Chapter 22: Temperance
{Pensees Tranquilles - Hoyo Mix}
Aside from minor inconveniences, my stay in this small town with my newfound father and sister figures has been going smoothly. I still can't believe it's already been a month since we arrived. It's been so surreal I don't want to believe it.
The people of this town love me, call me cute nicknames, and give me tons of free stuff. I enjoy their company. A month ago, I would've told you god didn't exist; I would've said, "god isn't real." Yet, moments like these reinforce my belief in a god. What else could explain my strike of good luck?
Sure, my family is gone, but think about it. Thousands of my own kind died, but I made it unscathed and eventually got teleported by the Queen here. I've got to be grateful for what I've got and how blessed I must be in the eyes of god, who keeps saving me from my stupidity.
Regarding my power management, I've grown quite a lot once I got the hang of how to swing a sword well, sorta. I'm still quite shit when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, I must admit. Yet my newfound adoptive father figure is so patient he goes to great lengths to teach me.
I must be a graceful child with him and not give him a hard time since he's paying for everything so far. We've paid for nothing. Bartholomew bought Vera a cute teenager's leather armor with a beginner's sword, which isn't much, but considering he barely knows us yet, it's more than enough.
The food never lacks in our bellies, and there's always a roof over our heads, even if that said roof is a bit cracked and old. I've said I like to be a manipulator, but this town has been showing me something else. The power to be myself without a mask.
I'm just as good a speaker, just being myself instead of trying to manipulate other people. Perhaps my manipulative approach is not to be used on everyone, and it would actually hurt me with wholesome people like these.
I think that was in the bible, was it not? "So be wise as serpents and innocent as doves," I think that was it. I think I finally got it with the experiences from this town. I shouldn't try to be something or someone I don't want to be just because that's what I learned in Germany.
I should learn to be more myself without a mask of deception as it taints my innocence. That's if I even had some innocence left after seeing so many people die before me, yet I would like to think I still do. All those traumas were out of my control, so I shouldn't let them run over my emotions.
With that in mind, I wake up in the middle of my sleep to walk outside the small hut and look at the sky. An incredible blitz of light goes across the night sky, and I watch in awe, looking at the stars. I looked around directly into the hut, realizing Vera and Bartholomew were still asleep.
Yet, seeing them both peacefully sleeping like there were no troubles brought even more peace to my heart. Yes, I'm ready to change my ways. I don't want to be seen as fake as a deadbeat person who goes around wielding their desires over others. All of that is behind me.
[Proficiency has reached the required level.]
[The Seven Heavenly Virtues Ability tree has earned another branch]
[Temperance tree unlocked]
Uh? I gained another skill tree thanks to my realization? I read this before, but am I worthy of these titles and power-ups? I've tapped into Hope before, and the power boost is enormous. So far, it has let me quickly level up to fifteen in just a month, which drives Vera crazy.
I wonder if obtaining these heavenly virtue boosts is easier once you've unlocked one of them; maybe that's it. That half-baked theory makes the most sense now that I've become used to the power-ups and whatnots of this world. Yeah, this is not Earth anymore. This is a fantasy world that feels real.
Everything bad that happens, I can feel it, but the good things that occur all the time also do so, and even more so than the bad ones. To live in the past is to live in regret, as my father used to say, so I should learn from him too. I wish I could see them or say hi, even if just once. I want to know what was of them. Did they go to heaven?
I only hope so; I hope my mother and father are up in heaven looking after me as well as my short-lived mama from this world. Another thought floods my mind while I remember my old parent and my new ones, and then I realize what Baba had said. Only Okina was confirmed dead, but not Ariel.
Could I find my mother Ariel if I looked for her? Was there any chance of seeing them if I wanted to? Perhaps they're still alive out there looking for me. The witch Queen teleported every living witch away, including Mama Ariel. If she was still alive, perhaps she was alive somewhere.
I should probably look for her when I'm strong and old enough. It would be the least I could do to try and fulfill my heart's last hole. Forget about revenge on Edwina and that other lady. I will not let that hate and rage consume me just because they did me wrong.
If there's a god that protects me and looks after me, then that same god will surely deal with them once they die. I should leave revenge up to god, who was present in the moments of torture when I screamed for her to stop but didn't. I can at least have peace of mind with that out of the way.
No rancor left in my heart, and no hatred towards anyone. I'm not forgiving their acts or excusing their behaviors; I'm simply choosing to let it go. It's not good to harbor hatred when I know they'll have to face god someday as they should.
I wonder if these heavenly virtue skill trees have anything to do with my change of heart, and if so, then these skill trees are amazing. I've never felt such a calmness and stillness within me. It is such a pleasant feeling of peace and tranquility that I wish I could always feel.