The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar wasn't the type to enjoy hugs. In fact, he disliked them.

After all, the one person that had ever seen the need to hug him was his mother. And when she had done that, it had been to lull him into accepting what she wanted. Either she had apologized after one of her violent fits, had needed him to do something, had tried to lure him in with affection or had emphasized how close they were in front of others. He didn't remember many occurrences during which she had embraced him because she selflessly wished to hold him.

To Cedar, hugs only were like a method to convince other people to act like you wanted them to. At least he had believed that, only for Althea to tell him the opposite.

Althea had been the previous emperor's mistress and, thus, the dowager empress' archrival. That woman had raised Theodore like her own son and showered him in love. She had been a kind and compassionate person in general and had even been nice to Cedar when they had accidentally met.

And just once, Althea had actually hugged the prince when he had been rather young. That had been after he had gotten into a huge fight with his mother. He had to have looked extremely pitiful since even a complete stranger had helped him. Back then, Althea had explained that hugging someone was supposed to make him feel better before bringing him back to his room.

It had just been a short interaction, but it had stuck to Cedar. Maybe the fact that hugs were nice hadn't been a lie that romantic people liked to tell.

Lucille actually seemed to relax when he pulled her into his arms. He wasn't quite sure why, but that didn't matter as long as it helped. He just wanted to console her a bit, and if he had to hug her for that, he would do it. She was warm and held onto him as if he were a teddy bear, which he could live with for now.

Cedar gave her a few minutes before he whispered to her. “Did he hurt you?” He didn't know why, but this had been his first thought when the viscount had stormed in. Lucille didn't have any obvious wounds or bruises, but she had looked petrified upon coming here, so he wanted to make sure. He had told himself that he wouldn't react strongly to either response, but he already felt himself tensing with every second that passed.

This wasn't just about estimating what Viscount Valerian was capable of. Cedar was actually getting angry when he thought about the possibility of that man hurting Lucille. If Raymond dared to do anything like that just because his daughter had wanted to be kind to another human being, the prince would make him regret it.

Lucille finally responded after a few seconds had passed. “He didn't. Not this time. He was awfully calm today.”

That should have been somewhat relieving, but Cedar felt how his mood deteriorated even more. Maybe he identified with Lucille a bit too much when it came to their parents.

There was only one difference. The dowager empress could order around anyone but the emperor. But Viscount Valerian couldn't tell a prince what to do.

It was good that Cedar had prepared for the worst case. He carefully stroked over Lucille's hair and then spoke in a soft tone. “You won't need to worry about that in the future. I will make sure that nothing happens anymore.” At least as long as he was anywhere close to this family. “I am rather certain that he won't try anything due to me being here, but you can always run over if something happens. I can definitely hold that man back even with my wound.” He didn't even know why he promised something like that when he probably shouldn't announce that he planned to physically stop a person from approaching their child. Maybe he did it because he wanted to comfort Lucille anyway, because he knew how scary it was to be powerless.

Lucille weakly nodded and then just nuzzled into him. “Thank you...”

Cedar considered proposing to let go now, but he quickly pushed that thought away when he felt how Lucille still leaned against him. It seemed like they would have to have their conversation like this then. It was a bit annoying that he felt like someone was watching them, but he wouldn't hold back because of that. “I said that I wanted to tell you something, didn't I? I wanted to apologize for suddenly approaching you like that in front of your father. But I felt like him misunderstanding would be beneficial for a while.”

Lucille slowly lifted her head at that. Her face was completely red, but she still tried to hide how unwilling she was to make eye contact. “I...think he believes that we're... You know.” She was even too embarrassed to say that much.

Cedar gave her a calming smile. “That was the plan. That's why I made sure to phrase everything in a way that would make him misunderstand. As long as he thinks of you as my lover, you are under my protection. Even if I don't really have any power right now, I'm still the prince. Making me angry is an attack against the royal family. He certainly wouldn't dare to harm my lover. And since he believes that we have that kind of relationship, you should be safe for the time being. But like I said, tell me if you feel threatened anyway.”

Lucille froze at that. For a moment, Cedar thought that she might not like him coming up with plans to deal with her father without her approval, which would be understandable. But then she looked up at him with round eyes and breathed out her response. “So, you wanted to protect me?” Her bottom lip trembled a little before she continued. “Thank you.” With that, she clung to him with more energy and pressed her face against his chest.

Cedar held back from wincing and carefully maneuvered her arm down a bit so that she wasn't touching his wound anymore.

Thankfully, Lucille didn't seem to notice that. She just continued to cuddle against him while trying to hide how embarrassed she was.

The prince allowed her to stay in his hug. He didn't have anything better to do either way. “Of course, I would protect you. You saved my life. I will make sure that you will live as comfortably as possible. This little effort is nothing. As long as you don't correct your father, he should believe this lie. And if this can protect you, it will only be better for us. You also won't have to explain why you sympathized with me, and we can justify almost everything we do by pointing out that we are allegedly in a relationship. Of course, we will need to make sure that no one aside from your father finds out. If this rumor spreads, it would definitely cause problems for you.” A young woman's reputation would definitely be ruined if someone told the public that she had a relationship with the traitorous prince of Artias.

Lucille nodded at first before she tensed. Then she lifted her head again. “My maid heard. She's...” She lowered her gaze. “Not really trustworthy. She likes to gossip. She was probably the one who told my father about me being here too. I don't think that she can be...discrete.” That was easy enough to deal with.

Cedar gave Lucille a smile and responded in a cheerful tone. “Then call her here. I know how to talk to people to make sure that they won't spill anything. There definitely won't be an issue if you give me two minutes with her.”

“Well... She should come to bring our breakfast soon. I don't know if she will manage to do it within the next few minutes though. She is quite...slow. And I'm not sure if she won't have already told someone.” Lucille didn't sound too happy when she talked about her maid. That made it questionable why that person had even been hired to be her personal servant.

The prince slowly loosened his hold on the young woman to give her a chance to sit up on her own. “I see. As long as she comes, it will be fine. I don't need much time, and in an emergency, I can also instruct the people she talked to. After all, I can still order almost anyone around.” He paused for a moment to scan Lucille's expression. Then he resumed in a quieter tone. “Are you feeling better now?”

Lucille nodded. “Thank you, I-” She only seemed to understand what she was doing now. In an instant, she jolted her hands away from his body and moved a bit farther away. “I'm sorry. I didn't...think about what I was doing.” She folded her hands on her lap and looked like a child who had been caught while trying to steal candy.

Cedar genuinely had to smile at that as he gave her some space. “It's fine. You asked for permission, and I agreed. So, there is no need to apologize.” There also wasn't a need for her to be so embarrassed, but he didn't say that. She would only get even redder if he reminded her of that. “As long as it made you feel better, I'm happy you asked.”

Lucille played around with her fingers while giving him a weak smile. Her face was still flushed, but she seemed to be fine otherwise. If the other choice was her being scared, he was rather content seeing her flustered instead. “Thank you. That was really nice of you.” She raised her hand and carefully wiped away the last remains of her tears before standing up. “I...will stop whining now.” She hadn't actually complained, had she? That she felt the need to point that out was a bit strange.

Cedar scanned her expression again before replying. “You still have some wet spots on your face. Would you like to use my handkerchief? It should be in the top drawer in that dresser.” He already knew that she would agree when he said that. How could she not use an opportunity to avoid his gaze right after she had done something she felt ashamed of?

As expected, Lucille hurriedly nodded and rushed to the dresser.

The prince used that chance to glare toward the window. A small rustle proved that the person who had been hiding there had ducked again. He held back a sigh and quickly turned to Lucille again.

Just now, she opened the drawer, and immediately, a small piece of paper flew out and fell onto the ground. That was definitely Cedar's letter. Putting it on top of the rest of the contents might have been a bit too obvious. But this worked out anyway since no one questioned it.

It seemed like Lucille wasn't a prying person. She bowed down to pick the paper up before holding it toward him. “There was a note here. Is that yours?” As soon as he nodded, she put it back into the drawer without even trying to catch a glimpse of the addressee. Lucille was seriously trusting enough not to read the letter, which was both considerate and almost a bit naive. She took the handkerchief and unfolded it before carefully dabbing it over her face. A short moment later, she was done, but she kept the handkerchief. “I will go wash this and give it back to you this evening. Thank you for letting me use it.”

Cedar was still a bit baffled by the fact that she hadn't addressed the letter, but he replied with a smile. “Gladly. It's only lying around here, so it would be better for someone to actually use it. It's nice that you didn't read my letter, by the way. I thought that you would get suspicious immediately.”

Lucille folded the handkerchief while looking rather confident for a person whose face was still flushed. “I won't read your letters. Just because you are staying here for a few months, it's not my right to intrude. You can write to whomever you want to write to. Of course, it would be hard to send letters from here without being found. But you obviously know that.”

Being shown so much trust was unusual. It was actually rather strange as well. Cedar didn't know whether to worry about others extorting a girl who was so trusting that she didn't even question it when a traitor wrote letters at her house or whether to think that she was kind. In the end, he didn't come to a conclusion, but that didn't matter. Lucille was just lucky he didn't plan on hurting her even when he obviously abused her kindness. He just gave her a little smile and responded. “That is truly considerate of you. That letter is for my mother, but even if you read it, it wouldn't have been bad. There isn't anything new written there. I will probably rewrite it seven times before sending it too, so I'm not even sure about most of the content. I want this to arrive at Mother's mansion in a few weeks. When I can walk around again, I will bring it to a messenger and just throw it inside their carriage when they aren't looking. Then she will get my response in a month or so.”

Lucille was quiet for a moment. Then she returned to the bed and sat down with some distance between them. “Do you want to talk about what you wrote?” She was probably curious, but she still held back because she wanted to let him decide. How cute.

The prince paused for a short moment before responding in the words he had laid out carefully before. “It's actually a reply to the fight that we had before I left. I wanted to tell her that I would like to make decisions regarding my life on my own from now on. So, I need to ask her to refrain from contacting me. I definitely need to find a good way to phrase that though. It will take a while, but I want to make sure that she understands that this isn't a joke. The past month showed me that I am very much capable of living without needing to take care of her. In fact, I like this more than what I had before.” That wasn't even a complete lie, even if he was exaggerating. He couldn't deny that it was much more relaxing when there wasn't someone he needed to pacify all the time. There was no one here who kept talking about how horrible Theodore was either, which was relieving as well. That didn't mean that it didn't feel weird to be without his mother though.

Lucille's eyes widened as he talked about this, and at some point, something like satisfaction appeared on her face. “It's very courageous of you to make that decision, especially since you are doing something like this so suddenly. It's wonderful if you notice that you are happier another way.” She was quiet for a moment, and her face fell before she continued in a quieter voice. “But will it work out just like this? What will she say about this?”

Cedar had thought about that for a long time too. He had been able to come up with a very clear picture of what his mother's reaction would look like, so he replied without skipping a beat. “She won't accept this with a nod. I know my mother. I've been with her all my life. I can easily tell what she will do next. She doesn't like others choosing someone else over her. She will probably assume that my brother used me somehow. Or she will blame my father's mistress like she always does, even when Althea has nothing to do with that matter. But in any case, she will get upset. She might even start to hate me. And you've seen what she did to the first son she hates. She won't have any issues targeting me too.”

Saying that was easy. It was logical that Camille Estien, who had always been known as one of the most vile women in Artias, would do whatever it took to satisfy her greed for revenge. Whether that might be assassinating her husband's lover even after the former emperor's death or trying to murder her son, who had favored his adoptive mother. After all, that was just who she was.

Camille had always been stubborn. When her pride was hurt, she would strike back in a way that was much more painful. And now Cedar, the son that had always been on her side and was her emotional anchor, wrote a letter explaining that he didn't want to see her anymore. Everyone was able to imagine what reaction would follow, and what they had guessed would appear to happen in reality too.

Lucille furrowed her brows at that and looked down. “That's horrible. I'm sorry that you needed to...be with such an awful person.”

Cedar gave her a bright smile. “There is no need for you to be sorry. That isn't your fault. It's only hers and maybe her parents' too. Since I already got used to it, you don't have to feel bad either. I never knew it differently. But I'm trying to take care of this now. It will take a while, but I feel like I may be able to make a small change.” He felt like a hypocrite while saying that despite not believing in it. It was odd to reveal so much of himself, especially when it came to the topic of his mother, even if his story was a bit twisted. But since Cedar had still held back the more important things, it was fine. He knew what he was doing.

Lucille looked like she was torn between being hopeful and still being upset, but she managed to show him a small smile in return. “I really hope that you can do that. No, I'm sure that you will succeed in making a change. I will help you as much as I can. Of course, I know that it's none of my business, but I will always listen to you if you want to talk.” How kind she was. As expected.

“Thank you very much. I'm not the type of person that talks a lot about things like this, but we'll see. If everything goes downhill, at least I have someone to trust. I'm glad that I met you that day.” He really was. That part at least wasn't a lie.

Lucille was a nice person to talk to. She didn't seem judgmental, and aside from Reeve, she might be the only one Cedar didn't hate speaking to.

Though, he didn't say this without intent.

Lucille seemed very happy about that statement. She beamed and bashfully avoided his gaze. “Thank you... I'm glad that we met too. Even if it would have been better if you hadn't gotten injured. But that wound is healing, so it might...” She cut herself off and bit her lip for a moment. “I...think that you will have to excuse me. I will go to the bathroom for a moment and freshen up. Is that alright with you?” She probably wanted to get powder to cover her reddened cheeks, which meant that she would take a few minutes.

That was exactly what Cedar needed. “Of course. Take your time. I won't run away.”

The prince watched how Lucille left the room and closed the door behind her. Then he waited for a few seconds before standing up and going to the balcony.

He opened the door with much more force than he had intended to use so that it crashed against the wall, but Cedar ignored that. He leaned against the railing and almost pierced the man, who had barely managed to jump backward on the branch without falling, with his gaze. “Reeve. It's nice to meet you. And how surprising it is. Didn't you say that you would only come in a week at most? How many days passed since yesterday? Why are you here, Reeve?”

In response, the guard just clung to the tree and hid behind it. He carefully leaned to the side to make eye contact while making sure to keep his distance. “Hello... First of all, this is not my fault. Please don't smile at me like that. I feel like you will kill me at any moment. I'm just here because Her Majesty insisted. Honestly. I didn't mean to spy on you. I won't tell anyone about that just now, I promise.”

Cedar had to admit that his smile was as wide as it hadn't been in a while. How could that not be the case when he was fuming right now? “What do you mean you didn't want to spy? You took your sweet time watching us. Don't think I didn't notice that. You've sat here for the past ten minutes. If you tell Mother about this, you're dead.” That wasn't even an empty threat.

Reeve still stayed on guard, but he moved one branch closer to the balcony. “I know. She won't hear a thing about this. I swear on my life. I won't tell her, and no one else could. And I really didn't mean to watch you. I was just...shocked? I saw the most irritating thing in my whole life, so you can't blame me. Didn't you say that love wasn't your thing?”

Cedar gritted his teeth at that. Would he really need to explain everything to Reeve when that wasn't any of his business? He would have to. If his mother somehow heard about this, there would be a much bigger issue than a few mean letters. Then the dowager empress' target wouldn't just be her son anymore. “Of course, I'm not in love. Her father found me. Since he used to be rather violent, she was scared and I consoled her. Don't jump to conclusions.”

Reeve came a little closer again and crouched down, still with a safe distance between them. “But the fact that you cared proves that you don't hate her. You didn't push her away either. Didn't you dislike women touching you?” Once again, the guard seemed to like twisting rumors.

Cedar corrected him quickly. “I don't like people touching me in general. At least not when I know that they want to evoke a specific reaction that is supposed to help them. Why would I have a problem with comforting a woman who hasn't done anything like that? She has been kind and saved my life, so I obviously don't hate her. I wanted to calm her down, and I found a way to keep her father from throwing me out at the same moment. This was absolutely the best thing I could have done. Does that answer your question?”

Reeve was silent for a few seconds. He seemed to bargain with himself. Then he backed away a bit again before speaking up. “Did you like hugging her?”

Cedar grinned at him and leaned forward a bit. “Should we find out whether I can still climb with this injury? Don't test me. What did you come here for? We don't have more than a few minutes. ” He had no reason to tell the other man that he had been much more content with Lucille's embrace than he had ever been with anyone else's.

Thankfully, the guard got the message. “Alright, alright. Don't give me that look. Her Majesty wrote a letter. Apparently, this is supposed to be the second last chance. She is getting angrier with each day that you don't come home. There were two more tantrums and one extremely serious one since yesterday. I think she almost killed that poor servant girl after hitting her with a cup. Obviously, she wants you to come back. She misses you.”

Cedar let out a dry laugh. “How unexpected. It's a good thing that I already prepared a response for her.” He turned around and returned to the room to fetch his letter from the drawer. He hadn't intended to send it this early. Cedar had wanted to refine it more, but it fulfilled its purpose. He returned to the balcony and handed the paper over. “There you go. Tell her to be direct with her response. She should use clear words and convey her message directly. I don't want excuses that complicate everything. She'll have to tell me what she is thinking to my face, or I fear that I won't understand what she means. And keep in mind that she won't like reading this, even though she should know what comes. Avoid her after you give it to her.”

Reeve barely dared to get close enough to take the letter. He gave Cedar his envelope in return before withdrawing quickly. “You surely are scary when you are annoyed. I'm sorry for watching you. I won't do it again. But you should be happy that I'm here. After all, I was lucky this time. I can finally say it for real, even if you will get angry because of it. Happy birthday. Did you open your birthday gift already?”

Cedar sighed and quickly glanced at the door. There wasn't anyone here yet, so they had another minute or so. “You know that I'm not in the mood for that. I didn't have a chance to open it yet. I just stood up, and then Viscount Valerian barged in. I can open it tonight.” He didn't really want to, but he would probably end up doing it out of boredom.

But Reeve seemed to be content with that response. “I don't understand why you are like this, but as long as you open it, I'm happy. You will like it since I came up with-”

A knock from the entrance door cut him off.

Reeve nodded at the prince, who returned the gesture, before climbing away.

Cedar put the letter into his pocket and then went back into the room. He closed the balcony door behind him and sat on his bed. “You may enter.” Since this person hadn't spoken up, it wasn't Lucille. This made him suspect that it might be that nosy maid. And he was right.

The maid was already insecure when she entered, and he would make this much worse.

Cedar showed her a little smile while scanning how she cowered under his gaze. This would be way too easy. He would just speak to her for a moment, and after a few sentences, the danger of her spreading any rumors would be eliminated. If there was one thing he was good at, it was talking until the other person understood that there was only one acceptable choice for them.