86 - Frail
Li Yun closed the clinic early as the cooled spring night deterred people from walking Caoben Street during the afternoon; it was the perk of being his own boss. After closing the door and flipping the front sign from open to close, he headed to the back room.
As soon as he opened the double wooden door, the scent of Sichuan-style broiled fish permeated the air with savoring notes of peppercorn, garlic, and ginger. In the kitchen, he saw Rouxi ladling the fish and broth onto a large bowl. It reminded him of the time he was a baby inside the womb. He frowned.
Rouxi turned around and set down the bowl of broth. "What's wrong?" she asked as she sat down.
"Nothing, thanks for cooking again," Li Yun took out a pair of bowls and chopsticks and set up the table.
"Rather me than you, your cutting technique is atrocious. I thought surgeons have better knife skills."
When Rouxi first came over, they had decided to take turns cooking. Li Yun rarely cooked at home, but one would never learn if one didn't try. There were instructions on the web and all he had to do was follow the instructions. On their first evening together, he thought it would be a brilliant idea to cook whole steamed fish with onion and ginger. Rouxi, however, was horrified. After watching Li Yun stab an onion rather than slicing it, she decided to never let him cook again. Not to mention the fish wasn't even scaled...
"Cutting an onion is completely different from cutting the skin and flesh. Scaling? Hah, humans don't have scales." Li Yun admittedly was not a good cook, but he never needed to cook when he was living in the apartment complex. He had his grandparents, parents, and the people in the apartments who were constantly cooking and sharing food.
Rouxi was surprisingly really good at cooking. He knew she was a foodie and chibo streamer, but that didn't always equate to being a good cook.
"Did you go out with little Ling yesterday?" Li Yun asked.
"Yep, we went to this fancy Italian restaurant," Rouxi replied. "They have really good pizza and lasagna. I wouldn't call it authentic, but the chef is married to someone with Italian heritage, so he went to Italy for a summer to learn. Lingling can't handle dairy well, so she gave them a pretty low review."
"That brat has always been picky."
After a bit of time, Wu Bin had finally allowed Wu Ling to stream again. The only caveat was that Wu Bin would start watching them. Li Yun made fun of him for being a siscon, but Wu Bin pretended not to understand the term.
"You never told me why you were streaming," Li Yun finally asked.
"Old man Song wanted to see me," Rouxi replied.
"And you couldn't just Ourchat him?"
"I don't want to talk to him."
"Oh, so you stream yourself to the world just so he could see you, but you wouldn't have to talk to him?"
"Yep, that's about it, wonderful idea, isn't it?"
It was not exactly what Li Yun had in mind, but he figured her family was a bit complicated. For the few months they had been dating, they rarely talked about their family. But Rouxi knew a lot more about him from Wu Ling.
"Is old man Song your adopted father?" Li Yun asked.
"On paper, he's technically my adopted grandfather," she replied.
"I see," Li Yun knew that her maternal family was the Chu, a family of grifters. Her mother passed away when she was young and she lived with her aunt and uncle in the States. After they landed themselves in prison, she was adopted by the Song family. There was a good chance she was related to the Song from her paternal side.
After dinner, Li Yun washed the dishes and Rouxi dried the dishes. Midway through, he received a call from Bu Tao.
"What did you do?" Bu Tao's voice questioned in a demanding tone; there wasn't any greeting, just a simple question.
"What do you mean?" Li Yun asked.
"The Yudan guy, he committed suicide earlier today. They called me because they knew I was working a case on him."
"Oh," Li Yun replied, despite already knowing the possibility when the number count went up by three. He casually patted his hands dry on the towel and sat down by the dinner table. "I guess he was mentally unstable to begin with."
"Mentally unstable! F***! He took the chopsticks and stabbed himself in the ears!"
The video feed from the prison's cafeteria was disturbing. It started with a suddenly agitated Yudan screaming in pain. Before the guards could check up on him, Yudan had already grabbed his chopsticks and stabbed himself in the ears. The prison ward sounded the alarm and rushed Yudan to the hospital. Once in the hospital, he jumped out from the window and died on the spot.
From the report, the warden stated that Yudan's eyes were bloodshot and he had been tense days before the incident. The only change in his routine was a visitor from a week before.
"Dammit Li Yun! I have watched the footage of you when you visited the prison. What did you f****** say to him?"
Li Yun thought it was fortunate the camera there didn't have audio. "I wanted him to confess."
"Don't f****** lie to me, I have known you for a long time."
"What do you want me to say?"
Bu Tao growled from behind his cellphone. "Look Little Yun, I know you're good with getting in people's heads. Good enough to scare me more than Ju De. Weren't you the one who said rotting in prison is better than death for these low-lives!?"
Li Yun wanted to say he wasn't that good. He couldn't convince everyone to confess. There were people who felt that everything they did, no matter how cruel, was justified. Yudan felt no shred of guilt, only fear from vengeance. "You think too highly of me."
Bu Tao angrily hung up.
Li Yun turned off his phone and threw it on the table. Why should he feel responsible for someone else's death? Was a boyfriend responsible for a girlfriend's suicide if he broke up with her? Was the parent responsible for driving their kid to commit suicide after berating them for an A minus on their report card? When did humans become so frail? So frail that they would go against basic survival instinct and commit suicide? Did people not have the ability to think for themselves? Did they not have free will?
Li Yun took a deep breath.
Free will did not exist. People liked to think that they were responsible for their own future and free will, but it was just an illusion. Humans were programmed for self-destruction, and it was only a matter of time. It was as simple as turning on the switch.
"Yun," Rouxi called out to him.
Li Yun turned around and looked at her.
"Did you know I intentionally drugged you so you wouldn't forget me?" she asked as she slyly pulled him up from his chair and toward her.
"The thought had come up," he responded, tightly wrapping his arms around her.
She gasped, feeling both the pressure from his arms and from the intense darkness emitting from him. Rouxi wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her up the stairs and toward the bedroom.
"Did you think I was manipulating you?" She asked.
He didn't respond as he laid her down on the bed.
"Or did you feel like it was your choice?"
He remained silent and removed his shirt over his head.
"Yun, you may know what choices people will make, but it is ultimately them that makes the decision."
He lowered his head, allowing his lips to press onto hers.