The Bounty Hunter

September 13th, 2089

Terra’s POV

“Is this the place?”  I asked Kira as we stopped in front of an abandoned storefront.  “Yeah, this is it!”  Kira responded cheerfully as Irene was munching on some chips.  As an automaton she doesn’t need to eat, but she’s found it rather enjoyable.  She told me that she eats only partially for the taste.  The real fun is where she can tease the other girls by gorging on a mountain of sweets without caring about her weight.  The food energy is converted into a minimal amount of mana, which she can store or simply burn off instantly.

We entered the store, where Kira’s fighting manager Mr. Chino, AKA Ratface, was waiting.  I heard from both Kira and Veronica that he looks like a rat-kin, but I didn’t realize that he was such a dead ringer for those shifty bastards.  All he’s missing are the ears, whiskers and tail.  “Hey Mr. Chino!  This is Terra, he’s the buyer I mentioned.”  Kira called out to the ratty looking man.  Ratface nodded in greeting, showing no surprise at the bandanas Irene and I were wearing across our faces.  They were the same as what I used to wear back in the other world.  It feels good to have it on again.  And of course, once the girls saw it they all demanded one.  Kira isn’t wearing it currently since she is using her illusion artifact.

We followed Ratface to the basement, where a barred door was unlocked once they saw who it was.  The dank room was filled to the brim with guns, ammo and explosives.  SMGs, pistols, shotguns, light machine guns, assault weapons, I even saw a laser rifle hanging on the wall.  The reason why we’re here is because my former gun running contact has vanished.  I had bought all my illegal arms from him back when the other world was still around.  However, there has been a major shake-up in the underworld recently, resulting in his death.  I’ve been unable to get any more details than that.

The grizzly looking store owner gave us a once over before muttering “Show me you’re good for the money, or you can get the fuck out.  No e-cash, paper only.”  Kira took off the backpack she was carrying and unzipped it, showing the stacks of bills inside.  The owner grunted in acknowledgement before going back to his magazine.

I was waiting for Irene to start swearing at the owner, but her silence left me confused.  I turned to look at her, and her eyes were literally sparkling at the sight of all the weapons.  I didn’t know automatons could do that.  “Is that a M250 Punisher?!?  Oh wait, there’s a Tyrant revolver with a chrome finish!  Ahhh!  There are too many choices!  My processor is going to overload!”  she immediately moved over to me “Boss, how many guns can I buy?!?”  I looked at her joyful face and sighed “Three.”  The joyful look disappeared, to be replaced with her yakuza enforcer shaking down a target look.  “Oi, are you shittin’ me right now?  Three guns.  Da fuck am I to do with just three guns?  Boss, I demand at least eight, god damnit!”

Ratface and the store owner stared at Irene during her outburst.  Despite the bandana, anyone can tell the person behind it is a pretty, young woman.  Hearing said person swear worse than a sailor is disturbing to say the least.  I gave a subtle signal to Kira to distract Ratface and the store owner while I tried to placate the grumpy automaton.  “Fine, I’ll bump it up to four a—” “You cock-sucking, dog-fucking, sorry excuse for a unic, cunt!”  Before she could continue, I performed a light hand chop to her head.  She let out an indignant squeak, giving me the opening to finish my original sentence.  “Four guns, and I’ll throw in some magic artifacts as well.”  Irene’s anger vanished, and she was once again delighted.

“That’s why you’re the fuckin’ best, Boss!”  I sighed at her antics.  “Irene, why do always talk so crudely?”  Irene tilted her head at the question “My speech isn’t crude, it’s optimal.  The first thing I did after activation was optimize everything from my movement programs to my speech patterns.”  She continued her talking, oblivious to the fact that I was about to face palm.  “Blunt, direct speech supplemented with swear words was calculated to be the most optimal way to communicate.”  “Really?  You’re not just messing with me?”  “Damnit fucktard!  It’s either this or I can switch to the second most optimal setting of binary code mixed with sign language!”

There was a pause as she let that option sink in.  “… Choose your guns.”  Irene gave me a quick one-armed hug after my response before dashing off to look at some of the armaments.  *Sigh* Let’s get my own shopping out of the way before I forget.  I headed towards the 9mm caliber weapons, debating between my old 9mm pistols or something new.  It’s an important decision given that they’ll be my primary weapons from now on.  I’d much prefer my old rhomphaia, hell, I’d settle for any half-decent melee weapon.  But that’s not an option.  The last weapon I had was the katana, which I had modified for Hikari ages ago.

Unfortunately, creating magic artifacts is dependent on the materials used.  The enchantment also has to be applied while the item is being made for it to be permanent.  Most materials on Earth can’t hold an enchantment well, if at all.  My old guns were enchanted because I had a dwarven blacksmith smelt in mithril when I was getting my rhomphaia and ninjato reforged after that Asuran bounty damaged them.

I am not a master blacksmith, nor am I a gunsmith, so I can’t forge my own weaponry.  I have some basic metalworking skills, picked up way back when in Hafor, but it is not sufficient.  I could technically do it with magic, but that very magic would prevent any enchantments from sticking with the metal.  Finding a blacksmith here on Earth isn’t an option since the other worldly materials require specialized knowledge to work with.  Not to mention the questions I would have to answer about the materials.  The few magic artifacts I’ve made only require a little crafting skill, which is why I can do it in the first place.

As I searched through the illegal weaponry, I noticed a pair of .75 caliber custom pistols.  They had extended clips and an emblem of a shattered bone on the barrels.  I know these guns, they were a limited-edition neo pistol set called “Wristbreakers”.  The creator utilized the burgeoning supercomputer technology of the time to create the largest caliber handgun in history.  The supercomputers coordinated the magnetic dampeners in order to make it physically possible to fire without breaking bone.  It was a revolutionary design that allowed for unheard of range and stopping power for a handgun.  The power was too strong for it to be categorize as a pistol, thus it was classified as a “hand cannon”.  This magnetic dampener technology was then applied to other firearms, leading to a new age of ballistic weaponry.  It was the last step before the invention of energy-based weaponry.

Like most pre-war weaponry, the Wristbreakers became useless after the Cyber Plague of 2046.  Without the computer-coordinated magnetic dampeners, these guns literally break the wrists of any normal human who fires them.  “How much?”  I asked the store owner as I placed them on the counter.  “You’re the first person to ask about those.  I’ll do 200.  Get those wastes of space off my wall.”  Huh, the owner listed a reasonable price.

“Boss!  Get the fuck over here!  I need your opinion.”  Irene called me over to watch as she expertly twirled a rifle in here hands.  She took a pose with it and asked “What do you think?”  I nodded in approval “It’s fine.”  “I know!  What do you think of this one then?”  And thus the next 3 hours passed.  Ratface had left, while Kira was snoring next me as she leaned on my shoulder as we sat.  The store owner was still reading his magazine.

“Okay!  I think I’ve decided.”  Irene finally announced.  Kira jerked awake at her words, “Is it over?” she asked hopefully.  “Blondie, you need to learn to appreciate the finer fucking things in life.  Guns are a girl’s best friends you know?  It’s like a better version of a guy.  It shoots off when you want it to and it always keeps away the other guys when you say no.  And the only thing better than a good fuck is a good fight.”  Irene sagely said as Kira listened attentively.  “If you say so…”  Kira responded skeptically.  I too would find it hard to believe anything someone said if they were cuddling a shotgun like it was a teddy bear while saying it.

I paid for Irene’s painstakingly selected twin sawed-off shotguns, light machine gun, and sniper rifle before we left the establishment.  “Irene, you ready to start hunting?”  I asked as we walked home.  Irene’s response was a beautiful smile that radiated bloodlust “Hell yeah.”