LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 22: Am I a Mother or a Wife?
(Marina’s POV)
After pouring her heart out to me, Syrilblia cried herself to sleep. The words she spoke… I knew that they were fully the truth. Which just made it all the more painful…
Marina: “…”
Holding Syrilblia, I am unable to sleep. How could I? It was all so very wrong… What I did to her, and what Syrilblia’s original family did, were all unforgivable.
Why… how did I even get the idea that Syrilblia was some strong person? I was confident that she was an old soul, perhaps even older than I am.
But that was more than wrong. Syrilblia… or whatever or old name was… she was just a child… A child, that took a step forward to becoming an adult, but her efforts were cut down by her horrible family.
And here I was, I used her for my pleasure; I convinced her to love me. I am practically no different from Martin, in this sense… Even worse is… I don’t regret my actions at all.
Carna: “…”
I didn’t realize that she was here the whole time, but Carna revealed herself to me. She had a grim look on her face, and I understand why she would wear an expression such as that one.
It was too late. If only I was patient… then I would have seen who this girl really was. That is, a broken woman. No wonder she is so good at sex… The idea of her family… taking advantage of her like that…
Such an image… makes me want to retch until I throw up violently. It also makes my blood boil. This is the bed I made, and the path I paved. I cannot divert from it anymore. If I try to do so, Syrilblia will be lost and broken beyond repair.
Carna: “You can’t ever seem to win, huh?” She said with a sigh.
Marina: “Oh, but I still consider this me winning.” I reply.
Carna: “How so? You’ve gotten your daughter, but it isn’t the same girl. And the one that replaced her was barely a woman. She is pretty broken as well.” She replied with her arms crossed.
Marina: “This isn’t my daughter, Carna. She is my wife.” I say with a stern tone.
Carna: “…”
Marina: “She is somewhat broken, but Syrilblia is an amazingly good person. A person that is worth saving, and one that I can indeed save.” I add with a smile.
Carna: “If she is your wife, will you reveal your true race to her?” She asked with a curious tone.
Marina: “I…I figure that I have more time before I need to do that.” I reply with an unsure tone.
Carna: “Do you, really? This girl just told you everything. I expected it to be years before she would reveal her trauma to you, but that just goes to show how much that Syrilblia loves and trusts you.” She replied with a scoff.
Marina: “…”
Carna: “You saw that she wasn’t scared of Serena. She won’t be afraid of you, either. Is it your wish to hurt her further? That girl has put so much trust in you, but you cannot do the same for her? I didn’t raise you like this, Marina.” She said with a scolding tone.
I… I want to tell her, but how will she react? Will she start to hate me, or will she just continue to be by my side, loving me the entire time? I don’t know for sure, and that is what terrifies me.
Carna: “Serena dived into her memories, and Syrilblia gave her permission to speak about the novel.” She informed.
Marina: “And?” I reply.
Carna: “As she said, both the original Syrilblia and Martin were executed. The main character, and the male lead, which is the prince, elope, and they went to live out their lives in the countryside.” She explained.
Marina: “…The kingdom. What happens to it?” I ask with a nervous tone.
With no heir, who will rule the kingdom of Chelva?
Carna: “Syrilblia is a survivor, Marina. So do not fault her for this… Perhaps the main reason why she reached out to you… is because you become the sole ruler of the kingdom at the end of the novel.” She answered.
Marina: “…”
Carna: “Her intent was to seduce you, not fall in love. Using her body to survive was all that she knew, but you gave her love instead. Don’t ever forget that.” She said with a serious tone.
Parting the stray hairs that covered her face, I looked at Syrilblia with great emotions in my heart. Even after dying like that… she still tried to survive. Ignoring how her family destroyed her life at every step of the way, she kept moving forward, never stopping even once.
Syrilblia is broken… but she isn’t weak in the least. She is… a woman that can be my wife. I need to trust her on everything. The forgotten empire will rise once more, and Syrilblia will be by my side to witness it.
Carna: “Right… that’s a good expression, Marina. Remember that desire to reclaim your birthright. Remember what was taken from you all those years ago.” She said with a warm tone.
Marina: “Those… I never forgot them.” I reply.
Carna: “That may be so, but you grew numb to them. Don’t you feel it? The burning passion of reclaiming this world… Syrilblia reignited it. You want to build a world where she can be happy.” She said with an excited tone.
Marina: “Ha… You’re right about that, Mom.” I reply with a laugh.
For now, we should just follow the novel somewhat. Martin must be executed, and Syrilblia needs to attend the Academy. This kingdom will make a good foothold, so I need to become the ruler of it before I can start my renewed conquest.
Carna: “Tomorrow, you must tell it all to Syrilblia.” She said with a stern tone.
Marina: “I am aware, and that is my intent. Syrilblia put her love and trust in me, and I will not allow myself to betray her in the least.” I reply with a serious tone.
Carna: “Good. It seems that, even to this day, your late family was wise to put me as your caretaker.” She said with a proud tone.
Marina: “Caretaker? If you were my true caretaker, you wouldn’t have let me marry Martin.” I reply with a scoff.
Carna: “That was needed. After all, before you were born, your mother already found out about your future wife.” She replied.
Marina: “…What?” I reply with a confused head tilt.
Carna: “I wonder how they felt, knowing that your wife would end up being a girl that you yourself gave birth to.” She said with a giggle.
Marina: “…”
It was… fate? How the… Stupid Carna… she never told me about this. Which means… she had lied about realizing my attraction to Syrilblia. In truth, she already knew years ago that I would fall for my own daughter. Ah, I hope that my wife never grows as cheeky as my mother…