The Barbarian's Tale

“My dear child…”

When Rae first heard that voice and first felt that hand stroking his hair smooth, he thought he really was in heaven. First, the heavenly maiden had fed him some divine potion, and felt that hand stroking his hair smooth, he thought his own mother was by his side…

Rae leaned into the fantasy for some time, keeping his eyes tightly squeezed shut as Nana sat beside him.

“My child…”

She told him all the old stories he used to love. Stories of witches and curses, heroes and beasts. Stories that bridged the gap between the mountains and the heavens.

But no dream could last forever, and Rae knew he had to return to the mortal realm sooner or later. When Nana had gotten up to add another log to the fire, Rae sat up.

“My dear, don’t get up so quickly, your health is still fragile!” Nana startled at the sudden sight of him awake.

“It’s alright,” Rae said, rubbing his eyes, “I must have caused a lot of worry, how is everything?”

He dreaded hearing about all the work Duke Bejuk had lined up for him over the last couple of days. And all the criticisms Duke Ashem would have prepared.

“There will be no talk of that!” Nana scolded, “You’ve been through quite enough. The Dukes have handled all matters regarding the burial on your behalf,”

“The burial?”

He couldn’t say exactly how long had passed, but he knew he must have been bedridden for at least a day. Did that mean the auspicious day had-

“This morning. They decided to conduct the ceremony while the weather was still fair. You wouldn’t wake, and Master Sebi said it was best to let you recuperate,”

Rae felt a wave of relief, swiftly followed by disgust. What a pathetic excuse for a son he was. Nana must have seen his face. She squeezed his palm.

“Dear child, you must have something to eat. When you’re feeling strong enough, I’ll take you to pay your respects at the grave,”

Nana called for a servant and Laela appeared at the door. She brought Rae hot porridge with berries and a light herbal tea.

Nana chatted away as he ate. Rae learnt that Sebi had been the one tending to him, and silently cringed at the memory of his heavenly maiden. Gaori had visited several times, but Rae had always been asleep. Rae hoped in their time apart, Gaori hadn’t gotten into too much trouble.

“What of Ven Ashem?” Rae asked and saw a shadow descend on Nana’s face.

“Darling, he… He was the one who gave you the poisoned food, wasn’t he?”

“No, no! I was given them at a tea shop in the camp. It was stupid, I should have been more careful-“

“But he was the one who took you to that tea shop. He probably convinced you to eat them, and he didn’t have a single bite for himself…”

Rae had only just woken up, and his head was already hurting.

“Nana, how do you know all this?”

“That’s the story he’s been telling, but the tea house has been searched, and no one is quite sure where the tainted goods came from… Duke Ashem is protecting his son, and Duke Bejuk withholds judgment until he can speak with you…”

“…” Rae didn’t know what to say.

Before Rae could sort through the tempest of emotions, Laela appeared at the doorway again.

“Your Majesty,” she said, “the Shana just dropped off some gifts, would you like me to bring them in?”

Before Rae could say a word, Nana had stood up.

“Bring them in? Gifts from that woman? Get them out of his majesty’s sight,” she said with a venom Rae had never heard before.

Laela startled and muttered an “excuse me,” before hurrying out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Rae swallowed.

“Nana…”

They had spent many years apart, and those years had clearly been much harder on Nana than Rae had realised. With everything that had happened, they would both be justified in holding a grudge against the Ashem for the rest of their lives.

Even so, since Rae had returned to the camp… He was more and more realising that Ashem weren’t the monsters he had thought them.

“…I don’t think-“

“-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I overreacted. But when I first came in, you were having a nightmare and you were calling for your mother…

“I felt so sorry, that she isn’t here when you still need her… And being reminded of that woman and all the disrespect she’s shown you both… This servant was presumptuous. I’ll watch my words in the future,”

“Now now, don’t talk like that. Let’s forget all about it,”

Rae was feeling well enough to get out of bed, so after a few more minutes of fussing, Nana went to report his condition to Duke Bejuk. Once she was gone, and Rae was dressed, he went and found Laela to take a look at his gifts.

They were as he expected; elegant but impersonal: fine silks, furs, trinkets bought from the desert peoples or imperial traders. No foodstuffs, which made sense given the circumstances.

The last gift he opened was a lacquer box containing a few crystal goblets nestled in pale crepe wrapping. Rae might have set them down in a cupboard and forever forgotten about them, if not for something unusual.

Hidden in the corner of the box was a flash of crimson. A silk handkerchief, folded into a tiny square. Rae thought it might have been left there by mistake, and absentmindedly unfolded it. It had been embroidered with a simple flower pattern, and hidden inside the folds was a scrap of parchment. Written in elegant black ink was a short poem:

As the flowers wilt

and the trees weep

day after day

my heart yearns for thee

Rae didn’t recognise the hand, but something about the poem, and the secretive way it had been delivered… As he read it, he heard a certain voice. A low, sultry, teasing voice.

Weeping trees. Forlorn flowers. A meeting place. Rae didn’t stop to think.

He was able to sneak out of his private courtyard out to the backwoods without seeing a soul. The area around his mother’s grave was as quiet and neglected as ever, hidden beneath the shroud of willow vines.

Rae’s heart was pounding as he pushed the leaves aside.

“!”

He was greeted by Ven Ashem, in a most pitiful state. He had been sat beside the grave, eyes shut, as if napping. At the sound of Rae’s footfalls, he startled awake. He rubbed his puffy eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Why did you come here?” he asked.

“I thought… If I came here, I might find you,” Rae said.

The subtle widening of Ven’s eyes, his quiet gasp… it made Rae’s heart stutter. The realisation was a heady one.

Rae was now used to all logic flying out the window whenever he laid eyes on Ven. Was used to all his pent-up anxiety being blasted away by his easy smile and effortless charm.

For once, he wanted to be the one to set Ven’s heart at ease.

“I read your poem and… and I’m feeling much better, so I came to look for you,”

“Forgive me, I was feeling lonely, so I wrote a self-indulgent little verse, hoping to get your attention,” he said with a wry smile.

Rae didn’t know what to say. I’m glad you did. At that moment, all he could think of was what he wanted to do.

He stepped closer to Ven. They’d been this close before. Hell, that first night, Rae had sought comfort in his warm, broad chest.

This close, the difference in height was all the more noticeable. For their eyes to meet, Rae would have to stand on his toes.

“Ven,” Rae took a deep breath, “I… I don’t know how to say this,”

“It’s alright,” he said. But he still had this resigned look in his eyes. A distance that wasn’t there before.

“No, No! I just need time to say it right. I didn’t think it through before I started,”

“You’ve been through an ordeal. And after I burdened you with all my feelings… It’s alright, you don’t need to say anymore,”

Their was a misty sadness in Ven’s eyes, despite his efforts to force a smile. It seemed like at any moment, he might turn back towards the palace. Without thinking, Rae grabbed his sleeve and held on tight.

“I’ve not been burdened, and I do need to say more…” But no matter what, he couldn’t find the words. He had never even thought of expressing such feelings before. He would have to rely on actions instead.

He leaned closer until their breaths were intermingling, relishing the awed look Ven gave him. It gave him a burst of courage for the next step.

Just as Rae was ready to brush his lips against Ven’s, there was a shout from behind them.

Rae, ever prepared for an ambush, spun on his heels as a projectile narrowly missed his head. He heard the oof of something hitting Ven but was too stunned by the sight before him to turn around.

“Leave his majesty alone, you- you ruffian!” Sebi’s voice was several octaves higher than usual. His face, normally as pale as snow, was as red as mountain berry wine.

“…” Rae didn’t know what to say.

“Who are you calling a ruffian? You’re the one throwing heavy bags at people,” Ven said, in a mirthless tone.

Rae speechless as he was, could only turn to stare at Ven. There was a red mark across his cheek and forehead where the projectile had hit him, and in his hand was a worn leather satchel. Rae recognised it as the one Sebi always had hung at his waist, which clinked with bottles and jars whenever he moved.

Before either of them could respond further Sebi had surged forward to snatch his satchel back.

“Be careful! That’s got my precious supplies in it!” he said, and before Ven could retort that he hadn’t been the one throwing it around, Sebi grabbed Rae’s arm and pulled him a few paces away.

“Your majesty, are you feeling alright? Did he frighten you?”

Rae cleared his throat, fretting over how red his face must be. The only solace was Sebi’s face was surely even worse, and his hands very clammy.

“I…” he glanced at Ven, who was fighting off a smirk, “I… I need to get back to work, where is Duke Bejuk?”

Rae strode off without another look at Sebi or Ven, directing the question at no one in particular. If either one answered he didn’t hear over the blood rushing in his ears.

What madness had taken over him? These last few weeks, it felt like he had been under a witch’s spell. Kissing? Ven Ashem? He should never have spoken to him in the first place, and now he wanted… what? To settle down with him in their own tree house. To build themselves a little love nest. There were reasons Rae had never dared dally with anyone before and he’d be wise not to forget them.

But… Rae couldn’t help but notice he didn’t

“My dear child…”

When Rae first heard that voice and first felt that hand stroking his hair smooth, he thought he really was in heaven. First, the heavenly maiden had fed him some divine potion, and felt that hand stroking his hair smooth, he thought his own mother was by his side…

Rae leaned into the fantasy for some time, keeping his eyes tightly squeezed shut as Nana sat beside him.

“My child…”

She told him all the old stories he used to love. Stories of witches and curses, heroes and beasts. Stories that bridged the gap between the mountains and the heavens.

But no dream could last forever, and Rae knew he had to return to the mortal realm sooner or later. When Nana had gotten up to add another log to the fire, Rae sat up.

“My dear, don’t get up so quickly, your health is still fragile!” Nana startled at the sudden sight of him awake.

“It’s alright,” Rae said, rubbing his eyes, “I must have caused a lot of worry, how is everything?”

He dreaded hearing about all the work Duke Bejuk had lined up for him over the last couple of days. And all the criticisms Duke Ashem would have prepared.

“There will be no talk of that!” Nana scolded, “You’ve been through quite enough. The Dukes have handled all matters regarding the burial on your behalf,”

“The burial?”

He couldn’t say exactly how long had passed, but he knew he must have been bedridden for at least a day. Did that mean the auspicious day had-

“This morning. They decided to conduct the ceremony while the weather was still fair. You wouldn’t wake, and Master Sebi said it was best to let you recuperate,”

Rae felt a wave of relief, swiftly followed by disgust. What a pathetic excuse for a son he was. Nana must have seen his face. She squeezed his palm.

“Dear child, you must have something to eat. When you’re feeling strong enough, I’ll take you to pay your respects at the grave,”

Nana called for a servant and Laela appeared at the door. She brought Rae hot porridge with berries and a light herbal tea.

Nana chatted away as he ate. Rae learnt that Sebi had been the one tending to him, and silently cringed at the memory of his heavenly maiden. Gaori had visited several times, but Rae had always been asleep. Rae hoped in their time apart, Gaori hadn’t gotten into too much trouble.

“What of Ven Ashem?” Rae asked and saw a shadow descend on Nana’s face.

“Darling, he… He was the one who gave you the poisoned food, wasn’t he?”

“No, no! I was given them at a tea shop in the camp. It was stupid, I should have been more careful-“

“But he was the one who took you to that tea shop. He probably convinced you to eat them, and he didn’t have a single bite for himself…”

Rae had only just woken up, and his head was already hurting.

“Nana, how do you know all this?”

“That’s the story he’s been telling, but the tea house has been searched, and no one is quite sure where the tainted goods came from… Duke Ashem is protecting his son, and Duke Bejuk withholds judgment until he can speak with you…”

“…” Rae didn’t know what to say.

Before Rae could sort through the tempest of emotions, Laela appeared at the doorway again.

“Your Majesty,” she said, “the Shana just dropped off some gifts, would you like me to bring them in?”

Before Rae could say a word, Nana had stood up.

“Bring them in? Gifts from that woman? Get them out of his majesty’s sight,” she said with a venom Rae had never heard before.

Laela startled and muttered an “excuse me,” before hurrying out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Rae swallowed.

“Nana…”

They had spent many years apart, and those years had clearly been much harder on Nana than Rae had realised. With everything that had happened, they would both be justified in holding a grudge against the Ashem for the rest of their lives.

Even so, since Rae had returned to the camp… He was more and more realising that Ashem weren’t the monsters he had thought them.

“…I don’t think-“

“-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I know I overreacted. But when I first came in, you were having a nightmare and you were calling for your mother…

“I felt so sorry, that she isn’t here when you still need her… And being reminded of that woman and all the disrespect she’s shown you both… This servant was presumptuous. I’ll watch my words in the future,”

“Now now, don’t talk like that. Let’s forget all about it,”

Rae was feeling well enough to get out of bed, so after a few more minutes of fussing, Nana went to report his condition to Duke Bejuk. Once she was gone, and Rae was dressed, he went and found Laela to take a look at his gifts.

They were as he expected; elegant but impersonal: fine silks, furs, trinkets bought from the desert peoples or imperial traders. No foodstuffs, which made sense given the circumstances.

The last gift he opened was a lacquer box containing a few crystal goblets nestled in pale crepe wrapping. Rae might have set them down in a cupboard and forever forgotten about them, if not for something unusual.

Hidden in the corner of the box was a flash of crimson. A silk handkerchief, folded into a tiny square. Rae thought it might have been left there by mistake, and absentmindedly unfolded it. It had been embroidered with a simple flower pattern, and hidden inside the folds was a scrap of parchment. Written in elegant black ink was a short poem:

As the flowers wilt

and the trees weep

day after day

my heart yearns for thee

Rae didn’t recognise the hand, but something about the poem, and the secretive way it had been delivered… As he read it, he heard a certain voice. A low, sultry, teasing voice.

Weeping trees. Forlorn flowers. A meeting place. Rae didn’t stop to think.

He was able to sneak out of his private courtyard out to the backwoods without seeing a soul. The area around his mother’s grave was as quiet and neglected as ever, hidden beneath the shroud of willow vines.

Rae’s heart was pounding as he pushed the leaves aside.

“!”

He was greeted by Ven Ashem, in a most pitiful state. He had been sat beside the grave, eyes shut, as if napping. At the sound of Rae’s footfalls, he startled awake. He rubbed his puffy eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Why did you come here?” he asked.

“I thought… If I came here, I might find you,” Rae said.

The subtle widening of Ven’s eyes, his quiet gasp… it made Rae’s heart stutter. The realisation was a heady one.

Rae was now used to all logic flying out the window whenever he laid eyes on Ven. Was used to all his pent-up anxiety being blasted away by his easy smile and effortless charm.

For once, he wanted to be the one to set Ven’s heart at ease.

“I read your poem and… and I’m feeling much better, so I came to look for you,”

“Forgive me, I was feeling lonely, so I wrote a self-indulgent little verse, hoping to get your attention,” he said with a wry smile.

Rae didn’t know what to say. I’m glad you did. At that moment, all he could think of was what he wanted to do.

He stepped closer to Ven. They’d been this close before. Hell, that first night, Rae had sought comfort in his warm, broad chest.

This close, the difference in height was all the more noticeable. For their eyes to meet, Rae would have to stand on his toes.

“Ven,” Rae took a deep breath, “I… I don’t know how to say this,”

“It’s alright,” he said. But he still had this resigned look in his eyes. A distance that wasn’t there before.

“No, No! I just need time to say it right. I didn’t think it through before I started,”

“You’ve been through an ordeal. And after I burdened you with all my feelings… It’s alright, you don’t need to say anymore,”

Their was a misty sadness in Ven’s eyes, despite his efforts to force a smile. It seemed like at any moment, he might turn back towards the palace. Without thinking, Rae grabbed his sleeve and held on tight.

“I’ve not been burdened, and I do need to say more…” But no matter what, he couldn’t find the words. He had never even thought of expressing such feelings before. He would have to rely on actions instead.

He leaned closer until their breaths were intermingling, relishing the awed look Ven gave him. It gave him a burst of courage for the next step.

Just as Rae was ready to brush his lips against Ven’s, there was a shout from behind them.

Rae, ever prepared for an ambush, spun on his heels as a projectile narrowly missed his head. He heard the oof of something hitting Ven but was too stunned by the sight before him to turn around.

“Leave his majesty alone, you- you ruffian!” Sebi’s voice was several octaves higher than usual. His face, normally as pale as snow, was as red as mountain berry wine.

“…” Rae didn’t know what to say.

“Who are you calling a ruffian? You’re the one throwing heavy bags at people,” Ven said, in a mirthless tone.

Rae speechless as he was, could only turn to stare at Ven. There was a red mark across his cheek and forehead where the projectile had hit him, and in his hand was a worn leather satchel. Rae recognised it as the one Sebi always had hung at his waist, which clinked with bottles and jars whenever he moved.

Before either of them could respond further Sebi had surged forward to snatch his satchel back.

“Be careful! That’s got my precious supplies in it!” he said, and before Ven could retort that he hadn’t been the one throwing it around, Sebi grabbed Rae’s arm and pulled him a few paces away.

“Your majesty, are you feeling alright? Did he frighten you?”

Rae cleared his throat, fretting over how red his face must be. The only solace was Sebi’s face was surely even worse, and his hands very clammy.

“I…” he glanced at Ven, who was fighting off a smirk, “I… I need to get back to work, where is Duke Bejuk?”

Rae strode off without another look at Sebi or Ven, directing the question at no one in particular. If either one answered he didn’t hear over the blood rushing in his ears.

What madness had taken over him? These last few weeks, it felt like he had been under a witch’s spell. Kissing? Ven Ashem? He should never have spoken to him in the first place, and now he wanted… what? To settle down with him in their own tree house. To build themselves a little love nest. There were reasons Rae had never dared dally with anyone before and he’d be wise not to forget them.

But… Rae couldn’t help but notice he didn’t feel relief that Sebi had stopped him. There was an itching feeling he couldn’t shake. A churning in his gut, a tingling on his lips, an aching in his heart.

Rae longed to look back and see what face Ven might be making, but his pride prevailed. He stormed away from the clearing, taking random turns down passageways and into courtyards. Only when he was sure that neither man had followed him, and that there was no one else around, did he pause.

Rae covered his treacherous lips with a shaking hand and tried to steady his breathing.

feel relief that Sebi had stopped him. There was an itching feeling he couldn’t shake. A churning in his gut, a tingling on his lips, an aching in his heart.

Rae longed to look back and see what face Ven might be making, but his pride prevailed. He stormed away from the clearing, taking random turns down passageways and into courtyards. Only when he was sure that neither man had followed him, and that there was no one else around, did he pause.

Rae covered his treacherous lips with a shaking hand and tried to steady his breathing.