The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar skimmed through the text on this page as well and didn't find any faults. Then he took the next document. This one was a bit different. It was the draft of a royal decree, and only the seal was missing. He read that with extra care and had to admit that he was a bit surprised. “You are forcing Lady Peril to give up half of her businesses?”

That certainly would be better since she would end up monopolizing even more of the cosmetic market otherwise. But it would be frowned upon if the emperor got involved with such an important decision.

Theodore lifted his head and showed the other man a bright smile. “Indeed. I'm not sure whether it will be necessary, so I'm just preparing it so that it's ready for use later. She might be clever enough to notice that I was serious last time. Maybe she will sell the half before being forced to give it away. I gave her an extensive explanation about the reasons, and she seemed rather surprised, so she might try to cause trouble. But I doubt that she will dare to do it. Otherwise, I can just remind her that making me her enemy is a bad idea.” Even though he said that while smiling, it sounded like a threat.

Cedar glanced down again before he spoke up. “I mean, it's not a bad idea. I just feel like she may not like this too much. If she and the other nobles you attacked work together, it could be a bit more problematic than you believe it to be. There could be some sort of collective appeal, and it will be hard to ignore that.”

Theodore's grin only widened. “You mean that they will give me a list with signatures of the people who disagree with my decision? That would be practical, would it not? Then we could be sure that we covered everyone we need to deal with. You know that I got rid of your biggest supporters last year, and now we mainly need to weed out the small ones that hide. Your list was helpful, and if they add their own names to it, it can only be beneficial.” It seemed like Theodore might be even more scheming than he had ever been in the past.

Leonard, who was in the middle of sorting some folders and picking old contracts they needed to redo, stopped to chime in. “You can rest assured that Theodore has a hundred different plans. He tries to be as kind as possible, and if that doesn't work, we can get much worse. You don't need to worry and can focus on your documents. The situation with Lady Peril should be resolved soon since she doesn't seem to be a stupid person. But-” He turned around and leaned against the table behind him while crossing his arms. “She might be impudent enough to ask for some sort of compensation since she lost money because of us. She could ask for something you won't like.”

Cedar didn't need to think about that for long. “Since my brother's decisions have nothing to do with me, I will certainly not feel responsible for what this means for her. Even if I did, I wouldn't do her a single favor.”

Leon let out a small snort. “It's refreshing to hear you admit that you dislike her. That is much more pleasant than you acting like a much too perfect, polite person the whole time.”

Cedar had to admit that he had always kept that facade upright in public. In the past, that had been because his mother had wanted him to become emperor, so he would have needed the nobles' support. Of course, he didn't need to gain that anymore, but he didn't think about changing his behavior much. After all, he had a different problem that required the public's favor now. “It's better if I make them like me. I still need to improve my reputation. While I don't plan on starting another revolt, they still remember the first. I need to be more than polite to make them forget that over time.” He left a short pause but spoke up as soon as he saw that Theodore wanted to add something. “By the way, Leon. Did you manage to make those idiots talk already?”

It had almost been three weeks since the three assassins had attacked Cedar in his room. By now, Leon should have received the most important news already.

And the secretary's grin made it seem like this was true. “What do you think? You know what I used to be. Of course, I made them talk. They had one week to speak without anything bad happening, and then we increased the pressure every day. In the end, they didn't even stop talking. Of course, those only were small fish, so we didn't find out a lot. But we do know that your mother had a secret passageway.”

Theodore chimed in here. “Indeed. That was what I wanted to address when we were done. I think it's fine if we do that now though. After all, Cedar finished enough work, and I did too.” He probably just wanted to hurry back to his family, but no one would complain. “We have three important topics to discuss.”

Cedar put down the pen and leaned against the backrest of his chair. It would probably take a little while, so he might as well make himself comfortable. “I assume that the first one is that you found the secret passageway. Where was it?”

Theodore paused for a bit too long, and his expression had become a bit more grim. It almost seemed like he wouldn't say it, but he ended up admitting it. “They mentioned one in the empress' chambers. Since that room is vacant and will be empty for a long time, we can simply put people there to watch the doors. But the assassins actually used one that ends in your old room. In the fireplace, to be more exact.” Of course. It was somewhat ironic.

That area only gave Cedar bad memories, and it got worse with everything that happened. “I see. Did you put guards there too?”

The emperor nodded. “Naturally. They will observe everything from now on.” His expression darkened a little more when he resumed. “And I have to admit that I...was a bit more drastic when it came to increasing the security now. There will be people watching those most likely to be targeted. That includes you and Lady Valerian. You will have to get used to people following you around now. I apologize.”

Cedar shrugged. “I'm already used to it. As long as they don't think it's funny to try to surprise me from behind. If they do that, they will end up on the floor with a knife at their throat without me even wanting to do it.”

Theodore only seemed even more upset upon hearing that and narrowed his eyes. “I will remind them to keep their distance and not to bother you when they aren't required. Do you think that it would be good if we...try to do something about that reflex?”

Maybe a normal person would have agreed, but Cedar immediately denied it. “Right now, it's rather helpful. Besides, I don't think that you can get rid of it so easily. But that isn't important. You said that there are three topics I need to hear. We covered one. What is the rest?”

Theodore stayed quiet for a short moment and looked like he wouldn't allow his brother to change the topic. But then, he luckily went along with it. “The second thing is related to our favorite person. We have countless new letters from your dear mother. She changed her strategy and is now doing everything to lure you in with sweet words and kind promises. She whines about how sick she is and about how you are breaking her heart. And then, she acts like she is such a wonderful person. She keeps sending small yellow drops. I don't even know what those are. I assume that you don't want them.”

Cedar affirmed that with a nod. “I don't. It's honey candy. She thinks I like them.”

Leonard chimed in at that point. “You don't?”

Cedar considered just denying it without any explanation, but then he just said the whole thing. “I used to like them when I was three or so. It's not my favorite anymore. Not ever since she gave them to me as some sort of reward. Those things are awfully sweet, and it's a little too much to enjoy it.” Even if he secretly enjoyed sweet things, he had to admit that honey candy was too sugary.

The fact that he had received that candy in itself had been odd too. His mother had never given him sweets because she had wanted him to eat what she deemed to be proper for a ruler. Something that wasn't childish. And yet, she had handed him the sweetest candy imaginable since she knew that it was the only snack he ever got and used it to make him do what she demanded. As always, Camille had been manipulative in all of her actions.

And she had been so successful while manipulating Cedar that he still despised admitting that he disliked something.

Thankfully, Theodore accepted his brother's words without commenting on them. “I will get rid of them. I will dispose of the letters too unless there is something important in there. But until now, she never wrote anything helpful. Do you want to read it anyway?” Definitely not.

Cedar would rather burn those letters before even considering touching them. He didn't need his messed-up brain to feel guilty for ignoring his mother's calls. Ever since he had visited her and left her behind, he had occasionally felt bad already. He pushed those thoughts away, so he didn't want new worries. “I do not see the need to do so. I will read them if you feel like there is something crucial there. But otherwise, I will leave it to you.”

Theodore nodded and closed the folder he had been writing in. “Good. Then we dealt with that too. Now only the third part is left, and that one is much more pleasant.” A bright smile showed up on his face. “We will have a meeting with the ministers in a short while. You could join.”

Cedar had actually believed that something pleasant would follow, and now he was already disappointed. He leaned against the backrest of his chair and showed his brother a radiant smile. “Didn't we have this conversation a few times already? Do I have to spell it out for you, or do you understand why this is a problem? I committed treason, Theodore. You can't let me take on political responsibilities. If I deal with some documents behind closed doors, no one will notice. But if I sit at the table while the ministers are present, it will be rather obvious what I'm doing here.”

Theodore rested his elbow on the table and his chin on his palm while making a rejecting gesture with the other hand. “You worry about my reign much more than I do. Didn't you notice that I'm in a stable position? Leave the worrying to me and just do what I tell you. Attend the meeting, and sit there. You can give us tips and do what you always do when we discuss laws. Is that fine? Or do I need to tell you to be the person who adds information about the constitution if necessary?”

Cedar held back a sigh and stared at his brother. It was bad enough that the perfect emperor didn't even worry about giving a convicted criminal power, and in addition, Theodore was awfully stubborn when it came to this matter. What would the emperor gain by doing this? Cedar had no desire to insert himself in such important matters, so he would keep on protesting. “If you insist on doing something so reckless, at least wait two or three years so that we can let the people forget about what happened last year. I don't need to listen to them claiming that I talked you into doing this or something like that.” He had recently begun to improve his reputation, and some people had stopped seeing him as the power-hungry younger prince who would gladly kill his brother for a taste of the throne. He wanted to let that old image fade, so he needed to hold back for a while.

But Theodore didn't seem to care about his brother's opinion much here. He just grinned. “We'll see.” They wouldn't. The decision here couldn't be made by just one person. But the emperor didn't listen and moved on without waiting for a response. “I think this is enough for today. I'm going to see my little angel and my lovely wife.” He stood up and put the folder back into the drawer.

Leon saw that as his cue to stop working as well. He put back whatever he had sorted and focused on the conversation again. “Really? So, you will come here and work and ignore me completely? We only talk about work at the moment. How unfair.”

Theodore raised his eyebrows at the other man. “You think so? I could swear that we talk about a lot of things that aren't work-related. I remember betting when a specific date would arise. Let's confirm that.” He turned to the prince, who had a bad premonition, and spoke up. “How are things going between you and Lady Valerian? Are you out of denial yet?”

Apparently, Leonard liked that topic since he chimed in too. “Can I expect another couple to cuddle here and kiss in front of me at all times soon? I need a warning before that happens, you know?”

Cedar crossed his arms as he scanned the other men. “Well...” This was none of their business at all. Normally, Cedar would stay quiet or joke about this. So, why did he want to tell them? Why did he want to speak about how he and Lucille finally were a couple? He held himself back for a moment before giving in. He told himself that it was because they would find out anyway, but he knew that he just wanted to brag about his cute lover. “We recently spoke about how to define our relationship.”

Theodore already seemed to see that as proof. He grinned at his brother and replied in a teasing voice. “How mysterious. And? What was the conclusion?”

A few seconds of silence passed. Then Leon already lost his patience. “Don't make us wait. I need to know whether I have to write another engagement contract soon.”

Cedar had to admit that he was a bit proud to say this, even if he felt strange while being honest too. “Of course, no one knows that yet, and I expect it to stay like that so that Lucille doesn't have to deal with strange conversations. But it will be fine if you know since you will pry into it anyway.” He paused for another few seconds to make his words more meaningful before voicing the truth that made him so happy. “I officially gained the title of being her lover.”

Leon immediately commented on that. “How come you needed to be in denial for over half a year before noticing that? I knew as soon as you carried her toward us.”

Theodore glanced at his secretary and waited for him to finish. As soon as he could speak, he began and made eye contact with his brother. “Congratulations. I wish the two of you the best. I'm happy that you finally acknowledged it. But I guess that you were the one that took so long. That poor girl probably had to ask you, right? Because she knew that you were friends and also romantically interested in one another but didn't want to take a step that might trouble you in the future. And then, you told her how unfavorable being with you would be for her. Still, she said that she likes you, and you said that you like her back. And now you are a couple.”

Cedar let out a little laugh. “That is awfully specific.” And it was awfully close to the truth. He didn't need his brother to predict his every movement, but he was less annoyed about this than he would be usually. “What made you think that that happened?”

Theodore hummed and sorted the pens on his desk while replying. “My conversation about our relationship with Blanche was very much similar. I was a dense prick too and needed her to point out that she liked me back. At that point, we had already held hands and cuddled, and still, I didn't dare to say anything. She needed to ask me whether I like her. Even if the response should have been obvious.” Hearing that was a bit calming.

Apparently, the prince wasn't the only one who had issues starting a relationship. At least Cedar had moved at a normal pace instead of letting Lucille move in with him after five seconds. Even though she had admittedly taken him in right after they had met.

Leon watched the brothers for a moment before speaking up. “I can see the similarities, and that's why I'm concerned. We don't need two members of the royal family who only live to see their wives.” That shouldn't be a problem, should it? “I will have to manage somehow. But please move slower than Theodore and don't just change your mind about whether you want to marry her overnight. Warn me before you propose.”

Cedar opened his mouth to affirm that but stopped. If he was completely honest, he and Lucille had discussed marriage multiple times now. Did that count as a proposal? He didn't get to think about that for longer though.

Leon already interrupted him with a louder volume. “Why are you so silent? Don't tell me you already did that.”

Cedar took a few seconds to recount his conversation with Lucille. He had told her that he would take responsibility for her. He would either support her financially or marry her if she agreed. So, he had proposed, right? He had said that he only needed her affirmation. Cedar stared into the distance for a moment before replying. “Maybe I did it in an indirect way?” Even now, he was uncertain.

Leonard didn't seem to find that funny. “How come you aren't sure about that? You can't propose to someone without noticing it!” It was somewhat odd to see a former assassin getting upset about such matters.

Cedar shrugged and just gave them the full story. “Well, I just wanted to calm Lucille down when she spoke about the rumors that could arise because of the kiss. She worried about never being able to marry, and I said that this wouldn't be a problem. I explained that she could just marry me if she doesn't find someone in the next few years. Later, we had a few other conversations about how our future would look if we really did marry, and she told me not to have a mistress. And then, her father came because he heard about the kiss during the ball. We told him to calm down since Lucille could become my wife if that is the best option for her.”

Leon was silent for a moment before he let his head fall back. His voice was dripping with a mix of irritation and amusement now. “You mean you went ahead and proposed, received her approval and got her father's blessing without really intending to do it? What is wrong with your family? How can you all progress a romance so quickly?”

Cedar shuffled around on his chair a bit while looking to the side. “We didn't say that we would marry yet.” He was rather sure that a marriage with him would trouble her more than it should. So, he was still reluctant to give in to the selfish part of him that told him that it had to be Lucille and that no one else could compare.

Theodore, who had previously just smiled with some worrisome glint of amusement in his eyes, spoke up. “Do you want to marry her?”

The prince was taken aback by that. He ignored how his irrational brain yelled a loud ‘yes’ inside his mind and replied calmly. “Spouses should get along, right? And Lucille and I get along really well. So, it wouldn't be bad.”

Theodore let out a low chuckle, which almost sounded like he found what his brother did funny. There even was an obvious amount of playfulness in his voice when he responded. “In other words, you want to marry her because you like her. Just be honest, Cedar. I can decode what you are trying to say, but she might not notice it. If you love her, you will need to tell her at some point.”

Cedar had always guessed that this would be the hardest part. After all, the word ‘love’ had never been related to something pleasant for him. It had been used as a way to manipulate him and to justify whatever his mother did because she definitely ‘loved’ him and his father. Because of that, she had never held back when it came to hurting him or threatening Althea because that poor woman liked Cedar's father too.

But then he had seen Theodore and Blanche. Those two truly loved each other and did whatever they could to help one another out. Even then, the prince had doubted that he would ever experience something like that.

And now, Cedar had tasted how it felt like to care about someone so deeply. And Lucille deserved to know how much he cared. So, he had forced himself to be honest whenever she had been uncertain and addressed their relationship. Even if he was still unsure whether he was sane enough to feel something like true love.

At least Cedar could be confident that he hadn't left her in the dark about what she meant to him. He hadn't been able to voice the full extent of what his head and heart told him, but he had said it. “I...did tell her. We both said that we like each other, and that this is romantic. And I said that this might be the closest to real affection that I ever got.” Why did his ears feel so warm? And even worse, why did his cheeks feel warm too? He definitely couldn't get so embarrassed now, or he would blush in front of his brother. He couldn't admit defeat like that. So, he changed the topic. “Besides, this is more about whether she wants to marry me. As you know, my position in noble society isn't the best. And I, as a person, am rather hard to deal with too. So, she should avoid all of that if she wants a comfortable life without much trouble.”

Because he obviously wasn't a good choice. His mother had successfully messed him up.

Theodore should know best. He had witnessed some of his brother's breakdowns and had been met with a lot of unjust hatred. But still, he smiled at Cedar and replied as if he knew what he was talking about. “She told you that you shouldn't look at other women aside from her, Cedar. She likes you and wants her position as your one and only. Don't be so dense. If she likes you and you like her, you are perfect for each other. As long as you do everything you can do to make her happy, you are more than fitting to be her husband. Don't present yourself as less than what you are.”

Cedar would have liked to have that much confidence when it came to who he was. Still, the doubts remained. He had done so many horrible things and hurt many people. Did he even deserve to act like he was a normal person now?

But even if that stayed in the back of his mind, he had already made the decision. He wanted to be the one for Lucille. He didn't want to leave this spot to anyone else, and he wanted to be the person to make her happy. He would do whatever he could for that.

That didn't make him a better person. But he could be the best version of himself for her.