LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 8.9: Hirai’s Secret IX
“―Don’t get cocky.” Translator: MadHatter
Aivoiceias piercing and icy as ice was emitted, and my right arm and left arm, which tightened her neck, were simultaneously seizediwith immense force.
“Ugh.” Not shared on aggregator websites
WheniI lifted my tear-stained face and gazed ahead, what should have been an expression of anguish on Hirai’s visage was instead staring atime with eyes so penetratingly sharp and upturned that Iicould have sworn she was someone else.
“Hirai…” wfeudcgy
Foriaisplit second, the strength in my arms that had been locked into position loosened.
Sheididn’t overlook that and took advantage of the slightest opportunity to yank my left hand away from her neck and firmly thrust bothimy arms all the way back. Perhaps asia recoil, the scrunchie that she used to tie up her hair tumbled to the ground, and her lustrous hair wasiundone.
Theiflowiof air had shifted, and the aura that Hirai clad herself in had changed. Then something within me, too, halted its movement.
“Isn’tiit time to give him a break? Thatiguy had no bad intentions after all.” Withimy arms restrained, Hirai remarked in a masculine tone. “Don’tistay here any longer, accept your death and pass away peacefully.”
Sheiwas speaking through me as if she was trying to subdue something. Nevertheless, both of my arms regained strength and I was straining to release her arms that were restraining me.
Eveniso, Hirai kept my arms in her grasp, not releasing them.
EveniI could feel the fury, the grudge, and the grief igniting once again. Not good… I couldn’t suppress them myself.
“Hirai…”
“Don’titalk, amateur.”
Withia snap, she opened her mouth andiI fell silent.
“Yeah, that’s good, just shut up for a while.”
Iniaddition, Iiwas forced to clear my head and refrain from dwelling on tangential matters, and my expression hardened in my half-unconsciousness. Such an absurd…
She subsequently deliberately withdrew her hand from the arm that was restraining me and clutched my forehead and temple area solidly.
Theislightipain produced like a man was gripping me, and my body jerked up abruptly.
Hirai, whatiexactly were you…
“Beiatirest by releasing your rage, resentment, suffering, and sorrow. Stayingihere will only bring you more suffering. Listen, get away from his body littleiby little… and release yourself… I’ll convey your emotions properly to him and makeia memorial service for you… so don’t worry… Liberate yourself.”
Again, floodsiof tears were overflowing from my eyes and falling down.
Myiheadishook on its own. Itiwas a sign that persuasion was refused.
Nonetheless, sheicontinued to speak without a change in her expression.
“Don’tibeiselfish. Onceiyou’re dead, there’s nothing you can do about it, I know it’s tough, but that’s the rule. This is not an ideal placeifor you, either. Initime, youiwill lose your ego and be absorbed into this spiritual magnetic field. Youiwon’t be able to pass away peacefully then, even if you could.”
Isithatifine with you?
Iishook my head again at her threatening question.
“Youican still make it now. Youican still attain Buddhahood and be born anew. Do not stay here and harbor any more grudges against others.”
Theianguish you have experienced will all be erased, and the disgrace and sorrow you have suffered will be healed.
Myiheadiwas about to twitch in response to these words, but this time, rather than the black and red emotions of wrath and resentment, a sudden wave of melancholy overcame me. Tears ran down my cheeks one after another as I sobbed and felt as though my eye bags were going to be emptied.
Theifeeling of sadness, sorrow, and inevitability.
Itiwas the most intense feeling I had ever experienced.
Afterithat, Hirai released her hold on my temple and, this time, she placed her palm on my head and began to stroke it gently.
“Iisee, you had a family…”
Myihead moved vertically as I nodded.
“It’sisad and hard to separate from them…”
Aimoan escaped my mouth.
“Youican’t leave your family behind… but you know, if you curse people here and become an evil spirit, you will forget the family you left behind and won’t be able to leave this place for eternity… Wouldn’t you hate that…?”
Myihead shook again.
“If so, itiwould be better for you to attain Buddhahood and be born again into this world. You died in such a dreadful way but there is no doubt that you might return to life and be born again as a cat if you wish.”
Theniperhaps you could be reunited with your family.
“Now, whichiwould you prefer?”
Hirai removed her hand from my head and let the choice be made.
Either remain in this place and turn into an evil spirit, or liberate themself, attain Buddhahood, and be reborn.
“…”Not shared on lightnovelreader.me
Beforeilong, the raging emotions that had been brewing like a storm had receded. The grief had faded as well. The strength that had been in myibody relaxed somewhat, and the tears that had continued to overflow furiously, gradually subsided…
Myileft arm faltered as I sniffled, flimsily clutching Hirai’s arm.
Afteria short period of silence, my vision went into total darkness and my eyes were closed.
“Oh, Iiget it… Let’s do that.”
Amidstithe darkness, Iithought I heard Hirai’s voice, and like a balloon being deflated, I felt something slowly slipping out from myiback to my waist, from inside to outside. In conjunction with this, the dull sensation became vivid.
Afteria while, my body, which felt as if it had been encased in heavy lead, became sluggish and moved of its own volition.
AlthoughiI did not lose consciousness, wheniit was all over and the long, drawn-out night had dawned, I collapsed to the ground in a heap, powerless.
Beforeithe soul of the cat slipped out of my body, I closed my eyes and…
“Iiwantitoigo.”
…Iiwasisure that I could hear that in my head.
Theiwhite cat’s carcass, which had been laid to rest by Mr. Hirai, was now ready for burial.
Weireturned to the convenience store.
Theisun was about to rise, and warm rays of sunlight shone through the copse, illuminating us. At last, dawn arrived.
Itihad been a long night… even so, the dawn always emerged, and the sun undoubtedly rose.
Aroundimy eyes, which must be puffy from all the tears I had wept, tingles and itches burned.
Whileibasking under the rays of the rising sun, I glanced at Hirai standing next to me, her arms folded with her eyes still tightly slanted.
“Whatiare you looking at?”
Sheiglared at me as if biting me.
H-Hirai… Iihad been wondering this for a while but what in the world…
But, well, for the time being.
“Thankiyou very much… For saving me.”
Hiraiisnickered and laughed, then caught me by the chest and pulled my face forcefully toward her as I was unsure of what she was going to do.
“Don’tiget the wrong idea, newcomer. I wasn’t trying to save you.”
“Ugh.”32ewf
“Iicame out here because Kaname was in danger. Good grief, you are such a tricky medium that was too vulnerable. Next time, you should exercise caution.”
Afterisaying something incomprehensible and meaningful, she released my chest.
Then…
“Give me a cigarette.”
“…What?”
“You got one, right? Then, a light.”
“Huh… What…?”
“Don’t waste my time, hurry up.”
Her eyes were so piercing that I was spooked, so I opened the lid of the bike seat, took a Seven Star box and a lighter from there, then handed them to her. Afterward, she told me to light it up, and I did so in front of the convenience store like a yakuza head, lighting Hirai’s cigarette.
Lookinginext to me, I could see Hirai puffing out the smoke of her cigarette.
Hey, whatiwas with this spectacle?
“Um, Hirai…”2e3
“Ah? What?”3ew
“Didiyou bump your head somewhere…?”
Oridid something go haywire when your neck was constricted? Because this kind of Hirai was not Hirai.
“If you don’t feel well, let’s head to the hospital… I’ll take you there with me responsibly.”
When I mentioned this timidly, she chuckled with a cigarette in her mouth and regarded me with eyes that conveyed a sense of pity. What on earth was so funny?
“You haven’t noticed yet, have you?”
“Noticed it… About what?” 423ew
“You must be thinking that I am Kaname, hahaha… Wrong, you’re wrong, even though I am Hirai now, I am Hirai Ayame.”
“Huh…?”3edx
What was this person saying?
“What do you mean…”1qa
“It’s aisimple story, while Hirai Kaname and I seem to be one and the same person, we are not. Well, you and I have already crossed paths, right? As I recall, you were strangled by a woman at that time.”
“That time….?”23wd
Right, I did remember that time.
During my initial face-to-face meeting with Hirai in the middle of the night, she had the same look on her face as she carried now and spoke in this tone of voice.
Whatiwas going on… it hardly seemed like she was spouting a lie.
It truly seemed as if she had transformed into a different person. Like her body was Hirai, but only the inner part of her body was not the same.
It was as though she had a dual personality.
“Well, you probably don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, so ask Kaname later.”
After finishing her cigarette, she stretched out.
“I’migoing home.”
“What!?”32efw
“What? Is there anything else? It’s fine, Kaname will be out soon.”
The wayishe said it was like someone else would take over for her on the phone.
Apparently, I could no longer talk to this person, so I pulled her and asked her the most essential question, as she wore an expression so frightening that I could hardly believe she was the original Hirai.
“Um… Whyidid that cat come to me?”
“Doiyou want to know?”
Despite the slightly annoyed look on her face, she gave an explanation.
“Youiwere targeted by that cat for two reasons: first, because you were a medium who was too vulnerable, and second, because you aroused the cat’s resentment.”
“Noiway…”
Iimean, the former was convincing but the latter didn’t make sense to me. I stroked the cat’s resentment? I had absolutely no recollection of that.
“It was those guys, those bikers, who ran over that cat and killed it. Isn’t it usual for that side to be resented… Why me, even though I had no part in it?”
Even though I was the one who tried to bury the cat.
“The delinquents were the ones the cat despised and wanted to curse but you sowed the seeds of your own collateral damage.”
“You mean…”
“You saw that cat and you felt sorry for it.”
“Oh.”
You see? She smiled fearlessly as if to say that.
“Unnecessary compassion and half-hearted sympathy are what provoked that cat’s wrath.”
“But that’s…”
“You may have taken pity on it for all the right reasons. Honestly speaking, such creatures are not pleased to be pitied by someone who cannot even save them. Isn’t it obvious that they get pissed off when someone puts a can of cat food on their table when they can’t even eat it?”
It was a miserable way to die. The despairing sensation of suffering to the end and dying cold with their internal organs and entrails being exposed in front of another person’s eyes.
No human being could possibly grasp such sorrow and suffering.
To show half-hearted compassion would be tantamount to vindicating their resentment.
“You have a propensity for being overly compassionate. But this time, it only turned out to be for the worse. Watch out, because everyone here is prone to be troublesome after death.”
All compassion is not acceptable, she said, for the living and the dead alike.
“Well, when faced with such a situation, don’t show undue sympathy and simply hope that the next time you see them, they will live on safely and return to the earth. That’s all you need to do. Well, the next time you encounter one, be a decent man so that you can protect yourself. And… don’t send any flirtatious looks to Kaname, unless you want me to kill you.”
Withithatifinal chilling remark, she closed her eyes.