Chapter 49: The Undeliverable Delivery (VIII)
They've just covered for you, saved you from being taken away by the police, and you feel it's a bit selfish and heartless to just walk away.
But you still have a bunch of deliveries to make.
"So, I'll stay for another half hour then ......?"
You look at the time and say hesitantly, "I have a delivery this afternoon, so I can only give you half an hour."
"OK, OK, OK!"
In order to catch up, the lady doesn't even have time to change into her pyjamas, so she goes to her bedroom and takes out a laptop and starts talking to you about your time loop.
She's a little upset that you're still delivering even though you've been given "free" time.
"Can't you do anything else with that half day?"
She points you out, "Have you ever seen this type of film? You have this half day to spend learning something or trying something you've never dared to try in your life ......"
She briefly tells you about a few films with plots like this.
"I tried."
You tell her about the clothes you bought and the big dinner you had.
As a result, her expression became even more regretful.
"Don't you know how to try things you wouldn't buy before? Food too, a little taste of the mountains and the sea is at least a life experience!"
"And then what, waking up the next day and suddenly realising that time has no time loop, and being able to spit out the mountain of food and carry on with your life?"
You are a pragmatic person who never wants to believe that God will give you good things for no reason.
"It's only my first official day on the job and I'm not due to be paid for another month!"
The little sister sighed, probably feeling tired.
"What are you thinking about going to work when you've had this bizarre experience? Isn't it boring to be delivering every day? A choice like yours, even if I wrote it as a script, would be so boring that no one would read it."
"What does it matter if I still continue to deliver every day? So many people don't have time to cycle and still do the same thing every day?"
You say.
The little sister froze.
"Students studying read every day, employees in office buildings repeat their 9 to 5 jobs, factory workers are on the assembly line every day, and soldiers in the army complete the same training day in and day out ......"
You gave many examples, "So I'm delivering every day, so what's wrong with that?"
"But you don't have to deliver every day, you're not like them, you have a choice ......"
The little sister tries to "enlighten" you.
"What's the point of taking the trouble to do this if everything is destined to go back to square one the next day? Will the many things you've eaten and seen make you happier as you cycle through time? No. Gaining and losing only makes you more miserable."
You've experienced the loss of clothes that you've taken the trouble to pick out and suddenly they're gone, and your clean body continues to be sticky - that's just two of the 'losses' you can afford, and it's not pleasant.
"Who knows if I'll stop the time loop the next day, rather than begging for it later, I'll just treat this day as an ordinary day and do what I need to do."
"But what if you have to stop in this time loop forever ......"
The little sister bites her lower lip and speaks to you about this terrible possibility, "Wouldn't it be painful if everyone and everything around you was set in stone, and you were the only one stuck in it, and you kept doing the same thing?"
"...... should do it."
You imagine it and have to admit that this is terrible.
"But I don't have time to cycle a few times now, and I don't know what will happen later, maybe the next day when my eyes open will be tomorrow? If it's really like you say, and I keep getting stuck in this day all the time, maybe I'll choose to try different things like you say just to keep from going crazy, but that's for later."
"But I hope to God that I am not punished in this way and that it is better to find out sooner this mistake that happened to me."
You hope from the bottom of your heart.
Knowing your thoughts and choices, she stops trying to persuade you to use these time cycles to "try" new things and instead becomes interested in you as a person and asks you about your personal situation.
You feel that these are a bit of a cross between a shallow and a deep conversation, and you only give a general idea of the situation, look at the time and want to say goodbye.
Before you leave, the lady sees you off in the entrance hall and hands you a business card.
"Here's my contact details, you can save them ......"
Looking at you with a puzzled look, the lady uncomfortably ruffles her hair at her temples and explains with a slight blush, "You're just starting the time loop now, so maybe it doesn't bother you much, but if you're stuck on the same day day after day, you're going to be tired and want to talk to someone, right?"
"I'm a screenwriter and have seen many films and TV productions with experiences similar to yours, and many of the protagonists in these films were under a lot of psychological pressure later on, some even on the verge of collapse."
She looks at you worriedly, "I was thinking that if one day you really find the boring repetition of this kind of day quite boring, I'd be willing to try a different option with you, it might not be as painful to have someone else to share it with. And don't feel like you're bothering me, it's just a day spent with a stranger for me anyway, right?"
But just because you're willing to listen now doesn't mean you're willing in every time loop.
Thinking about the near-miss you just made, you voice your concerns.
"Then let's make a code word, a code word that only I know."
The little sister's eyes light up when she sees that you are not averse to such a "relationship".
"Well, let's see ......"
She leaned against the door and thought for a moment, "If you come looking for me next time, you can just tell me that I had a crush on our class president in third grade and secretly put roadside wildflowers under his window for a month ......"
You start to laugh when you hear her "secret".
"I've never told anyone about this, no one in the world knows about it but me, and I'll take your word for it as long as you talk to me in other timelines."
She also began to be embarrassed, "If you want a change of mood, you can come to me, you have to trust my professionalism and brain to take such bizarre things, and I would like to be your friend."
After all, it's not the kind of person who would fight every day, every day, to save someone who is not related to them.
Risking a fall from a fifth floor balcony.
This time, you take the business card handed to you by Qin Rourou and promise her that you will remember her number.
From today onwards, you will have to remember something other than the winning set of lottery numbers, and a new set of numbers - the mobile phone number of your new friend.
As you descend the stairs of Missy's flat, you quietly feel for the lottery ticket hidden in your pocket and wipe your sweat nervously.
"Luckily I'm resourceful and a bite insists on a daily delivery ......"
You rejoice in your heart.
"Otherwise in case she asks for my lottery numbers, do I give them or not?"
With a small sense of guilt for not bringing your new friend along to "make a fortune", you choose to continue delivering the rest of your delivery. After a long delay at the lady's house, it's almost three o'clock and a large part of the delivery has yet to be delivered.
You sorted the rest of the deliveries by category and finished the rest of the job quickly, following your experience from the previous days. On your way back to the office, you splurged on some brats and returned to the business location.
As soon as the cold-faced team leader sees you back, he surrounds you with questions about what happened this afternoon, why there was a police call to investigate your information and whether you were out getting into trouble.
You didn't dare use the "girlfriend" routine to fool the team leader, but just told him about your concerns and the mess you had made, and explained clearly that the police had already criticised and educated you, but the team leader still wouldn't let you go.
He tells you that their company does not condone criminal violations, from stealing deliveries sent by courier owners to committing treachery, and that they will fire anyone found to have done so.
It is true that you trespassed on someone's home today, and although the police did not pursue the matter and the subject forgave you, you cannot trespass on someone's house based on mere subjective assumptions.
Your actions have caused "irregularities" and damage to the company's reputation, so according to the company's rules and regulations, you do not have to come to work tomorrow and are responsible for the handover in the next two days.
He also tells you that the labour contract states that if your actions have any bad publicity for the company, you are responsible for compensating the company for any losses incurred as a result.
It's hard to feel bad when you've been misunderstood when you're clearly trying to "do the right thing".
You try to explain your urgency to the team leader and to ask for help from other "colleagues".
However, when you look for help, other colleagues avert their eyes, and your "mentor", who has been hard pressed to plead with the team leader, is reprimanded.
You hand over your work permit with an ironic grimace and walk out of the business location.
When you had gone a long way, your "master" came out after you, shouting your name from afar.
You think that things have turned around again and stop in your tracks in anticipation, waiting for the "Master" to say something that might cheer you up.
And he just catches up with you and silently hands over the bag of brussel sprouts you bought on the side of the road.
"You haven't eaten in the evening, it's ...... hey, anyway, you remember to eat and don't go hungry."
He stammered, shoving the bag with the brussel sprouts into your hand, "The sky is not as big as eating, you can find another job if you don't have one, you have strength and perseverance, this city is big, there is no shortage of jobs."
You stiffen up, take the bag and, with your head bowed, thank the "master" who has been teaching you for two months.
The master walks away with a long sigh and you sit on the side of the road.
Although you know that the decision to "fire" you today may have no impact on your "tomorrow".
Also know that a hundred lottery numbers in your arms will guarantee you, even when you don't have time to cycle tomorrow, a good life without work ......
But you still feel shame and embarrassment.
You feel that you have failed to live up to the expectations that your "master" has placed on you over the months.
The last time you felt this way was when you had to opt out of the army for your mother.
You are the surviving child of a single mother who raised you after the early death of your father who joined the army. Your parents were very old before they married and had children, so your grandparents and maternal grandparents died long ago.
Although you were a city resident, your family was not well off, so instead of continuing your education, you chose to join your father and go into the army.
You like your life in the army and want to make a difference to your family's life by staying here all the time on your own.
However your mother's cancer has dashed that hope as well.
In order to treat her, you sold your old house, gave up your dignity and borrowed from all the relatives and friends you could.
In the end, in order to raise enough money to save your life and to pay off the debts you owe to your relatives, you chose to take off the uniform.
--only for that discharge money.
Your leader slips you a thick envelope on your way out.
"When you change jobs, don't forget that you are a son or daughter who came out of the army, and keep up the good work."
He was lamenting the same look on his face as the master who had just sent you away.
The letter, filled with donations put together by comrades.
You didn't end up saving your mother, but the money made her deathbed less painful, if only for that, and for that, you have no regrets, only regrets.
When your mother died, you became an "orphan".
So you left that sad place back home and chose to come and work in the city where your father was born. It was your first job in self-employment after changing jobs and you just wanted to try to do it well.
You never want to be a deserter or fail others.
But fate has a way of playing tricks on you and giving you a taste of what it means to have things go wrong.
Evicted, actively abandoned and misunderstood, you are at a loss as to how to defend yourself or how to be believed.
That's when you realise - not everyone is like that Qin Rourou girl.
You take Qin Rourou's business card out of your pocket and try to remember her number.
Having finished reciting the number, you pat the dust and stand up.
The good news is that you may still have a "tomorrow" to choose from.
Tomorrow, you have to try to do a little better and not let anyone down.
Carrying a bruschetta that would have been enough for a business point of colleague get-together, you have no desire to eat it at all.
You suddenly remember the old man you missed in the morning and you decide to share this bitter "treat" with him.
So you carry the brussel sprouts and find your way back to the street corner where you meet the old man every day.
But the wandering old man wasn't there, and there was only a large group of people on the road surrounding that spot, pointing.
You squeeze past, full of questions, only to hear people chattering.
"Ouch, that's terrible, that car just rolled over!"
"Probably hungry, right? I can't see him walking steadily when he stands up!"
"Hey, I should have given him something to eat when I came through here this afternoon, these homeless people have no food, many of them have low blood sugar, when they are hungry they get dizzy!"
As you listen to their discussion, a bad suspicion rises up in your mind, a suspicion that makes you look panicked and push your way through the crowd of onlookers to ask what is going on.
From their answers you know that the homeless old man suddenly fainted while crossing the road, and as it was late in the day, the passing vehicle did not notice the homeless old man lying in a visually blind area and accidentally ran over him.
You've come at a bad time, the ambulance has just dropped off the elderly man who had an accident.
You have only just made a wish in your heart to do better and not to let anyone down when you find out that your forgotten 'good deed' may indirectly lead to an even more tragic fate for the elderly.
When you find out what happened, the brussel sprouts fall out of your hands and you fall to the side of the road, disoriented.
The resignation you had just felt and the burden on your conscience now overwhelm you, and you put your hands over your head and hide your face between your knees.
At this point, you should enquire which hospital the elderly homeless person has been taken to and check if he is safe ......
Or should we try to work through the guilt and hope that "tomorrow I will do better"?