Surviving as a Trash Bard in a Game

There is a very common cliché in the fantasy genre.

It’s like how in action movies, helicopters always crash. Or how skyscrapers always fall down.

In a medieval fantasy world, carriages are a very dangerous means of transportation.

They can be overturned, assassinated, attacked, targeted by bandits, the coachman can be replaced, one of the party members can betray you…

There are countless possibilities.

Skyler and I looked outside cautiously and could spot a few bandits.

The place where the carriage stopped was a remote road, and there was no one to ask for help. Completely surrounded… we might die here.

Skyler’s expression, for some reason, looked very relaxed. No, it wasn’t just relaxed, it was a face that looked relieved.

“What. It’s bandits.”

“…?”

“Ah, don’t worry.”

“Even if you tell me to relax, I can’t relax at all…?”

“It’s a coachman I know well.”

“How does that matter?!”

“Just watch. I paid him enough money.”

“…Hey!”

“Ah, more importantly, the story we were talking about earlier… let’s talk about it later. Now is not the time to bring it up. Don’t worry. I intend to keep the contract for now.”

“Alright. More importantly, explain what you mean by coachman and don’t worry.”

“The coachman I use is a bit expensive. I’ll answer the rest by showing you outside.”

Following Skyler’s words, I looked outside the carriage again.

The number of bandits that were clearly there a moment ago… has decreased a bit.

Without having to observe or think, the reason for the decrease in the number of bandits was easy to figure out. Someone was quickly taking care of the bandits.

The reason for using the word ‘taking care of’ instead of ‘killing’ or ‘fighting’ was simple.

It wasn’t ‘bilateral’ enough to be called killing or fighting. It was just one-way traffic.

The old coachman who had been driving the horse for a long time without saying a word with a blank expression… was mechanically cleaning up the bandits with the same blank expression and without saying a word, just like when he was driving the carriage.

“…What is that?”

“Generally, coachmen receive a much lower income than apprentice knights. But, there are always exceptions.”

“Can you just get to the point without talking unnecessarily long and using a pretentious tone?”

“Ah, you caught me.”

“Hey.”

“Anyway, rarely, there were cases where even with the job of a coachman, they earned a higher income than apprentice knights, squires. The answer was simple. If the coachman was as strong as a knight, that was enough.”

“What?”

“Yes. Generally, no one touches the carriages of noble families except for some stupid humans. But, a freight carriage without any emblem is a bit different. It looks like a tempting fruit.”

“So? Just get to the point.”

“No, I’m explaining it now. Stop interrupting me!”

“…Fine.”

“Merchants or the nouveau riche could just ask adventurers for escort requests, but some coachmen thought, ‘Can’t I just become strong myself?’ The coachman I hired is such an oddball.”

“I understand. Anyway, it means you spent some money, right?”

“Yes. In terms of a mage, he’s strong enough to have reached the second level. He won’t be defeated by those bandits, you know?”

“Hah… tell me in advance.”

“I will in the future.”

The sounds of fighting that could be heard intermittently from outside during the conversation subsided.

And, only silence remained.

A blood-stained leather glove suddenly enters the carriage.

The coachman still didn’t say anything.

“Is it… over?”

The coachman did not answer.

He just nodded his head in response.

The coachman returned to his seat. A clinking bag was roughly placed in the carriage’s luggage compartment.

“What’s that?”

“Leather, armor, and weapons taken from the corpses. It’s the coachman’s share, so don’t touch it.”

“Okay. But… more importantly, doesn’t that person talk?”

“He can’t. He doesn’t have a tongue.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t hear the reason. But, I like people who are tight-lipped, so I hired someone like him. That’s all. The reason I used a barrier to talk was… because I’m cautious.”

“I see.”

“Anyway, let’s continue our conversation at the inn.”

“Huh?”

“We need to save money. It’s okay to book just one room, right?”

“Hey… if you hired a cheaper coachman, wouldn’t we have been able to stay in two rooms?”

“That’s true. But, if I hired a cheaper coachman, my scroll reserves would have been depleted, or our heads would be rolling on the ground.”

I couldn’t really refute Skyler’s words.

I wanted to refute, but I couldn’t.

I’ll let it go for now.

Just a kid… ugh.

***

Skyler paid for the accommodation.

To save money, I insisted on renting the second floor of the adventurer’s guild, but it was rejected. The reason was that scrolls could not be written in the adventurer’s guild.

However, in return, he said he would pay for all other accommodation costs.

At first, I refused… but honestly, I didn’t want to spend my money. In the end, I accepted Skyler’s offer and ended up enjoying a more comfortable accommodation than the adventurer’s guild for free.

And, finally, the conversation continues.

“Shall we go back to the conversation we had in the carriage?”

“Why are you avoiding the Mad King?”

“Yes.”

“…Alright. Honestly, I thought you would just gloss over it without saying anything, but this is unexpected.”

“What kind of image do you have of me? I thought I’ve been treating you quite well so far… haven’t I?”

“No, it’s just that people have impressions, you know.”

Skyler looked at the blurry mirror in the corner of the room.

After examining his own face, he asked me.

“Honestly, isn’t this face quite handsome?”

Honestly, it was handsome, but I didn’t feel like complimenting him.

“…A kid saying something like that.”

“No, hah…”

Skyler tried to refute my words, but for some reason, he didn’t open his mouth any further.

The whole process seemed very unnatural, as if it had been cut off midway. I felt something was off, but for now, there was another answer I needed to hear immediately.

“Let’s get back to the main point. Why are you trying to avoid the Mad King?”

“It’s simple. Because the Mad King will target me and you.”

“…Why?”

“Before I talk about that, I have one more question. You can lie. This is not a contract, just a pure question.”

“Alright. Fine. What’s the question?”

“Do you have any missing memories from your childhood or growing up?”

A sharp question.

Since I lack basic knowledge about this world… such a question could easily come up.

How should I answer?

Honestly, I could just say that I came from another world, but I wanted to hide my information from him as much as possible.

He was hiding something from me, and I was hiding something from him.

This question was not a contract, but a pure question, he said.

‘…It seems like Skyler is roughly expecting me to lie.’

Then, as he wishes.

I’ll lie.

“Yes. Not just my childhood, but most of my memories are gone.”

“I think you are an experimental subject. The basis is… I used [Appraisal] while you were asleep due to the curse of narcolepsy.”

“Appraisal?”

“It’s a simple scroll that allows you to know the status of a target. Using it without permission is a crime… but, if I apologize now, is it okay?”

“It’s fine. More importantly, what do you mean by experimental subject?”

“No human exists with 7 permanent curses and 5 permanent blessings in one body.”

…Familiar numbers.

‘Negative traits and positive traits. The numbers are the same.’

Perhaps the traits I chose exist in this world under the names of curses and blessings. If so, Skyler is misunderstanding me.

Well… I don’t need to clear up the misunderstanding now.

‘It’s beneficial for me for now.’

I still didn’t trust Skyler. So, I won’t answer. We don’t need to be honest with each other, right? We’re just traveling together.

“So?”

“The reason your memories are missing is simple. Mages are people who are obsessed with controlling variables, so they deleted your memories, which could be a variable.”

“What does that have to do with avoiding the Mad King?”

“There are only a few forces that can store, move, and inject this many blessings and curses.”

“…And one of those forces is the Mad King?”

I fell into thought for a moment.

Fortunately, my intelligence was still high. My mind was racing.

Therefore, I could tell that Skyler had just lied to me.

‘To be precise, it’s not a lie. Everything he told me is true. But, I clearly asked why Skyler was avoiding him. Not why I should avoid him.’

In other words, he still hasn’t answered my question.

He cleverly talked about other truths, but he hasn’t told me the reason why he is avoiding the Mad King.

‘Persistent.’

It feels like a loss to end the conversation here.

I should get something out of this too. Right?

Conversation is about reading the situation, judging, reacting quickly, and finding your own advantage.

Regardless of intelligence, my mouth moves on its own to find an advantage.

Right now, Skyler intentionally avoided the core of the question.

I clearly asked why ‘Skyler’ was avoiding the Mad King. Not why ‘we’ should avoid the Mad King.

“Now, will you answer my question?”

“…Ah, you didn’t fall for it.”

Skyler sighed deeply and began his story.