Chapter 46: A Piece of Memory (Second Part)
"Remember little Jing. We are a human first before we are a god. And, the most important thing for a human is the heart," she said to Snowy, and her gaze turned more profound.
"If your heart is firm enough, you can become anything. You can be a saint or a devil in a single thought, but you will always be you."
"If your heart is persistent enough, you can achieve anything. A supreme talent, so what? A peerless prodigy, and then? If their heart is brittle and impatient, they'll still be trampled by the ruthlessness of the river of time."
"If your heart is yearning enough, you can go anywhere. The size of the world is the same as the size of your heart. As long as the heart knows where it wants to go, nothing can stop it."
"So what matters most is the heart," She concluded. But, she didn't stop there and continue, "But, it's also something you always have to be careful of. Nothing is more dangerous than wretchedness of the heart." A deep sadness exuded from her tone.
Snowy digested the Goddess' words carefully since they rang true in her heart. Some of her previous hosts failed to ascend despite having her as ultimate assistance due to them succumbing to their desire or faltering from temptation caused them to lose their original heart.
The Dao was far too long, and the journey was hard and perilous. Most of the time, people knowingly or unknowingly gave up or strayed from the path before they had reached the end. So, how can we maintain our heart in our effort to reach the Dao?
While Snowy was in contemplation, Little Jing looked at the Goddess with sparkling eyes filled with curiosity. She tugged the Goddess sleeve beckoning her to continue her story.
"Aren't you very eager now?" The Goddess chuckled and continued, "Do you want to know how to have a firm heart?"
Little Jing nodded hurriedly. Snowy—who was currently possessing Little Jing's body— was also eager to learn from the Goddess.
The goddess caressed her hair and spoke with a gentle voice, "You're still too young. A firm heart needs a long time of accumulation and polishing. It may take you a hundred, a thousand, or even a million years to perfect it."
"Happiness, love, sadness, hate, jealousy, and much more human emotion; all of them will serve as a grinding stone to strengthen your will and make your heart more firm. As the saying goes, "Walking ten thousand miles of the world is better than reading ten thousand scrolls." You need to experience them all by yourself."
"And you must learn when it was fine to advance and when it was better to retreat; when you should show your stubbornness and when you need to let it go."
"Don't be afraid to make a mistake. In opposite, you should worry if you hadn't made enough mistakes that you can't learn anything from them."
"In your journey, you'll stumble, tripped up, and hurt. Whenever you felt like giving up, remember that every time you are standing back and start walking again after suffering a set back this experience will be the building blocks of your indomitable heart."
Bah-boom. Bah-boom.
Snowy's heart was pounding hard inwardly when she heard the Goddess's words. 'It's similar to the requirement to complete my soul' Is it a coincidence? Snowy doubted it was the case. If Little Jing was really her, it must have planned by the Goddess. Was becoming a system necessary for her to forging her heart? Or is it because of different reasons? This was the question she urgently needs an answer for.
After finishing her explanation, the Goddess looked at Little Jing, or Snowy, with a reluctant gaze. Her presence and aura felt more vivid and real. If before she was like a projection, now she seems like the actual manifestation. Snowy baffled by the sudden change of the Goddess.
The Goddess stared directly into Little Jing's eyes as if she wasn't talking with Little Jing anymore but Snowy instead, "This is the only thing I can do to help you. Listen and remember Little Jing, or maybe I should call you Snowy now? You're not a tool, you're a living being similar to me and everybody else. Don't let what happened to you for a million years define what you are. You deserve to be happy and live the life you wanted."
"I think our time has come to the end, I hope we can meet again soon." The Goddess bade her farewell to Snowy and smiled affectionately, "Oh, and give my thanks to that little Phoenix. She is a good kid."
From the start to the finished, Snowy could only watch the Goddess said her last bit. She had many questions for her but she couldn't even move her mouth. Now the Goddess has said her farewell. Snowy didn't know how or when they could meet again.
Crack. Crack.
Suddenly, Snowy's vision broke like a shattering mirror and disappeared inside her body leaving Snowy back in the darkness.
"....up!"
"Sno...ke up!"
"Snowy, wake up!"
A voice so crisp like a ringing bell pulled Snowy's consciousness back to her body.
GASP! Snowy's eyes opened abruptly, and she took a deep breath. Cold sweat appeared on her forehead as her head felt a little dizzy after waking up.
She scanned her surroundings and found herself lying on a bed made of leaves and wood branches inside of a small hut. She could tell by a glance that the hut was prepared hurriedly as a temporary shelter.
After a moment, she noticed Feng Xue slept beside her while holding her hand. Snowy choked up a bit, seeing Feng Xue's tired condition, and hesitated to wake her up. Unbeknownst to her, Feng Xue had immediately woke up at the moment she regains consciousness.
Feng Xue lifted her head and rubbed her eyes before looking at snowy. She didn't get a good sleep for the last five days due to her anxiety. She was often dreaming that Snowy woke up and greeted her, but she was disappointed afterward. Now, she once again saw a similar scene; Feng Xue tried to discern whether this was another dream or not.
"How long since I passed out?" asked Snowy while caressing Feng Xue's cheek.
"This is the fifth day. What happened to you? Why were you suddenly fainting?"
Feeling the warmth radiated from Snowy's hand, Feng Xue knew that it wasn't a dream, and Snowy had finally regained her consciousness. She narrowed her gaze and asked her with a stern tone like a mother interrogating her child after returning late.
Snowy saw the serious expression on Feng Xue's face and let out a little chuckle. It was exactly as she was imagined Feng Xue would react.
"What're you laughing at?! You don't know how much I panicked when I see you suddenly collapse!" Feng Xue roared at Snowy with a puddle of tears on her eyes on the verge of bursting out. "You... you always act like this... not considering my feeling at all."
"I'm sorry, Xue. I won't be reckless anymore," Snowy looked down, feeling very guilty for making Feng Xue cry.
"Hmph. You and your empty promises. How many times did you say you won't be reckless anymore? I won't be surprised the next time I see you. It will be your dead body," sneered Feng Xue.
"Next time, I will consult with you before doing something dangerous, okay. Don't be mad anymore, Xue," Snowy coaxed Feng Xue with a gentle tone as she hugged her from behind.
"Hmph." Feng Xue's gaze softened when she saw Snowy's eyes filled with guilt. However, It only took a second before Feng Xue averted her eyes as she felt warmness crept up from Snowy's embrace to her face made her cheeks and ears turn pinkish.
"So, what happened to you?" said Feng Xue started the previous topic once again to hide her shyness.
Snowy retold everything to Feng Xue without omitting anything.
"You... you really lost your memory, huh? And you're some kind of goddess?"
"I think so..." said Snowy, unsure. The revelation was too abrupt for her, and she still needed time to process the information she got from the sealed memory.
"It's okay. We can slowly figure it out together." Unexpectedly, Feng Xue had a better response to her confession than Snowy thought. She was still calm despite hearing such an absurd story.
Little did she know, Feng Xue actually fine because she was already used to Feng Xue's absurdness. This little story about being a Goddess and whatnot is like adding a drop of water to the ocean.
Besides, it didn't matter for Feng Xue whether Snowy was a goddess or not. Snowy was Snowy, her naive and clueless girl who sometimes acted slyly like an old fox and performed a little miracle in her free time.