Sunshine Shower

“Well, of course, Moon Seoyoon’s hands are precious. They played the piano, after all.”Woo Yeonjae’s fingers, noticeably thicker, intertwined with Seoyoon’s. Both the cheek touching his palm and the hand covering the back of his hand felt hot.Woo Yeonjae started to rub Seoyoon’s fingers with just his fingertips. It was an old habit of his, fascinated by Seoyoon’s piano playing. Goosebumps prickled down Seoyoon’s neck, and he bit his lip.“You plan to sleep like this?”“Yeah. Come closer.”“I’d rather get you an ice pack.”As Seoyoon tried to get up with his wrist still held, Woo Yeonjae tightened his grip. Being awkwardly propped up, Seoyoon was pulled down, landing on the bed with a soft thud, his shoulder hitting the mattress.“It’s fine. It’s just clammy.”At least they weren’t so close that their legs tangled together, which was a small relief. Seoyoon swallowed nervously, unable to do anything else.“….”With the slight decrease in distance, he could faintly make out Woo Yeonjae’s expression. His eyelids slowly opened and closed as if he wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet.“Seoyoon-ah.”A soft voice called his name as Woo Yeonjae’s lips parted.“What.”Maybe he was too tense, as his short response sounded a bit curt.“I was wrong.”Woo Yeonjae admitted his fault with clear enunciation.“So don’t hate me.”Moon Seoyoon realized that he was apologizing for what had happened a week ago.“I was so worried you’d hate me that I couldn’t sleep properly…”Woo Yeonjae mumbled in a sullen voice, shifting his body. Seoyoon could feel Woo Yeonjae’s cheek flatten under their clasped hands. It seemed as if his lips briefly brushed over the mound connected to his thumb.“Come on, how many years have we known each other? Why would I hate you?”It was impossible for Moon Seoyoon to hate Woo Yeonjae.Seoyoon couldn’t bring himself to hate anyone, let alone his closest friend. That was why, despite their breakup, he came to Woo Yeonjae’s apartment when he heard he was sick. No matter how awkward it was or how he wasn’t sure how to face Woo Yeonjae, he couldn’t hate him over a simple argument.“Yeah. So don’t hate me.”“Do you think I’m a child? I wouldn’t hate you over something like that.”Woo Yeonjae chuckled. Seoyoon could feel the smooth curve of his lips through their joined hands.“I’ll let go of what happened.”Seoyoon’s hand trembled at the unexpected words, a clear sign of his agitation that even Woo Yeonjae could sense.“So don’t avoid me.”Their eyes met in the darkness, close enough to feel each other’s breath.Maybe it would be better if things went this way, Seoyoon thought vaguely as he pressed his palm against Woo Yeonjae’s cheek. It seemed fine since they were just friends.“Okay, so go to sleep.”“You don’t sleep.”“What?”“Watch me sleep.”Seoyoon could sense a smile in Woo Yeonjae’s cheek lifting. He was probably smiling as he made his joke.“Are you a kid?”“Maybe it’s because I came to see you… I want to be affectionate?”“Grown men acting like this will get criticized.”“I know. That’s why I only act cute with you.”“What are you talking about?”Seoyoon subtly withdrew his hand and pressed it against Woo Yeonjae’s eyelids. His palm tickled from the long eyelashes.“Stop talking nonsense and go to sleep.”Perhaps the sensation that started in his chest had transferred to his hand.The thought hit Seoyoon, and he suddenly came to his senses. Should he feel this way about a friend who just broke up with his girlfriend? Guilt surged up.I need to stop having useless thoughts, Seoyoon scolded himself, swallowing the familiar feeling of guilt.“I’d be really upset if I woke up in the morning and you were gone.”Woo Yeonjae’s sudden statement caught him off guard, as if he’d read Seoyoon’s mind about wanting to leave once he fell asleep.Seoyoon sighed and surrendered, deciding he couldn’t win.“I’m staying the night. Just go to sleep so I can sleep too.”“Got it.”Woo Yeonjae removed Seoyoon’s hand from his eyes and smiled. Though Seoyoon couldn’t see it, he knew his friend’s eyes would be softly curved.“Good night.”“…You too.”Moon Seoyoon naturally lay on his back, then closed his eyes as soon as the ceiling came into view. He wanted to move further away, but he found it difficult to do so without Woo Yeonjae noticing.Trying to avoid other thoughts, he counted sheep in his head. At some point, he heard slow breathing. Seoyoon cautiously opened his eyes and turned his head.“….”He saw Woo Yeonjae sleeping. It seemed the medicine was working.Seoyoon did nothing but watch his unrequited love.Until he fell asleep.* * *Woo Yeonjae slowly opened his eyes. His body felt hot, making the effort of taking a cold shower worth it. If he had taken medicine, he could have slept comfortably, but he hadn’t planned to take it and had instead taken a cold shower despite feeling sick.“Moon Seoyoon.”Sitting up, he called out in a low voice to the sleeping Seoyoon. Seoyoon, deeply asleep, didn’t stir. His long lashes occasionally trembled as if he were dreaming.His breathing was close enough to feel on his lips.“…Shouldn’t do this.”His muttered words were harsh, barely audible above his soft breaths. He reached out his hand toward Seoyoon’s cheek but stopped just short of touching him.“…”After some time, Woo Yeonjae slowly withdrew his hand.A faint sigh was lost in the sound of his breathing.* * *The hospital was always an unpleasant place. Woo Yeonjae didn’t like it either, not because he was afraid of getting injections like some of his peers—he never understood why his mother called those acquaintances his friends—but because of the uncomfortable or pitying looks from others.Sometimes, children could better read adults’ emotions.“You don’t need to be too upset. A 4% chance is quite high.”“I’m worried it might be because of me… That’s just how parents feel, isn’t it? I found out that these things are often due to acquired factors.”“Acquired cases are indeed common, but the brain is complicated. However, since he’s still young…”Through the slightly open door, Woo Yeonjae could hear the doctor and his mother talking.He sighed, not typical for a child his age. That’s why he disliked coming to the hospital.* * *“I’m sorry. I want to, but our child is a bit peculiar.”Woo Yeonjae peeked at his mother talking on the phone. He had come out of his room and into the living room, so “peeked” wasn’t the right word, but once he started hiding, it became accurate.What does “peculiar” mean? The six-year-old rolled the unfamiliar word around on his tongue.“No, he doesn’t fight with other kids. Seoyoon is gentle, so it’s okay?”His mother, sitting on the sofa with a complicated expression, stood up and moved toward the window, gently pushing back her hair. Her wrist showed signs of worry.“Hmm, how about next time you come to our house? Now that I think about it, we haven’t seen each other much since the kids were little.”Looks like we might have guests. Woo Yeonjae turned away instead of heading to the living room.His father’s study had many books. Even though he was considered smart for his age, the books weren’t ones a six-year-old could understand. However, Woo Yeonjae occasionally went into the study to look at the dictionary tucked away on a shelf.It wasn’t difficult to find a word in the thick dictionary. He just had to flip the pages in the order of the consonants and vowels—a simple task.Finally, his small hands stopped at one section. Woo Yeonjae read aloud the definition under the word “peculiar.”“Very different from the ordinary.”So that’s what “peculiar” means. Maybe the fact that I go to the hospital regularly without being sick is because I’m peculiar.With a snap, he closed the dictionary. The musty smell of old books made him feel slightly uncomfortable.* * *The word “friend” was irritating. Although there were peers at kindergarten who were grouped as friends, he didn’t really want to call them that. They were either too scared to go to the bathroom alone, cried loudly enough to disturb the whole kindergarten, or clung to him, begging him to play.So, when his mother mentioned having friends over, Woo Yeonjae simply bowed to the unfamiliar woman and retreated to the study. Staying in the living room would only result in annoying requests to play games like tag or pretend. He preferred reading alone to hanging out with annoying kids.As he leaned against the bookshelf instead of sitting on the sofa and opened a book, the door opened.“Yeonjae.”A stranger’s face entered, followed by the child who had been hiding behind the unfamiliar aunt’s legs.