15 – Azure Slime
There was light under the office's door, the familiar glow of a mana gem powered lamp. Aono was about to turn back, when a spoken sentence caught her ears.
"So, tell me more about this conditioning?" the voice of Ghana said. "How long'll it take, and how does it work?"
There was the chatter of a cup and Ayu's voice. "It's quite simple and subtle. Kind thoughts are given just a little more encouragement, unkind thoughts are given just a little discouragement. It's a little more complex than that, support of the Empire's spread of kindness is included and there're some precautions to keep us from becoming too self-sacrificing or easily exploited, but it's nearly undetectable. Also quite slow, two decades is a typical time to get everyone in an area fully conditioned. But the major advantage is that it's permanent, without any need for upkeep. Also, hard to detect, we can't forget that. It gets past most mental defenses, most methods of detection."
"Just how do you even accomplish this conditioning?" Ghana asked.
"Via concealed devices. I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that unless you have been fully conditioned. I hope you understand."
There was silence. Then Ghana spoke in that same weary voice Aono had heard only once from her, "I've tried, so hard, you know. So hard to help people, to help them get past their differences. And yet it hasn't been enough. I remain uncertain about this methodology of yours but... I've already seen its effect on you and everyone else from the Empire. You've certainly achieved much more than I have in ending hatred between people... I can't say right now whether you're right or wrong in doing this."
"We've been doing this for many generations, you know." Ayu's fingers drummed on the table. "The conditioning project dates back over three hundred years. Its original founders are dead. We're simply continuing their work. Even our god, AZURE was formed from the principles we all believe in. Showing kindness. Sharing kindness. Spreading kindness. Those are the principles we live by. Every one of us is a product of the program, the Empress and AZURE included. We proceed methodically. A brief wave of conquest. Induction into the Azure Way. Preparation for the next conquest wave. We're prepared to take a thousand years or more to cover the whole world if necessary. That's why we call it the Thousand-Year Plan."
"And you trust me with all this?" Ghana's voice trembled a little.
Ayu's voice was cheerful. "The first thing I did upon your discovery of the Azure Way conditioning program was consult AZURE. Did you know what he told me? That you would in the end work with us."
"...Give me time. I'll think on this," Ghana said.
Sardu's hand landed on Aono's shoulder, making the hand signs for discovery, danger, leave. In short, danger of discovery and they should leave. Aono put her hand on Sardu's, signing her agreement. It looked like Chamu got the message, too, as they all withdrew, slipping out of the community hall and disappearing into the night.
..oOo..
Only once they were safe in the prank lair Chamu had dug under her own house, did the discussion start.
"What the fuck!" Chamu's hand slapped on the table between the three of them.
Aono rested her head on her arm. "Yeah, I can't believe this. To think that I was beginning to think the Empire was just decent people doing their best. Brainwashing on this scale... how is it even possible without people noticing?"
"Most likely people have noticed but been discredited," Sardu said thoughtfully. "It wouldn't be hard to do that. This is something straight out of Oddball Hulu's rantings."
"So we need a plan of action, then," Chamu said. "But it's just us against the Empire. Hmm! Hmm!" She made that sound she made when her head was going into overdrive trying to figure out a very thorny problem.
"We need proof before exposing this to the world," Aono said.
Sardu considered. "What if we found one of those brainwashing giggies and stole it? Wait, no that wouldn't work, we would have to caper through Azure territory holding it."
"If we find it, I can copy it," Chamu said confidently. "I've got a skill for that."
"So, we quietly copy it, find an excuse to depart, then reveal its existence to the world." Aono frowned. "That will cause chaos and a lot of deaths. Would it be worth it?"
"The Empire's already causing a lot of deaths with its steady expansion," Sardu said. "Even with how hard they try to be gentle about it, that is inevitable."
"That plan's set, then," Aono said. She really wasn't looking forward to it. It would mean leaving her slime farm and all she loved here. But it had to be done.
Sardu's eyes turned hard. "Also, we have to waste the Empress. She's one of their biggest deterrents against outside invasion."
Chamu's eyes widened. "S-sardu... Wait, no, by the gods, you're right."
Aono frowned. "You talk about killing almost too easily."
Sardu sighed, "I've never enjoyed killing people, but the Empress isn't exactly free of blood on her hands."
"We'll have to talk about you apparently having killed people, but that's not important right now and besides, I trust you did it for the right reasons," Aono said.
Sardu shook her head. "No. I didn't. Princess, I wasn't a very good person before I came here and became a Guardian. It took years living here to become the person I am now."
Awkward silence descended around the table.
Aono broke it. "Sardu, I'd like to hear that story sometime. But in order to defeat the Empress, we'll have to become at least as strong as her."
"Where would we go to find challenges that tough?" Chamu asked.
Aono said, "You know, Thoy told me all about her travels. She went all over the Central Lands, but there's one area she never went. It's where the strongest people and monsters are, she said."
"The Outer Lands," Sardu said.
Chamu blinked. "Isn't that near the edges of the world? Where it borders Chaos? ...Okay, I can see why we might have to go there."
Aono nodded. "Not immediately, of course. We can grab a couple of levels in the Central Lands then travel to the Outer Lands."
"We need to figure out what to do with the evidence," Sardu said.
Chamu looked thoughtful. "Don't we have a couple of decades before they finish the conditioning? We can just stash that evidence while we prepare, make sure someone picks it up if we don't come back from the Outer Lands within five years. The problem is having a premise to travel."
"The deaths of many from that big shadeling swarm has been weighing on us for the whole year, and we finally decided to become monster hunters," Aono said. "Gods know, I've considered it at times, even if I love slime farming too much to easily abandon it."
Sardu leaned back in her chair. "Then we've got a plan."
..oOo..
The next night, Chamu tested multiple devices to try and detect the origin of the brainwashing. The winning device, a mess of wires and tubing with a pointer, led them back to the office in the community hall. This time there was no sign of light through the door.
Everything went smoothly until they got through the locked door with careful lockpicking by Sardu and a little lubricant supplied by Aono. Immediately, Sardu froze. "I temporarily disarmed the alarm, but..." She pointed to a piece of paper that had fallen on the floor from between the door's hinges. As everyone watched, the paper changed colors.
"Well," Chamu said, "We'll just proceed with the original prank plan. That way, we have an excuse to be in here. I still have the prank stuff in my storage." She pointed at a table and onto it dumped out of nowhere a life-sized candy sheep and some party decor saying CONGRATULATIONS YOU'RE SWELL. "I'll find and copy the conditioning device, you can both set up the decor."
"It's likely in one of those heavily warded file boxes over there. Warded for the privacy of our files, Ayu said." Sardu gestured a bunch of stacked wooden file boxes.
Holding the device as its pointer moved, Chamu said, "Oh by the gods you're right. It's that one right there. Second from the bottom and third to the right."
Sardu frowned. "Those wards... it'll be tough for me to get past them without setting off an alarm. Not impossible but doable. But I'd have to move them one by one, suppressing the ward on each one, to get at the box with the device."
"Or I can just copy it from a distance without all that trouble." Chamu dumped down another weird device, this one with a curved part shaped like a bowl which was attached to two perfectly symmetric boxes covered with controls.
While Chamu fiddled with her copying device's settings via levers and dials, Aono was busy stretching her arms to the ceiling, attaching the party banners with bits of sticky slime that quickly dried into hard but easily scraped off lumps.
"Aha! I've got it! Managed to copy the file box plus the device in it without copying the wards on it!" Chamu's voice definitely sounded rather proud. "Now just to disguise the box and we can get out of it after we set up the prank."
Aono arranged the sheep just right on Ayu's desk. "I'm finished with the prank part, actually."
"Great! Now let's just get this box..." Chamu grunted as she tried to lift the box which had been disguised as a cake box. "Shit, this is as heavy as EARTH's nuts. Sardu, you take it."
Sardu strained only slightly as she lifted the box. "Let's see... Yeah, this is heavy. Nothing I can't handle. Let's get out of here. The alarm'll rearm after we close the door, but it won't go off."
With that, they made a smooth exit. The one Empire soldier they ran into on their route back to Chamu's house was mollified by their tale of bringing a super-heavy prank cake to someone.
That sorted out and safe in Chamu's underground hideout, they figured out how to turn off the copied device. Then Chamu made a super-heavy prank cake to cover for the story they had told the soldier.
The next day, Ghei cursed them out for the cake they had left on his doorstep, comparing its weight to their mothers' asses put together. And Ayu thanked them for the candy-filled candy sheep and party decor but requested that next time they just break into her home instead because the office had too many important papers in it.