Chapter 87: Hard to Get
The road to Golden City was long, arduous, and excruciatingly painful.
But only for three members of the group.
The fourth was having a fantastic time.
Sakura looked down at the angel whose head lay in her lap, whittling some figure or another with the ruby dagger in the light of the fire. She had used that same dagger days prior to re-mark the man as her One, her mate.
How foolish she was.
“I should have stabbed you with that when I had the chance.” Her thoughts became her words while her fingers drifted in a continuous cycle through his hair.
Ren continued concentrating on his project, paying her threat little mind. “Lesser ranking fox, what you speak of is treason. It is punishable by death.” He glanced up at the woman and smirked. “But your most gracious alpha may be willing to forgive this transgression if you concede to him.”
She yanked lightly at his curls. “It’s only treason if you survive.”
The angel laughed, brazen and full of himself, returning his focus to the scraping of the wood. “A true alpha never dies.”
This had gone on for far too long. “How long do you plan on talking like this for?”
“I think it’s just about run its course. I’m kinda getting bored of it now. It was fun while it lasted though.”
“Mmmhmm.” Sakura stared into the fire, not wanting to encourage the man any further. “Those two sure are sleeping a lot lately.”
“You’ve noticed, too?”
“How could I not? It’s all they do. It seems like if we’re not on the move, then those two are in bed together.” She paused and looked down at the man, brows raised. “Do you think…”
Ren snorted at the absurdity of the woman’s implication. “Have you seen that girl lately? Ivy looks like she’s about to self-implode anytime Zero looks at her a second too long. There’s no way she’s trying anything. And Zero...” He thought of himself in his teenage years before The Guard. Zero was bit older now than he had been, but the boy didn’t have the life experience that Ren had had. It was taking him a little longer, but it wasn’t lost on the man how the devil’s behavior was escalating. How he kept himself closer to the girl, his touches lingering against her skin. The way his gaze followed, and voice called out to her. “He’s still a bit naive to it, but he’s getting there.”
“Hmm.” She scrunched her nose, pondering. “Maybe we need a new tent?”
“I would like that very much.” He leered at her with a charming smile, overflowing with hope. “The sooner the better.”
The demon returned the smile and ran her fingers across his cheek before poking his nose. “One tent is enough.”
The angel grumbled and sliced at the wood a little too hard, digging deeper than he had intended. He glared at it, determining that it was useless now, and chucked it into the fire, replacing the blade back into his belt. “There’s something off with those two. I’ve been watching them sleep… don’t look at me like that.”
Sakura did not appear impressed with the man’s confession. “You’ve been watching them? While they sleep?”
“Yes. Observing. Analyzing. Stop looking at me like that!” He tugged her ear and got a slap to the hand. “It’s weird. They’re weird. They breathe…”
“They breathe?”
Ren squished his hand against the woman’s face, consuming it within his grasp. “Stop with your words and your looks and listen. They breathe together. They move together. Same way, same time. They make the same noises. No one, anywhere, does that, ever.”
The demon pulled the hand from her face, and it quickly claimed hers as she did so. She considered it, wiggling her fingers through his. “So they’re the same? Maybe she is half angel and half devil?”
“But she has purple eyes,” Ren pointed out. “Purples not uncommon by any means, but neither angels or devils have that color. Even I have blue eyes even though I don’t have blonde hair. And even if she were, it doesn’t explain how they’re so in sync with each other when they sleep. They don’t do that when they’re awake.”
“That’s true. I don’t know.” Sakura felt defeated. “Should we even bother going into Golden City?”
“We’re only a day out. We might as well. Even if we don’t find anything, at least let Ivy run around the beach for a while. She said she’s always had to wear that cloak.”
The fox nodded. “She has. I’m sure it’ll make her happy to play around with Zero out there.”
“Huh...” He hesitated. “Yeah… He can’t. Well, he can, but with his hood on. Gotta hide those eyes. It’s a lot easier convincing other beings that his eyes are no big deal compared to angels. It’s best they don’t know he exists.”
She puckered her lips, peeved at the man, and smacked his forehead with her free hand. “Why are we going there then? Why do you keep doing this to him? Do you want him to die?” She paused, realizing how silly that was. “You know what I mean.”
Ren groaned, “Stop. Zero and I have done just fine all these years without your hovering. They’re angels. You’re giving them too much credit. They may think they’re God’s gift but they’re fucking idiots.”
Her brow crept up. “You don’t say?”
“I am the great and all-mighty alpha of the fox den,” the angel shot back. “Show some respect! But seriously, they’re fucking idiots. As long as he keeps his head down then no one will bother him. Get in, get out. Easy.”
Sakura wasn’t so sure it would be that easy. “And what about you? You’re going to tell me that you’re not popular? That you’re not going to attract all the attention from the angels? Even without your wings flapping around, I’m sure they all know exactly who you are.”
“Oh yeah, definitely, I’m very popular there. But not in the fun way. Which reminds me.” He grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her closer, his ocean eyes lacking all cheer, a seldom heard seriousness in his voice. “You’re gonna hear a lot of things you don’t want to. A lot of things that are gonna make you real mad. You need to ignore it. No excuses. You can’t go in there looking for blood. As much as I would love to watch it, we can’t draw anymore unnecessary attention to Zero. Can you be a good, little fox girl and do that for your alpha mate?”
“I guess so,” she moped. It was by no means what she wanted to do, but if it was for the boy’s sake, then she’d oblige.
“Good.” His expression softened. “Now kiss me.”
The demon pinched his nose and twisted. “No! You don’t deserve it.”
“I’ll get you one of these days,” the angel threatened lightly, narrowing his lids, as he pulled himself free from her clutches. “You can’t run forever.”
Sakura knew he would, and that she didn’t necessarily want to resist either. But things weren’t so simple anymore. So much time had passed where instead of growing together they were forced to grow apart, and now they were trying to figure it all out again. It wasn’t that she didn’t want the same things, but that those things seemed so much more convoluted now. What was once something that could stay innocent, like a kiss, wouldn’t stay that way now. It would spiral out of control, the man needing more and more, all of which she would willingly give while taking all of him for herself.
And she wasn’t ready for that.
Because it was no longer just the two of them trying to navigate around each other. Now there was Ivy and Zero, and they both came with their own needs and complications. No longer could they be solely dedicated to each other. Now, they were having to distribute that attention elsewhere, and give of themselves to these two others who still needed them.
And there was no way to avoid or ignore the nibbling that constantly ate away at the back of the woman’s mind, driving her towards answers she wasn’t sure how to find. She just knew that she had to continue to push forward, to fulfill the promise she made years ago to that gorgeous little girl sitting beneath the thorns who had looked up at her so adoringly, as if she were everything.
Sakura would do anything for her, and she would give her everything, even if she had to go without.
And as much as she wanted to give all of that to Ren, she couldn’t just yet.
Sakura had always been all or nothing.
Until she could give Ren her all.
He would have to settle for nothing.
He would have to continue to wait.
“Sorry,” she whispered, unable to look at the man but knowing he’d understand.
His lips turned gently. “Remember when we were kids and we’d bust our asses taking on every shit job we could for every bronze we could get our hands on? How we’d save up for months for when Raz would take us to town, and we could finally buy a dagger? How excited we were? Do you think the kids who got what they wanted, when they wanted, without any effort at all were half as excited about all those little things like we were?”
“Probably not.” Those same precious weapons circling around her thighs, still so loved and cherished by her.
Ren ran his hand across her cheek and through her hair, bringing her attention back on him. “You’re my dagger, and I’ll work and wait for you for however long it takes.” His fingers twirled a lock of her hair and tugged in retaliation for earlier. “But remember, I could die tomorrow. So just keep that in mind. I wouldn’t want you to have any regrets.”
“A true alpha never dies,” she reminded him.
“And I am a true alpha.” The man closed his eyes, adjusting his head on her lap to make himself more comfortable. “Besides, I kinda like this little game you’re playing. You know I like a challenge, and there’s definitely nothing easy about you. Keep up the good work, you’re doing great.”
That didn’t seem like much of a compliment to the woman. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you like it?”
“If you say so.” Sakura looked up into the moonless sky, concealing her playful smile, before staring into the fire, the only light they had. “Did Zero ever do anything odd?”
“What? Like not die?” Ren said lazily while he thought about it. “No, not really. What you see is kind of what you get with him.”
“Ivy used to have fits.” She felt her throat tighten at the thought but swallowed it down. “She’d just start screaming like she was going through the worse pain imaginable. I never knew when it would happen. There was no warning. She could be smiling and laughing and then just drop and be completely out of control. I’d have to hold her down to keep her from ripping her hair out and tearing herself up. But she’d end up doing it to me, deep scratches down my face and neck. All over my chest and arms. And she never remembered doing it.”
The angel looked horrified, the thought of the girl doing that was unimaginable to him. “When was the last time it happened?”
“Probably over a year ago. It used to happen regularly after I first found her but about three years ago, they just kind of stopped, other than a few times.” She paused, the memory coming back to her. “That’s not right. The last time was when that pest killed Zero. I never could figure out what they were caused by, but maybe that one was from shock?”
It was a lot for Ren to suddenly have to process. Something he had never thought possible from the always sweet and joyous Ivy. “Was there anything else she’d do?”
Sakura looked back into the sky, seeming so empty and dark without the moon’s light, before meeting Ren’s gaze. “She’d dance.”