Suspiciously Close Siblings (On Pause)

The date changed and the appointment time approached.

My younger brother seemed to be okay to some extent, but I still let him rest until today.

I don't know if I'm leaving it alone, but my mom is there too.

I think it's overprotective, but I think it's better than not doing it.

⋯ To be honest, I want to stay at home today.

I think tomorrow will be more important than today.

It was close to noon, so I prepared to go out.

My mom, who was watching TV, talked to me.

"Son, where are you going today?"

"I'm going to see a friend."

"Which friend?"

"A friend who is going to the army soon."

"Don't you make girlfriends?"

"⋯ Wouldn't it be better to go outside to make it?"

"You didn't make it even when you were walking outside."

"I have no intention of getting married."

"I think it's your freedom whether you want to get married or not, but try dating when you're young. Then or never again."

"Does it work for me?"

"Ugh, I gave birth intact, but I don't use it."

"It's better than using it weirdly."

"Anyway, you speak well."

As they put on their shoes while chatting nonchalantly, her brother came out of the room.

It looked like a squirrel walking in this direction.

"Brother, are you leaving already?"

"First of all, they gather one by one as time permits from lunch."

"⋯I see."

"I will be back."

"Yes."

"I'll call you before I get back."

"Huh."

"Call me if anything happens."

"⋯Be careful with your car."

She said goodbye to her mother and her brother and left the house.

It had only been a month since I was discharged.

Friends I hadn't seen in a long time were still there.

I felt uncomfortable because I felt like I was the only one who had changed.

***

I feel it every time, but cocktails are really sweet.

⋯And it goes in endlessly.

Pour it, drink it. I ate the vodka-based cocktail as soon as it was given, and honestly, I feel like I'm going to die.

It's not at the level of throwing up, but I can't come to my senses.

I couldn't get back to the subway, so I took a taxi back home.

The time was a bit too late.

Just before midnight.

Fortunately, it didn't block the door from opening.

"I'm home."

I said goodbye to the empty living room and immediately took a shower.

My head is complicated.

This is why I couldn't drink too much.

I realized while talking with her friends.

I couldn't say anything about what had happened for a month.

With the stream of water hitting his head, he seemed to be getting more drunk.

I changed my clothes, just dampening myself with a towel.

The moment I was about to drink a glass of cold water,

I could see a faint light leaking from the room next door.

⋯ I don't sleep.

I knocked and immediately opened the door.

"Winter."

"⋯ Eh."

"I'll go in."

"⋯ Huh?"

When I turned the doorknob, I found myself dozing on my stomach with only the desk stand turned on.

After looking around the room for a while, there was a problem book on the desk.

⋯ I really don't listen.

I put myself in and closed the door.

"⋯I told you to rest until the weekend."

"⋯That, it's getting better…"

"But I told you to rest just in case."

"⋯Sorry."

"⋯I'm not sorry."

I know you're anxious if you're not doing anything,

I mean, I'm worried though.

More than I saw him gasping for breath.

"Are you that anxious?"

"Yes."

"Still, I heard that the simulated high mountain looked pretty good."

"Yes."

"If you did well this time, you will do well in the exam. As long as the condition doesn't break down."

"Yes."

"⋯I don't mean to scold you. I'm worried."

"⋯."

Was it a bit of a sermon?

Because I don't want to keep my mouth shut.

I can't see you struggling any more.

⋯Is it because I was drunk?

My true heart is pouring out.

"⋯I'm tired, so I'll sleep here."

"Uh?"

"I think you will study again when I leave."

"⋯."

I thought I shouldn't think deeply, so I laid down on the bed and closed my eyes.

The mattress was so soft that I had no desire to get up.

By the time she had inhaled and exhaled her five or six breaths,

Her brother lay down next to me.

"⋯Brother."

"⋯."

"Are you going to sleep here?"

"⋯."

Ah,

Alcohol is wrong

Drink in moderation

"Oh, brother?"

"Winter…"

I don't know why, but I wanted to hug something.

Because when you sleep, you hug something.

The one next to me wasn't a blanket or pillow, it was just my brother.

I put my arms around her side and hugged her tightly, struggling for a while, but then calmed down.

I was sure that if I fell asleep like this, I would be able to sleep soundly.

I rubbed my face on the T-shirt and it smelled like fabric softener.

I wanted to stay like this for a day or two.

"Oh, suck."

"Why, winter."

"That… It's a little… Frustrating…"

"⋯Does it smell like alcohol?"

"⋯That's not the case⋯."

"Then I'll sleep like this for a little longer."

Winter's face was reddened.

No, I drank alcohol, so why are you talking like that?

Weird kid

"⋯Brother."

"Yes."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Huh."

I wanted to fall asleep, but I wouldn't let Winter go to sleep.

Thanks to that, the sleep energy that had been pushed in a bit disappeared with a pong.

"⋯Brother."

"Yes."

"⋯Are you going to make a girlfriend⋯ when you go back to college⋯?"

"No."

"⋯Why?"

"Did you forget what I said to you?"

"Marriage and dating are different."

"It seems to me."

I think the same.

I know it's a very strange set of values.

At least I am.

"⋯You mean you're not dating or getting married?"

"Uh."

"⋯Why?"

"My eyes are much higher than you think."

It's me,

Want to go on a date,

Want to hug you,

Want to kiss you,

You want to overlap your body,

I want to spend the night with you,

It's not that I don't have that kind of heart.

I just couldn't find the person I wanted to do that.

Probably for the rest of my life.

"But maybe… You don't know."

"No, there is not. Who meets my eyes forever."

"Why?"

"⋯Why do I have to tell you about my ideal type?"

Perhaps the day will never come when I can tell anyone?

Even I think it's too shady.

Reverse.

"⋯You mean you will live alone for the rest of your life?"

"I told you. I'll get the ancestral rice from you and eat it."

"⋯Then."

My brother took a deep breath once.

Twice as if I still couldn't calm down.

Three times as if deciding something.

"⋯What do you think if I told you I wasn't getting married either…?"

"⋯Mother must be sad."

"Why?"

"Neither you nor I can see our grandchildren if we don't get married."

I'm honestly sorry.

I'm sorry, I'll do better in the future.

Even if I die, I don't want to betray my mother.

⋯I think I betrayed him to some extent when he declared that he would not marry.

It's not even my parents who can't understand.

"⋯ Then what about my brother?"

"Me?"

"How is your brother?"

"⋯Can you live alone?"

"I am not a child."

"You get very lonely."

"When did I."

"Always."

"⋯."

"Anyway, both of them are unfilial children, so let's live together with mom. Since I can't show my grandchildren, I have to show a lot of aegyo."

"⋯."

"Home cooked food is delicious."

"⋯I."

Her brother took a deep breath.

And then

Cried a little

"⋯I don't know what your brother is thinking."

"Why?"

"⋯What do you want from me? I don't know."

"I just want to be friends with my brother."

"⋯Then please."

Rarely, he let out a determined voice.

With some emotion

"⋯Treat me as a younger brother."

"It will be like that for the rest of my life."

"…So, like that…"

"Even if you don't treat me as an older brother, you are my younger sister."

"⋯."

"No matter what you think, it won't change."

"⋯."

"So don't keep your distance."

"⋯."

"Don't avert your eyes."

I'm not a jerk

It's not that I can't read the atmosphere without notice,

I'm not a psychopath who can't understand people's minds.

I know,

Because it's precious

I'm trying to solve it somehow.

Because I want Winter to be my little brother.

"⋯Brother."

"Uh."

"Did you get drunk?"

"Uh."

"⋯Forget it."

Arms wrapped around the neck

And then

Teeth touched

In the same location as last time.

Maybe even a little bit of tongue.

But not sick,

Lightly.

Slightly bitten

1 sec.

2 seconds.

30 seconds.

It seemed that he had no intention of falling.

"⋯ Hey."

"⋯."

Flipping her stance, she knocked her brother down.

I climbed up in a crawling position and tried to make eye contact.

But he couldn't do that because his body trembled and he avoided her gaze.

"It leaves a mark."

"⋯."

There was no intention.

I only thought of giving one word of advice, not to do anything that would leave a trace.

By the way, our Mr. Kim Winter,

I closed my wandering eyes,

⋯ He tilted his head and held her neck out to me.

"⋯."

I don't know why.

Because you don't want to be awkward?

Otherwise,

Probably drunk

Whether it's alcohol

Anything.

She bent her elbows and approached the nape of Winter's neck.

I breathed in and smelled the scent of shampoo.

He lightly touched his skin with his lips.

It was so delicate that it would tear if bitten.

"Ha… Uh…"

As soon as the teeth touched, a moan came out.

I thought there would be blood, so I quickly collected it.

Instead,

He blocked the air through his mouth.

"⋯⋯."

Was it 10 seconds?

Was it 20 seconds?

Maybe it was 1 minute.

After sucking the skin as if drinking milk, he carefully parted his lips.

Even with the light from the stand, it was visible.

Ears than the neck.

"⋯Brother."

He looked into my eyes for the first time in his life.

Ah,

I can't stand it.

As if you lose strength in your elbows and fall,

I folded my body.

"⋯."

No way,

I can't stand the alcohol,

⋯ Buried in his chest and fell asleep.