The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille did her best not to think about her mother too much. To be honest, that was hard though. Whenever it was quiet for a while, she couldn't help but ponder her past more than she wanted to.

So, she was lying on her bed while trying to read a book, but no matter what she did, she couldn't keep her thoughts from wandering back to her mother. Lucille gave up on reading after she had forced herself to go through one chapter and forgot the content a moment later. She sighed and let her head plop onto the pillow. Bringing the letters away had only helped her a small bit. Now she could ponder the letters her father had received. Even if she hadn't found out many new things about her mother, she couldn't help worrying about it.

Raymond had exchanged letters with Emily quite a few times. He had said that he always replied when she sent him one, so one could assume that Emily had written at least a few times. If Emily didn't mind contacting her harsh ex-husband and wished her daughter a nice birthday each year, hating her family could not have been the reason for her disappearance. But what had caused her to pack her bags and ask for a divorce then? Had she just decided to suddenly change her life and didn't want any old connections in her new world? All of that was rather unusual for a noblewoman raised in an aristocratic family.

But Lucille had no idea. She wasn't even sure what type of person her mother was. She had been convinced that Emily had been a somewhat reserved, kind woman who barely spoke unless she was at home with her daughter. But Lucille couldn't rely on that in the slightest. After all, she would have never believed that her mother would suddenly leave her behind. So, she didn't seem to be good at guessing what others were thinking. She turned her head to the side and stared at the clock. She would have liked to quicken the passage of time. After all, Cedar would be done with training soon. She couldn't wait for that. She wanted to hug him again.

Lucille remained in her position without moving for a moment. Then she lifted her head and grabbed her book again. She would try to read the chapter once more, this time without forgetting everything as soon as she had read the first few lines. Lucille forced herself to push aside all thoughts of her family and tried to think about the character in her book only. But to be honest, that didn't help too much.

The romance in this book wasn't that well-written and only stayed apart because of stupid misunderstandings. And yet, Lucille found herself enjoying the characters since they were likable if one ignored their tendency to keep their problems to themselves. Still, this book couldn't compare to reality in the slightest. Lucille knew how much better it felt to be pulled into her lover's hug, and no description in some novel could match the level of satisfaction that cuddling or just being with Cedar brought her.

That was why she almost jumped up when she heard knocking. She sat up on her knees and laid the book onto her pillow. “Yes?”

The door opened, and Cedar came inside with a soft smile on his lips. “Hello. I'm back. How have you been?”

Lucille smiled back at him while she inserted a bookmark into her novel before putting it back onto the nightstand. “I haven't done much. I read a little and waited for you.” She scanned her lover and quickly realized that he was rather sweaty. Normally, he brushed off training as if it was nothing, so she assumed that someone had bothered him. He always vented by bringing himself to his limit while practicing then. “Was training exhausting today?”

Cedar took off the sheath that had been tied to his hip and carefully set it down on a smaller table near the wall. “Yes, indeed. Leon kept pestering me to duel him, and now he won't leave me alone about my fighting style. It's nice to get tips that can help me improve, but it's also rather annoying how he keeps complaining about me being too ‘young’ or too ‘reckless’ to use some tactics. I think he is just upset because I managed to take away his dagger after pretending to stumble.”

Lucille could imagine. She had seen her lover fight occasionally, and he had always been the type to rush in with confidence that he would win. Dirty tactics were a typical part of his plan.

Cedar slowly got rid of his jacket and boots to put them away while he resumed. “Then I wanted to go to the office, but Theodore came and made me train with some of the younger knights because their instructor was sick. So, I wasted my time dealing with some rather unskilled brats. Apparently, those men like me now and asked me to come more often. I am convinced that Theodore pulled some strings beforehand since I definitely was not hiding my annoyance enough for them to think that I was happy about teaching them.” His smile wasn't too forced today, so he was probably exaggerating. Or fighting Leonard, who was actually good, had made up for the rest.

Lucille moved to the edge of the bed to let her feet dangle off the mattress. “Maybe your smile is what makes people believe that you are happy about being with them. You can enchant people easily. And most can't discern whether your smile is real or whether you are upset.”

Cedar let out a low chuckle as he stepped closer to the bed. “I am glad that they can't discern that. Otherwise, they would see how annoyed I am with them. But that could also cause them to leave me alone, so it might be good too. Or they might annoy me even more often. I couldn't be sure. The staff members here are odd. They used to hate me, and now they suddenly forgot all about that because I didn't do anything to them. It truly is strange.”

“Maybe they just noticed how kind you truly are. You are always polite and calm, and you are good at winning over people because you are interesting without doing much. If you also demonstrate your skills with the sword, the knights will be happy to train with you. Or maybe what made them like you is just...” She had planned on praising her lover's honest smile but stopped when she noticed a darker spot on his cheek. “Ah. I think you have some dirt on your face.”

Cedar lifted his hand and stroked over the other side of his face. “That isn't surprising. Those idiots threw themselves into the dry sand, so it was pretty dusty. My hair is probably full of sand too. That is why I need to fight my urge to hug you now too. I am a bit too dirty for that.”

Lucille considered saying that she didn't mind that much but scanned her lover first. It truly wasn't that bad. The main issue was the spot on his cheek. “I see. Then wait. Let me wipe it away.” She slowly stood up so that she could reach her lover and lifted her hand. She rubbed over his skin with her thumb and managed to rub the dirt away. A smile grew on her lips as she withdrew her hand.

But Cedar was quicker than she was. He caught her hand and stared at her palm. “But now you are all dirty. That won't do. We will need to clean that. Unfortunately, it seems like you will need to accompany me to the bathroom as soon as the staff is done.”

Lucille was pretty sure that her mind immediately went too far when she imagined joining her lover in the bathtub. But then she quickly pushed those thoughts away. “Sure. We can wash each other's hands if you want to.” She interlocked their fingers and beamed up at the prince.

Cedar truly seemed like he hadn't planned on embarrassing her with his comment. He didn't look smug enough for that. He was currently just making her come with him because he wanted to hold her hand.

Lucille had to admit that she wouldn't have minded the other indication either but didn't dare to think about that. She quickly spoke again to distract herself. “So, you asked them to prepare everything already? It won't take long in that case.”

“They should be finished soon. But it may take a bit longer since I actually asked for a real bath today. Normally, I just use cold water so they can go without heating, but I thought that I may have to stay inside a bit longer to get rid of that damned sand.” Cedar lifted his free hand to stroke over his hair once. He let out a fake sigh before he smiled at his lover again. “Do you know what the worst part is? That I can't even greet you properly because I'm not clean yet. So, I will have to hug you immediately once I'm done bathing.”

Lucille didn't mind that. “I won't refuse you. But that will still take a little-” She was cut off by a knock at that very moment.

Cedar grinned at her. “It will still take a little while, yes. But I will hurry to not leave my beloved alone for too long.” He turned to the door. “You may enter.”

The door was slowly opened, and a maid came inside. The woman didn't dare to make eye contact and just informed the couple that the bath had been prepared. Then she disappeared again while barely hearing Cedar thanking her.

Lucille exchanged a short look with her lover before he already pulled her to the bathroom. She followed him without hesitation despite being slightly confused. “Am...I supposed to come with you?”

Cedar glanced over his shoulder and gave her a small smile that almost made her knees give in. “Did you forget that already? You need to wash your hand first. I will not let you leave this room until you got rid of the dirt that I brought inside. Come.” He didn't need much persuasion skill to pull her toward the tub with the steaming water. He bowed down and tested the water, only to dip her hand into it a moment later. “Is the temperature fine?”

She nodded in response. The temperature was perfect right now. It was hot but not scorching, so it would be perfect for a long bath.

“Good.” Cedar took that as his cue to gently rub over her hand. He began with her thumb but cleaned the rest of her fingers, which had been clean from the very beginning, too until every bit of dirt had to have disappeared. Still, he took his time caressing her fingers and her hand up to her wrist even after that. When he let go of her, she could only smile back at him.

For a moment, Lucille considered doing the same for her lover. She glanced down at his hand before looking up at his head again. She would like to wash his hair, which was much dirtier than his fingers. That thought came was pretty sudden, so she even surprised herself. And yet, she liked the idea. Though, fulfilling that plan would barely be possible. After all, Cedar would have to sit in the bathtub while she tried to wash his hair. Lucille felt herself getting a bit embarrassed about that thought and quickly averted her eyes. “So...you will go bathe now?” That question was completely useless.

Cedar seemed to notice that she was asking strange things too. He grinned at her as he came a step toward her. “Who knows? Maybe I just want to sit here and stare at hot water. That can be refreshing too. But I have to admit that I will probably have to bathe today. I am full of sand.” He leaned forward to press a little kiss onto her forehead before he turned away. “I will do my best not to block the bathroom for too long.” After that, he stayed quiet for a short moment before he glanced over his shoulder. He looked like he wanted to joke about something but stopped himself. He turned around again, and it looked like he prepared to take off his shirt.

That was completely normal when he wanted to bathe, and only his lover was here.

But still, Lucille felt how the blood rushed to her face. Her first instinct should have been to run out of the room, but she didn't do that. Instead, she stopped in her tracks and could only stare at her lover. She had only caught a glimpse of the bottom part of his back, and yet, that was enough to make her heart skip out of rhythm. “What are...”

Cedar stopped immediately and turned around to show his usual smug grin. “I just wanted to get rid of this. After all, I need to bathe, and I didn't intend to do that while being dressed. But if you are uncomfortable with that, I will be more careful in the future. I didn't mean to surprise you.”

Lucille could barely hear him over the audible rushing of blood that seemed to echo in her ears. “No, that's not...” She didn't mind him doing that. She just hadn't expected it. For a moment, she just stood there and opened her mouth before she closed it again. As always, looking into Cedar's eyes made all thoughts leave her mind. So, she used the same trick she had used a few times already. She closed her eyes before saying what she deemed to be embarrassing. Her voice was still shaky and weak, but at least she could talk. “I don't mind that. Because if we marry later, we will...probably...get together at some point anyway.” Why was that the first thing she could think about? Of course, she and Cedar might sleep together in the future. If they married, which the both of them wanted, that was very likely. But she shouldn't say that so outright. Lucille was pretty sure that her face had to be completely red already. Steps sounded, and she immediately knew that her lover had moved toward her.

She felt Cedar's fingertips on her cheek. “I'm very happy that you think that I will be the one for you in the future. I don't want to be with anyone aside from you after all. Don't forget that. I want to stay with you until the very end.”

Lucille nodded quickly, but she didn't dare to open her eyes yet. “I...would like that very much. Because...” She swallowed in an attempt to keep her voice from cracking. “I can't imagine anyone else aside from you either. I want to marry you.” That might have been a bit direct. She immediately felt the embarrassment rushing back with full force. She knew that both of them shared this sentiment, and she actually didn't mind admitting that. But in this scenario, her thoughts might not be as innocent as they could be. She fully blamed that on Cedar with his constant teasing. It felt like he might have understood too though. Lucille didn't have the courage to face her lover's reaction now.

Cedar was silent for a moment. He kept his hand on her cheek and held still in that position. A few seconds passed before he spoke. “It's calming to hear that. I don't think I would have been happy with any other response.” He moved his free hand to hers and interlocked their fingers before he brought her hand to his lips to kiss it. He remained silent once again. It almost seemed like he wouldn't say anything anymore, but then he added the rest in a weak voice. “I would be glad if I could marry you too.”

Lucille's heart skipped a beat. Her eyes flew open, and she met her lover's gaze. She almost wanted to vanish into thin air, and yet, this moment was wonderful in some way.

Cedar was silent for a moment as well. He carefully stroked over her cheek before he leaned forward. He put his lips onto hers and gave a little peck before he pulled back. Then he withdrew his hand. He showed her a little grin that already indicated what he would do now. “Did we really just have that conversation because I wanted to take off my shirt? We may exaggerate a little. But well...” He moved his hand to her face again before he twisted a strand of her hair around his finger. “It's good that we mentioned that at least once. If you don't mind things like that, how about you join me?” There was an undeniable hint of playfulness in his voice. He was teasing his lover again.

Lucille knew that, and still, she couldn't help but fall right into his trap. “Join...you?”

Cedar gave her that smug grin that made her heart melt once again. “Yes.”

She was well aware of what would come now, but she couldn't bring herself to stay quiet. “In the bathtub?”

Cedar was joking. His expression told her that much. He relished in seeing her face when he suggested things like that. But he was far too good at teasing her like this. “Indeed. I would ask you to join me for life too, but I wouldn't pose such a question in the bathroom. Even if we technically just did that already. But that doesn't matter. Do you want to take me up on my offer?” He smirked at her while being absolutely sure that he would win this small verbal battle.

Lucille was tempted to make him lose though. She would find it satisfying if her lover looked at her in shock. Unfortunately, her level of confidence might have been a bit too small for that to work. Even now, Lucille could only lower her eyes to avoid meeting her lover's gaze. Her heart was pounding in her chest. What was she supposed to say about this? And why was she even thinking about it? Normally, she should decline immediately. After all, suddenly undressing and sitting in a bathtub with Cedar would be overwhelming to her.

But then again, they were a couple. In the future, they would probably get much closer, so bathing together wasn't really an issue. Would it be odd for them to cross that border? Until now, they had mostly just kissed and cuddled. Surely, some very passionate kisses had been part of that too, but this went much further.

To be honest, Lucille didn't mind bathing with Cedar in itself. But she wasn't even sure about whether she could go along with this despite her poor heart already beating out of rhythm now. “Well...I...”

Cedar sounded like he was still grinning. “Is that a no? How disappointing. I will have to make do with another kiss then.” He put his hand under her chin and carefully guided her up so that she had to look at him.

Lucille felt like all air was sucked out of her lungs. Her lover was so certain that she would decline. Maybe she should accept just because of that. It was tempting to agree just to shock Cedar. She opened her mouth, and it felt like her heart would jump out of her chest. Still, she forced herself to speak while keeping her eyes on her lover. She needed to see his reaction if she really wanted to do this. “I...can join you.” Her voice had trembled and was so weak that she could barely hear herself.

But it was enough.

Cedar heard her and just froze in place. His smile had faded a bit, and just the faintest hint remained on his face as he blinked at her. He took a few seconds before he managed to reply. “Pardon me. I think I misunderstood that.”

Lucille was so nauseous that she could have thrown up. The urge to turn away was hard to ignore, but she forced herself to keep looking at her lover. “No. You....understood the right thing.” She had been sure that her face couldn't get hotter, but she felt like she was having a fever by now. “I said that...” She couldn't help but get quieter with each word. “That I would join you.”

Cedar just looked at her for a few more seconds. She had truly caught him off guard. Seeing that was satisfying, but she didn't have the time to enjoy that when she almost cowered because of her embarrassment. Cedar opened his mouth and closed it again without saying a thing. He did that a few times before he finally spoke. “That... What I said was a joke, you know? I didn't...” He didn't finish that sentence. Of course, he hadn't expected her to agree. That was obvious.

Lucille knew that he had been joking, but she had wanted to get back at him. Apparently, they were both flustered now, so she might have put herself into checkmate while trying to corner her lover. “I...know.” She glanced to the side before trying to eye Cedar in the most inconspicuous way possible.

He was just staring at her and looked like he didn't believe what she told him. Then he lifted his gaze and stared at something behind her for a moment before he focused his attention on her again. “I see. Then...I have to admit that you won here.” It took another few seconds before his smug grin came back. “You convinced me. You may join me if you want to.” He was doing this on purpose. He knew that both had seen this as a joke. Now he didn't want to give up, so he pretended to take this seriously.

It would be so much easier to just give in and laugh this off as a joke. But Lucille had already ignored her uncertainty once already. It would be a shame to drop the game now.