Ten Zero

"I guess I can just wait here for a bit," I think, as I do my best to conserve my grapeish soda. "Maybe I'll get lucky and catch a Tenno or a Quill coming in through the front door." I take another sip, and as I watch people pass, I find my gaze idly following one of the few soldiers within Cetus. "I wonder what their day to day is? Is the Unum just too busy to deal with petty squabbles? Or is she just a big picture gal. ...also, I should probably get a better gun. The Kraken kind of actually sucks. Which, I did already know. It's no Stug, but... if there was literally more than one guy, and he was facing me instead of fully unaware, I'd probably be fucked." I can't help but flinch as a loud bang of wood causes the image of me firing the gun, over and over, refusing to stop pulling the trigger as I efficiently removed a living person from-

"STOP," I shout in my mind, as I simultaneously take a deep breath and hold it. I know what's happening, I understand logically, but even on a good day I can't help but get sucked into my own mind. "I killed a guy. Just... I did. I can ruminate on this, if I need to, but I don't need to spiral." I'm unsure if this could be classified as PTSD, but regardless of title I find myself frustrated with it. "Post mortem. Would I feel better if I had left him alive? ...yes," I think, cringing at the realization. "I didn't want to kill him, sure. Was it feasible to leave him alive? Unclear." The entire situation as Ko-lee and I left Sharip is scattered, fragmented. My mind is likely hiding the specifics to protect itself. But even still, I believe it's unclear now because it was unclear then. "If it was unclear then, then would it have been worth the risk of mine and Ko-lee's life? No." I'm emphatically confident that attempting a sneaking maneuver in our state would have likely ended disastrously.

"I would not have made a different decision with the information I had, because the one I made is the one I made. Do I regret taking a life? Yea, in the same way that I regret that bad things happen to good people, that the universe isn't a utopia, that I don't have the strength or ability to fix any and all problems I come across. I didn't want to, but I did. Do I regret the thoughts and actions that lead me to it? No, never. I truly believed and still do believe that what I did was in protection of mine and Ko-lee's life. Was it excessive?" I take a moment, letting the memory play out in my mind again. It was... every shot in the magazine, but, not out of maliciousness, or hatred, or in attempt to cause excess suffering. I was just... terrified that I wouldn't succeed, that it wouldn't be enough. I take a deep breath, and I consciously relax every muscle I can, slowly flopping my body onto the stairs, doing my best not to spill the last few sips of my drink.

I'm under no allusions that this will have cured me, but I can continue to reinforce my mind, reconfirm my decisions, and hopefully, come to terms with it. I did what I did. It is what it is. I can wax philosophical all day, claiming moral superiority AND degeneracy of my actions, but I'm confident that will just lead to more of a spiral. The sooner I can come to terms with it, the better, because in all likelihood, it will need to happen again at some point. "Ain't that just the shit? Like, I have New War to 'look forward' to, with as heavy air quotes as possible. I mean, shit, we're pre War Within. We might even be pre everything! There's literally so much stuff that's gonna happen that I'm absolutely not excited for," I think, as I slowly rise from my seated position, finishing my drink. "I don't want to be stuck on Earth, especially not Cetus, during Plague Star. I doubt I can even avoid New War, although maaaaaybe I'll be able to do something to stop it, or at least reduce it to some degree. Stalker is still helping Jade, but bro is full on crazy right now, so I don't know if I can do shit to help the baby."

I toss my cup, as I continue walking, my mind doing it's best to collate information from the many hours of gameplay and wiki diving. "Albrecht is still farting around- actually, he might not even be in Hollovania yet. I know he had that stint in Duvuri. I have no idea when any of that stuff happened. No Kalymos Protocol, hell, no Deimos at all, I think. I don't remember the lore for why the Mars moon was missing in the first place, but I'm pretty sure it just pops up out of nowhere because they need help dealing with the Heart. Parvos is still trapped in his voidtime bubble. The moon is also still in the Void, which, also where the Lotus is? I think? Ballas is still wherever, Hunhow is still being grumpy in... shit, where is he? All I can remember is the Grineer Sealab tileset. Is he on Saturn? Uranus? Jupiter?" I can feel frustration bubbling in my gut; no matter how many hours I may have put into the game and it's world, I have a hard time remembering things on a good day. The flash of anger is... annoying, but not all that surprising since my HRT meds have no doubt long since run their course through my body.

"Whatever, it's just one more thing," I think, shaking my head. "So, let's see... Teshin is still presumably trapped slash being controlled by the Grineer Queens. Oh shit! Rell is still holding back Wally!" My heart beats a bit harder for a second as my body dumps a bit of adrenaline into my system. "Can... can we save him? I mean... he is definitely for sure still merged with his frame, but like... is he merged with Wally? Fuck, okay, bump that one up on the priority list," I think, as I mentally reshuffle the bits and pieces of plans I had been working on. "No Zaramin, obvi, which means no Drifter, and no Duviri. Jordas is still floating around, I would assume. Nora Night is... doing whatever she was doing pre-Nightwave, I guess. Maybe scrounging up a ship to fly around in. No Nightwave means no Arlo, no Glassmaker, no Saturn Six... although the Wolf still exists." Just the thought makes me shudder. I have absolutely no intention to tangle with the guy; even though I had pretty much missed all of that Nightwave, I had still fought him a number of times during Kahl's questline.

"Even bigger question, I guess, is what about all the shit DE abandoned and removed? Like, do the Tenno control the Solar Rails? I remember that was a PvP thing, sort of kind of. Like with guilds, or whatever. Does Kubrow DNA still degrade? What about every change with frames and their abilities?" By no means am I perfect repository for everything that is or was with Warframe. Even when I had the collective intelligence of the internet at my fingertips I still found myself a bit lost and confused. But now that I exist in the world, the answers to some of those casual questions feel so much more pertinent than they ever did before. I just don't know what information will continue to be useless, and what will end up saving my life. "There's just... a lot. Also! All the main story stuff! I want to fix and change things, but it's pretty much a guarantee that the second I start interfering with the 'timeline', for lack of a better term, a lot of the information I have will quickly end up becoming useless. Do I try to make small decisions here and there, but otherwise let things play out as is? Do I try to make one big move at some point, to try to steer the timeline away from some calamity? And when slash where would I do that? How could I even make a judgement call on something like that?"

Unbidden, I find myself sighing. Broadly, I want to make things better, but the information I have is tainted, to a degree. It is mostly broad strokes information; it would be like knowing that the Twin Towers got hit, but not by who. Running around New York yelling my head off would just make me look like a crazy person at first, and incredibly suspicious after. "Call me Cassandra, I guess, unless I can tell someone who can actually something about it. Like... the Lotus." But just the thought of giving up all that information feels... icky, somehow. I don't want to put everything into someone else's hands, and then end up relegated to the sidelines. The idea of being a side character in my own life just feels... wrong, somehow. "This is a universe where things happen. Mostly bad things, but still. Could I feel good about myself if I played a small role, when I finally have the ability to do something?" The moment I think the thought, I already know the answer. "No, absolutely not. Plus, it's cowardly. To refuse the responsibility that I effectively have, and to place that burden on someone else's shoulders... I'm pretty sure that would make me a bad person."

"Besides, I'm somewhat confident that even if I were to tell the Lotus about Ballas, for example, there's all the chance in the world that he'd just shmooze his way into her chambers anyways, and then he'd also have all the information I gave her. All I would be doing at that point would be tipping my hand. So... realistically, I need to keep my cards close to my chest. Unless I am absolutely confident that my information will shift things one way or another, I need to stay silent, and not tell anyone. ...except Ko-lee, I guess, 'cause I promised her," I think, as I aimlessly move through the crowded streets. At the thought of my purple haired companion, I can't help but glance about, but like most of the day, I haven't seen a hint of her. "I hope she's doing all right. But yea, she needs answers about my life and stuff, and I'm pretty sure that that info and the Warframe info are intrinsically linked. If I tried to tell one without the other, I'd very much be hiding the main crux of the issue of how I know everything and nothing at the same time. But also... it has to be later, when I have answers. I can't just give her my half formed theories on things, I'll need concrete evidence or she'll just think I'm a crazy Corpus person with amnesia. Like, for example, I thought Ordis was the mouthpiece of the Tenno?"

"And more to the point," I think, as I find myself wandering onto the beach, "is there one Ordis, or multiple Ordis's? Ordi? Is he the ship Cephalon for all Tenno ships or just the player character's? Are there other ship cephalons? Also, speaking of the player character, what about the canonical Tenno that we play? Because, if I was to be honest, most of the information I have directly corresponds to that person and that person alone. Like, I doubt every Tenno got captured by the Grineer Queens, or saved that one girl from the Myconid colony, or calmed down Excal Umbra. Assuming it's the same one from the trailers, (I think her name was Mara), then I should specifically be trying to find her." I find myself walking down the beach away from the city, vaguely towards the direction we had entered Cetus from. "But again, all of this is based on assumptions. Assuming this, assuming that, assuming assuming assuming. I have to assume about details, because the universe doesn't conform to game logic, and I have to assume on events because I'm a regular ass person with a life, so I don't have every single detail of Warframe memorized. Plus, I almost definitely have stuff mixed up, like with names or people or events or dates."

"The more I focus on specifics, the more likely-" but my train of thought is interrupted by an object sitting on a hover cart that is being pulled by a Corpus merchant. We had both been walking the same direction, although ostensibly he was headed towards his ship while I was headed towards nothing. Still, our proximity led to my eyes wandering to his cart, and the goods on it, and one in particular caught my eye. It's a round object, smaller than I thought but still roughly volleyball sized, looking vaguely reminiscent of a game cartridge.

A mod.

My breath catches in my throat for a moment. "Oh... shit. I forgot mods were diegetic. That... that could change things," I think, as I somewhat unconsciously step closer to his cart. "???," says the Corpus man, in a language I fully don't understand. He looks worn down, with his facial hair cut into geometric patterns, and while his words held no meaning to me, the tone is very clear; back off my stuff. "Oh, I am sorry," I apologize, taking a step away from his cart. We've both stopped at this point, close to but not directly on the beach, and while there are a few people here and there, none of them are particularly close to the pair of us. He just looks at me for a moment, before speaking again, this time in a language I can actually understand. "I'm sorry, I thought you were... nevermind. I was headed back to my ship but, if you're interested in parting with a few credits, I'd be willing to part with a few quality Corpus goods." For my part, I can't help but still be a bit shocked by seeing the mod, but I quickly put on my social mask. "Thanks! I was actually interested in that, right there," I say, as I point to the module. As I do though his face falls slightly.

"Ah, that's... well, the casing is cracked on this one. It's meant to be a display piece, while I sell the more functional oulesdm, but unfortunately, I'm all out of those," he says, picking it up. I hold out my hand anyways, and he hands it to me, pointing to a hairline fracture in the main body of the mod. "See? Right here. The mix has depressurized a bit, and so it won't be nearly as effective. Makes it basically worthless. That's why I use it as a display piece." I do see the fracture, but beyond that, it seems intact, and more importantly it's the first mod I've seen since I got here. "I do not care. How much?" I ask, still looking the mod over. I manage to find a small inscription on the edge of the casing, but it's clearly written in the Corpus language, so I'm unable to decipher what it says. "I'm... sorry I don't think you understood. It's broken. As in, it wouldn't work," he says, with a confused tone. I look up from the mod and lock eyes with him. "I understand, you said that it is a display item. Basically worthless. But not literally worthless, right?" I ask, and he nods. While I hadn't had an opportunity to converse with many Corpus people, the stereotype of being money focused held, at least in this instance, and I was planning on using it to it's fullest.

"So, if it is not worthless, then how much would you be willing to sell it for? I have got 100 credits," I say, and at this he just chuckles, holding out his hand. I give him the mod back, and he says, "Listen, if you really want it, I'll sell it too you, but at the very least, it would be 10 tall." I had talked to Ko-lee about what the different slang terms meant after I heard her and Nakak using them, and so I quickly did the math in my head. "10 tall... 1 tall is 5 bronze stacked together, each bronze is 100, so 500 times 10..." "Sorry, five thousand credits?" I ask, convinced that I somehow screwed up my math. And for a brief moment, I feel relief as the man shakes his head, before it's quickly dashed. "No, sorry, 10 tall. 10 thousand credits," he says, his grin pulling his geometrically cut beard in odd ways. "Oh, wait, a stack of bronze is called a stack! A single silver is called a tall. Oh my gooodddd those words basically mean the same thing that is so dumb and confusing," I think, feeling somewhat embarrassed. Still, I forge on anyways, my face no doubt burning red. "Would not 100 credits be worth more than a paperweight?" I say, and at this, he gives me a so-so hand sign. "Maybe, but you're missing the point. Even broken, a mod has value. It's the difference between a civilian and a soldier. The difference between an unmodded gun and a modded one is the difference between tickling a ghoul and killing one. It's the difference between us and the Tenno, because they can put them right in their bodies. Even a flawed mod like is power, and unless you can match that power in credits, I'll have to decline your offer."

I bite the bottom of my lip at this. I know what he's saying is true; it's basically the entire reason I want the thing in the first place. However, I don't think there's any chance in the world I'd be able to convince him to lower the price by a factor of 100. "I... I guess I will not be buying this from you," I say, feeling somewhat despondent. The Corpus man shrugs, but before turning away to continue to his ship, says, "Well, I'll be in Cetus for a few more days. If you manage to scrounge up that much flash, we can chat again." I just nod, doing my best not to show my disappointment on my face. I know that there's no chance in hell that I'll be able to scrounge that much up in just a few days; the little bit of money I already have is accounted for, and if I knew a quicker way to make money I'd already be doing it. He gives a wave, and I wave back, before I turn to make my way back into the city proper. "I can't believe I forgot that mods were a real thing in lore," I think, as I make my way through the knee high grass near the beach.

I was never the most best at modding; even with all my hours I could never make a build that would hit damage cap, or hit level cap in arbitration. Still, with my own builds I could run a netracell with all four keyglyphs without breaking a sweat. I could solo archon's and eidolon's. If I could get my hands on some... "What would I do? I'm not a frame, I'm literally squisher than an operator, and that's ignoring the magic powers they have. The best I can do is thrown them on a gun," I think, before I stop walking entirely, as a thought strikes me like lightning. "Or a companion. I... I don't know where to get a companion, but they suck in game cause it's one tiny robot against hordes of dudes. But this isn't a game anymore, so I could have... a lot of companions. Like a whole army." I start to feel giddy as the thoughts fly through me. "I could have a whole army of kitted out deathcubes roam through a ship, blasting guys! I could make hounds and moas, and maybe even kubrows and kavats? Holy crap, I could turn Warframe into an RTS! This could actually maybe be something?" Even though the idea is rough and unpolished, I can tell at a glance that there's a diamond underneath. I smile, as a turn of phrase my boyfriend would often say when we were theorycrafting builds springs to mind.

"Numbers go up."