Slatepocalypse: Unlocked Arcanum

CJ and Monty skulked around through the shrubbery. It seemed every twenty feet or so was a torch up on the walls. Once they reached the corner where two walls met, CJ looked down the length of the wall to see if there was another entrance. The small globes of fire light did not illuminate anymore slug guards. Then Monty got his attention. It seemed there was a whole large enough for Monty to slip through to the other side of the wall. It was just after the sharp ninety degree turn of the corner.

Squatting down, CJ peered through the hole. On the other side of the wall were two smaller dwellings. Each had thatched roofs with a single door in the front and windows along the sides. CJ looked to see if he could climb the wall here since the corner was between two of the torches. This spot was relatively dark but if he went ten yards in either direction he’d be in the light. From here he could also look into the starry skies above. They were alien to him with large celestial bodies traveling across the sky. One was green with red dots while the other was conical and shimmering blue. Both objects were no bigger than his fist, giving CJ a concept of how far away they were in the cosmos. No farther than earths moon on a crystal clear night.

“Climb up here,” came the whispered voice of Monty from above him.

Monty had found some rope and dropped it over the edge. CJ wasted no time. He clambered up the wall with the grace of a drunk elephant. Monty needed to put a paw over his face to muffle his laughter. Eventually a very cross looking CJ made it up to the top of the ten foot wall. He laid flat across the top face down. It was about a yard in width up here so his arms and legs sort of dangled over each side. CJ looked down over the edge to see two slug guards slowly patrolling the in perimeter of the main castle. Dotted around the exterior of the castle were several small homes that matched what he saw through the whole earlier. The smell out in the gardens area was pleasant but the interior was more rank than he was expecting. With the dim light he could make out something glimmering in a line along the roads. From up here he could see there was only one main gate with a road leading from the double doors of the castle toward it. It was a good thing they didn’t go all the way around the walls only to end up back at the same gate they started with.

CJ waited until the slug guards were out of sight around a corner before he dropped the ten feet down to the ground. There was some pain from the fall and his health points dropped by ten points leaving him with forty health. He’d have to be more careful in the future. A full fifth of his health pool was gone. CJ crouched down rubbing his ankles before the rope he used to climb up dropped down on his head. Then Monty hopped from the wall to the roof of the nearest house before hopping down to ground level.

“Store that rope. It could come in handy,” ordered Monty while his ears stood straight up and rotated in different directions.

“What now? I’m no cat burglar. I don’t know how to do this,” whispered CJ.

“The bolster dungeon is designed to hone the skills you already have. Think about what you can do and apply it to the situation. I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, we’re already inside,” Monty shot back.

CJ took Monty’s words to heart. He was no fool. All his time training as an escape artist taught him a few things about breaking out. Could he apply the lessons learned in reverse to break in? It was put up or shut up time. There were two guards on the outside of the wall looking out. Two guards patrolling the inside wall near the castle. CJ needed to time his break in so that the interior guards were on the opposite side of the castle from both him and the exterior guards. That meant waiting for another circuit to gauge how long it took them to go all the way around. The castle itself was no bigger than a mansion. Maybe thirty six hundred square feet. There must be a staircase inside that lead up to the second floor where CJ would bet good money the queens chambers would be. He wasn’t going to go through the front door so that meant a window on the first floor.

As the last bit of rope slurped into his sleeve, CJ peered around looking for anything that resembled an alarm. Monty’s ears than went flat to the back of his head as he hunched down. The patrol was coming back around. CJ clocked that at a little under five minutes. One of the guards had a lantern on a stick that bobbled as they slid. There was almost a sticky wet sound as they passed by the hut CJ and Monty were hiding behind. Now CJ new what the glimmering line was. The slug guards left a trail of slime in their wake. He made a mental note not to disturb the slime as he made his way over to the castle proper. They might get suspicious if a pair of shoe prints broke the glimmering remnants of their passage.

“That window. If we go now, they’ll all be as far away as possible if we need to break the glass,” whispered CJ to Monty.

Monty just nodded and they both slunk their way over to the castle wall. Every twenty yards was a large window with cross bracing that led up to an arched top. It looked like they opened out on a hinge set into the right side of the wall. There was a latch on the inside with a simple hook through a loop. The was the problem as well, it was on the inside. CJ took out a long flat piece of metal he got from the backroom of the auto parts store. At the time he thought it was strange to see slim-jim in there. They were typically used to break into cars, but it was the perfect tool for what he needed to do right now. As he applied the tool Monty darted off to his right without saying a word. That’s when CJ’s Hand is quicker than the eye ability kicked in. The hook popped out of the loop and the window swung open surprisingly fast. CJ needed to catch it with the flat of hand to keep it from banging against the wall. That earned him another five points of mana regeneration. He kept one hand on the window as he carefully slipped his left leg into the castle. There was a small table beneath the window with some trinkets on it. They clattered to the ground, but CJ was incredibly lucky that the floor was covered in a matted sticky carpet. That managed to muffle the sound. Monty raced back with something in his mouth. He jumped up onto CJ’s right thigh before moving into the castle.

“Quickly, they’re right behind me,” said Monty after spitting a piece of metal that ended with a round ball onto the small table.

CJ managed to quietly close the window and re-latch it before the rays of a bobbing lantern pierced the darkness. They both ducked down below the windowsill as the two oblivious guards passed by. Even latched there was a crack in the window, enough so CJ could hear the conversation the slug guards were having.

“We just need to keep patrolling until we get the all clear. Can you believe this is the last night we need to live under the tyranny of that hate filled bitch? I thought it would never end,” said slug guard one.

“She made me watch as my own brother was dropped into the salt mines. That bitch is getting what’s coming to her. I only wish I could be there when the assassin drags the salt covered dagger across her throat,” replied slug guard two.

CJ and Monty looked back at each other in shock. Then CJ turned his attention to the room they were in. It looked like a dining room only there were no chairs. Just a long table with fucked up trails of matted rug running back and forth. Monty almost wretched at the sight of it. There were paintings along the walls of slug people in crowns striking regal poses. A large, closed double door led out through the back and an open doorway led out into the foyer near the front door. CJ new time was running out. If simple guards knew about what was happening than whatever staff was here knew as well. That told CJ that the interior should be all but empty. He decided to try his luck. He jogged over to the open doorway. Monty was hot on his heals. The entry way was well lit with a ramp leading up. CJ almost facepalmed expecting slug people to have stairs. Of course it was ramp. The ramp switched back to grant access to the second floor. There were no servants in sight as CJ looked down at Monty.

“Want to go for a ride?” asked CJ.

“What do you mean?” Monty asked back before CJ grabbed Monty by the scruff of the neck before tossing him across the hall and up to the second floor.

Monty landed with a dull thud. He then popped up and looked around. There was a banister that ran around the opening from the first up the ramp. Lanterns were lit up here but there were no guards in sight. Now that his fears were allayed, he began plotting to get CJ back for throwing him to the second story without warning. Then he realized that CJ was waiting for some kind of signal. Monty couldn’t whistle in this form so instead he opted to waive a paw at CJ through the wooden poles of the banister.

CJ noticed the rabbit paw and began to make his way up the ramp. Unfortunately, the ramp was also covered in slug slime. He slipped and face planted right into. He almost lost his breakfast as he slid all the way back down to the first floor. He could almost feel Monty’s mocking laughter from upstairs. This time he grabbed the railing to make his way to the halfway point landing. It was like trying to walk up a frozen hillside. His patent leather shoes offering no purchase. Finally, he made it to the second floor and, but it was almost too late. CJ could see the door to the queens’ chambers was slightly open and Monty was sprinting his way there.

CJ flung the door wide to see a slug in a black trench coat that only covered his humanoid upper half wearing a balaclava over its face with the two eye stalks pointing out. The full room had an enormous bed with cloth draping each side of it. Even with size of the bed outstripping anything CJ had ever seen, there was still the extended length of a slug’s tail draping over the edge to the floor. The assassin’s eyes swiveled to see CJ in the doorway and Monty streaking through the air feet first in a corkscrew dropkick. It raised a dagger in its hand and was about to plunge it into the queen slug lying on the bed. Before he could CJ cast Choking Hazard for the first time. Small objects made of hardened mana flew from CJ’s hand instantaneously lodging in the assassin’s throat. He dropped the knife to the ground before reaching for his throat. Monty landed his attack center mass bouncing the slug man backwards into a wardrobe. The piece furniture cracked under the pressure and disgorged its contents. Dresses and jewelry spilled out all over the assassin tangling him up in finery. Monty looked back CJ now that they’ve made a ton of noise. Then Monty smiled.

Back when CJ was opening the window, Monty had spotted a bell on a pole with a string attached. He didn’t have a lot of time, so he bounced off the wall to reach the bell itself. Then he reached under the bells skirt nudged the hammer off the hook that let it swing back and forth when pulled. The hammer fell to the floor with muffled thud. Monty jumped down and snatched it up in his teeth before hot footing back over to CJ as the slug guards were rounding the corner.

“Who disturbs my beauty sleep?!” screamed the queen in a deep throat-ed below usually reserved for the widest of Walmart shoppers.

CJ snatched up the knife and threw it at the assassin who was trying to untangle himself from the dresses. It sunk deep into the lower part of the slug man as he started to shrivel up and die. Then he began to snatch up anything within in reach. Goblets, necklaces, frilly lace, anything really. Then the world spun back into technicolor before CJ and Monty appeared in a dark room with a spotlight illuminating a lone pedestal.