Surviving the Game as a Barbarian

Blood Citadel (1)

Every gamer has a habit of mashing the interaction key whenever a suspicious wall or an unusual sculpture appears.

I’d been the same, too.

And that habit had helped me discover many ‘hidden pieces', that is, elements hidden inside the game, while playing [Dungeon & Stone] for nine years.

Like the fountain statue here, for example.

"Bjorn?"

"Ah, coming."

I left my uneasiness behind and followed the group inside.

I decided not to mention the statue, in the end.

A barbarian knowing something that even a wizard who’d devoted her entire life to learning didn't know?

‘It’d be better to avoid suspicion.'

Clearly, the excuse that I’d read it in a book wouldn’t work this time, and this ‘object' was an item that couldn’t be taken out of the rift with distortion magic, anyway.

"This is the inner fortress."

In the medieval age, if the outer fortress served as the first line of defence, then the inner fortress was closer to being the last stronghold.

Originally, this was the place where various military facilities such as the armoury would've been built, and where the vassals, knights, and soldiers of the lord would be stationed.

Raven looked around and sighed.

"… I'd already heard about it, but I really can't find anything here."

The inner fortress, which was about one-third the size of the outer fortress, was horribly damaged.

All the buildings had collapsed, and only ruins remained.

There weren't even any monsters here.

"Let’s quickly move on to the next destination."

Under Raven's direction, we cleared the rubble for about thirty minutes and finally found a way to the basement.

"Mr. Murad, will you take the lead?"

"Got it!"

"Ah, I need to conserve my magic, so please light a torch."

The dwarf took out a torch and slotted it onto his helmet.

Maybe because he was so short, he looked like the Molediver, from the manhwa[1].

Crumple!

We pushed the thick wooden planks away and slowly made our way down the stairs hidden underneath.

The third chapter of the Blood Citadel – the dungeon.

I gulped and tried to steel myself.

「You have entered the first floor of the dungeon. 」

Aah, I’m not good with the disgusting stuff…

"Miss Raven, what kind of monsters come out here?"

"I know there can be skull rats, banshees, deathfiends, chimeric wolves, ghoul lords and corpse golems."

"Except for the corpse golem, they’re all monsters I’ve dealt with."

"That’s how it should be. Corpse golems are monsters that only appear inside the Blood Citadel."

"Hahaha, time to pile up some achievements, I think!"

The dwarf was happy that he could increase his experience by fighting new monsters.

But not me.

Even the graphics had been so terrible, how disgusting would the reality be?

"Is there anything to be careful about, specifically?"

"You just have to be careful about the flesh explosion. The explosive power is not very strong, but the body fluids are mixed with toxic acid, so it can be fatal if you get hit at close range. Of course, I'll try to stop you before that."

"Ha ha! There is nothing to be afraid of, because we have a wizard with us!"

"It’s all possible because there are strong warriors like Mr. Murad."

Damn.

Weren’t they at each other’s throats when they were arguing over loot just now?

Step.

As soon as I went down the last stair, a dungeon with a labyrinthine structure unfolded before my eyes.

Deadmen shackled with chains rotted inside cages, and on the floor, rats with only bones left made strange noises as they wandered around.

"Bjorn, are those monsters too?"

"They’re the skull rats I mentioned earlier."

"I didn’t ask you, wizard!"

By the way, these were unrated, same as the deadmen.

In fact, they didn't even have enough fighting power to be called monsters, so we simply walked forward, trampling on whatever we could see.

And not long after, we met a banshee.

"Kuhuhuhu, huhuhuhuhu!"

The banshee was flying around haphazardly, revealing only the outline of a bizarre-looking face.

"B-, Bjorn…"

Oh, right, she was afraid of banshees.

Seeing Ainar clinging to me, Raven grinned.

Thankfully Ainar was too busy to notice. The shouting match would’ve started up again otherwise.

"Be careful not to bump into the banshee. It's not too dangerous if it’s just once or twice, but… "

"… But?"

"You’ll have a very, very horrible experience."

"V-, very, very horrible experience? What does that even mean! Talk clearly, wizard!"

"Well. Shall I leave it to your imagination?"

Raven smiled crookedly as she looked at Ainar’s pale face.

Seeing her take revenge in this way, she didn't seem to have a very good personality either.

I sighed inwardly and cut in on their conversation.

"I heard that wizards have a way to deal with banshees."

"Hmm, you said you like books, so you have broad knowledge, huh?"

Was this enough to call my knowledge broad?

Well, for a barbarian, it might be…

Still, this was probably still within the range of plausibility.

"Then I’ll stop joking around and handle the banshee first. Tayrun shell."

Immediately, an arrow of light was fired out of Raven's staff and pierced the banshee.

The magic was called ‘mageshot[2]’ in the game.

It had no casting time because it was a basic attack spell that was no different from a wizard's normal attack.

"Kyieeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

In a while, dozens of banshees began to flock together, burning with fierce hatred.

They’d sensed the ‘mark' left by their colleague when she’d died.

From the point of view of a wizard who possessed a large number of powerful wide-area attacks, it must’ve been a welcome occurrence.

"Iherno heindar."

Flame baptism.

Flames from her magic staff filled the straight passage.

And when the fire was extinguished –

There were no banshees left.

Whooosh!

This time too, the mana stones scattered on the floor floated in the air and went into her bag.

In fact, I was more envious of this than the attack spell.

That you didn't have to pick up the mana stones one by one.

Really, how long would it take to put a wizard on my team and carry them around?

Again, I realized how far I still had to go.

Reality was different from the 2D world beyond the monitor.

Especially the chill that now prickled on my skin.

「The character has entered the second floor of the dungeon.」

The dungeon I experienced firsthand for the first time felt like a mad scientist's laboratory.

A chimeric wolf with four heads and bulging, uneven muscles like a mutant.

A ghoul lord with a retinue of thirty elder ghouls.

These eighth-grade monsters not only possessed grotesque appearances, but the small props around them were full of a horror game vibe.

I could only hope I wouldn’t get turned into another prop that completed the picture[3].

"By the way, Miss Raven is great. Aren’t you scared at all?"

"Well. I do love anatomy, so this much is fine."

Fuck, then what about a barbarian’s anatomy?

Come to think of it, the reason why barbarian hearts were sold at high prices was because they were magic materials…

"Ah, we’ve arrived."

Hunting all the monsters in the dungeon and reaching the third basement floor, we found a hidden door leading to the underground space beneath the ruins of the lord's castle.

Originally, we should’ve gotten the map from the guardroom, but…

"The door is hidden behind the wall, so it’s good that I memorized the map in advance."

Thanks to Raven, who'd studied the area thoroughly, there was no way we could get lost.

Well, if I were alone, I would’ve found it as well.

As for the dungeon, the place was identical to how it’d been in the game.

‘But that's only possible because I'm a player.'

Once again, I could feel why wizards were so important.

Powerful attack magic.

Highly useful support system abilities such as ‘cure wounds'.

Even the knowledge accumulated by reading numerous books.

It wasn’t for no reason that wizards were treated better than priests in a team.

"It’d be better to leave our backpacks here. Especially for you, Mr. Yandel."

Feeling a little embarrassed, I dropped the oversized backpack that spanned from my head to my thighs in front of the door.

… If I made enough money, I'd have to buy a magic backpack first.

This wasn’t my first time feeling uncomfortable because of it.

"Ah, from now on, Mr. Yandel should also light a torch."

At Raven's instruction, I also affixed a torch on my helmet.

With this, everything was ready.

Creak, creak, creak –

As I turned the circular valve to open the iron door, a rotten stench rushed in.

"I didn’t expect this kind of a place at all."

"Oi, wizard… do we really have to go in here?"

"I’m disgusted to death, too, but it can’t be helped."

A space reminiscent of a sewage treatment plant.

There were large water pipes lined up on the cylindrical wall, and dark filth was dripping down everywhere.

And on top of that –

Broken and severed limbs and heads were piled up like mountains on the floor, and the air full of rot and decay stung our noses and caused headaches.

"Ugh, gghhhh!"

The first to vomit was the porter.

The guy who’d been simply holding the baggage next to Raven like an escort, with a really expressionless face, spewed out the contents of his stomach.

The second was Raven.

"Uggh, woagghhh!"

She might’ve been able to tolerate the sight due to her experience with dissections, but she was equally vulnerable to the smell.

Surprisingly, I managed.

Even though a scene that would’ve made me faint in the past was unfolding before my eyes, there was no effect on this barbarian body.

"I'm glad you're all right. Come on, let's go forward."

Feeling something indescribable, I slowly approached the centre.

Squelch.

Every step made a sound as if I was stepping on a sponge.

And as the light got closer to the centre, the huge shape that’d only been a dark outline became clearer.

"Hello."

Surprisingly, it spoke to us.

In a female voice that sounded like a scratched tape recording.

"Kkgh, kuhk! Meat! Save, kkghghk, save me! Me! Kkgh, kgkk, delicious, d-, daddy, kkh!"

Ah, um, ah…

To be honest, it was a bit shocking.

"Hooo…"

Fuck, you used to be so quiet in the game.

Why the hell are you doing this to me?

Bitter thoughts welled up out of nowhere, but nothing would change even if you lament.

When I looked to the side, even the trustworthy dwarf was frozen in place.

"Everyone, calm down!!"

I immediately roared, waking up my bewildered teammates.

But did this end up provoking it?

"Daddy! Daddy! Hurts! Hurts! Hurtsss! It hurtssssssssss!!"

The pile of corpses that had been crouching in the dark stood up and staggered forward, although I really couldn’t say if it actually had any feet or not.

Boom–!

The midboss of the Blood Citadel.

It was a corpse golem.

Although [Dungeon and Stone] is the epitome of a niche cult classic, it’s not without its own popular parts.

At least some of its illustrations are famous.

The lifelike illustrations that seem like old black and white photos are often used as ‘memes' on the internet.

Few people know that those illustrations are actually from a game.

I’m realizing once more.

"Fuck."

No matter how realistic a picture is, it can’t match up to reality.

"Hurts! Hurts! It hurtssssssss!"

Is this what a collection of thousands of human arms, legs, and heads looks like?

Each component moves independently, as if it has its own will.

The same goes for the hundreds of mouths.

Each one pours out what it wants to say, uncontrolled and unfiltered.

Most of them say it hurts, it’s cold, it hates, kill me, save me, etc., and there’s no overarching logic that governs the emotions that fluctuate from moment to moment.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah–!"

Well, it’s either that or a simple scream.

Everyone is frozen once again by the macabre harmony in the synthesis of all sorts of bizarre voices.

"Hikurod! Be careful!"

A wizard good at anatomy.

A third-year dwarf who must’ve encountered numerous monsters.

A human man who exudes an atmosphere that looks quite good for a porter.

They treated us two rookie barbarians as spares, but…

Surprisingly, at this moment, it’s only Ainar and I who haven’t lost their cool.

"What're you all doing!"

Ainar, who’d been watching the corpse golem, pulls the dwarf by the neck and lifts him up.

Craaash!

The pile of corpses that flies in like a shotput explodes on impacting the ground. The splattered blood and flesh sticks to Ainar and the dwarf.

Screeeech!

Fortunately, Ainar is unharmed because of her clothes, but not the dwarf.

"Ah! Eye! My eyes…!"

Fuck, it seems that the acid somehow went through the narrow slit in the helmet and hit him in the eyes.

In an instant, the dwarf is incapacitated.

And the wizard who believed only in herself…

"Ugggh, huurrrrrk!"

Is still vomiting.

… What do you guys think you’re doing?

And here I thought things have gotten easier.

No way, of course they can't.

"Ainar! Take the dwarf and retreat to protect the wizard!"

Shouting my instructions, I raise my shield and face the corpse golem.

There’s no choice.

I don't want to attract attention as much as possible, but…

Aren't the ones supposed to carry us through the mission now messing around?

"Behel-raaaaa!!"

To survive, I have no choice but to take the steering wheel myself.

Editor's Notes:

[1] 두더지 광부 (lit. mole miner). Initially we thought this might refer to the ‘mole miner' enemy type in Fallout 76, but that doesn’t make sense either from the imagery or from context. This is quite possibly referring to the Molediver (Teamfight Tactics). Does that even have a manhwa?

[2] 마력시 (lit. magic power) doesn’t seem to be a very fitting name, so this is being translated as ‘mageshot’.

[3] 화룡점정 (lit. fire dragon point), giving the finishing touch. Comes from the Chinese proverb ‘paint the dragon, dot the eyes’, about a painter who’d drawn a very lifelike portrait of a dragon, with just one thing missing. As soon as he painted the dragon’s pupil with his last stroke, it became real and flew away.

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