem surprised. I wonder whether she will be shocked. Her letter sounded like she genuinely didn't want to believe that I was honest. But didn't I already say what my response would be? She should know.”

The guard slowly pushed himself away from the door frame and let out a sigh. “I expected this. She won't be happy. This is really your last chance to respond with an apology. If you don't change your mind, I may have to come here to declare war in a few days. Then I will have to follow her orders without question. That might not be pretty.”

The prince didn't really care about that either. “As I said, what will she do? Go home, and tell her that threatening me won't help her. I don't want to see her. I don't want to write letters nor will I obey what she tells me. So, feel free to say that exact thing.”

Reeve only nodded in response. He walked toward the balcony and stopped in the doorway. “Then... I guess that we won't see each other again with good news. I will tell her.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Goodbye, Your Royal Highness. Goodbye, Lady Valerian.” With that, he closed the door behind him before jumping onto the railing. Then he disappeared into the trees.

Cedar only let his hand drop when he couldn't see the other man anymore. It was obvious that Reeve wasn't a threat when he was supposed to transmit messages, but the prince hadn't been sure what his Mother's orders had included. After all, Camille definitely wouldn't like hearing about Lucille. Thankfully, it seemed like no dangerous information had spread. If it did, someone might have tried to hurt Lucille already. That hadn't happened, which meant that Cedar could probably relax. He waited for a few more seconds to be sure before turning around. “I apologize for that. I expected him to come, but I didn't think that he would appear in your presence.”

Lucille looked like she hadn't understood much about this conversation. She stared at him with wide eyes and opened her mouth before closing it again. “That... Are you alright? Or do you need...something?” She didn't seem to know what to say, but she had expressed what she was referring to. Was that seriously her first thought? She had no idea what was happening, and still, she asked about how he felt first.

Cedar wasn't sure whether he should thank her or wonder about how strange she was acting. “You know... Sometimes, you are a really particular being. I wasn't attacked, so of course, I'm fine. Shouldn't you ask about the situation first?”

“Oh, well.” Lucille grabbed one of her red strands and played with her hair. “I guessed that you must have sent your letter to your mother. The rest was rather easy to find out. I knew that you wanted to break off your contact with her after all. Of course, she wouldn't be happy about that. And a vicious woman like her won't just let you go.” She only realized that her choice of words might have been unfitting now and hurried to correct herself. “Ah, I didn't mean to insult your mother! It's just that...”

The prince gave her a little smile. “No, it's fine. You are right about her being...a rather unpleasant person. If you don't do what she says, she gets extremely angry. Sometimes, she even does that when you are doing what she wants. I really understand why people would call her vicious.” He had witnessed Camille in her worst moments, so he couldn't deny that she was a pretty horrible person. Still, talking badly about his mother felt weird. That was something he would never do under normal circumstances, so it was helpful that no one who knew him well was listening.

Lucille lowered her gaze for a few seconds. She stared at the letter, which he was still holding, and spoke up after a few seconds. “Can...I read that letter? Then you wouldn't have to tell me, and I could just...” Her voice got quieter with every word until she stopped herself. “Only if you would allow me to, of course. I won't touch it if you don't want to. I know that this is personal, so I sincerely apologize if-”

Perfect.

Cedar cut her off by holding the envelope toward her. “There you go. But it's pretty harsh, so you don't need to read it if you don't want to. Don't expect any sentimentalities from her. She just wrote that she is disappointed in me and that I'm a horrible son. Then she threatened me a few times and tried to guilt-trip me into coming back. There is nothing special about this.”

Lucille was hesitant when she reached for the envelope, but she took it and carefully unfolded the paper. She read slowly, and Cedar kept his eyes on her face the whole time. With every line, she became much more affected by the contents. Her expression darkened, and her fingers dug into the letter with so much force that she crumbled the paper. “That...” Her voice trembled with anger as she pushed out just this one word between gritted teeth. She was more than just upset. She was fuming.

Cedar had never seen her this resentful, and it was a strange sight. He had hoped that she would be disgruntled upon reading this, just so that she would understand why he didn't want to spend more time with his mother than he had to. It would decrease the odds of her throwing him out after all. But that she was this wrathful was surprising.

Lucille pressed her lips together and looked up at him with a bitter expression. She took a moment before she spoke up in a broken voice. “How can she say something like that to her own son? That...that witch!” She almost ripped the paper apart, so Cedar carefully took it from her. Lucille didn't resist, but she glared at a person that wasn't even here and balled her fists. “How cruel can a person be? I can't believe that you had to grow up with a woman like her! Why are you so calm?” She gritted her teeth and desperately tried to keep herself composed despite her rage.

Cedar gave her a sad smile, which he showed so rarely that it felt strange on his face. “Don't be so mad. It's nothing new to me. I already understood that she doesn't treat me like other mothers would treat their sons in my childhood. I don't know how old I was but maybe around four. Maybe I even felt it before that. This isn't really surprising. Everything she ever cared for was hurting Althea, the woman that my father loved. Even though she is dead, Mother won't allow her to rest. So, she focused her wrath on my brother, and her life revolves around harming him.” Even while he gave his short speech, he felt like this was completely out of character for him. Well, since Lucille didn't know what he was usually like, it should be fine anyway, so he resumed. “It's obvious that she wouldn't care about me. I am just a tool for her. If a tool doesn't do what you say, you get upset and want to get rid of it. That is only natural. I didn't expect anything else.”

Lucille's expression only scrunched up more at that. “Natural?” She shook her head and lifted her hand to wipe over her eyes. “It's not natural that you think that way. You're not a tool. That woman is just horrible. You should never have been forced to think about stuff like that. Especially not as a child. How could she raise you like that? Was she always this loveless?” She lowered her hand and looked at him to get a response. His expression had probably told her everything she needed to know. “That's not... You don't deserve that.” She met his gaze and let out a shaky breath. “You deserve much better than her.” She tried to keep herself from trembling as she cast her gaze downward.

To be honest, the fact that she looked away was relieving right now. Cedar had frozen in place, and he wouldn't have been able to hide his reaction to her expression just now.

She was crying.

He was sure that he had seen tears in Lucille's eyes. This was...unexpected. Why would she cry for him? It didn't make any sense since she barely knew him nor did it make things better for them. In fact, it made everything worse.

Lucile shouldn't say that to him. This was truly not something he should hear from her, who had already been so kind to him for so long.

Cedar reminded himself that he hated pity, but it was already too late. Something had planted itself deep into his heart, and it wouldn't go away so soon. The prince looked to the side and scanned the balcony. He had to respond with something now, or it would get worse. But he was at a loss for words for the first time in a while.

After a few seconds passed, Lucille lifted her head again. She didn't say anything this time and just raised her arms to extend them toward him. Was that supposed to be an invitation for a hug? There was no need for anything like this. He didn't need to be consoled. In fact, Lucille was more upset than he had been.

Cedar opened his mouth to refuse, but the words died down in his throat when her arms wrapped around him. In that case, he could just return the embrace, or she would be embarrassed later. So, he just put his arms around her for Lucille's sake and let her hug him while she occasionally sniffled.

It seemed like Lucille didn't know what to do since she just patted his back despite being the one that was crying.

The prince gently stroked over her head after a short while staring blankly at the wall. This was dangerous, and he knew it. He should step aside as soon as possible and make sure to keep her at a distance. But he would hold her in his arms for just a few seconds longer. That wouldn't make a big difference, would it? It would be mean to push her away, and that was the only reason why he didn't do anything. He told himself that while knowing that he was lying deep inside. But as long as he lied well enough, he could fool himself too, as he always did. It would be fine.

Probably.

Cedar took a while until he found his voice again. “Now you might understand. All of this is why I made this choice. I want to change from now on. I'm still content with my decision. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have done this. I am well aware of what my actions will make her do. I knew that I would be her enemy now. I saw how she treated her first son, so I'm not too upset about her little letter. Her yelling at me would have been worse. It's just good that she isn't here right now.” He felt almost dirty while saying this.

The woman in front of him was too kind. She didn't deserve to be drawn into this mess and all of his lies and plots.

Lucille weakly nodded before lifting her head. “That's really good. I hope that she rots in confinement.” She wiped over her face again and accepted Cedar's handkerchief to clean herself up a bit. She still looked like a mess, with her skin being reddened and her eyes being puffy and red. And yet, she almost seemed to glow as she showed him a confident expression. “I will help you. I will do whatever I can to help you get away from that woman. You aren't alone anymore. We will cut all your ties to that woman, you will see. I will help you no matter what.” Lucille was a fool. She shouldn't promise things she couldn't keep at all, especially not when she knew that she was making promises to an awful person.

Cedar gave her a little smile. “Thank you. I feel like you might not want to be in such big danger though. It would be better if you just supported me from behind the scenes. After all, we don't want you getting between the fronts.” He knew well how his mother reacted to rivals, so he couldn't let her believe that there was one.

Both Althea and Theodore's wife had become a thorn in Camille's side, not just because both women had been an emperor's concubine. Also because these two had been important people to those of whom she expected complete loyalty. Camille had gotten rid of maids for far less. If she ever met Lucille, Cedar would have to make sure to ignore the young woman entirely, or they would cause a result they wouldn't enjoy. He would have to warn Lucille about this soon enough too.

But right now, he didn't have to do it. Because his mother was safely locked away for the moment.

In the end, it was fine because Cedar didn't really care about Lucille all that much. He didn't want her to get hurt, but he felt that way around most people. Lucille was just someone who helped him. She was convenient, and he liked talking to her. That was all there was to it. He just couldn't afford to have Camille misunderstand.

Lucille was silent for a moment and folded his handkerchief before speaking up in a soft voice. “What will happen now? What will she do? Will she really attack you?”

Cedar had thought about that for a long time too. He had come to a conclusion a while ago, so he didn't hesitate before answering. “She has two options now. Either she will try to have someone drag me back. Then she could try to convince me to join her side again. She knows what I'm sensitive to, so she should have no problem manipulating me. That would be the more pleasant option. Or she will do her best to use me against Theodore. For example, she could kill me and frame him for doing it in an attempt to ruin his reputation. That wouldn't work since even a serial murderer could easily be an emperor, but she might be reckless enough to try. She has nothing to lose after all. Her reputation, honor and influence were already destroyed. So, she can only gain by risking everything.”

Once again, Cedar wasn't sure whether he said anything convincing, but it seemed to covey what he had meant to tell Lucille, who still hugged him and trusted his judgment without any personal knowledge about Camille.

Lucille clenched her jaw and tightened her hold on him. “That is...horrible. How can such a terrible person exist? I don't get why your father left you with her. Why didn't he just...” She cut herself off and then slowly let go. “I shouldn't say things like that, I'm-” She froze, and her eyes locked onto his chest. “Ah. Your shirt is...” Apparently, she had cried quite a few tears, which were now staining the fabric. Her eyes widened, and she lowered her gaze. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-”

“It's fine.” Why would Cedar be angry when she had cried for him? He couldn't remember the last time that this happened. But even after he said that it was fine, Lucille looked like she was embarrassed. She was even more dejected than before now. This wouldn't do. So, he ruffled his hand through her hair and then carefully straightened the strands again. “It's really alright. These aren't even my clothes. They belong to your servants, don't they? And I just trained, so the one who should be worried about getting dirty is you. I wanted to change anyway, and I will just wash this.”

Lucille didn't seem convinced, but she gave him a little smile. “Alright. Then I will help you wash it. We need to go to dinner first though. You probably want to take a bath before that, right? I will have a servant prepare water.”

Cedar nodded and watched how Lucille ran off. It seemed like she was a bit flustered about hugging him, but today he had been the one that was much more worried about them being so close. He couldn't allow this for much longer. He had been spending too much time with Lucille already. There was no way that he could continue to do so for the next weeks. He would try to limit the time that they were together.

He told himself that, but he knew that he wouldn't actually pull through with it. He would always have an excuse about why he couldn't push Lucille away. Whether it was because she would be upset then or whether he needed information and her protection for his plan to work.

But in the end, the reason was very simple. He liked Lucille. Her company was nice.

And that was the biggest issue at the same time. This could only get more dangerous with time, maybe even more dangerous than his current situation in general. And yet, it didn't seem like Cedar would do anything about it any time soon. It had been too long since he had enjoyed talking to someone, so he would allow himself to indulge until the marked day of his departure. Then he would return to his normal mindset and focus on what mattered again.

Two days later, a note appeared on Cedar's table. None of the servants had put it there, and the door to the balcony was slightly ajar. That was the only thing that had been changed about the room aside from the existence of this small paper. There wasn't much text on that note. But it was enough to determine his whole future. Only two lines were written there.

‘You will get what you asked for. Wait for your present.’