Slatepocalypse: Unlocked Arcanum

CJ’s eyes fluttered open. There was a bit of drool running down his chin, so he wiped it with the back of his right hand. His neck had cinch in it, so he decided to stretch a little. Once his hands smacked the roof of his car, he realized he’d been sleeping on his steering wheel. It was now dark outside. He didn’t remember falling asleep in his car. All that had happened must have been a bad dream. Patting his tuxedo pockets to find his phone, he quickly realized he didn’t have it on him. That’s when the sound of screams came from the street.

“Help! For fucks sake can anyone hear me?!” shouted someone running at full speed.

CJ craned his head around to see through the back window that faced the street outside. It was a middle aged man wearing jeans and a t-shirt sprinting around the support structure that led into the parking garage. He had brown hair and fair skin. Over the small concrete wall that separated the interior of the structure from the street outside, CJ could see lumps of brown fur lumbering down the sidewalk after the man.

There was an internal debate going on inside CJ’s head. Should he get out and try to help this guy or hunch down in his driver’s seat hoping they pass him by? Unfortunately for CJ, that’s when the man noticed him looking through the window.

“You! Let me in. Quick open the door!” hollered the man reaching his car.

CJ didn’t want to get involved but whatever was chasing him had almost reached the garage entrance. He met a snap decision and unlocked the passenger side door. The guy whipped it open, jumped into the car and slammed it shut behind him.

“Get down. Maybe it won’t see us.”

“What won’t see us? Are you being chased by dogs or something?”

“Or something. Shh, get down.”

“Did you just shush me in my own car?”

After CJ asked that question, he heard something sniffing. Short snorts of oxygen through several nostrils much closer than either man could have hoped. The guy in the passenger side seat just put his index finger up to his lips. Now that CJ got a better look at him the sides of his head were shaved, his brown hair dangled just above his eyebrows. It just screamed barista to CJ. The sniffing got closer to the car before a lump of brown fur plopped onto the trunk of CJ’s sedan. Curiosity almost got the better of him as he slowly tilted his head to look over the right shoulder of his seat. His passenger just slowly shook his head left and right. Now there were more sounds just outside of CJ’s car. Low growling noises followed by sharp barks. The sweat pouring of the man that was being chased started to sink into the fabric of the car seat. Before CJ could make a disgusted face, the sound of gunshots could be heard out in the street. Five rapid pulls of the trigger were followed by the screams of multiple people.

The thing that jumped on CJ’s trunk jumped back off and the sound of scampering feet headed away from his car. A collective sigh could be heard in the car at that moment. It was then that CJ realized the transparent grey slate with the weird writing wasn’t in his vision anymore. As soon as he thought that it popped back up again.

“What are you staring at?” asked the man seated across from him in hushed tones.

“It’s a… nothing. What did you say your name was?” countered CJ.

“Right, I’m Tommy. For a second there it looked like you weren’t going to let me in. Got worried,” he remarked.

“No problem. I was a little confused. I had just woken up to you screaming for help. Didn’t know what was going on,” explained CJ.

“Wait, you were asleep in your car? For how long? Didn’t you see the text windows?” asked Tommy.

“Text windows? Do you mean the floating slab of rock? I thought I was… I don’t know what I thought. It’s been a crazy day. You can see it too?” queried CJ.

“Bet you’re wishing you took the deal now. It’s fuckin crazy out there. I’ve never seen anything like it. Oh, you didn’t tell me your name but I’m guessing from these flyers your CJ. Stage magician, that’s a choice, I guess. Well at least you don’t have to have to rush over to try and make your show at the Borgata,” replied Tommy.

“Oh crap, what time is it?” asked CJ franticly as he tried to start his car.

“What are you doing? Cars won’t start unless they were made before nineteen seventy five. It was in the message, dude. Besides, your slate should tell you what time it is,” answered Tommy.

“Actually, I can’t read it. It’s all garbled. It makes no sense. Besides, it’s only like one sentence. Can’t imagine it’s that important,” CJ said not fully understanding how wrong he really was.

Tommy began to speak about the slate messages, but his voice was all discordant. It sounded more like wah wah wah than real words. Then Tommy’s voice switched back to a language CJ could understand.

“… that’s when I chose my class. Why are you looking at me like I have two heads?” asked Tommy.

“I didn’t understand anything you just said until class. It was like listening to an adult from the Peanuts cartoons. You know, the great pumpkin or a Charlie Brown Christmas. You’re fucking with me, right?” asked CJ with a clear hint of nervousness in his voice.

“Wah wah wah Slate. Wah wah wah class. Is any of this sinking in?” questioned Tommy.

“Nothing but slate and class. Come on man, you’re scaring me,” answered CJ.

“So, you have no idea what’s going on outside? I’ve got bad news for you, dude. It’s the mother fucking apocalypse. That’s why you don’t have to worry about making that show tonight. That’s why your car won’t start. That’s why those saber-toothed chihuahuas were chasing me down the street. Do yourself a favor and find someone with a warrior class. It’s crazy how much of this is like an old rpg game. Wah wah wah…” continued Tommy.

CJ just tuned out as soon as he couldn’t understand what Tommy was saying again. The end of the world was happening in his lifetime, and it had classes. Like role playing game classes. He could hardly believe it. Did Tommy just say saber-toothed chihuahuas? This was all too much for him. His eyes glazed over as Tommy continued to speak. He didn’t really understand why his car wouldn’t start. His passenger mentioned it wouldn’t turn over unless it was made in the seventies. CJ wondered why that would be.

“Hey, shut up for a second. Does the car not starting have something to do with electronics not working?” asked CJ.

“One, rude. Two I already told you that. The slate messages said all electronics relying on a circuit board would no longer function. It said we hadn’t earned wah wah wah…,” responded Tommy.

“Hang on. I got everything up until earned that time, but it was the first time I heard you say it. So, if I guess it by context, I can understand it? This is bizarre,” said CJ.

“You mean to tell me I was talking all that time, and you couldn’t understand a word I was saying? Dude, are you from another country or something? I’ve been speaking English this whole time. Man, I really don’t think you’ll last long. There are honest to God monsters roaming the streets since ten in the morning. No one knows where they came from. I’ve seen more dead bodies in the past few hours than I care to admit. My class is practically useless when it comes to these things,” explained a more animated Tommy.

“What class did you pick? I’m simply curious since I can’t read the prompts,’ asked CJ.

“Carpenter. I was a carpenter’s apprentice before the end of the world. Suffice it to say it doesn’t help fight monsters. I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to jump the line. Apprenticeship is really dog eat dog, but I was almost eaten by dogs. I fuckin hate this, man. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” said Tommy clearly on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Maybe we just hold tight until the cops show up. My place isn’t far from here, you’re welcome to come with me but I don’t have much in terms of food in the fridge. I don’t intend to wait this out in my car,” offered CJ.

“You still don’t get it. The cops aren’t coming man. This isn’t a local disturbance. This is global. There aren’t enough of them to help every man woman and child on this planet. Wah wah wah wah,” said Tommy.

“I didn’t catch that last bit, but we should probably get going. Maybe I’ll get a better grasp of our situation once I get home,” CJ told him as he slowly cracked his door open.

Once they were both out of the car they crept round to the trunk. CJ opened the trunk quietly and quickly grabbing a few essentials he thought might come in handy. Firstly, he grabbed a jug of water he kept in there for emergencies. Then he handed Tommy his tire iron but didn’t let go. When their eyes met, he gave Tommy a sharp nod of his head before releasing the heavy metal implement. A measure of trust was just established between the two. After pocketing a few more small items and shoving a spare deck of cards in his inside pocket, they off.