Thank You For Being Trash

As he called her name, the figure beneath him breathed heavily in excitement. It was delightful. It was so delightful that the hatred that he felt when she was willing to do so was burnt to ashes and faded away.

It was such a whim… how the mind changes so quickly.

Arne, moaning under him, looked so pretty. His lips parted involuntarily with a certain impulse.

“…I love you."

Originally, Distria didn't want to confess his love without giving her anything, with no atmosphere like this. However, he had never felt intense emotions other than negative emotions like hatred, so he couldn't help but let out the feeling of love that filled his heart.

He poured out his emotions like that.

He thought the words coming out of his lips were sweet, and his heart tickled. Perhaps showing off its throbbing presence, his heart thumped and jumped.

Sometimes, a certain hatred and a certain anger came up though he thought those feelings were wrong. It was because otherwise, there would be no way he could feel this thrilling, itchy, and pleasant feeling. He ignored the feelings he felt.

Not wanting to leave Arne alone after his first confession, he overlooked his business from where she was.

He gazed at her and slept with her as his body heated up from excitement. Even if she lay there staring at the wall like a corpse, when he touched her body, she would groan, bend over in pleasure, and act like a living person.

He liked it.

Even though he was busy with a lot of things to do, he slept with her at the cost of sleeping less. Even though he was delighted with her lively reaction after having s*x like that, he was upset at why he had to adapt to her…

…Such a fickle mind.

If love was such a confusing thing and he couldn't even comprehend it, then it was only right that he should get rid of it. But now that he had experienced it, he just didn't want to. He made an irrational judgment for the first time.

Arne, who always lay facing the wall, was sitting on the desk.

That alone made him feel happy. While the place where he had to look at the documents was robbed away, he didn't care. He was rather delighted because if she were having s*x with him, she wouldn't look like a corpse.

Nor did he stop the loud banging of her fingers on the window. Thinking that it was the sound coming from Arne's fingertips, it was rather nice to hear.

Creak.

He heard the sound of a window opening. As Arne held her hand out, his heart sank to the floor. He hurriedly grabbed her by the waist and threw her onto the bed before shutting the window with a bang, then slapped her cheek.

The warm feeling faded in an instant.

The papers he was holding fell to the floor. He couldn't even afford to care about it.

"Tell me. Do you want to die?”

As he pushed and asked her, he hurriedly lowered his head to kiss her and bit her lips. Blood rose from Arne's lips. She was still stubborn since he didn't scream because she felt no pain. However, he grew sick of it.

Unbearable anger welled up.

“Say whatever you like, die whatever it is.”

He slapped her cheek once more and grabbed her hair, and met her gaze. Her gaze still contained nothing. When he loosened his grip, he slapped her cheek once more, causing her head to bend without mercy.

Her cheeks swelled up, but she didn't scream.

Did he have to have s*x with her to get some reaction from her? He sneered at himself and took off his shirt. This was not what he wanted.

"Ha… I want to kill you.”

The next moment, he hugged Arne, biting her lips at the words he spat out without even realizing it… no, he didn’t want her dead. Distria gently stroked Arne's hair lest she chose death again.

He met her gaze with soft eyes.

“Arne.”

Whispering her name in a sweet voice, he grabbed her chin and kissed her lips. Even the blood that seeped out of her lips was sweet, he felt everything coming out of Arne's body was sweet. The bitter blood and the salty tears were all sweet.

“Don’t think about dying.”

He didn’t want Arne to die now… He needed her.

“When the time comes, I will kill you myself.”

He whispered his sincere feelings.

He loved her. So, when he could let her go, he would give her the death she wanted. Nonetheless, he didn't want her to die now… he needed her. He couldn't imagine life without her.

Distria gently touched Arne's skin as he kissed her pretty lips, which let out a quick breath. He loved her. Whispering his love all night long, he liked Arne's reaction to his gestures. Even though she didn’t usually react, he was happy that she responded to him at this time of the night.

It was a crazy thing, a crazy feeling, a crazy idea… He knew it, too.

It was a sweet night.

Distria thought.

* * *

He left for a while to hand over meeting materials. Since Arne was sleeping and the chains hurt her wrists, he decided to take them off for a while, but he did not know that she would disappear in such a short time.

Distria knocked on the desk in nervousness.

As soon as he was certain that she was gone, he dispatched the knight. Would she die in that short time? He was worried. The quiet palace suddenly became noisy. He let out a low sigh as he just couldn't get his hands on his work.

She became so important to him. He mocked himself.

He finally got up.

Standing in front of the open door was Arne with living eyes, not dead eyes. At first, it was anger. The anger in her eyes, which were full of life, faded.

Distria gazed at her like he was possessed by something.

What he wanted was Arne with eyes like that. He wanted living eyes, not dead ones. He loved her regardless. However, the Arne that he especially loved was the living Arne… Arne when she was in love with Rewan. He didn't like her dead eyes that were looking at him.

…Violence caused by it. Anger rose from it.

The unknown anger and hatred stemmed from jealousy of Rewan. Why was she looking at him with dead eyes while she looked at that bastard with such unfamiliar eyes…?

“If I had known you would come back here, I wouldn’t have dispatched the knights.”

As he grabbed her chin, Arne's eyes flickered unsightly though even that was beautiful.

“My dear Arne, where have you been? I couldn’t take my eyes off you even for a moment.”

“I…”

“…I can hear your voice now.”

Arne's lips parted. Words that weren't moans made him happy.

“I hate you.”

She raised the dagger high.

He could easily stop her from swinging the dagger with her clumsy trembling hands and big movements. He could have dodged her sword, but he didn't. Distria didn’t know what kind of resolve she had when she wielded the dagger, although he didn't want to give her a sense of loss easily.

There was nothing wrong with this kind of pain. More than the pain, it hurt his heart that she hated him.

"Ha… It’s the first time you said that, you hate me?”

Distria pulled out the dagger lodged in his thigh. Where else did she get this from? He slowly took a look at the dagger.

“This dagger is from Acacia. Did you meet him?”

"No! It's mine, I have never met him.”

He didn't like the way Arne struggled while holding his wrist and tried to take the dagger away.

Offended, he slapped her cheek, which was already swollen.

As Arne hit the wounded thigh with her fist, he couldn't feel any pain in his body. He just hated the curse words coming out of her bright red lips. Dripping with tears, trembling from fear… Distria didn't like the way she looked at him with those hateful eyes.

…What made her like that? Who did she meet? What did she see?

What kind of hope? What kind of wind?

What made her act like this?

Arne, who was struggling, was taken by force. Her body, which had been tamed to fit his body, poured out its love juices. He didn't like the way her eyes glowed, even with that little hope. If her living eyes were not directed at him, he would rather it be dead.

Why, even though he forcibly took her, coveted her and humiliated her like this, she still pursued hope. Distria didn't like the way she pursued possibilities. If she gave up and whispered love to him with dead eyes, a better future would unfold.

Arne. I want you to look at me in despair.

Distria thought so.

“I sent Acacia to the periphery. You will never see him again.”

He spat out something he didn’t want to say lest Arne get shocked. If she wouldn’t whisper love to him, he'd rather no one have it. Arne's expression hardened as if shocked by each letter.

It was obvious jealousy.

The knights who burst into the room thrust their spears into her neck, yet she didn't even feel fear of death.

Her lips parted.

“…Do you love me?”

She stared at him with a shocked, confused expression. He liked the way her eyes focused on him, not paying attention to the turmoil around her. Distria laughed with delight as he once again confessed his love to her slowly.

“Arne, I told you I love you."

“…Why?"

The look in her eyes, as if she couldn't believe it, was cute. He was glad to have a living response to him in this way, even though this was a reaction that would disappear when all this time was over.

“Even though I wanted to kill you, I felt like going crazy thinking you weren’t here… I want to have you by my side, but what is it if not love?”

He whispered his love to her.

Seemingly shocked, as Arne closed her eyes and covered her ears, Distria gently took her hand and kissed her lips before whispering in her ear.

"I love you, Arne.”

Arne, who had always been upright, even in the fear of death, was shaken. She staggered as though she had heard something she shouldn’t, as she wavered as if she would not accept his confession.

Her shocked eyes widened, and her lips parted.

Her blinking eyes and trembling fingers denied his confession. Distria didn't like the look. What kind of expression would she have when she heard someone else’s sincerity? Would she have been so shocked and surprised, and denied it…?

He didn't like Arne's reaction.

If he couldn’t have her mind, shouldn't he have her body?

…Just like when he couldn't live a happy life, lost everything, and had to become the Emperor. Distria was in the midst of such love. Shaking everything else and destroying endlessly so that the end of the love was unknown.

He had that kind of love.

__