Chapter 2.238
With the last bit of my strength, I pushed the lid of the sarcophagus back into its place. Inside, the twins were resting with both of their heads back on their shoulders.
‘You do seem awfully calm.’ I did not cry. I did not talk about the unfairness of everything. No, I did nothing in this direction, mostly because I knew Aska was watching. But truth to be told, I also didn’t feel much pain regardless.
‘Death is only a state of being.’ And there was a difference between their death and all the others. Dying wasn’t necessarily a one way street anymore.
Thus, I was strangely calm while I exited the mausoleum, only to find Hannah waiting outside. She was less than thrilled, either because she thought my plan of saving them from death was futile, or because she got behind the fact that I never tried to do so in the first place.
“We need to talk.” She stated while I closed the door shut behind me.
“There is nothing to talk about.” I commented dryly in an attempt to get her to stop.
“I have been with you for long enough to know when something is wrong. So what is it? Let me help you.” I would have liked to talk to her, but the issue was that I just couldn’t. Not if every god including Aska listened in.
“Don’t worry about me … just make sure you don’t go on Aska’s nerves. He might try to kill you otherwise.” Well, I was near a hundred percent certain he would try to take her life regardless, but that would only happen during the great finale and not beforehand. “But you might be able to help me with something else. Could you show me around the castle?”
“For a long time you actually cared if your friends die or not … I liked that Lucinda more.”
“I know … and I’m sure she will come back again. But the current times do not allow for that. We need to prepare an army to invade the elven lands. We will set out in … two days.”
“You are really going after the reincarnators after all of this?”
“Precisely because of this. I want to be over with it already … I want Aska to leave for fucks sake. And for that, I will need to put all these damn reincarnators to rest.”
“Lucinda, I hope you know what you are doing.” Hannah told me quietly.
‘And so do I.’ Well, considering Lucy was in on the plan, it was quiet necessary for her to know what we were doing.
“And so do I.” I told Hannah and gave her a slight smile which did brighten up her mood somewhat. At last, I patted her shoulder and nodded towards the nearby city. “I kind of like it here … it´s quiet, nobody is going on my nerves at all, but it does have a drawback.”
“Askatesh is here.” He was the problem, yes, but not what I was getting at.
“That as well …” I was playing poker with Aska. I knew my cards and I knew his but still, nobody knew what who was going to win. The stakes were high with me going all in while he … he wouldn’t lose much.
“Is it going to be the place where people you like die?” Hannah asked quietly. This castle was indeed the place where my fate would be decided through a multitude of factors. My life was on the line, Hannah´s and … and everyone else´s as well. The twins had already given theirs for the cause, but I was sure they wouldn’t be the last.
“It already is, isn´t it?” I looked back towards the mausoleum where the twins bodies rested along with their souls, untouched by Aska and me. They deserved better than being a mindless undead after all.
“Who is next?” I could only return a helpless smile in her direction as she asked that, knowing that it might be her turn next. After all, it was Aska´s goal to push me into a deep depression and he would use every opportunity he could get. Thankfully, Hannah didn’t probe further into the matter, probably because she knew I didn’t want to tell her the truth. I missed the days where I could tell her everything, but with Aska breathing down my neck, that was hardly a possibility. She didn’t like being left out of the blue, she didn’t like not knowing why I had so little issue with the twins deaths, and she certainly didn’t like not knowing where her place was.
And I hated not being able to tell her everything. She stuck with me for so long that she deserved to know her death was probably rather close as well. But what could I do?
Except going back to the castle while calling my three dragons towards us? Nothing. The time wasn’t right yet, the pieces weren’t in position. And until then, I had to sacrifice other pieces. Thankfully, I had already prepared a pawn sacrifice for that, so it wasn’t exactly surprising for Hannah as I asked her to bring be to a rather nice person.
“Hi Bob!” I knocked against the door three times until a sobbing beggar finally opened, taking even me off guard with the sadness in his eyes. “Bob?”
“How … the twins … they are dead!” Why did I have the feeling he was more saddened about their death than I was?
“Hannah and I … we just buried them.” I told him quietly while feigning to be still shaken from their death. “They died because … because one of the undead went out of control. But I am suspecting there is more to it.”
“Huh?” He was confused, but at least he didn’t doubt my words at all.
“The king of this castle here … he definitely had his fingers in their untimely departure. Hannah and I won´t be able to investigate as he has his eyes on us, but you can.” And we would leave in a little while anyways, but he didn’t need to know that, did he?
“I … if I get caught I´ll be dead as well.” I honestly saw no issue with that. Well, he was the only one capable of using the staff of creation, but that wasn’t exactly a necessity. Keeping Aska busy on the other hand was.
“Don’t worry. I put a special spell on you that should protect you from his undead. You are safe here.” Sometimes … I really had to wonder if others were just dumb or loved to believe in authority sprinkled with kindness. He didn’t doubt my words … like at all.
“Okay … I will investigate into his activities, but I can´t promise anything.” Honestly? That was more than enough for me. Happily, I turned my back towards him and straight up left even though he was offering me a cup of tea. I had nothing against a cup of tea but his company was not really beneficial to my mental health.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ Lucy asked out of the blue while Hannah was guiding me back into the heart of the castle.
‘Can I ask you a question is already a question, isn´t it?’
‘True … how do you do that? I mean … sending others to their death without a second thought?’ Well, the answer to that was obvious: I just didn’t know it any other way. Death was with me from my very creation, and I mean that quite literally. But that was probably not what she wanted to hear. She was asking me how she could life with the fact that she was complicit in my every action so far.
‘You agreed to the plan?’ I asked rather cold hearted while Hannah pushed me around a corner I nearly missed.
‘Yeah, but I couldn’t actually implement it no matter what. I mean … depending on Bob´s actions in the future he might die before you come back … you murdered the twins without even batting an eye. How do you do that?’ So she really didn’t know how to deal with her guilt. Well, truth to be told I didn’t know how to face guilt as well, so there was something we had in common. But that wasn’t something I wanted to admit.
‘It´s rather simple. You have to like what you are doing, otherwise you will go insane.’ I thus told her. Sadly one of us had to live with the actions of the other, but luckily I was in control of this body for now.
‘You like … sacrificing the twins?’ I didn’t like that they died, that was for sure. But if I was entirely honest, there was something thrilling about their death … I had suppressed the feeling when it was imminent … but even their death did excite me somewhat … Lucy wouldn’t understand though and as such, I didn’t even try.
‘It´s always satisfying to play a good round of chess against an equal opponent?’ I thus said, hoping she would understand that I didn’t view the twins death just on an emotional level but also on a strategic one.
‘This is how you view the world?’ Yeah, I did see the world as a playground for me and there was nothing wrong with that.
‘People have a value, either through what they can do, or through how much I like them. They are like figures on my board … is that weird?’ I asked while I stopped in front of a door together with Hannah. Nodding towards her, I watched her leave while I slowly lifted up my fist.
‘That’s not how normal people view the world.’ Lucy told me while I knocked onto the door.
‘So tell me, how do you view the world?’ I was rather interested in her answer and not only because I kind of had to live together with her for the rest of my life, but also because the view of another goddess could be an eye opener.
‘It’s a place where living beings can prosper, develop themselves and work together to achieve greatness.’ Let’s just say my eyes remained shut. She basically told me exactly the same what another goddess once told me.
‘… your mother told me the same stuff once.’ Finally, Aska opened the door for me and invited me inside with a beaming smile on his face.
‘Mum and I are quite similar after all …’ Just like my dad and I. Quite the coincidence, wasn’t it?
‘She also told me she hated the world of the gods for its staleness.’ I explained while already unclothing myself slowly without exchanging any words with Aska.
‘…’
‘Back then, I kind of thought she was close to suicide but I thought of it as something impossible …’ I told her while Aska pressed me against the wall and stole a kiss from me. Neither of us were caring for the emotions of each other at this point. After all, I basically wanted to gouge his eyes out for attempting to replace me and he wanted to see me gone as well. All that was left was this undying love and lust for each other.
‘Are you making fun of me?’ Lucy asked while I bit into Aska’s nape and drew pitch black blood from him. It tasted a bit like … pancakes. In that regard, Aska was always surprising me as his blood always tasted differently.
‘No, I just wanted to say that you saw your life how I view others´ life … as something to spend.’ Aska’s grabbed my butt and carried me over to the bed, all while I had such a friendly conversation with the girl in my head.
‘That’s not true. Life is precious.’ And she was still denying it. Life and death two sides of the same coin. If one side got too valuable, the other would automatically decrease in value … at least that’s how I thought about it.
‘We might be polar opposites, but at least we agree on one thing. Life and death are intertwined and it´s not a one way street.’ I told her while fiddling with Aska’s pants aggressively.
‘So what?’ She asked, probably attempting to avert her gaze from the scene in front of her as disgust was audible in her voice. But I had to break it to her: I was going to fulfil my carnal desires and be it with the person we both hated.
‘Nothing … I just thought of it as interesting. If you excuse me now, I´m going to screw Aska once more. I´m kind of exited actually. It´s going to be the last time before I kill him.’