014 Life or Freedom
Since it was rare for him to visit, Jiangming took the opportunity to mention the ‘yandere senior sister’ in passing. He wanted to see Song Tianxing’s attitude towards the matter.
“Su Xiangzi……so she actually went to trouble you……”
Song Tianxing felt a migraine coming on, and he smiled bitterly, “Since my injury, it seems everyone dares to disregard me now. Junior brother, don’t mind her, just stay here with me from now on. She wouldn’t dare come over and make a fuss while you’re here under my protection.”
Jiangming remained silent and did not answer.
Senior brother Song was mostly good to him, but their interests did not align. His senior brother couldn’t wait for Jiangming to fail the sect exam and become his woman. If Jiangming chose to stay by his side, there will definitely be no opportunities to cultivate.
Su Xiangzi was envious and hated Jiangming, but she shared the same goals as himself. She was the one who most wanted Jiangming to pass the sect exam apart from himself, and could also help protect him from an angry Song Tianxing afterwards.
As prey, was it better to live peacefully in the hunter’s warm cabin in the woods?
Or should one boldly go out into the cold and ask a tiger for its pelt, foolhardily acting against self-interest?
This dilemma could also be rephrased as the enduring classic question: Choose life, or choose freedom?
If Jiangming was to calm down and seriously considered, it was ninety-nine percent likely he would have chosen life. Having lived for two lifetimes, his philosophy in life had always been ‘better a bad life than a good death’. No matter how aggrieved he was outside, he could go home, chat briefly with his parents, stir-fry something up, and take a beer out from the fridge.
Tssk~
The icy vapour rising up from the can and the cool feeling going through his body, were one of the few joys he had in his previous life.
Yet today he had probably gone somewhat crazy, or at least was too blinded with rage. He thought about how he worked overtime in a steel cage until he vomited blood in his last life, and how he acted like a lapdog pug currying favours with Black Sky Sect's Operating Elder after he transmigrated here.
Jiangming’s gaze gradually drifted while a ball of fire pulsed inside his chest. It burned violently, draining the air from his lungs, making his breath short and heated.
That fire was his indignation towards the world, and his long-suppressed ambition.
He stared at Song Tianxing.
Oh senior brother, if you liked me that much, then why should I become a woman for you? If you were the one who become a woman……wouldn’t that be better?
An arrogantly bold idea surfaced itself, so daring it could bring down the wrath of heaven itself.
Thunder teared through the skies, wounding the clouds and the morning sun, and their tears fell as rain to the earth. Jiangming ignored the others leering behind him, and walked out of the medical lodge holding an oil-paper umbrella.
He stood in the fine rain contemplating for a while, then his eyes became firmer as a decision was reached. Immediately after, he hired a cloud car and went straight to Moluo City.
Su Xiangzi was also considered a heavenly prodigy, and the sect elders had high hopes for her. With her domineering personality and infamous attitude, it was naturally easy to find where she lived.
Climbing up to the palace at the highest point in Moluo City, Jiangming saw Su Xiangzi for the second time — that stupid woman tortured by love to the point of derangement and lunacy.
She was meticulously applying her makeup in front of the mirror, and even real maidens were not as conscientious as she.
Yet she was never satisfied with how she lined her lips, despite trying multiple times in a row. Her technique became less refined, and her movements more irritable, until finally the line went crooked. In a fit she struck out with her hand, smashing the valuable dressing mirror with a spiritual technique.
Su Xiangzi puffed and panted at the broken mirror for a long time, before she jerked her head back and shot a deadly glare at the quietly waiting Jiangming.
“Senior sister.”
Jiangming greeted with a textbook proper salute.
“Hehe……you’re a lot calmer than last time, no longer like a silly, timid mouse.” Su Xiangzi was half-sneering and half-annoyed.
“Due to being in a bad mood, I suppose. When someone get in a bad mood, they always wanted to destroy something. Absent anything else within reach or capability, they could only resort to destroying themselves.” Jiangming rubbed his nose to calm his nerves, smiling bitterly with his head slightly bowed.
Once he calmed down, he finally realised that he had actually been a person who didn't mentally grow up.
Cowardly, weak-minded, sensitive and impulsive.
Even back when he was working, he was just bouncing inside a cage in a line between home and work, never truly evolving into an adult. Until now, he still retained the immature, irresponsible mentality of a man-child.
The moment he encountered a difficult situation, he immediately became angry at himself and the world.
Su Xiangzi did not know if Jiangming’s words were genuine ‘self-criticism’, and she suspected he was insinuating something about her.
She was indeed in a sullen mood and simmering in fury, and she did want to wreck something……She especially wanted to scar Jiangming’s pretty little face and leave wounds deep enough to see bone!
However, Jiangming’s next words caused her to abruptly calm down, and a glimmer of both hope and regret ignited in her heart.
“I’ve reached the first level in Qi Refinement. Senior sister, may I ask what level of strength is needed to reliably pass the sect exam?”
Su Xiangzi fell into a brief trance. She shook her head, and said in a muffled voice, “According to past exams and their level of difficulty, cultivating [Like-Dragon Artes] to the eighth level of Qi Refinement should be sufficient.”
“What about [Incomplete Yin Psalm]?” As this was an important matter, Jiangming chose to reveal one of the cards in his hand.
“[Incomplete Yin Psalm]?” Su Xiangzi squinted at Jiangming for a moment, before turning her head to look at the flowers on the windowsill. “Impossible. That arte can only be cultivated by women with the souls of men.”
“Senior sister shouldn’t take anything for granted. Nothing is impossible in this world.”
Jiangming shook his head, and deliberately unleashed his qi outwards.
Sensing that familiar spiritual fluctuation, Su Xiangzi’s expression froze. A split second later, she had already moved to Jiangming’s side, clasping him by his meridians.
After a few seconds, she released her grip on Jiangming’s arm with a “Hmph”, and said disdainfully:
“What [Incomplete Yin Psalm], this might as well be called [Crippled Yin Psalm]. With qi circulation as slow as this, much less our proper Incomplete Yin sacred arte, this isn’t even comparable to those lousy third-rate artes.”
“I’m practicing it with the body of a man after all, so it’s definitely less convenient than you all.” Jiangming was embarrassed.
“If it’s like this, you’ll have to at least break through Qi Refinement and start cleansing your meridians. Tch, no, even Meridian Cleansing is insufficient by itself. You’ll also need some powerful pills, artifacts, and spells.”
“Is the gap really that big?” Jiangming was slightly taken aback.
“[Incomplete Yin Psalm] is supposed to be good at qi recovery, and so even the simplest of invocations rely on multi-casting for the greatest effect. As for you……hoho.”
“Is that so.”
Jiangming did some quick maths in his head. With three months and twenty-four days until the sect examination, intensifying his special training, cultivating at night as a woman, and learning some basic self-defence and attacks during daytime as a man.
Until the sect exams……Ugh, it seem there wasn’t enough time?
It already took five days of his time to cultivate to the first level in Qi Refinement. The subsequent levels would definitely take even longer.
The sect exam, under the gaze of so many sect elders, and there’s also the risk of wardrobe malfunction. Unless absolutely necessary, Jiangming won’t dare turn into a woman there.
“The sacred methods of our Joyous Union, naturally requires union through dual cultivation to truly bring out its wonderous effects.” Su Xiangzi coldly reminded.
Jiangming shuddered. He stiffly raised his head and smiled like the dead: “Is it too late for me to switch cultivation methods now?”
Su Xiangzi shook her head again.
Then, she was curious: “Why change cultivation methods now? You can just look for a senior sister who loves eating virgin chicks and dual cultivate with her. If you really can’t do that, there are high-class brothels1Different from whorehouses in that the services involved more than those atop a bed, like music and dancing. in the city. For junior brothers like you, free of charge.”
Jiangming’s smile looked more bitter by the second.
Logically that would be no problem, but his male form was so unfit for cultivation as if abandoned by heaven, and only his female form could sense and draw in spiritual qi!
That was to say, he could only take the role of the woman and ‘dual cultivate’ with a man.
What’s the difference between this and failing the exam?
Jiangming felt utterly deflated. Was all that hard work until today, suffering and sinning to this point, and even practicing that depraved [Three Yin Method], was that all a waste of time? Like pulling a well bucket all the way up, only to find it empty at the top.
He suddenly felt like a clown.
Would he resign himself to his fate?
To resign, to shrink back to the lodge where his senior brother stayed, living peacefully as a pet canary, waiting as the sect exam approached. Finally, accepting the fate that was long written down for him.
But he was…...he was still a man!
A man who had not even talked seriously about love, much less experienced it.
A man who lusted after the sweet yet soft bodies of women.
Even though he looked a bit feminine, he had read more than his share of heroic epics, aspiring to be the male protagonist of a story, or even the role of the villainous antagonist.
Giving up this dream, to swallow his regrets in the midst of all those flowers within reach, to become another man’s plaything, a human cauldron, an object of love……Is he willing? Could he accept this with a smile?
Jiangming’s eyes slowly fell to Su Xiangzi.
This woman seemed to foreshadow his ‘future end’, her capriciousness helping to disguise herself as a rose’s thorns, yet that rose itself had long wilted from within by unbearable heartbreak.
“Senior sister.” Jiangming’s throat was dry, “Are you happy being married to him……?”