LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 26 – A Woman Whose Learn Love, Ai Four
Ai Perspective
Sometimes time goes by very fast, and before I know it, my two children are grown up and soon to enter elementary school. Our lives have all gotten better. I think all this happened after my performance that day. There was someone in the show who took a video of my children dancing, as idol fans usually do.
It seemed to have gone viral, which was, of course, because my two children were so cute and had inherited my genes. It wouldn't be strange if they became famous.
Oops, I have to stop there, or I might end up talking too much about my two children.
Thanks to its popularity, I saw a few tweets talking about my smile that appeared because I saw my two children.
Honestly, I was quite surprised at how genuine my smile was. I never imagined that I could smile like that. I could also see various good comments about my smile.
I could even see people who had commented negatively about me before turning around and commenting positively on me. It inspired me to think that this was the kind of smile that people liked.
"I see... So this is why you like... Now I know..."
Knowing that, I always tried hard to give the fans that kind of smile. Then slowly, I think, I got more and more work. Not only with idol appearances, I also started to get jobs as a model and even appeared on radio shows.
I think my career as an idol is progressing very well.
However, this wasn't the only thing that happened after the viral video. A few days after the video went viral, Miyako came to me and said that it would be a good idea for me to capitalize on the viral fame and make my two children the stars of commercials and the like.
Of course, I was hesitant, but when I saw my two babies, who wanted to be on television like me. Well, it makes my heart melt, and like a doting mother, I can only agree to my children's wishes. Well, the money they earn now can be used for good things in the future too. In the end, I allowed it, especially when Ichigo himself was quite pleased with the proposal made by Miyako.
But never did we all imagine that my twins would be so famous not only among the masses, but also in various child product and director circles because of how easy and smart they both are.
It seems that many people are praising my two children as prodigies of actors in the making.
When I heard people praising my twins, I couldn't help but smile and be happy for them. I think at some point in time, there's a possibility that my twins might be more famous than me. I can see billboards and advertisements filled with their faces.
As expected of my children.
Even so, I can't lose and will keep working hard so that I can dance better, sing better, and perform better until no one can stop me.
Then my journey as an idol changed when I got a job as a side actor in a thriller movie that also coincided with Aqua. Miyako told me that this opportunity was mine thanks to Aqua.
My previous work as an actress didn't go too well, as I only appeared in one scene. Which made me think that acting wasn't very good. Therefore, I will perform as well as I can and not waste the opportunity given by Aqua.
And I did it... The thriller movie made by director Taishi won an award, and my career took off after that. Various jobs and offers as a brand ambassador came in. Then, two years later, B-Komachi managed to perform at the Tokyo Dome. Everyone was very happy, though in the end I wasn’t still able to honestly express my feelings of love for my fans and toward my children.
Not long after the performance, Miyako came up to me and said,
"Ai... You know that the three of you have been busy for many years, and your twins will soon enter elementary school. At such a time, you guys will be even busier. I think it would be good for you to take some time for a vacation with your twins."
When I heard Miyako's words, I felt a little reprimanded. But, what she said was true. Although I always try to be with the twins and celebrate everything...
In the end, because of my job as an idol. The three of us hardly ever spend time together, like on vacations at amusement parks and the like. The three of us are also busy with our respective jobs too.
Come to think of it, I was lucky to have a child who was understanding of my situation as an idol, never complained, and became a good and smart child. Which sometimes made me feel a little guilty.
"How about we go camping in my next free time?" I asked my children, the twins. Ruby, as usual, was happy and hugged me tightly, while Aqua just watched from afar. He only came over and hugged me when I gave him the signal to come into my arms. Unlike Ruby, Aqua seemed shy enough to ask for affection from me.
Well, there was actually one thing I thought of at the time. I think I'm slowly finding my happiness as an idol and mother. I had become a successful idol and was able to perform at the Tokyo Dome, while at the same time having and raising twins who were not only smart and kind. They were also successful as child actors.
Yeah, although I can tell anyone I'm happy. Still, I can't really say love in true meaning.
I wonder why…
I think that I'm getting closer to understanding that when I spend time with my children. Compared to the fans...
Yeah, every time I spent my time with them. It felt like my life was so blessed. No matter what happens, I will not regret my decision to give birth to my children. That’s why I started to try my best to spend my time with my twins. We went to as many places as we could, of course, we usually went somewhere quiet to keep the three of us out of the public eye.
Yeah, I’m happy to become their mother… I am blessed with such good children. Even so, I can’t muster my courage to say that ‘I love them’... In the end, I’m a coward person after all.
Because my mother left me, I started to become a person who told lies and hated others, and I built a wall around me so that no one would come close to me and I wouldn't feel hurt again...
I'm that kind of person... And that didn't change much, even though I became an Idol. I'm still a coward who hides from lies, hoping that one day I'll understand love and all my lies will come true.
Even though I myself realize that I have actually recognized what love is. Every moment with my children was a blessing. Even so, I still can't say that I love you to the twins.
This showed how cowardly I was… Because I was afraid and felt hurt… I can’t express those words to them. Because I always lie that if I happen to say those words toward my children and know myself that it was a lie…
My heart may be unable to hold it, or I may feel myself withering away … even though knowing this already shows how much I love them.
So in the end, I couldn’t muster the courage to say those words… because I was afraid of them happening…
That’s why I let myself be spoiled by my own children. Their kindness and understanding of anything that is their mother's weakness…Their beings were my blessing in this word.
Every time, I wanted to say those words, but in the end, I closed my mouth because I felt scared. But. it’s fine… I convinced myself…
The three of us have spent a long time together and will always be together. Yeah, I have a lot of time until I can say those words to them.
It wasn't like we were going to be separated abruptly…
Yeah… I will say those words to them…
One day…
Until, I saw with my own eyes my own child lying on the floor covered in blood. I can’t even think straight… and my world seems to be shattered to pieces.
