Chapter 94: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
It had been such a great day.
After months of working odd jobs and scrimping every bronze they could get their hands on, Sakura and Ren had finally saved up enough coin for another dagger thanks to Raz giving them a silver each for their birthdays; hers for her fourteenth and his as an early sixteenth. The older angel had even agreed to let them make the three hours walk into Trilon, the closest town, on their own. He told them that they were old enough to make the trek together, but that the privilege would be rescinded at the first mention he heard of trouble.
And by trouble, he meant Sakura.
But despite his concerns, everything had gone smoothly.
The pair had woken up early, having barely slept the night before, and set out as the sun was rising. They had made it to town sooner than expected, having been able to go at a quicker pace than what they normally went at with Raz. For the first time, they had actually been able to explore the town and the different shops and sights without the man there to hurry them along. When they finally went for their dagger, they were able to get one that was on sale, leaving just enough coin to get something to eat on the way home. They continued to wander around, debating on what to get before deciding on popcorn. They could get a large bag for what little coin they had left, and it would last them longer than any other option.
They had let time get away from them and they realized they were going to have to rush back home before it got too late. Raz had sent a short list of items he needed, so they decided to split up. Ren would get the items, Sakura the popcorn, and whoever finished first would head towards the other.
Sakura took her time meandering to the stand, enjoying being able to look into all the windows in the shops she passed without an ornery, old angel grumbling at her. She let her nose guide her to the stand, ordering the largest bag and watching as they squirted the oil into the large pan and dumped the kernels, shaking and swirling them over an open flame.
Her ears twitched, hearing the laughter of boys a short distance away. She chewed on her cheek, not wanting to eavesdrop but being unable not to. Try as she might, it was hard to ignore voices when they were talking about you.
The girl still wasn’t used to it. She had only recently started maturing; her hips widening, waist narrowing, chest expanding. She had even had her first bleed a couple months prior. She and Ren had thought she was dying, the pain in her lower stomach was something she’d never experienced before and the red in her underwear solidified her doom. Of course, she had screamed for Ren first and he had rushed her to Raz. The man took one look at her and turned away with a shake of his head, telling him to take her to Okag. The boy had pulled her onto his back and ran faster than she thought possible through the woods and into the village, busting through the shop door wide-eyed and begging the woman to save the girl. To please not let her die. The ogre had laughed and laughed, taking Sakura into the back to explain what was happening and give her the things she would need to handle it. Okag rubbed her back while she cried, expressing her pity for the poor girl who was stuck in a house full of clueless men.
Sakura had explained to Ren on the way back what had happened.
“So what does it mean?” His face twisted in confusion as he looked down at her. “Why do you bleed from there?”
She stared at her feet, unable to meet his gaze. “It means I can have babies now. If there’s blood, then it means I’m not with child. It’s supposed to happen every month,” she sighed. What a hassle.
“And what if there’s no blood?”
“Then I’m with child.” The girl peeked up at the boy next to her, feeling the heat in her face rise. “But only if I’ve been with a man.”
“Oh!” Ren quickly looked forward and nodded uncomfortably, his cheeks flushed. “Okay then. As long as you’re not dying.”
All Sakura wanted was to get to this point, this part of her life where she would take on the body and allure of a woman. But now that it was here, she just wanted it to go back from whence it came. She had eagerly anticipated the attention that a fuller figure would get her from a certain someone. However, she never considered that it may attract others, all while her intended target seemed uneasy with the changes.
She listened, annoyed, as the boys commented on her breasts and butt and face, saying all the things that boys their age say about girls her age. She’d heard it before, mostly about other girls, but the talk had now started about her as well. Some of the boys in the village said things, but they were never as crude as the boys in town, the ones who had more experiences and a wider view of the world than those of them stuck higher in the mountains.
She didn’t like the things that boys would say, but she understood that girls often talked similarly. The demon had been helping Torg and Okag in the shop whenever the two angels went into the mountains for Ren’s training. Raz refused to let her go along, saying she was too unpredictable and a liability, but he didn’t want her left on her own with ample opportunity to get herself into trouble. So instead, she’d go into the village and make a little coin until Ren came for her.
Some of the older girls had taken a liking to the younger vixen and would come and gossip to her when she was there. They would tell Sakura all about the boys they had started or just ended courting. How some were of this village or the next or, on one occasion, the town. They would whisper and giggle about what they had done with the boys; the kissing, the touching, the sneaking away and all that came with it.
They would ask Sakura about Ren, about what he was to her and gush over how good looking and tall he was. But wasn’t she scared? He was a Fallen One, after all.
“He’s an idiot,” she would say shortly with a roll of her eyes and ask them about whatever boy they were interested in, and the conversation would change yet again.
And she did think he was an idiot. Sometimes. But she loved him more than anything and had from the very moment her eyes first met his. He was everything to her, her most important one, and she would do anything for him.
But it was hard to express that, even though she knew he felt the same. That he’d always felt the same, even if it had taken him longer to understand just what those feelings meant. It wasn’t something that he needed to say for her to know because his actions and the look in his eyes spoke loud enough for her to clearly hear.
However, lately she could see the uncertainty in their ocean depths, feel how his body pulled away from hers, shielding himself from her. A reluctant attempt to protect her from the fear he had of the impulses that he had begun to struggle to restrain, to keep buried deep and away from the surface.
As much as she wanted to take the burden from him, protect him from all those things he couldn’t control, it wouldn’t do either of them any favors.
She would just have to wait.
Because even though she had long accepted everything of who he was, he still hadn’t.
And she couldn’t do that for him.
Only he could.
Sakura’s face lit up as the man at the popcorn stand handed her the bag she had been waiting for. She paid and thanked him before stuffing a handful into her mouth, her mood instantly uplifting with the buttery and salty taste on her tongue.
She could hear the boys chiding and shoving each other as she turned away, ready to go find Ren. The sound of quick footsteps came up behind her as she began to leave. She shoved another handful of popcorn into her mouth, hoping her prediction was wrong.
But it wasn’t.
“Hey!” The voice came from behind before the boy made his way beside her, walking along with her. “You live around here?”
She side-eyed the boy. He looked to be some kind of elemental type; snow or frost or maybe water, with his sharp blue eyes and just barely blue-tinted, short hair. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. She ate more popcorn. “No.” She turned her gaze forward, her steps following as her good mood began its steady decline.
“Where are you from?”
“Not here.”
The boy laughed. “You’re funny. I like a girl who’s funny.”
Sakura said nothing, done with the conversation. She would just walk away, find Ren, eat popcorn, and go home. No harm done. No Raz to be upset with her unsavory behavior.
But the boy grabbed her arm, not hard, but enough to stop her.
“Hey.” He grinned, an attempt at being charismatic that only repelled the girl more. “I just wanna talk to you. Can we talk?”
She looked at his hand, considering whether or not she should plunge her new blade through its skin, past the meat and bone, and out the other side. But the sad realization that Ren had taken the dagger dawned on her. It was probably for the best. Raz would definitely get word about that, and they’d no longer be able to come to town on their own, if not ever again.
She should be good.
“No.” She tried to go but he pulled her back. She could hear his friends laughing, goading the boy on, giving him the false sense of confidence that numbers often do. She wondered if he’d be so brave without their encouragement.
“Oh, come on.” He leaned closer. “I just want to get to know you. It’ll be fun. You won’t regret it.”
He was gonna regret it if he didn’t let go.
“You will.” Her voice short, her patience getting shorter. Her ears flicked. She knew those footsteps, and she felt a rush of relief. She would let Ren come in with his big smile and easy disposition, and he would get her out of this situation quickly and painlessly.
The footsteps stopped.
What was he doing?
The realization hit her, and she became even more annoyed.
Ren thought it was funny. He was probably having a great time watching the show, waiting to see what she would do, how she would respond to the boy in front of her. He would take his time and allow her rage to build and erupt before quickly stepping in and tossing her over his shoulder and waltzing off in high spirits. Then he would tease her the entire way home and for the foreseeable future.
She was already dreading it.
That jerk.
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
She could be good.
She could walk away.
“I’ve heard about how fox girls are.” The boy changed tactics, his charm becoming aggression. “How they willingly go with the first guy who’ll have them.” He pulled her arm towards him, his face leaning closer towards hers. “So come on. I’ll have you.”
The laughter got louder, the boy’s grin more sure of himself.
And Sakura’s vision began to swirl as she plummeted further into malice.
Fuck it.
She was going to kill this boy and take out anyone who tried to stop her.
But the footsteps beating against the ground behind her instantly brought her back to her senses.
Familiar.
But not.
They were too heavy.
Too fast.
His bag dropped.
She smelled the rage.
Sakura whipped around, seeing Ren’s eyes for only a moment.
Dark.
Possessive.
Vicious.
The same way they had been when he went after Raz.
The angel moved past her, his hand seizing around the boy’s throat as he lifted him off of his feet and into the air before slamming him into the ground, his own larger body following after. Ren’s other hand became a fist that then smashed into the boy’s face.
Over.
And over.
And over.
Each strike spraying the blood.
Fragmenting the bone.
Deconstructing and creating something new.
Something unrecognizable.
His friends weren’t laughing anymore.
And Sakura was screaming.
Not because she didn’t want the boy to suffer.
She most certainly did.
But because she didn’t want Ren to experience the same.
To be taken from her.
“Ren!” She jumped onto his back, the bag of popcorn erupting around them. “Stop! Please!”
But he didn’t.
And she knew he wouldn’t.
Not when he was completely lost to the shadows that had patiently bided their time for this moment.
The girls in the village had asked if Sakura was afraid of the fallen angel.
Never.
But she did fear for him.
Raz had talked to them throughout the years about how Ren had been born from sin, his soul created from the darkness in which evil resides. How, despite his best efforts, it would always be there. So he had to be careful about what situations he put himself in. To not let himself be swept away in his anger. His hate. His urges.
Sakura understood.
Because she was the same.
Yelling wouldn’t stop him.
But there’s always a way out.
She just had to give him what he needed.
What he most desired.
Ren’s fist went from the boy’s bloodied face down to his belt, to where he had tucked away the dagger they had just bought. His fingers touched the hilt just as Sakura’s ran gently across his face.
“Ren.” Her lips against his ear, skin to skin. Quiet. Soft. Comforting. “Listen Ren. Look at me.”
His hand stopped and his face turned towards the girl. She smiled and slid from his back to kneeling in front of him, her hands moving across his neck and cheeks as she brought her face close to his, emeralds luring him back.
“Good. Look at me. Just at me. Nothing else. We’re going to go now. Let’s go home, Ren.” She slowly pushed herself to standing, guiding the boy. She took his hand in her own, grabbing his discarded bag before pulling him towards the path to go home. She didn’t look back, and she knew he wouldn’t either.
Because he loved her.
And he would follow her anywhere.
She led him until they were far enough from the town before turning around to face him. She opened her mouth, attempting to say the right things that would make everything okay, but nothing came out.
His blue eyes radiated misery as he looked at her hand that held onto his. The one covered in the blood of another. “They’re right.” His voice empty. “I am a monster.”
Sakura sighed, tightly enclosing herself around him, understanding the sentiment all too well. “You’re not the only one.”